“𝐏𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫! 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞!”

Oh my gosh, my stomach hurts!

Ugh, what is that woman saying? What does she mean by ‘push harder’?

I can’t even breathe properly because of the pain coursing through my veins, and now she wants me to push?

Please, I feel like my whole body is going to tear into half!

“Push it!”

Why do you keep telling me to push? I’m hurting so much that I don’t even have the strength to open my eyes! Whatever it is you want for me to push, just take it from me!

I really can’t do this anymore.

Whatever is happening, I could feel every fiber of strength in my body being drained out because of it…

But why does it hurt so much?

I’ve had several dreams before where I was cut or attacked, but during those times, I wasn’t in such intense pain as I was in, right now.

Is this even a dream? Am I still alive?

This is all so weird!

I could sense that something is definitely not right, and so I twisted my body to the side.

Just then, an intense pain seemed to fall down on my stomach. It kept growing and growing and I felt the pressure balloon up inside of me…

“Ahhh-gh! Why is this so painful?” I exclaimed.

Even back when I was constipated for several days, I was never this hurt!

If this was a dream, I would definitely buy a lottery ticket as soon as I wake up!

I remembered that there was a saying that the more vivid one’s dream is, the better the luck they would receive.

My eyes instantly lit up at the thought of money. However, as soon as I did, my vision started to focus on my surroundings…

I began to see people in strange clothes surrounding and staring down at me. They also seemed to have concerned faces as they uttered cheers. They were coaxing me to push harder.

They look restless, though.

What’s going on?

However, I was quickly losing my interest in trying to figure out what was happening because my lower body started to hurt so much that I thought I was going to die!

“Hmph! Argh! I am dying!”

I was slowly feeling lightheaded, and as soon as my surroundings became hazy, only one thing was clear to me; my lower limbs were being torn apart!

Even as I clenched my teeth and tried to take hold of my bearing, the pangs of pain were too much for me. I was drowned in an unexplainable agony and I couldn’t escape.

I couldn’t find the right words to describe just how much I was suffering, so I just kept on wailing.

This is a dream right? Please tell me this is just a dream.

I mustered whatever strength I had left and willed myself to wake up from this freakish nightmare. I bit on the insides of my cheeks and let out a strong force hoping to escape the clutches of this dream.

I felt my insides squirming and squeezing, and then I felt a rush of something slipping out of me. A sudden wave of a strange burning feeling washed over my senses.

Maybe I was waking up…

‘Heh, heh heh…Great! Just great. I think I’m going to get 1st place in the lottery…’ Just as I felt a sense of release, a sudden loud cry filled my ears.

“Uwaahh!”

“Huh? Wh-” When I tried to raise my head which was still heavy from exhaustion, the sight of a newborn covered in blood greeted me.

The baby was held in the arms of an unfamiliar older woman.

Why is there a kid here? This is weird…

Oh well, I guess I dream wildly!

This is such a vivid dream, but I’d rather have a different dream, now.

When am I waking up?

Somehow, this older woman was leaning closer towards me and showing me the baby. I gave the child a blank stare, this strange creature is someone else’s child isn’t it? What’s it doing so close to my face?

I could feel sweat trickling down from my forehead and I raised a hand to wipe it off, as soon as I did that the unfamiliar middle-aged woman smiled at me and said, “Congratulations your highness! You’ve given birth to a healthy princess!”

“Oh, yes thank…What?” Did I just hear what I heard?

“This is the child the princess had given birth to.” She must have misunderstood my outburst, because she started shoving the baby more into my face.

Excuse me, ma’am, but what are you saying?

I am a single, unmarried woman, how can I have a baby?

Besides, what princess is she talking about?

This is nonsense, I tell you!

The woman cradled the child into her arms and was wiping some of the blood away. She then stepped closer towards me again. I instantly closed my eyes as I felt her trying to make me look at the baby once more, “Come on now, doesn’t she look so pretty? She looks like you, princess.” I heard her speak softly.

I sighed, and slowly opened my eyes and saw the child that she was holding.

The older woman stared at me expectantly, I was still confused but I felt like I needed to say something, “Uhm… Well, yeah, she’s pretty. By the way…”

Did she say the baby looks like me now?

No, is that right? Does this child really look like me?

That’s such a scary thought!

The child seemed to have sensed what I was thinking since it suddenly burst into tears.

“Ah, dear…” The woman pulled away and started to soothe the crying girl.

I could feel panic rising up from my chest, why does this dream seem so real?

More importantly, how long is this dream going to last?

“Uwaaaah!” The child’s cries grew louder and more incessant.

I felt goosebumps run all over my body and spread more quickly as her cries filled the room.

This dream is really starting to make me uncomfortable.

