sarah: mom plz, I don't wanna go there(I tell her)

mom: sarah honey it's good for you, it's been years since you last saw them. I think you should go. (she's gonna force me now and I know it)

sarah: but... (I know why she's saying that... It's been weeks since I saw HIM with that....)

mom: there are no buts, your going and thats final. (and there you ago... she's been telling me to go for since then and it's soo frustrating)

sarah: fine (I roll my eyes in defeat)

mom: that's my baby, I'll book your ticket for tomorrow. (she says smiling) and now go to your room, you better start packing.

sarah: k... (I really don't wanna go there, to dad and my Lil kookie. I miss them both, alot. But its Been years they don't talk to us anymore. I still don't know why).

Mom and Dad got divorced when I was just a kid and kookie was really small. Our family was living happily but then dad finded another woman and just then.... things changed, kookie wanted to live with dad, so then I left with mom, I didn't liked the idea of her living alone. We use to visit each other but then mom shifted us to America, me and kookie we used to talk on the phone... but then he stoped and...... from then we didn't talked to each other.

sarah: (I start packing my cloths, even though I don't want to go but I feel exited. I miss kookie, alot. I smile rembering his face when he saw a cat walking like him.)

mom: sarah honey, jasmine is here. (she yells from down stairs)

sarah: what? really! (I rush towards the door,then to the kitchen becacuz I know that's where she'll be, my best-friend)

jasmine: hey babes ( she says while drinking something)

sarah: I'm so glad to see you here... but why are you here? (I ask her, she Usally dosent come at this time)

jasmine: duh..! I missed you (she says hugging me. Oh... I haven't seen her oor anyone for weeks so I guess that's why she's here).

sarah: soo...whats up? (I ask as i take the bowl of salad from the fridge)

jasmine: (she looks around making sure mom's not here) what's up? (she repeats my words in ad mocking way) seriously sarah?!

sarah: umm... yea? (im a bit confused, why is she mad).

jasmine: sarah mark cheated on you... you did nothing, and now your leaving.... acting like a coward!!! (She screams at the top of her voice)

sarah: (oh, so that's why she's mad at me, me... leaving her) it's not my decision to make, mom's been forcing me alot for soo many weeks. soo at last I gave up.

jasmine: and what about me, dance practice,school, that bitch and... mark. (she's worried about me and I can see that because her eyes sparkle form tears)

sarah: (my heart hurts hearing his name)I talked to him. (I tell her but this but I don't want to continue the full story)

jasmine: when?

sarah: after that day (it hurts, it hurts so much rembering all the things we did together) I went to his house, asked him why did he did that. (I feel my eyes tearing up) he said that I... I... I can't give him what he wants (now I can't even speak) he... He... (I'm sobbing) said that I'm not what he thinks i am... (she rushes to me, hugging me tightly)

jasmine: it's alright... forget about him... try to move on... I know things will get hard for you... and that ***** will regret for what he did to you... but things will get better. (she tires her best to make my tears stop)

sarah: w-why.... w-why me? (I'm crying like a baby, but I feel safe when she does that to me, hugging me, so that I can let it all out, so that I can feel better again)

Jaz been my best friend since we got here, she's always been by my side, she acts like my Lil sister and sometimes like my mom. Mark me and jaz we've been close to each other. I grew feelings for him, dont know when but then I told him, about my feelings that I liked him. We loved each other soo much but he loves me not in that way.

sarah: He knows I have athazagoraphobia, then why did he do that (I say leaving her, and wiping the tears away).

jasmine: sarah some people are not worth of our love. And I think. He will regret it afterwards... You'll see (she winks at me).

sarah: I don't want to see him anymore... (I hate him).

jasmine: yeah... now I think it's really better if you do leave. cuz seeing you like this makes me wanna feel like kicking his weak part 😉.

we boht start laughing like idiots,  I know it's not that funny but we still laugh like it's something really big.

sarah: wanna help me with my packing? (I offer)

jasmine: I'd love that.

