The following is Renata Carissa's experience, a daughter of a Commander in the National Armed Forces who was also a beautiful psychiatrist. A self-sufficient woman who never knew that her husband──Jeffrey Annefall, worked as a National Intelligence agent.

The two had been married for 25 years. However, Renata only discovered Jeffrey's occupation as a spy after her beloved husband passed away. She loved this man dearly.

Indeed, it was her folly not to notice that Jeffrey often left for extended periods, due to work far from home. And this was ample proof of the shocking truth about Jeffrey's actual identity.

Renata initially knew Jeffrey as a bodyguard who worked for her cousin's husband. Then they fell sweetly in love and married. They had a son who was incredibly handsome, named Radion Isireilov.

Tears flowed abundantly as Renata read Jeffrey's letters of confession, along with her remorse for deceiving her all this time. She realized that her husband was a man greater than she ever imagined. The story of Jeffrey's life filled her with awe.

Renata reflected on what kind of life her husband had led. Still, Jeffrey had endured at her side.

After her cherished husband's passing, Renata also died from a severe illness.

"I wish I could ask him, why did I never know?"

"Will I ever see my Jeffrey again?"

That was Renata's last hope.

"Radion, forgive Mama for leaving you to follow your father."

Renata saw her son crying inconsolably before she drifted into darkness, taking her last breath.

* * *

Slowly, her fingers moved, attempting to open her eyes. A pair of brown irises began to clear, focusing on the first thing they saw.

The room was all white, and the smell of medicine was potent.

"Ugh..." she moaned with a throbbing headache.

Renata tried to think hard. Wasn't she supposed to be dead? Then why did she still feel pain?

"Is this the afterlife?" Renata murmured to herself.

"It would be better if you went to the afterlife. Why does a burden on the family like you still live?" someone said cynically.

Renata turned to the voice next to her bed.

Defined facial lines, piercing green eyes, thin lips, a straight nose, joined eyebrows, and light brown-blonde hair.

"Green eyes? Am I in Europe?"

The handsome man looked at her with increasing intensity, "Stop staring at me, Wh*re!"

Renata abruptly sat up on the bed, ignoring her throbbing head, and glared angrily at the man.

"Who is this man? How dare he insult me with such a word!"

The handsome man was taken aback by Renata's fierce gaze. It seemed like the first time he had seen such a look from this woman.

"Who are you? Have you never experienced school that you insult so freely?"

The man was even more stunned. He didn't expect that Renata would dare to raise her voice at him, especially without recognizing him.

"Are you joking, Angelica Renata Tan?"

Renata's heart raced at hearing that strangely familiar name.

"Why am I being called that name?"

"I──"

Just as she wanted to deny that it wasn't her name, Renata was interrupted by a door slamming open.

"Angel!" a middle-aged man Renata didn't recognize exclaimed, "How could you cause Sanaya harm! Father told you not to ruin Sanaya and Alvaro's marriage!"

Renata was silent, utterly confused by the bizarre situation.

Angel, Sanaya, Alvaro. Those names struck a chord.

"Weren't those characters from a novel I received from one of my patients in the past?"

Renata was bewildered.

"Enough, Father. It's not Angel's fault, she didn't do it intentionally," said a woman wrapped in a head bandage.

"She tried to hit you, Sanaya! Don't defend her constantly!" a middle-aged woman exclaimed.

"But, Mother──"

"Wait!" Renata interrupted the conversation.

Everyone turned to look at her.

"Who are you all? My name is not Angel, you must be mistaken," she said.

"Angel, do you... have amnesia?" a man who had been silent spoke without expression.

However, Renata didn't recognize this handsome man either.

"Pfft, quite possibly she's acting," the first man Renata saw scoffed.

"You all might as well leave, my sister doesn't need any of you worsening her condition!" the unexpressive man said sternly.

"But, Big Brother Zayn, I'm also worried about Angel," said Sanaya tearfully.

"Darling, you're too kind to this schemer. No wonder Angel always takes advantage of your goodness," said the green-eyed man as he embraced Sanaya's shoulders.

"Alvaro, Sob..."

Sanaya cried, for reasons unknown.

"Why all this drama over being a woman," Renata blurted without thinking.

"What did you say?" Alvaro glared sharply at Renata.

"Ah, nothing," Renata replied calmly.

Alvaro was puzzled by the calm demeanor of the girl sitting on the hospital bed. Normally, she was always attention-seeking and acted like a wh*re. She even stooped to be a homewrecker just to attract the attention of him, who was now married to Sanaya.

'Could she really have amnesia?' Alvaro wondered.