I began to feel a sense of fear like I was sleeping next to a pair of scissors that will poke me the second I wake up. Just thinking about that, made me break into a cold sweat.

I really have a bad feeling about this…

My body started to feel warm, and the pain from the lower half of my body still made me wince. I could sense my mind wandering and filling me up with disorientation. While at the back of my confused mind, anxiety was knocking…

My gaze drifted across the rest of the people in my room, they all looked at me with eyes full of apprehension.

I couldn’t help but think, this dream is really so crystal clear. I could even see everyone’s features and expressions clearly!

As my eyes scanned the room, it landed on a nearby mirror. As I stared at it, I saw the image of an unrecognizable woman who was also staring back at me.

Wait, aren’t I the one looking at the mirror? Shouldn’t it be my image that should be reflected on it? But why, why does she look different? It’s like she’s from a different race?

The woman in the mirror had long, flowy blonde hair that went past her shoulders and she also had pure white skin. Furthermore, she had vibrant red eyes that seemed to be filled with the scorching heat of a blazing fire.

Yeah, that is not the face I know, I had.

I know who I am.

I am a proud Korean citizen.

Ever since I was young I had the dream and ambition to join a large corporation and become its president.

After years of hard work, I was finally taking the first step towards that goal and had become a full-time employee. I was supposed to start my first day at work tomorrow, so I remember going home early to prepare myself for a full day.

But what is this situation?

“Why, why are you acting like this, Princess Etricia?” A woman who caught me staring at the mirror with a stunned look on my face called out to me and referred to me as princess again.

This time, she called me Etricia, Etricia…why does that name sound so familiar? Where have I heard it before?

Wait a minute!

Do they mean, Etrcia Lete?

I recalled that I stumbled upon a web novel a few days ago.

I just got back from working all night when I saw that novel pop out on my recommendation list. I remembered buying it then…

What was the title of that novel again?

I know! It was a novel called; ‘I am a villain, so I will live my life as I please’.

Since I was so tired from work, I only read the first part of the novel and went to sleep immediately because it was already so late in the night. Therefore, I did not know the rest of the story.

However, as of this moment, the only thing that came to my mind was the ‘villain’. She was the female lead of the story. In it, she was just living her own life, and although it was a typical reverse harem novel, the male leads of the story were all crazy characters that it wasn’t so well received.

Regardless, are these people seriously telling me that Princess Etricia was pregnant?

I mean, that she already gave birth?

That’s absurd!

Still, does that matter right now?

What’s more important to me is figuring out my current situation.

Do these people think that I am the princess? Is that why they are all staring at me and calling me Princess Etricia?

I turned to one of the women around me and asked nervously, “Please look at me, did you just call me Princess Etricia?”

The woman gave me a puzzled look before she answered solemnly, “Yes, that’s right! Princess you must still feel disoriented since you’ve just given birth to a child. Your energy levels now are low, and you need some rest to replenish it.” Just then the lady turned to address one of her companions and spoke to her, “Hurry now, and call up the senator!”

What are these people saying?

“No, no. Everyone please stop! Don’t move from your place!”

Everyone remained frozen in their seats and stared at me intently, as if waiting for a command. I could tell from the way they were gazing at me that they were scared of what I was going to say. They even appeared like they were trembling and couldn’t breathe while looking at me.

Still, I had my own worries to settle. I needed to figure out my current predicament. So I voiced out my questions once again, “So, I’m Pr-Princess Etricia, you say?”

The women around me stared at me like I just said the most obvious thing in the world and started nodding and reassuring me that I was the princess.

I could feel a bitter laugh rising up my throat…

What kind of dog shit is this?

I pulled myself up in a sitting position and instantly felt pain. However, I tried to ignore this, and attempted to jump out of the bed.

But before I could do so, one of the ladies near me, handed me the child.

Suddenly, I found myself having a baby in my arms.

It seems I can’t run towards the door now that I was carrying the kid. I began to worry if I was going to drop her, “Ugh, Ha…this is hard…”

As I struggled to hold the girl in place, a thought crept up my mind, I felt like I had forgotten something important.

Wait a minute…

‘Bang!’

Before I could further dwell on my thoughts the doors opened.

A person who looked exactly like Etrica abruptly ran to my side and held one of my hands. As I looked at him closer I became more certain that this person was more than ninety-nine percent, related to the princess.

He suddenly started talking to me, “Etricia you’ve been through a lot…”

The man paused as if catching his breath before he added, “…But I want to ask you one thing, who is the father of the child?”

I stared at the strange man before me and the child I was cradling. Honestly, this man and this baby looked similar to each other, “… Are you the father of this child?”

Really, who’s this kid’s dad? I mean, is this child even mine?

