Butterflies when they fly in the sky.. How beautiful.. How many peoples’ envy.. How many artists’ muse? Everyone knows the life cycle of a butterfly, it goes through the transition phase before breaking through the cocoon and flying high to the sky. But what if, after breaking through the cocoon what awaits it wasn’t the vast sky but steel pillars encasing it. Do they regret it? Do they hope they never made it out? Or.. do they feel happy because they’re fed well and taken care of unlike those who had to search for it.

Happiness.. Is it a risk free and peaceful life?

11:55 p.m, 29th August 2022. Frisco, Texas

Leaning against the ground to floor windows, Zhao Ning calmly took a sip of the coffee she made for herself.

When she was born, her parents’ only wish was that she could lead a peaceful life and that was why they named her Ning which meant peace.

The sky was dark and there were rare sights of vehicles on the road. The entire scenery before her was serene.

This year, I’m turning 28 and few people have what I have in life - peace. I’m currently a Product Manager at a well known MultiNational Company. My subordinates respect me and my leaders value me. This year I'm definitely getting a promotion. I was born and brought up in China. I completed my education there as well. But America didn’t feel weird now as we all are anyways working from home, and there was no second choice for me than moving here because my husband had a transfer and he can’t work from home like I do. He has to go to the office everyday and sometimes has to work all night - like today.

Her cell phone rang, It was 11:59 pm.

She looked at the caller in the display, a name that couldn’t be any more familiar - Wang Haoyu. A small smile crept up her lips as she attended the call.

Silence all over, neither of them spoke.

Seconds ticked away.

3..2..1

Fireworks decorated the sky before her, as she gazed at the splendid view from her windows as she heard the calm whisper on the other side of the phone.

“Happy Birthday, my dear wife. I love you the most”

Her eyes curved into a crescent as she mumbled a small thanks.

“How I wish to be by your side right now”, there was a tint of regret in his tone.

“No worries. I know work isn’t all that easy for you now. I’ll wait till you return”, Zhao Ning replied.

“No No you don’t have to. Take a rest. You have work tomorrow morning, but, free up your schedule from the afternoon. I’ve already applied for leave”, Wang Haoyu said.

She smiled, “Of course”

“Then, good night”, he said.

“Mhm, Good Night”, she whispered.

She hung up the call

Yet not a single trace of sleepiness was found in her eyes as she sat on the sofa and continued to watch through the windows.

Oh how serene

It was as if she was the entire personification of calmness and tranquillity.

It has been like this for 10 years. He will give her an exclusive fireworks show, whisper in her ears that he loves her the most, a promise that never spoke about forever, he always lived in the present. Next day, he will always take a half a day holiday and accompany her to do what she likes - or what he thinks she likes – or to be precise what she liked 10 years ago

Her phone beeped bringing her back to reality.

They were all messages from her friends, her family.

She was always showered with love. Her parents’ protected her, her friends adored her and her teachers valued her. Even relatives who normally can’t stomach others being happy genuinely wished the best for her.

Because she knew what to talk about and when to talk, she knew how to please people. She was talented but always did what brought the least risk. She avoided arguments. She looked pretty, presentable and approachable. Sometimes even if it isn’t what she likes to do, she will do it if that could bring peace in her life.

She scrolled through the multitude of “Happy Birthday to our princess” texts. It was always the same wishes for her to have a peaceful life, some envying the fireworks show, some telling her to cherish her husband forever, some telling her to give birth soon.

She laughed a little, “Have a peaceful life” she said aloud. “Wasn’t this much peace already enough”, she shook her head and continued to scroll through the texts.

Then she looked at the text sent at exactly 12 am.

The sender’s name couldn’t be anymore familiar - Xiyuan.

Amongst a list of professional yet distant names, this one stood out and so was the text he sent.

Zhao Ning, It's been 27 years ah! And yet you still don’t know how to ride a bus alone. So in your 28th year, can you finally, finally start being a little more daring? I wish you an adventurous life ahead.

Quick recap of one of your most daring moments - Do you remember that day when we sneaked into the Principal’s office after school was over to take back the manhua physical copy he snatched from my friend Chen RuoRuo? Chen RuoRuo instantly became your fan after that. He worshipped you as a goddess!! But till now the principal had no idea that it was you, the outstanding student and the class leader who actually sneaked into his room to bring that manhua back.

Zhao Ning, that day, when we took the manhua and ran for life before reaching your house, you were panting and swore at me that you would never do this again yet your eyes were smiling, you were happy. I hope you can have that happiness forever.

