Killing Silence.(Taekook)
silence.
Silence.. is what everyone hears whenever they talk to me. people find it terribly irritating when I don't talk to them.
somehow I've survived without talking for long.. people have given their own conclusions about me. Some have even forgotten the fact that I am a human.
Isn't it better for me to not speak for my and others own good? but do I have to suffer in such a brutal way. do I have to let the person suffer along with me?
the answer is no. no matter what happens to my life he should never get hurt nor should he ever feel like he's being dragged into my cruel world leaving his world just for me.
But could I just leave him when he's the one helping me breath in this world.. I know it's very wrong to keep him dragging along with me... but he helps me breath... he helps me survive... he helps me speak even though I don't talk. he understands me he's my best friend the only person who understands me.
But it would be cruel.. very cruel of me to break people down.. to tell them the truth..
but would they believe me?
school.
mom.
Taehyung dear? are you ready? jimin's waiting outside for you..
She spoke with a smile but I could see the refrain she was using to smile. She had dark circles under her eyes permanently etched to her skin.
I smiled.. but I knew that I was not truely smiling. I do this just so they could feel at ease. so that wouldn't question me anything about how I'm feeling..
Both if us knew that the smiles were reassuring, forceful smiles but none of us questioned. she looked at me with the same look she had been giving me for a while.
mom.
How are you feeling today?
There.. the very question that made me look like a clown. The very question which dampened my spirits..
I nodded my head and smiled as reassuringly as possible even though I wanted to say no. even though I wanted to say that I was dying inside.
mom.
*smiles* have a good day at school honey.☺️
like I ever would. school is my own personal hell. I would have looked forward to going to school but only the people coming there weren't as nice as they looked.
Mom hugged me tight with the same intensity she does everyday. it explained that she counted on today.. she counted that I would speak today.
Only is she knew I would never.
mom.
we'll go later at jimin's house.. is that okay?
she looked at me hopefully. I have known those eyes for long. she hoped that I'd answer her somehow by talking. I smiled and bobbed my head up and down once smiling brightly.
I saw her shoulders droop at once in defeat but she smiled as she knew that the smile on my face is a genuine one this time.
mom.
Alright now go before he attacks my house.. ☺️
I kissed her cheek and ran down along the stairs, walking out of the house. A shiny Volvo sat at the front road probably my bestie's car!😊
The car honked once and I knew that it's Jimin. It's his signature way of telling that he's here to take me. even when I know that he's the only one who would ever do that.
I hopped inside the car and smiled at him. He returned the same.
Jimin❤️
So? ready to kick some ***?
I frowned at him. what is he talking about?
Jimin❤️
I meant.. ready to go?😅
I smiled and locked in my seatbelt showing him that I'm all ready to face the school.
He drove fine. It wasn't a year ago he got his license but he's a very good driver and I trust him for that.
what I didn't trust was a day without any nuisance at school. I could think of all the things that could happen once people a retard like me in the premises.
sign
Jimin❤️
somehow she didn't mind me touching her..
Jimin❤️
so I gathered my shit and went for it. I asked if she was interested in me.
Jimin❤️
but you know what she said? ' I have a boyfriend, hottie~' tsk! like I knew she had with all the staring she had done with me..
jimin kept talking about the girl had met yesterday at a party.
I didn't mind listening to him cz that would keep him from asking anything to me. I was intently listening to him speak exaggeratedly about how few of the girls in the town are just irresistible.
we reached the school parking place in 15 minutes. my hands were sweating and I was freaking out inside. school gave me anxiety.
jimin grabbed my shoulder making me look at him. it didn't give me a chance to put up my facade. But I smiled. He frowned and I knew that he wasn't convinced that I'm fine.
Jimin❤️
is it him? that fu*cker?
I shook my head vigorously. but he's exactly the one. the one whom I'm scared of. one of the guy who makes my life in school hell..
Jimin❤️
You have your phone with you?
I nodded simply answering a yes to his question. He sighed. Looking hopefully at me.
Jimin❤️
text me if that guy gives you a hard time okay?
Text him? I turned around without smiling and hopped off the car. That is something I wouldn't do. text him or even talk.
'no you shouldn't talk tae.. remember.. once you talk.. everything's going to change..'
Jimin tugged at my shirt pulling me back at him. I stood few inches apart from his body. I flinched internally and gasped as Jimin out his hand on my shoulder.