The confusion I was feeling escalated to the point that I started to talk unknowingly, “I mean, I have a baby? Me? This beautiful child is mine? Really, isn’t this a sh—surprise?” I hurriedly corrected myself.

Gosh, I almost said a profane word in the presence of a child!

I had to be careful with my words, knowing that a baby was listening to me.

Just then my vision seemed to be filled with stars…

Is it night time?

Why am I suddenly seeing stars?

Wait, doesn’t one need to look at the night skies to see the stars?

So why am I suddenly seeing them right now?

Ah… that’s right, this is not my body.

Maybe this body, unbeknownst to me, is seeing the skies.

Haha...

“I am having a child… I am having a child…!” My head was spinning and was throbbing in pain.

I felt shaken and sensed my eyelids fluttering for a moment. Suddenly, the world around me turned pitch black.

I think I’m really going crazy, that’s right, I must already be crazy, because my current situation is just absurd!

There was nothing about this that made sense to me.

I let out a deep sigh as I paced the room restlessly.

As I was immersed in my own musings, my eyes caught sight of the figure on a nearby wall length mirror.

Long flowy blonde hair, and ruby red eyes stared back at me…

I really can’t believe this!

Every fiber of my soul was rejecting this reality.

Also.. I can’t possibly have a child!

But no matter how hard I tried to deny it and shake my head in protest, the results were still the same. I was stuck in this predicament, and it looked like my current situation wasn’t going to change any time soon.

Perhaps, I have died?

Did I die and reincarnate into a novel which I decided to stop reading?

If I must reincarnate at all, why did it have to be in a novel I dropped, and not a novel I was still reading? Whoever is controlling this world certainly has no love for me!

Yeah sure, you might think that I should be grateful because Etricia is a princess, but she’s also a villainess!

This novel was not even a good one.

First and foremost, the male leads are all crazy and are always running on rampage like rabid dogs. Furthermore, Etricia may have a pretty face, wealth, power and status, but other than those traits, her personality was really bad!

Ultimately, I have nothing good to say about the characters of this novel.

“I just had to possess one of the most hated villainess…” I whined and then banged my head against a wall.

‘Thud!’

Honestly, I wouldn’t be this worried if I was reborn as an extra or a random side character who had no real presence in the story’s plot. If that had happened I would probably say ‘thank you’, and what’s more, I would have danced happily if I was reborn as the heroine in this world.

But I wasn’t…

“I really can’t do this, this is impossible! Besides, I can’t raise that child…”

Every second I spent in this body felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown, and sometimes I just wanted to collapse at the weight of my thoughts. But, Etrcia’s body was surprisingly formidable. She was so ridiculously healthy that I couldn’t even faint despite the emotional turmoil I was experiencing.

Though I felt like my mind was broken, my body didn’t feel any pain at all.

I truly felt disconnected with this body.

Perhaps, it’s not just because Etricia had a sturdy body, but it may also be attributable to the fact that she had a doctor at her disposal.

Every hour, the doctor would come and visit her. He would then give her a strange medicine to help her relieve the pains she experienced from childbirth. Not only doctors, but servants were always at her beck and call, and they made sure that Etricia was always comfortable and did not need anything.

They always handled her carefully and with trepidation that I couldn’t help but notice the fear in their eyes each time they addressed me.

Every single one of them avoided catching my gaze.

Honestly, I didn’t think dealing with her child was hard since the nanny often tended to her.

I barely did anything to contribute to her child rearing. Every little problem with regards to the baby was taken care of by someone else. I guess my real struggle with this was just the fact that I can’t wrap my head around the idea of having a child and being her mother.

Besides, how can I be a mother to that kid when I don’t even know the most important thing about her?

I don’t know who her father is!

“Who the hell is that child’s father?” I exclaimed in exasperation.

Who did Princess Etricia even meet?

This is driving me crazy!

I ruffled my hair in frustration and groaned.

I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Perhaps, I’m sleep deprived? Maybe that’s why my thoughts were getting all muddled up?

Even though I barely tended to the baby, she cries a lot during night time.

Due to her wailing, I often woke up in the middle of the night, and stayed wide awake for a long time thereafter. Her incessant crying every night was the cause of the dark circles under my eyes. Honestly, this time of the day was the best time to sneak in some sleep and relax.

That’s right, maybe I should just get some rest and calm my mind.

I was also craving a glass of cold water.

However, I’ve been told that cold water isn’t good for my still boiling stomach, so I’ve been drinking hot tea to quench my thirst. Furthermore, I really hated the medicine they kept bringing to me, every single day. Still, I needed to take it because if I don’t, I would die from severe back pains.

I tried not to take it once, and I felt like my back was going to split in half. So I resorted to covering my nose and gulping it down in haste.

It was bitter but it was good for my body so I had to endure it.