“Happiness..”, she said aloud. “Aren’t I happy right now?”, her eyes dimmed.

Yes, she never took a bus alone but isn’t it because she is well cared for? Who in their right mind would rather take a bus than to be treated like a precious one?

She remembered what happened with Chen RuoRuo, it was indeed one of her most daring moments. Before meeting this clown, she would’ve never imagined she would sneak into the principal's office to bring back a confiscated item. Even thinking about it made her adrenaline rush. How reckless was she? What about happiness ah? She was scared to death!!

She shook her head and replied

Dude only when you are cherished, you will know the happiness it brings. Happiness isn’t about being daring, It is having a peaceful life. When you finally find someone you love, let's see if you would leave her to take a bus alone.

The reply came almost instantly

I’ll let her flap her wings and fly high in the sky. Once she tastes freedom, I highly doubt it wouldn’t be addicting. And if she wants to stay protected, I can do that too. But never letting her taste freedom and telling her that the cage is her castle isn’t the best kind of life, is it?

She sighed. Every year this gets worse, he used to be subtle and hint at her that she doesn’t have freedom in life in the pursuit of peace but now he has become more open about his thoughts. She really didn’t want to keep this topic going.

Luckily it seemed like he realised that as well as the next text came almost immediately.

Forget it, It's your birthday, I don’t want to talk more on this. So, Is it all okay in the U.S now? After all, it's been three years since you left. When are you coming back to China?

Zhao Ning : Boss, my husband is working all day and all night here to support me. Is it even polite if I just demand him to go back to China with me right now?

Xiyuan : I’m talking about you, not Wang Haoyu. How do you feel about living forever in the U.S?

Zhao Ning : If he wants to go back, we will, else there is no way. Not to mention, I’m finally getting used to work from here. It would seriously hammer my rhythm if I go back now.

Xiyuan : That’s right. Often changing your place for work isn’t advisable.

Zhao Ning : Enough talk about me. How is the CEO doing?

Xiyuan : You finally know how to care for me huh? I ain’t telling you. It's late at night there isn’t it? Just go to sleep right away.

Zhao Ning : UNFAIR

Xiyuan : Good Night, Stupid.

Good Night, Stupid. She read the text twice and suddenly sleepiness washed over her. She looked at the cup of unfinished coffee in front of her and looked at the locked door. Doesn’t seem like he’s coming home anytime sooner. Okay, I’d rather sleep.

She walked into the bedroom and went to deep sleep.

August 30, 2022. Beijing, China.

“Mr. Luo, there is an executive meeting in ten minutes”, His Secretary's voice called out.

"Hm, I understand. Give me five minutes", Luo Xiyuan said. His eyes were still looking at the chat interface. It was his chat with his best friend from school and college - Zhao Ning.

His name, Luo Xiyuan, was a stark contrast to Zhao Ning. While hers symbolified peace, his name on the other hand symbolified ambitiousness.

And just like his name, he was an ambitious one. His father was a very normal man, working a 9 to 5 job, earning enough to bring him up but he wasn't seeking a stable life. He started from scratch, he was very passionate about developing games, with his friends, they started out as a startup company and then slowly raised to be one of the leading game developers around the world known for giving the players an immersive gaming experience.

"What kind of a stupid I am. It's her birthday and all I did was to upset her first thing", he cursed himself. He stood up and looked at the wall by the side. It had a photo. He was standing at the right end, his friends Chen RuoRuo and Xiao Jing stood to his left. All three of them were making weird poses with a smile and after Xiao Jing stood a girl, she looked shy compared to others, she was tentatively holding out her hand to reach out and grab the hands of the boy standing near her. The guy on the other hand was looking at the camera without noticing the girl's gaze on him.

It was a picture taken at the time of their University graduation, when they all were still young.

Looking at the photo, he eventually thought back to the day of their graduation 5 years ago.

2017 Beijing

"Cheers, brother, we graduated successfully", Chen RuoRuo beamed with happiness.

"What do you mean we graduated? We are entrepreneurs! Not normal graduates okay?!", Luo Xiyuan scoffed.

"Hahaha what entrepreneurs? Come on Xiyuan, aren't you wasting your youth doing worthless stuff? To think, the most sought after company actually wanted to hire you for a very good CTC but you turned them down because of your 'dream' isn't it a pity?", Wang Haoyu mocked.

"Hey Wang Haoyu..", Chen RuoRuo was about to talk back when Luo Xiyuan stopped him, "Everyone has a dream of their own. I don't want things to be easy for me. Even if it means suffering I'll just suffer and then correct my ways? Who doesn't make mistakes when we are young? Right?", Luo Xiyuan smiled.