sarah: (I'll never fall in love, all this pain makes me hate love)

jasmine: sarah stop acting like you were dating or something, I gotta say what he did was wrong, he should have told if he didn't feelt the same way. I mean you liked him alot but... what can we say... life isn't fair all the time. (she explains and I node as we go back upstairs)

sarah: I know. but still he shouldve told me that. I feel pethactic. (I feel really bad, I start paking things up).

jasmine: it's alright sarah. Just try to move on... but not with me OK! (she says narrowing her eyes).

sarah: what? ofcurse not, I'll never replace you... your my life. (i show her my best and sweetest smile)

jasmine: yeah you better NOT! or she will face the concequenses. (she holds her fist infront of my eyes gesturing to beat who ever it'll be)

sarah: ok now... will you plz help me or not? (I say pouting).

jasmine: yeah yeah...

 The time just goes by like that, jaz leaves after having dinner. In my bed, I take my dairy....

sarah: Dear diary;

                    I can't believe I'm gonna leave mum. I don't want to leave her, but you know when she makes a decision... it'll. Always done no matter what... even if it's impossible, she'll do it. I don't know how or when but when she says...There will be no buts or NO for an answer. I'm gonna miss this place so much, jaz, mark, my dance classes, school, everything, even my room, I love everything here, it's really going to be hard, living alone I don't even know anyone there, except for kookie and well... dad. I hate to say this but I miss him too. Why does this usually happens. The people whom u love the most...they leave you, like mark... urghhh, I don't know how to feel about love anymore. I just hate it. I hate the pain it gives us. I hate how we have to struggle, i hate it when people leave me...they leave us like we're never going to see each other ever again I don't know about the rest but there is one thing I know. For sure, I'm never EVER going to fall in love.... because falling is NOT a good thing and falling for someone who dosent loves you back is the worst (while writing it I fall asleep)

I wear my favourite sweater black shirt.

I go down stairs, mom's waiting for me then my eyes travel to the girl behind her back, it's jaz. I smile looking at her I hug both  of them. Then i bring the bag of my cloths and the things down. mom doesn't  say anything during the way to the airport. Im worried about her. is she not happy now?. oor what is it thats bothering her. finnaly jaz broke the silence.

jasmine: soooo.... your gonna live with your dad and your bro... why don't you try the hostel? (she asks, I know why she's saying that cuz she doesn't trust them)

sarah: um... yeah... hostel? but why?

jasmine: what if they're not the same? what if they don't want to see you anymore? what if they hate you?...what if... (yup I was right)

sarah: waaaaooo...hold on girl....thats not gonna happen. (I assure her)

jaz: how can you be soo sure?

sarah: cuz kookie won't... I don't know bout dad... but he misses me too.

jaz: annnn how do you know that?

sarah: well I talked to him last month.

mom: you did what?! (mom turns to me with shock)

sarah: I talked to dad... more specifically, he messeged me that he missed me alot and he wanted me to be there with him... thats all.

mom: oh...

We stay silent. until we finally reach the airport.

sarah: mum... do you really want me to go? (I ask her again)

mom: honey I don't want to... but its for your own good... I won't be able to die... knowing that I had to separate you from your dad it's just not fair for you.... (she then breaks, I hate seeing her crying like this)

sarah: mom.... (I feel tears in my eyes) plz don't say tht again... k? If you say that again... then I won't leave... and just so you know leaving dad and choosing you was my decision... (I put my hand on her shoulder and pat)

mom: no... (I clean her tears) your right... but still I want you to get to know your dad... and Jungkook plz... take care of him... and tell him that mommy misses him alot and give him this. (she takes something from her bag)

sarah: (she hands me a small wooden box) ummm ok....

jaz: babe's it's time now..

sarah: yeah.. (I hug mom and her...)

jaz: take care of your self k?! (She pinches my arm)

sarah: yea I will.... just look after her for me ok? (I wisper the last part and she winks)

jaz: don't worry... (she smiles)

sarah: byes guys... I will miss you... soo much... and don't worry bout me k... I'll be fine, and I will come back. (I almost yell to them

mom: bye honey... (she's waving)

sarah: (I go inside... but then turn to them... to look at them for the last time before going inside. jazs holding mom and mom's trying not to cry again)

                                IN THE PLANE

sarah: I'm gonna miss you America... bye mom. bye jaz. bye mark. (I close my eyes.... tears falling from my eyes....)