At the end of the day, it was better to drink it than suffer body pains after all.

I began banging my head against the wall as I started to think about the child…

‘Thump, Thump, Thump!’

Oh my gosh! I’m not even married yet, but I have a kid… If there is a God, isn’t He being too cruel?

I closed my eyes and repeatedly banged my head against the wall. No matter how many times I racked my brain, I really can’t remember how Etricia got pregnant.

“Uh, Princess…?”

Like I said, I don’t even know who the child’s father is.

It’s not something I did! So really, how was I supposed to know?

Damn it, damn it…

‘Thump, Thump, Thump…’

“Pr-Princess. Please stop banging your head against the wall. If you need to release some tension, I’d rather you beat me instead!”

Startled by the sudden voice that spoke to me, I turned my head to the side. My eyes widened in surprise when I saw the image of a frightened woman staring at me worriedly. Has she always been here? Why didn’t I notice her at all?

Furthermore, what is she even doing here?

I tried to straighten my back, composed myself and tried to respond in a regal manner, “… Since when? I mean, how long were you standing there?”

She looked at me apologetically before responding, “I have been here since morning, your highness. The Duke instructed me to watch over you princess and to stay close to your side. I’ve been standing here all this time in silence, as if I didn’t exist, and I’ve seen you hurt yourself. So please, don’t do that anymore!”

As soon as she stated her pleas, she flung herself down to the ground and bowed so deep that her forehead was touching the floors.

It is clear to me that this person knew the princess well.

Based on what I’ve read, Etrica was a real villainess.

She was, in sum, a text-book villain. Admittedly, she wasn’t the worst, but a villain is still a villain, right?

I sighed and spoke in a calm voice, “I understand, get up. It’s more concerning for me if you keep kneeling.”

The young maid hastily tried to get up, “Ahhh! Ye-Yes. I apologize!”

As soon as she recovered her bearing, she hastily returned to the corner of the room and glued herself against the wall. No wonder I didn’t notice her, she managed to blend herself among the furniture.

I let out a breath and sat down on a nearby chair.

As I relaxed my feet, I tried to remember what else I knew about the original novel. I knew it had so many male protagonists that it was hard for me to single anyone out. All of them were possible suspects.

It was quickly becoming clear to me that if I continue to sit here with nothing but these recurring thoughts, it will lead me nowhere.

I needed help so I won’t run around in circles.

The most logical step for me to take was to ask the people who were constantly watching Princess Etricia. After all, wouldn’t they know her best and who she might have met?

She’s a princess after all, it will be rare for her to find a moment of privacy.

I cleared my throat and started to address the maid I had spoken to earlier, “It seems to me that my memory these days aren’t so good and I can’t seem to remember certain events in my life, so I was hoping you can tell me who were the men I’ve met with recently?”

I was hoping that the maid would remember what this body had forgotten.

“I apologize, your highness. That’s too much for me to remember…”

Is that so?

Seriously, why can’t this body even remember it? Even the maid knows nothing.

How can no one know anything?

I dismissed these thoughts and decided I needed to actively do some research, “Then get me a list of the people who have visited me. Discreetly.”

“Understood Princess. Just leave it to me!” The maid bowed with clenched fists and as she raised her head once more, I saw that her eyes were filled with determination.

“Yes, please do so, and bring it to me as soon as possible.”

At my words, the maid hastily curtsied and left the quarters to do my bidding.

I suppose she’s smart.

Soon after, there were knockings at my doors. I granted permission for the visitor to enter, and the nanny stepped inside carrying Etricia’s child.

She greeted me lightly and said, “Princess, I brought the baby.”

“Is it time already?” I glanced at the wall clock to confirm the time.

The princess’ free time was rather short.

It seems, I’m in for another session of child care…

I really can’t do this, even my nephew cries each time he sees me.

As my head filled with thoughts of my past life, a bitter smile crept at my lips.

However, as the nanny stepped closer towards me with the baby in her arms, I could feel my heart wavering and easing towards her.

When I saw her plump hands and fair skin, the disdainful thoughts I had towards the child started to disappear.

I stretched out my hands and prepared to receive her in my arms. The baby landed securely against my chest and as I held her in my arms, I couldn’t help but just stare at her intently. I leaned in closer to her and whispered, “Child, who the hell is your father?”

But the child did not answer.

Her lack of response was only natural, but for some reason, I had a strange feeling that her eyes were boring straight to my soul.

* * *

“Uwaaah, ah ah ah ah ah ah!”

“No! Not again!” I hurriedly rolled over to the side, stood up, and hugged the child.

She didn’t cry often, but sometimes when I was idle or banging my head against the wall in agony, the child would just burst into tears.

“Don’t cry, don’t cry…” I started cradling her gently in an attempt to soothe her tears.