"All right, take care of this worthless child, Zayn. Father can't stand to look at this jinx any longer," the middle-aged man──Rendra, spoke bitterly, wounding the heart.

And for some reason, Renata's heart ached upon hearing those words. It felt as if something pinched at her heart at those utterances.

"Father, watch your words. Regardless, Angel is still your daughter," Zayn looked stern, disliking his father's remarks.

"But Angel intended to kill Sanaya. Even though they aren't blood-related, Angel shouldn't have done it, sob..." the middle-aged woman──Santy, tearfully lamented, "Though I've always loved Angel like my own daughter, she..."

"Shh, don't do this, let's get out of here," Rendra told Santy, his wife.

The older couple left, followed by Alvaro who aided Sanaya, pushing her IV stand.

Only Renata and Zayn remained.

Renata sat dumbfounded. Who here was truly insane? Herself or these people calling her Angel? Or had she not actually died?

"Where is Radion?" Renata suddenly asked.

Yes, Renata needed to find Radion, her son.

"Who is Radion? Why are you looking for him, Angel?" Zayn asked back, furrowing his brow.

Renata looked angrily at Zayn; he still insisted on calling her Angel.

"Hey, young man! My name is Renata, not Angel. Radion is my son!" she shouted emphatically.

Where exactly was Renata right now?

To Be Continued

"Is this for me?" asked Renata to a woman seated before her.

She received a novel with a gray cover, titled SUARA HATI SANAYA.

"Yes, Doctor Renata. I'm giving you my work as a token of gratitude. It's the first print edition."

Renata appeared delighted, "Thank you."

Indeed, her patient had just recovered from a long-lasting psychological ailment. Renata actually didn't require any gifts, as the recovery of her patient was already a source of great joy.

Once her patient left, Renata began reading the novel. With no more consultation schedules for the day, she had some free time to indulge. True to her nature, Renata enjoyed reading novels, sometimes inviting Jefra to accompany her to the bookstore for a new read.

Speaking of Jefra, thoughts of her husband made her yearn for him. Her handsome man had been away for a week due to work out of town.

"Perhaps reading this novel will lessen my longing for Jefra," Renata mused to herself.

She focused intently on the novel, her eyes and thoughts absorbed by the thick tome, savoring every page.

The story was about a woman named Sanaya who married a man named Alvaro following a one-night stand incident. Sanaya, in a drunken state on her birthday, slept with Angel's boyfriend—her step-sister. Alvaro, coming from a decent family, did not shirk from responsibility and unilaterally ended things with Angel.

Some say love comes with familiarity. Witing tresno jalaran soko kulino.

Initially strangers, Sanaya and Alvaro's frequent encounters blossomed into a new affection. Despite their accidental marriage, they fell in love over time.

"The universe sometimes jokes, bringing people together without giving a reason," Renata whispered with a self-amused smile.

She turned another page of the novel. Her expression soured.

The conflict emerged. Angel, refusing to accept Sanaya's claim over Alvaro, began plotting slyly to destroy their relationship. From running Sanaya over with a car, paying someone to assault her, to kidnap attempts and luring Alvaro with seductive schemes.

"The shameless home-wrecker. If only there were a law against such a person. Angel would be indicted first."

Renata became thoroughly angered by the villainous character. Her frustration stemmed from a personal past altercation with a home-wrecker.

"But why must her name be so similar to mine? Angelica Renata Tan," Renata complained with a pout. A petition to her former patient seemed necessary, a petition to change the antagonist's name.

The novel unfolded with Angel's every attempt to disrupt Sanaya and Alvaro's relationship ultimately failing. The antagonist's fate was to die by suicide, unable to cope with the pressure, a truly miserable and tragic end.

"Pitiful, really. But it's her own fault for being a home-wrecker."

*Knock... Knock*...

The sound of knocking on the door of her practice disturbed Renata's reading focus.

"Who could it be now? Such a disturbance," Renata grumbled in annoyance.

The elegant woman rose from her proud chair, legs sheathed in black pumps moving towards the door. She reached out to twist the handle and open it.

Renata gasped at the sight of the white tulip bouquet greeting her first—so beautiful and fragrant.

Her smile bloomed instantly. Oh, Renata had a feeling about who was behind the tulip arrangement.

The person hidden behind the white tulips gradually came into view as Renata took the flowers.

"Je..."

**

"...fra."

Renata awoke from her sleep, tears dropping from her eyes. She missed him so much.

It was all a dream.

Why hadn't they met again? Renata had hoped his death would reunite them.

Yes, Renata realized that now.

She had entered the novel 'Suara Hati Sanaya.' Worse, she had become the antagonist she once despised.