"I don't make mistakes. And, Zhao Ning as well didn't make a mistake", Wang Haoyu continued, "Xiyuan, don't think I'm looking down on your decision, I'm just worried for your future ah. Look at your father, have a stable job, and have earned enough for you. Now, you want to waste his savings instead of earning more and saving up? Building a whole new company? Do you think it's one of your jokes? You are just wasting your dad's money!"

Chen RuoRuo was furious, "What do you mean he's using his father's money. Brother Luo never used his father's.."

"Shut up Shut up", Luo Xiyuan interfered, "Thank you Wang Haoyu. I understand your concern. But don't worry and believe in your friend, I can really make it. And if I can't, I'm still young. I'm not a perfectionist like you and Zhao Ning to make right decisions all the time and hey speaking of which where is Zhao Ning and Xiao Jing? I haven't seen them for some time. We still have to take the commemorative photo. You see, you both wait here, I'll go take a look", Without saying further he walked away in a second.

While passing through an alley, he heard the familiar voices but the subject they were talking about made him halt his steps.

"Zhao Ning, can you wake up?? Do you really want to do this??",Xiao Jing's worried voice sounded from the alley.

"Xiao Jing, this is actually the right choice", Zhao Ning's usual tone was now tinted with some doubt.

"NingNing, listen, if not for Luo Xiyuan, you wouldn't even have dared to choose this major? Right?? I thought you chose Designing because you really loved to.."

"I do love it. Xiao Jing!",Zhao Ning said assertively, "I love it. So I studied it, too. I even convinced my family to support me for that. But I know where to stop. Just because I love character designing doesn't mean I should do a job that isn't going to give me a stable life. I want a normal 9 to 5 job and earn well, live a calm and peaceful life. Not to mention, Haoyu also chose the same field as me. And this is the only right choice for me to make at this point", Zhao Ning's voice was cool.

"You are a coward Zhao Ning", Xiao Jing said. "You always have been. You never dared to do what you like just because you thought daring to do what you like might make your life adventurous as everyone has already convinced you that all you need in your life is to be normal and peaceful. But have you ever asked your inner self what you actually want? Not your father, not your mother, not your boyfriend, but you!", Xiao Jing asked.

Silence befell.

"You actually wanted to do the Maths course and become a normal staff in some Government office just because your parents wanted you to do that, didn't you? If Luo Xiyuan didn't convince you to dare and do what you want to do atleast for once, you would have never even chose to study Designing and just keep thinking about it all in your mind, whenever playing a new game, you'll keep complaining about how it's not satisfying and would've never learnt more about it though you really, really, want to, right?", Xiao Jing questioned.

She had nothing to refute. Whatever Xiao Jing said was true.

"Also, Wang Haoyu, is he really who you need?'' Xiao Jing asked, "Zhao Ning, 5 years back, it was you, who told me that you don't want to be a caged butterfly. That you want to break the peaceful-image others have coated upon you."

"I was.. out of my mind at that time. And I said that, just on that one night", Zhao Ning refuted.

"Heh. That was the only night you were brave", Xiao Jing scoffed.

"Zhao Ning, do you realise that when you have a chance to live the life the way you want to, you are sacrificing it for that worthless person in Wang Haoyu???", Xiao Jing shouted.

"Can you shut up?",Zhao Ning finally couldn't take it anymore, "What do you mean by all that you're talking about right now?? I said the same to Luo Xiyuan and I'm telling the same to you - I chose this for myself, by myself. What I need the most in my life is stability, peace. I don't care what my dreams were. Yes I love character design, I was lucky enough to study it as well but that is not going to give me the future I want. What I want is to have a happy family life with Wang Haoyu. I know you don't like Wang Haoyu but to think you would actually be so shameless to mask your envy and jealousy with some kind of 'care' for me?? This is my life. And I don't want you to be so concerned for me? Okay?"

"Jealous… envy… Zhao Ning.. is this what you think of me…?", Xiao Jing's voice broke.

"I'm.. I'm..", before she understood what happened there, a happy voice suddenly broke their silence.

"So both of you are here ah! Come on, let's go and take the commemorative photo. Haoyu is already waiting. I don't know where Brother Luo went? He wanted to look for you guys, but now he's missing", Chen RuoRuo said and dragged them both. Clearly he didn't have any idea what transpired between them both.

"Mr. Luo? Mr. Luo??", His secretary's voice brought him back to the present.

He turned to look at her, "It's been 15 minutes", she said.