I knew that I didn’t do anything that would make her cry, so why was she crying?

Even when I gave her a bottle of milk, she just spat it out. Furthermore, I checked, and her diaper was clean.

What should I do? I do not know why she is crying?

Just then someone knocked at my door and introduced herself, “Princess, this is Bell.”

“Come in! Come in quickly!” I shouted hastily.

Then, as if it never happened, the child stopped crying.

I stared down at her with a bewildered look on my face and flashed Bell a disappointed smile as she stepped in closer towards us.

“Hey, it’s over…she stopped crying…”

Even though the baby was perfectly silent, Bell still took her from me and began to gently comfort her.

Her tantrum is already over though…

As I watched Bell humor the baby, I couldn’t help but think it was strange that she always seemed to stop crying when other people were around.

I wonder if that behavior of hers was normal or if I should worry?

“Are you alright, Princess?”

“Does it look like I’m alright to you? I think I’m going to die.”

Bell interpreted my response to mean that the baby was giving me a hard time, so she nodded her head and answered, “I will take her to the nanny, later.”

“…Yeah, I’m begging you, please take her there. By the way, what’s going on?”

I sat down on the sofa and tilted my head back as I waited for her to tell me the news.

I recently found out through the grapevine that my father wouldn’t let me go outside, so I’ve been stuck in my room all this time.

Bell stared at me apprehensively before speaking, “I think the list you mentioned last time will take a little longer than expected for me to procure.” Bell informed me with a blank face.

Well, I’m not really surprised. Truth is, I kind of expected that.

Princess Etricia probably met with a lot of people secretly and not just one or two.

However, I was pulled out of my aimless thoughts, as the poor maid was still staring at me in fear and so I waved my hand dismissively and smiled at her, “It’s okay. After all, you are having a hard time gathering information for me because my father blocked everything from leaking out.”

“Oh, but there are some letters, your highness.”

My eyes widened in surprise, “… Letters?”

Are there letters sent to me?

It is highly unlikely that this letter was from a friend, Etricia has no friends after all, ah!

Could it be?

Could the letter come from some of the people she had secretly met before she gave birth?

I hurriedly opened one of the letters handed to me by Bell and read it.

The first letter was sent by someone named Damond.

Why did that name sound familiar?

I decided not to dwell more on this, and I opened the letter without a second thought…

[ Etricia, I heard the news.

It seems you have given birth to a child.

First of all, I think we should meet.

It would be difficult for us if the Imperial Family finds out, so I’ll end the war quickly and meet you secretly.

Damon Ivan ]

“What? Is he coming?” More than this, it was puzzling for me how he found out that Etricia had given birth. Knowing her father, he must have blocked out all the stories of Etricia giving birth, but this person knew that she did.

How was that possible?

I stared at the letter in confusion and dazedly opened the next one.

My face quickly hardened when I read its contents…

[ Princess Etricia,

How could I not have known about this? I couldn’t believe it when it ended like that.

A child… I heard that you have given birth.

First of all, I would like to see you as soon as possible. I want us to talk quietly.

Please, I beg you.

Hassel Droy ]

After reading his letter I began to speak absentmindedly, “Hassel… Droy?”

“Oh, he is the commander of the Imperial Knights. Did something happen?” Bell pitched in.

Ah, now I remember.

These were the names of the crazy male leads in this novel.

After hearing Bell’s words, I quickly composed myself and looked at the next one…

[ How can you have a child without telling me? I thought you didn’t know.

I need to meet you first. I guess I didn’t think of it merely as a night’s entertainment.

Kyrian Delfort ]

I sighed at the letters written on the parchment. Kyrian Delfort… When his name came out, I felt almost certain…

“It’s obvious to me even if I don’t see the last one.” I told myself as I unsealed the last envelope…

[… Princess, you gave birth to my child, right?

That’s the dragon’s scion, so I’ll go and find out for myself. Look forward to seeing me once again.

Louisa ]

Again, my prediction was correct…

Damon, the prince of a foreign country and a war fanatic…

Kyrian, a character who made a name for himself as a rare villain…

Hassel, the commander of the Imperial Knights and the heir to the dukedom…

And…

Louisa, a descendant of dragons and one who lived without emotions.

When I saw the names of these four people, my head started to throb.

I put my hands together and cradled my aching temples between them, while deep in thought.

Was this something the princess was really good at?

It’s like she had a hidden talent in enchanting these people?

Regardless, these guys were no ordinary men; they were powerful people!

Otherwise, how would they find out about the news that the princess had given birth?

It was something that the imperial family painstakingly tried to hide. And yet, here they were, four people who knew about it…

There was no need for me to get that list anymore.

Receiving these letters which were meant for Princess Etricia was enough proof for me to know who I needed to look into.