'its alright.. it's only jimin.'
Jimin❤️
You know my Schedule, run back to me if he does anything. okay?
I rolled my eyes and walked away letting his hands drop away from my shoulders. as soon as he was at a good distance I felt myself calming down.. Why do I still suffer? a mere friendly touch makes me flinch.. can I ever change and be normal?
Jimin❤️
hey! Taehyung! see you at lunch!
He blowed me a kiss as he shouted that at me. people around did a back take as they heard Jimin say those words to me. Shit! few girls walked past knocking me as soon as Jimin turned around towards his building to meet his friends.
A few boys snickered as I passed by them. I kept my head low as I walked past them. I tried ignoring everyone. I did my best but their words just stung me down to my heart.
Ben.
Hey taehyung! we're having a party tomorrow night! what do you SAY?
The boys around him howled in laughter as I walked past with my head lowered. These jokes about me not talking are a tradition followed here.. People love to tease me that I can't talk even if it's an old news.
I reached my class without any nuisance right before the bell rang. I breathed a sigh before entering the room and walking silently to my seat.
The first thing I do as soon as I reach my place is look around for the signs of that person. The very person who makes my life at school a real hell.
I winced noticeably though she took no note of that. She took my bag away more like she throwed my bag down on the floor sat on my desk and grabbed a handful of my hair.
The seething pain in my head was making my head spin but more than that the way she looked as if it made her day was making me cringe more and more.
I winced and and tried to remove her hand off my head. but she yanked my head straight that clearly told me not to to any of that.
my brother? she's doing this for knowing where my brother is?
Tears stung my eyes but I closed them. I couldn't show that I was hurting because of a girl's behaviour. I couldn't drop down in people's eyes more than I am now.
hope.
Get the f*ck away from him!
I felt her hands yanking my head as he spoke. Surely that's hobi. Becca clicked her tongue before glaring openly at me and walking away showing her middle finger at hobi.
Hobi rolled his eyes then smiled at me. I smiled back as I combed my hair with my fingers. My tears never came out.. I just wouldn't let them.
He sat in the place where Becca had sat but I don't mind him doing that. He's good. He helps me. He's a very good friend only if I spoke to him as he did that would actually be better but no.
I giggled and nodded at him. He smiled ruffling my hair.
hope.
uh.. did jimin come today?
He asked with a blush. I knew everything about this. mainly the reason why I let my feelings damp was because hobi a far more good guy than I am likes Jimin. and hopefully one day jimin will even though now he's crazy about girls with big boo*s.
I poked at his side smriking slightly as I saw blush deeply at my actions. It's a way of teasing him. He smiled hiding his face with his hands before folding them aganist his chest and keeping a straight face.
I waited for 5 seconds before I saw him going completely red and I decided to tell him he came today.
I used sign language since he understood. I told him that Jimin came today and is probably talking about his adventures last night.
hope.
*he met my sister yesterday. she happen to know my little crush on him.. it didnot go well. she restricted me from seeing him*
He added with a sad smile. I patted his arm and signed back.
Taehyung🖤
*it's alright. one day she'll have to accept. I'm sure jimin will understand your feelings.. e's a mud head.*
hope.
Hey! you can't say that!😦
Taehyung🖤
(sticks out his tongue at hobi) *I can*
just then the teacher came in looking as dejected as I looked while coming inside the school. Hobi smiled as he went back to his seat and for once I breathed more comfortably as i acknowledged that he hadn't come yet. and I hope he doesn't come.
the teacher took her attendance. She called out each and every name on the attendance and students responded with a 'yes' when she called my name I pulled up my hand but as a ritual the teacher glanced at me so did the others.. The teacher never questioned me nothing talking... they only thought that I am a retard.
hell! He opened the door as dramatically as possible and looking the same rowdy as his clothes. He had a chewing gum in his mouth and walked in without caring to listen the teacher shout about coming to school at time
My heart was getting more and more constricted with every passing second I know he's here to ruin my day. I dared not to look at him. I glared down at the desk making sure it looked like I was not existing.
Jungkook
move it away, fu*cker!
He spoke gritting his teeth. I peered slightly at him and he looked annoyed. I reached down and took my bag, clutching it tightly to my chest.
He spoke as he took the seat beside me.
'only another day. and your done.'
'you won't meet him for another 6 weeks.'
With such thoughts I opened my maths book for my class.
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