"It would be better if I left for the afterlife."

"Don't say such things."

Renata glanced over at Zayn driving next to her. They were in a car, on their way home with Zayn, to the Tan family residence.

Zayn Frederic Tan. Elder brother to the antagonist, CEO of Tan Group, the only person in the family not to scorn Angel. Clearly, Renata saw Zayn as a potential ally. After all, his power was significant in the Tan family that viewed him as a burden.

For now, Renata's approach was to show kindness to Zayn.

"Losing memories isn't the end of the world. At least this way you can forget Alvaro and live without clinging to the unattainable," Zayn added.

"Yes, Brother."

Zayn was mildly surprised to hear his sister call him that; she'd never used such a term before.

"Also, I've lost interest in Alvaro."

Zayn glanced at his sibling peering out the car window—the slight curl at the edge of his lips revealing a thin smile. His original worry shifted to relief with his sister's changed attitude. The doctor had mentioned her amnesia, explaining the lost memories of random events. No wonder she was denying her name, even mistaking someone as her son.

Meanwhile, Renata admired the sunset, the lined-up cars, occasional vehicular honks, and the bustling people on the sidewalks. The novel's world was not so different from reality after all.

Renata was absorbed in thought. Five days had passed since her spirit was trapped in the novel. With each day came more questions, her throat seemingly holding back the flood, her mind mired in convoluted thoughts. The more she pondered, the less sense it made. Renata hoped sleep would free her from this strange dream. Yet, she remained in the antagonist's body.

Why did she, meant to have died, enter the novel?

What was she to do now? Follow the plot towards a tragic death, or strive to change fate for a happier life?

Renata caught her reflection in the car door window. Worse still, Angel bore an uncanny resemblance to her own twenty-year-old self. It wasn't just the name, but the face too. Was the novelist purposely inspired by her?

Renata sighed deeply.

"What's wrong, Angel?" Zayn inquired, conscious of Renata's deep exhale.

Renata turned her gaze to Zayn, "From now on, you should call me Renata."

"Why the sudden wish to be called by your middle name?" asked a baffled Zayn.

"I intend to improve my life further. Starting with leaving behind past memories that only serve to wound me. The same goes for my desire to be called Renata."

Resolved, Renata intended to embrace her life within the novel. Perhaps this was her destiny, one she was bound to confront.

Zayn reached out to fondly tousle his sister's hair, "My sister has finally learned to think maturely. Very well, I shall call you Renata."

For a moment, Renata was stunned. Never having felt the affection of a brother, she finally experienced it.

Maybe living in a novel wasn't so bad after all. A smile graced her pink lips.

With this, Renata was determined to defy the fate of the antagonist. Certainly, she refused to suffer and die in despair.

To Be Continued

Instill kindness within oneself, erase the persistent memories, for this morning we must strive to continuously better ourselves.

"Good morning, deceitful world!" Renata exclaimed as she flung open her bedroom balcony window.

The mother of one. Correction. The young girl at the ripe age of twenty appeared quite spirited this morning.

Although Renata found it hard to believe, she was experiencing it firsthand—her soul had transferred into the body of an antagonistic character in a novel.

What Renata understood was that previously, Angel had been in a car accident while attempting to run over Sanaya, blinded by a fury fueled by jealousy.

Angel was deeply in love with Alvaro. They had been together for four years and were close to getting engaged. But Sanaya had brazenly taken Alvaro away from her. Naturally, Angel was enraged. To be fair, Sanaya wasn’t exactly innocent either. However, as the protagonist of the story, everyone was sure to sympathize more with the gentle and loving woman.

Angel’s fate was truly sorrowful, unrecognized by her own father, who always regarded her as a bringer of misfortune. This began when Angel was five, her mother died saving her from an oncoming truck. Rendra, who loved his wife deeply, perpetually blamed Angel for the tragedy. This resentment towards his own daughter continued to grow. Rendra even favored Sanaya, who was not his biological child.

After years of wallowing in grief over his wife's death, Rendra had remarried a widow with a child—Sanaya’s mother. Initially, Angel was elated at the prospect of a new mother, thinking the arrival of Santy and Sanaya would help her father accept his wife's death and love her. But Sanaya ended up taking everything from Angel—the affection of her father and her lover.

No wonder Angel harbored such hatred for Sanaya, to the point where the girl considered ending her life, unable to bear the pressure and loathing from those around her.

At heart, Angel was a fragile girl, swayed by jealousy and envy.

Why did Renata know this? Because fragments of Angel’s memories kept surfacing in her mind, and of course, she was familiar with the novel’s plot.