“Bell, I don’t think I’ll have a need for that list anymore.”

“Pardon me, your highness? Are you certain?”

I nodded my head, “There really is no need for that.”

Well, I’m glad that there was one less job for me to do.

Still, this is driving me crazy!

Even after reading those letters, I still can’t figure out who the father of the child is.

I began to recall that there were people who said that the princess’ reputation was plummeting down, perhaps they said that without knowing what she was busy with all this time.

Her name was already infamous for being a villain, and her status as one was as high as her fallen stature.

I took a deep breath as I glanced at the letters once again.

What should I do with them? Should I write back to them?

I realized that even before I met them, I was already nervous.

When I think back on how the author described these male leads, it was clear to me that they won’t be normal guys.

I was certain that they would be quite troublesome to deal with.

Bell, who was just standing quietly, suddenly exclaimed with awestruck eyes, “Oh my gosh! Is there anyone among them who will become the princess’s husband?!”

I gave her a quizzical look and asked, “What husband?”

Hahaha…

Bell’s talking nonsense.

Etricia just had a child, and her hands are already full with the baby, was this really the right time for her to find a husband?

When I didn’t say anything more, Bell started to speak again, “Still, the princess was very kind to the baby. You waited for her to be born. Now that you’ve seen her, what do you think? I for one think she’s so pretty. I have never seen such a beautiful baby in all my life!”

Her statement made me wonder, did Princess Etricia hold some affection for her child?

That’s rather surprising.

I didn’t expect the princess to be so maternal.

However, I, unlike her, had no love for the child.

I guess that’s a natural reaction from me, isn’t it? Because, she wasn’t my baby, and I never considered her to be.

Even though I technically gave birth to her, my heart was devoid of any warm feelings…

I reckon, anyone who would find themselves in a similar situation would also think the same.

Emboldened by Bell’s sincerity, I also told her what I thought, “But I’m not really the type to care for a child am I…”

However, the maid just stared at me with an unreadable expression on her face.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked.

She suddenly exclaimed, “You fell in love! That’s right, the Princess’ eyes were filled with love back then!”

Her sudden outburst just made me wonder more, “Then do you know who I am in love with?”

“That’s…”

.

“…I, neither do I. I’m sorry your highness.” The maid’s face looked sullen as she apologized.

I let out a sigh and replied, “No, it’s fine.”

I guess I should have expected this.

Etricia was infamous for her arrogance, and her pride wouldn’t let her trust people with sensitive information about her own affairs. Even if she did, she still probably wouldn’t tell them the whole story, as much as possible, she’d try so hard to conceal her tracks.

Still, knowing her behavior doesn’t tell me anything about the identity of her child’s father.

Even the emperor, the father of Princess Etricia, didn’t know and didn’t ask me any further. However, I reckon that regardless if I tell him or not who the child’s father is, he will find him himself and tear that man’s body to shreds… at least, that’s what he told me.

Honestly, I too, want to cut off Princess Etricia’s baby’s daddy.

No matter the situation, how can one be so thoughtless and not use birth control!? That guy enjoyed it, yet why do I have to deal with the consequences!? Gosh, those two really saddled me with this responsibility didn’t they?!

“Uwaaah!” Once again, Etricia’s baby started crying, and her tantrums this time was seemingly more intense than before!

The more that I think about this situation, the more I feel that it is unfair for me to have this child and not know who the father is.

Even Etricia’s father is unnerved by his daughter and granddaughter’s current state. I could sense his growing restlessness and anxiousness with each passing day. I too was growing desperate to find the child’s father, but my reason for it is quite simple…

I want to leave the baby with her father.

After all, Etricia didn’t have this baby on her own, even the absentee father had a responsibility to the child. Furthermore, even though I technically birthed the child, she was not my baby. I didn’t have any confidence in myself to take care of her, so wouldn’t it be better to leave the four-month old baby with her true father?

I am certain her real father would love and care for her more than I could or ever will. I really think it would be better for her daughter to be sent off to live with her father in order to receive some true familial love, especially since Etricia is no longer around.

Since I am currently in Princess Etricia’s body, perhaps she had died?

Well, whether or not the real princess was still alive, I think she had a good life. She had both power and wealth and according to Bell, Etricia claims she has no regrets and even seemed to love her baby.

But I am not her, and I wasn’t ready to have children.

I don’t even know how I got here!

When I opened my eyes, I was already in a different world, and what’s worse, I am pretty sure there wasn’t a novel that begins with the birth of a child. Was there?!

Regardless, I was here, and I don’t think I will get out of here any time soon, if at all!

“Oh, I’m going to die!” I exclaimed in frustration as Etricia’s daughter wailed louder.

