Hi! I'm Ashanti. I'm twenty years old and I live alone in a flat just around the corner from my school.

I have everything and yet I have nothing. five years ago my sister got married to a rich man from an Eastern country. She arranged for the whole family to come witness her wedding. She booked a flight. The same flight which appeared on the news after crashing. I was the only survivor.

Everything I knew was taken away from me that day. My whole life, my whole family....

I have nothing and no one left. No one except my friend .... Grief.

Grief is the only thing I have and hold on to. They say I should let it go and move on.

They think it is that easy. In the darkest part of my heart I know I will never live again. I know I can never love again.....

Being twenty years old is not easy. It's even worse when you're beautiful and seem to be well cultured. I get approached by boys all the time. Or young men if you want to call them that. Who says I need love? Being in a relationship like other girls will only slow down my plan. I want to live dangerously . I want to break barriers. I want to find the truth. I don't want to be a cute little FL with blonde hair and pink cheeks obeying the ml and following him around like a pet.... That stuff is not for me. I want to graduate from school and become a detective. I want to know the real reason behind the plane crash we had.

I don't need to live like others. Have a boyfriend, get engaged, get married, have babies....

I am different. I wish the world could just accept my style and let me be.

I have been in contact with love before. Love is a beautiful thing. As long as there is trust. But I have concluded. I don't need love. I don't need my ex-boyfriend to pretend to care about me. To bring me worthless gifts and to tell me meaningless words about how much he loves me. I hate it when someone else is in control of my feelings. I hate it when my feelings are in control of me. Being a puppet.... not my cup of tea.

I trusted him.... for what? He wanted only to use me. He never actually loved me. I found out he had other plans and he didn't regard me as an important part of his life. I was only meant for that time, for those feelings, for that plan.

But you know what? I understand it. Everyone has a right to have plans, and it is not his fault that I was stupid enough to believe him.

However, I am not completely alone. I have a friend. He loves me for real and he promised me that our relationship would never end. His name is Grief.