"I'm sorry. Let's go right now", Luo Xiyuan adjusted his suit and tie and walked to the conference room.

His secretary looked back at the photo her boss was staring at. She has met Chen RuoRuo and Xiao Jing from the photo. In fact, Chen RuoRuo was heading the engineering department and Xiao Jing was heading the Marketing department in their company, not to mention they both were even major stakeholders. But she has never met the other two who obviously look like a couple. But somehow she felt the sorrow in her boss's eyes whenever he looked at the picture was because of the girl she didn't know in the photo.

“Clear my schedule for next 2 days, book a ticket to Frisco”, Luo Xiyuan’s orders brought the secretary back to senses.

30th August,2022. Frisco, Texas

Zhao Ning opened her eyes as the morning sunlight greeted her, she turned to her side and caught sight of an empty bed. So he didn't return last night? She thought to herself, disappointment flashed in her eyes. She can lie to others that she is having a happy married life but how could she lie to herself?

She got out of the bed, putting all the thoughts to the back of her mind as she got ready for work from home.

She made a simple breakfast for herself and soon sat before her laptop. Her phone beeped. It was a notification from a game app - Dear gamer, It's been 1826 days without you~ We hope you can come back and take a look at how we have grown in this time, meanwhile we wish you a very happy birthday

This is yet another recurring incident every year. Ever Since she graduated, she never played games again. It was one thing that she thought games were addicting, the other thing was Wang Haoyu didn’t like her playing games as he thought that would have a bad influence on her and because of that, she hasn't even tried the games developed by her best friend Luo Xiyuan. He never got mad at her for that but she knows he would be disappointed every time she says No to his products.

Before her thoughts drift further away, she focused on the task in hand and started her routine work.

Soon she received an email -

Congratulations Mrs. Zhao Ning, for your continued efforts and contributions to the company’s development, for your consistent hard work and your thirst for knowledge, we would like to cherish you a little more.

After discussions with the Senior executives, we decide to offer you a promotion to the position of Director of Project Management starting October 1, 2022. You have to report to work at the office in Texas starting next week.

Good luck and we are looking forward to more adventures with you.

It was her long expected promotion. Though she was expecting it, when she finally got the confirmation she still felt very happy. Though her current job wasn’t her dream, she was very satisfied with the job nonetheless.

She decided to share the good news with Wang Haoyu but the moment the call connected after trying for five minutes his voice came from the other side “Important meeting. Later”

The call disconnected.

She understood.

She always understood.

It would be petty to hold a grudge over something as simple as this. He was working and in an important meeting, she isn’t a stupid to fight over this.

She tried to console herself when she remembered that day when she visited his office six months back. She wanted to give him a surprise and was at his office door. She looked inside the room and he was leisurely reading a book. Seeing he wasn’t busy she gave him a call but her heart sank when he ignored the call after seeing the caller's name. She kept trying until he answered, “I’m busy”

Her eyes welled up, she turned around and left. Since then, she never tried a surprise visit again. She didn’t know why he did that. She had no idea. They were together for 10 years now. So it wasn’t a big shock that their passion would wear out. But he lied to her. He didn’t respect her. She always knew her place. She knew to take what was given to her. She never demanded anything from him.

She knew they were in love when it all started 10 years ago. He cherished her and she thought he was her type. Because before proposing to her, he talked to her family, convinced them. He took care of her, protected her and always gave her reliable advice. The only time he was disappointed in her was when she chose a Designing course in University. He thought it was a shame. But because of her talent and her hard work, she got selected in an entirely different career path.

He fell in love with a guy who made her feel at ease and made life easy for her. Their love wasn’t crazily passionate but it held respect and admiration.

But whose fault was it that they fell for a facade?

The ever protecting self of him was a facade to hide his possessiveness for her.

The ever pleasing and accepting self of her was a facade to hide her true desires that were full of risks.

When they both realise they weren’t who they thought themselves to be, they both have come to an unspoken understanding to keep the act going. Because breaking up after so many years of being together had so many risk elements.

Thinking upto this point she suddenly felt all of this was ridiculous. They have already lost the love between them, now, they are even losing the respect and trust. He still takes care of her, still treats her the way he always did but the fakeness in their relationship was only increasing. They were visibly growing tired of each other. Their differences become more and more distinct.

She made herself a cup of coffee and decided to focus on working. She already applied for leave in the afternoon.

Sometimes it's better not to think too much. It's a happy news that she got a promotion, she can’t slack off now. What happens will happen but until then she can enjoy a few more days of peace.

But time is a funny thing, the few more days of peace weren’t meant to be for her.