I groaned as I rocked her cradle grudgingly. If I had known that taking care of a child was such a tough job, I would have been nicer to my parents.

Soon the baby’s tears turned into laughter.

I wonder what makes her laugh so much?

This child could only do two things; cry and laugh. Perhaps, I shouldn’t be too critical, after all, what more could a baby do?

At first, I thought she was a quiet child, but then she always ended up crying whenever I wasn’t around her. I started to move away, but as expected, she started crying once again.

Just then Bell, who was standing near me spoke, “Princess, I think she’s looking for her mother.”

“Yes… It seems so.” I replied with a loud sigh.

This kid really…

When I’m with her, she doesn’t cry at all, but when I wasn’t there she would start crying right away. It was because of this that I eventually ended up having to sleep with the child in my room. I glanced down at the child who was looking back at me with her brilliant red eyes.

I grabbed her from her cradle and began wrapping my arms around her in a gentle embrace.

“When I look at you, it seems like you really look a lot like me.” I told her softly.

The baby’s golden blonde hair and ruby eyes were so similar to Etricia’s. I know if I were to go anywhere, everyone would beat me down if I started telling them she wasn’t my child.

The good news is that the baby and I have spent the whole day together, so we’ve gotten to know each other a bit better. I daresay, we’ve grown reasonably close.

“Who is your father, huh?” I asked the baby slightly in frustration. Anyone would think that I look crazy asking a baby about her father. But there was no one else I could talk to, and I didn’t have anyone to complain with so I couldn’t help but mumble to myself.

As I continued to rock her in my arms, I couldn’t help but also start to feel drowsy.

Admittedly, I wasn’t sleeping well because these days I had a hard time falling asleep. Still, even though I got ****** into an unplanned parenthood, I couldn’t help but notice that the child was rather smart. She always behaved well and always seemed to stare at people attentively.

Just then a maid entered the room and announced, “Your highness, His majesty is looking for you.”

I stood up from my seat and prepared to hand the baby to Bell, but as I prepared myself to do so, I glanced down at her and she met my gaze with her bright smile and blinking eyes.

She did look kind of cute.

“If I let you go, will you cry again?” As expected, the baby did not respond but seemed to grab at my hair as I began handing her to Bell.

Seeing this, Bell told me, “Yes, I think it would be better for you, your highness, to take her with you. She likes the princess so much that she doesn’t want to let you go.”

“Hah… I told you, you shouldn’t touch me like this.” I whispered to ‘my’ daughter.

I couldn’t help but look at the child, “Well, do you want to go too?”

I knew there was no way she was going to answer this question, but still her next actions made me think she understood me. She stretched out her hands and wiggled them at me and I found myself taking her back into my arms.

I think she wants a hug.

As soon as I had her back in my embrace, I started heading out to see ‘my father’, the King. [E/N: Please remember to read these fan translations in moonlightnovels.com. If you want to support our team and for us to continue translating and editing this story, please remember to check this story out on our site only. If you are reading this from another site, please be aware that they are taking our team’s fan-translations. Other site/s posting our fantranslations is the reason we have decided to delay the posting of the chapters. Thank you!]

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“Father, did you call me?” I greeted the King as I stepped inside his office.

As soon as he heard my voice, he raised his head up and his red blazing eyes focused on me, “You…” However, the fire in his eyes mellowed down when he spotted the baby in my arms, “…Oh, my granddaughter is with you.”

His angry expression changed into a broad smile and his mood visibly brightened. I guess it was a good idea to bring the baby with me, otherwise, I am sure he will start nagging me to no end.

My father started approaching me excitedly with his arms slightly raised. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and handed the baby to him. Thereafter, he started cooing at the baby in a disgustingly sweet voice, “How can you be so pretty? You get prettier every day.”

As much as I do not want to interrupt this grandfather-granddaughter moment, I needed to know why I was summoned, “Why did you call for me?”

The King suddenly looked at me with serious eyes, and said, “You know, I can’t keep referring to my grandchild like this. I keep calling her ‘you’. You’ve got to give her a name.”

Honestly, I couldn’t give her a name because it didn’t feel right. I couldn’t just callously decide on it, since it was something the real Etricia should do. If I do it in her stead, it would feel as though I am taking that privilege from her.

I know I had doubts that I will be able to get back to my world, but I still haven’t completely given up hope that one day I will. Therefore, I have been delaying naming the child all this time.

“How about…Rustina?” The King suggested and I gave him a confused look.

“…Why Rustina?”

“Because it is a combination of Angel and Gratia (love).”

So… Angel love?

I began to wonder if that really was a good name for her?

Judging by the kid’s fair white skin and blonde hair that looked like golden threads spun by angels themselves, then I guess she does look like she came down from heaven.

It’s not a bad name.

