" ZAHBAZERIN!"the voice echoing through out the kitchen to the front door. "ZARA be it or not came and eat your breakfast in 5 minutes"

...you all must be wandering who is zahba or zara, well thats me. this morning I woke up late and my mom was scolding me....

...she isn't a strict women but rather easy going or atlest for me. she is 38 in the coming month . she is been getting irritated for the past few day, since my little brother is annoying her a lot. my mom doesn't go for a specific job. to say you the truth she got an unending work at home itself. if she gone to work she is better good as dead. my little brother is 3 years old currently but he still drink milk in feeding bottle. funny right! I still got laughter over this joke but can't deny the truth...

now let me talk about myself.

..."zahbazerin" this is what my parents named me when I was born, somehow I hate this name since "z" is a letter that can't write in calligraphy method easily. and I'm not really good at calligraphy either...

so now everyone is calling me zara, I only said my friend to call me like that but somehow it spread like a wildfire.

and the fact is I was never been good at anything, A huge loser to call, but I'm a nice lier and I could steal things somehow luck has always been a part of my stealing life. I like to read mangas, eat and sleep also go wherever there is good food. I really want to be a celebrity or something that is famous. I'm girl and a 10th grader in fact somehow I always wander *****how****the hell did I reach 10TH. last year I end up failing and almost repeat 9th one more year. but somehow I cover all lessons and got a pass.

this year my parents send me to tuition. actually she is a distant relative of mine. my great grandmothers sister's daughter. she was the No.1 student at her times but my great aunt married her to a man even without a job. but I guess he isn't not only jobless but also lack in the area of having children. married for more than 27 years yet no child. well her sister got three children already and one of them is only a mount or 2 older than me.

this year I'm almost 17 and my 10th final is coming and I don't know what my future hold or how to pass my exams......

...I got no friends in my school.no one really like me since they think I'm weird ....

^^^when I was in my 2nd grade I got a friend no more like a enemy. she would usually frame me with silly thing. all other students around me belived her and everyone exclude me from there group.^^^

...later, the next year I changed my school and she gone to a different school. but no one from this school also doesn't want to be my friend....

...while growing up I changed two or three times school again. but I guess being grown without friend made me grow the same way ....

The students in my new school was someone who want me to be their dog. well for quite a time I was like their dog and I started to change, maybe a

CONTINUE.......

{your inner heart is something that i see everyday, my friend}

As growing up in such a terrible situation, i started lie. not to other but myself. finding excuses, pretend whatever happens got nothing to do with me.

being alone in a room playing with my computer was the best thing I like.

studying, no I hate it to the core. it make me feel sick or drowsy everytime I tried to study. the only place I like in the entire school was the library. since I'm 10th I got no library period. so o usually skip my lunch and free periods to go over there.

life has never been easy for me. suddenly my dad lost his job. he decided to stay with us for quite a long period of time and join his company. he was working court and took his company as a part time work. now that he is here and my 10th exam which I'm gone fail is near. I started to think jumping from a build or cutting my nerve was the best way to commit suicide. well nevermind!

there is week for my 10th final exam to start. I know once the exam end, it means my freedom also comes to face ant ending.

I could see my parents disappointed face and shouting at me endlessly. I even could see my parents grounding me from my little lovely mobile baby.i hate to part with it.

I was actually looking for lie that could save me off.but no I couldn't find any excuse to use once I failed my exam.

since I got no escape i decided to enjoy my last 2 weeks with my lovely mobile. like I said manga and novel is my favorite.

nowadays father and daughter cliche mangas are pretty famous and I was also like it at beginning but it didn't take much longer see me getting tired of it.

the only topic that last forever with me is fantasy stories or bl {boys love or gay romance}. especially gay romance since I like imagining two guys kissing and doing unspokenable things. it was weird at first but I guess u got used to it. since I'm a weirdo. if I could have a wish than I'm looking forward to meet two guys kissing each other.

you might think, why i didn't wish for friend, because I want a friend volunteerly become my beastie, not because of some annoying wish.

somehow by day passing my fear of exam also started. my dad and mom is forcing me to concentrate in study way too much.

tomorrow is my first exam and also it is maths. what I heard from my mom in the morning itself was. "better score well, or even i can't save you from your dad" i atr my bread and slight nodded. since eating was the last thing I could do.

as nervous as I am. I was never giving up my favorite mangas also I'm afraid "I'm the most coolest girl in this world"

CONTINUE........

Sunday.....

...as today is Sunday and tomorrow is Monday.just like that today is my freedom and tomorrow is my exam....

A while ago my parents decided to goto my father's beastie daughter's marriage. at first they promised me, that they will take me with them. and at the last moment they changed their mind.

but to my fortunate my brother are also not taken to the marriage. they have to goto their religion class. "well, that's good" I mumble myself when I heard them saying this.

"all alone, how wonderful" my parents gone to marriage and my brothers has class. all alone with my youngest brother at home.at first the decided to take him with them but later changed their mind and let me have a company.

"if you wouldn't accept, than I will trade something with you" an old lady with scraped clothes. her skin was black and there are injuries in her hand. infront of my house there was a small bakery, since it was Sunday it was closed. but while returning i saw this old lady laying in the roadside. there was a lot of people ignoring her and walking beside her body.

I'm not a kindhearted person but somehow she look similar to my grandmother who has gone to "SHARJAH" for a month. maybe it was the pity that taken from the similarities they had.

so to present....

"who are you" I asked

"just a roadside begger" she replied

"I could see that" i said

"would you help me" she said with a gloomy face "daughter is not doing well, I want almost 2000 to treat her" she said in a sad tone, where I couldn't reject. since I took her, I have long decided to help. I immediately stand up and took my piggy bank. it was filled with my saving for years. taking it carefully I decided to break it but my heart didn't allow me to. so I decided to give the piggybank itself. "take it, it is filled with my savings" i said politely. "is this where you save money" she blured out her thoughts seeing my piggybank. "kind off" I replied.

"than I couldn't take it for free" she said in a low pitch voice. "huh" I looked at her with questionable face like do you have anything to return she took her tiny side bag and brought a box outside of it.

The box look kind of old."this is something we passed down for generations, it was said our guardian was not a normal people" she said.

she open the box and there was triangle shaped stone with a eyes on it. it was polished in golden color with unique letters written in it.

For a moment I felt like my eyes were plucked outside. looking at it for a while. "I don't think it was something precious" I thought, I decided to take the triangle pendent by trading my piggybank. in reality I took it for helping that women. "Thank you" the old women said politely and started to walk away.

later at night I started to study again. it was already 8 at night. mom and dad has long returned and my brothers also.

Continue........