"Angel, your life was so burdensome. I regret ever hating you," Renata mused, gazing at the clouds drifting by.

"I, Renata Carissa, vow to mend your troubled fate, because you and I both deserve happiness," Renata murmured as if conversing with Angel.

Even if it meant altering the fixed course of the novel, Renata was determined to keep that promise to herself and to Angel.

Once she fulfilled her promise, Renata hoped to pass away peacefully and reunite with her Jefra, who surely awaited her in heaven.

Renata then got up to prepare for her new life as Angelica Renata Tan.

"First, I need to shed this homewrecker image attributed to me."

*Knock... Knock*...

The sound of knocking paused Renata's steps toward the bathroom. She abandoned her original intention, moving towards the door instead. She then opened the white-painted door.

*Cklek*

The door swung open after Renata turned the handle.

"Zayn?"

Zayn, the one responsible for the knocking, stood before Renata, who gazed at the well-dressed man in an expensive suit with confusion.

"Your phone, Renata," Zayn said, extending a brand-new smartphone, "I've fixed it because it was damaged in the accident."

Gratefully, Renata accepted the offered device. She had almost forgotten the importance of a mobile phone, no matter the world. It would facilitate Renata’s search for information about Angel’s close associates and other useful data.

"Thank you, Zayn," Renata said with a sweet smile.

Zayn returned the gesture with a faint smile. "I'm glad to see you smiling more often lately."

"Because smiling is a form of worship!" Angel exclaimed enthusiastically.

"Fortunately."

"Hmm?" Renata was puzzled by Zayn's comment.

What's fortunate?

"Nothing," Zayn ruffled Renata's hair. He was simply grateful for the joviality his sister now showed.

"You always like to mess up my hair," Renata grumbled, pouting.

Zayn couldn't contain his laughter at Renata's comically sulky expression. The ice, it seemed, was finally thawing.

With several blinks, Renata regarded him, "Wow, Zayn, you are also handsome when you laugh," she candidly remarked.

"Ehmn," Zayn cleared his throat to stop his laughter, his face flushing slightly, "Well, you should go shower and get ready. Don't you have work?"

Renata gently smacked her forehead, "Oh no, I almost forgot! I could be late if I don't hurry!" She exclaimed amusingly.

Zayn chuckled softly at her antics.

Elsewhere, just around the corner near the staircase and not far from the siblings' conversation, someone was watching with disfavor and envy. Her hands clenched so tightly her knuckles whitened.

"Angel," she hissed.

**

After her brief exchange with Zayn, Renata quickly proceeded to her delayed bathing ritual.

She was due to return to work today after taking some days off due to the accident.

Even though she was just twenty, instead of pursuing higher education, she had chosen to work right away. Renata couldn't comprehend Angel's mindset of prioritizing love over education and her future.

Angel worked at the family company of Alvaro, Tj Corp. The reason was, of course, to be near Alvaro. Although she had sacrificed a great deal for a man who sadly was already married, and despite being deemed useless by her father, Angel was intelligent. Proof was in her ability to easily secure an Admin job at the top company by leveraging her perfect high school diploma.

"Should I just resign? I couldn't care less about chasing Alvaro like Angel did. I'll resign and go back to college."

That seemed like the best choice. Renata planned to pursue a medical degree specializing in mental health. She intended to become a Psychiatrist, like in her previous life.

Renata opened her wardrobe, shocked to find clothes that were revealing and bordering on scanty.

Oh, Renata had forgotten Angel’s preference for wearing provocative dresses and heavy makeup. The thought of dressing as a temptress made her shudder.

She resolved to discard Angel's revealing outfits and replace them with comfortable clothes of her own choosing.

Then Renata rifled through the wardrobe, settling on a conservative outfit—a white blouse paired with a cream-colored suit and mini skirt. After getting dressed, she applied light makeup to her pale, cheese-like complexion and finished with a stroke of pink lipstick over her full lips. Her black hair was tied back in a half-up style, adding a touch of sweetness.

Pleased with her reflection in the mirror, the girl smiled at herself contentedly.

Feeling ready in her new attire, Renata stepped out of her room and headed towards the dining room.

"Let's see how they react to my transformation," Renata mused with a sly smile.

Her long legs carried her into the dining room where five people were seated quietly at the table.

"Good Morning," greeted Renata.

The five people were astounded by Renata’s appearance, so transformed she barely seemed the same person. Indeed, they hardly recognized her.

'Why has Angel turned so beautiful?'

Those were the thoughts that crossed the minds of Zayn, Alvaro, Rendra, Santy, and Sanaya.

To Be Continued