As if she was voicing her approval the baby started to mumble, “Baaahhh…”

“You seem to like it.” Rustina grinned at my father’s words. Seeing my father and child interact together was actually pretty cool.

Still, even though Rustina always placated the King’s temper towards Etricia, I knew that I needed to work hard myself and earn his good graces.

I cleared my throat and asked apprehensively, “Are you angry with me? Because as soon as I stepped inside you started glaring at me.”

My father gave me a look of confusion that slowly faded into a contemplative look, “Hmm… that’s right, I am angry at you. But you will understand how I feel if you were in my position.”

He spoke solemnly, but his hand did not stay still for a moment. His gesticulations also became bigger with each passing second. All the while Rustina giggled as she also moved with my father’s animated swaying.

She looked delighted by his antics.

“Do you still not know who the child’s father is?” I asked.

“Hah! That’s exactly why I’m holding you here Etricia… they said there is a way to find out.”

“Really?”

This was the best news I have heard!

I did not dare hide my joy, and gleefully smiled.

However, I noticed that Rustina’s smiling face contorted and her expression visibly darkened. I wonder if she was about to cry? I looked at my daughter with anxious eyes, and just as I predicted, she burst into tears.

“Ugh, uwaaaaaah!”

“Don’t cry, peek-a-boo. Look at your grandpa’s face, isn’t he handsome?” I told her as I began making faces and pointing at her to make her look at the King. Seeing as it seemed like she wasn’t going to stop crying anytime soon, I went over to my father’s side and took her from him.

I began bouncing her lightly in my arms and asked the King, “…But, what does keeping me here have anything to do with finding Rustina’s dad?”

Rustina was still crying so badly that I tried to calm her down by patting her on the back, but to no avail.

“Why are you suddenly complaining about being confined in the palace? Is something the matter?”

I could sense the tension between me and my father building again. Due to our unanswered question, we couldn’t help but feel frustrated with each other whenever we talk. To clear the air between us I focused on running around the room and comforting the still crying child.

“So… what is the method you were talking about that will help us find out who Rustina’s father is?” Because Rustina was still heavily wailing, I figured that I needed to end this conversation soon and bring her back to my room. Therefore, I needed to hear that information quickly.

On the other hand, I noticed that my father also looked equally impatient with me and walked over towards where I was standing. He gave a quick glance at Rustina and told me, “That kid’s throat is going to hurt, she needs to stop crying before her vocal chords collapse.”

I gave him an exasperated look and replied, “Then please tell me quickly what it is because I am getting tired too.”

I really don’t understand why Rustina is acting this way. I thought she calmed down a bit after we’ve been together all day. I also made sure that she took her meals and changed her diapers so I really am perplexed as to why she’s behaving this erratically.

I turned my attention back to my father and tried to ignore Rustina’s discontented screams, “You said there was only one way, but that…”

“Uwaaaaaah!”

Before my father could answer, Rustina raised her voice even louder and wept. Realizing that her crying was just going to grow worse, I decided to cut this conversation short, “Father, I’ll hear about that later. I guess I’ll have to go to my room and comfort her first.”

Perhaps my child was getting sleepy, right?

So I hurriedly left the office and headed back to my room.

As we got further from the King’s office I noticed that the tears on Rustina’s face tickled down until she completely stopped crying. I looked down at her suspiciously while she stared back at me innocently; as if nothing had happened.

As I looked into Rustina’s eyes, I found myself smiling involuntarily.

You really are a weird baby, aren’t you?

“Aren’t you curious about your father too? It would be better for you to have a father.” I told her.

That’s right, she needed her real dad because I won’t be able to give her my heart completely.

I can’t love her…I can’t even figure out what she wants when she cries!

How can I be her mother if I’m like this?

“Ha…” A sigh escaped my lips.

Yes, what do I know? It’s a really strange situation.

“I will definitely find your dad.” I told her.

However, my words seemed to have only upset her more, “Ugh, ahhh.”

“Rustina?”

Didn’t she just react to the word ‘dad’? I tilted my head at her. It is obvious to me now that she reacted violently against hearing that word.

But isn’t it crazy to think that babies will be able to do that, right?

I decided to test her once more and said out loud, “…Dad?”

She started hiccupping, “Eubb.”

“Rustina, your father?”

“Oh, boo boo! Uhhh.”

Oh no…She looks like she’s about to cry…

Okay one last time, I took a deep breath and spat out the words with the same intensity the King had earlier when he spoke to me, “I will definitely find your father…?”

“Uwaaaaah!”

Oh my gosh, is it possible? Do you not want us to look for your dad?

I looked at Rustina who was in my arms with a look of disbelief. As we were near my chambers, the maids started rushing out in the hallways as they heard her cries reverberating through the walls.