After landing of the plane I go out side, I look for dad or kookie. I wonder if they knew. I look around some people. But don't find anything. then finnaly someting catches my eyes. There's an old man standing holding a board of my name. I go to him.

sarah: umm... excuse me I'm sarah. (I pat his back to make him turn at me)

old man: oh my God... finnaly... (he bows looking at me., then he grabs my cases)

sarah: excuse me... Sir do I know you? (I wait for his answer)

old man: no you don't. But I know who you are. (hun what kind of an answer was that?) your elder daughter of mister Kim right?

sarah: yes.. yes I am.. but is he not here? (I look at him hopefully)

old man: I'm sorry miss. (he looks down)

sarah: oh... It's ok. I'll  see him when I reach there. ( I cheer him up but deep inside I'm kinda hurt)

old man: yes you will... now let's go.

  He leads me to a car. They have a driver? and a car? are they rich or something?

sarah: (when we reach there...I look outside. There's a mansion. It looks soo

beautiful. I wonder whose house is it?) umm...excuse me sir where am I? whose house is this?

old man: (smiles) it's your dad's

sarah: oh... wait! what! NO WAY! (my eyes widen when he said that. where Mom and I lived it was small but it was cozy and warm. But this house is officially like a big castle)

old man: wait until you reach there. ( he's parks the car)

sarah: (I look around the house, it's soo big and very beautiful, then some maids came and took my luggage) WOW.

There's a question i can't stop asking myself.... how many rooms are there? I'm getting more and more existed every second, after all I haven't seen kookie and dad in years! When the door opens, some one greeted you, she sure works here and she mabe aged Bout 40 or 50.

old man: plz... come inside. (she shows me a big smile and bows)

sarah: (I go inside, look around. My eyes travel to a very beautiful lady. I stand In front of her. She bows to me and I do the same).

??: hello sarah. my name is Kim sung-ryung

sarah: hi nice to meet you (I smile at her, she must be one of the working lady here, but I have to say that she's really preety among them)

lady: welcome to your new home... please... make your self Comfortable (theres another she lady behind her she must be one of the maids that work here too)

sarah: yes thank you.... umm.... where is dad and Jungkook? (I can't wait to see them, but why arnt they here!!)

that lady: your dad will be here any minute and Jungkook... (she looks behind me) he's.......ok.

sarah: (I turn to where she was looking) aaah!!...(theres a guy standing soo close to me) oh my God you scared me... (ok...wow this guy is soo handsom, but who is he?)...who are you?

???: (he smiles) hello noona.

sarah: (my eyes widen) what?!.... j-jj-kookie (my eyes getting teary)

Jk: (he has a sad smile now) yea....how are you? (he brings his hand out)

sarah: (I pull him into my arms, hug him soo tightly, tears falling down my cheeks) is it really you kookie? (it's soo hard to believe that this brat is soo grown up)

jk: I-i-i can't breath.

sarah: (I realize, that I'm holding him very tightly, then I let him go and look at his face. He's soo cute. but now he's really taller, handsome, all grownup now. I still can't believe it. My little kookie is now a man.)

jk: hmm... ( he smiles) ofcurse it's me noona... how have you been?

sarah: we've missed you so much. I can't believe your really here standing in front of me, soo tall and handsom.

jk: yea me to... youve gone more hotter... but your height is smaller then me (he smirks)

sarah: ( I hug him again) we missed you soo much kookie. Why didn't you visited us? mom misses you soo much.

jk: I missed you too noona. (he brakes the hug, is he ignoring mom?) soo how was the flight?

sarah: I'm exhausted. (I don't wanna argue so I leave the topic and pout)

jk: sooo... do you want go to your room? or do you want to eat something first?

sarah: what do you think? (I ask him. With a big smile)

jk: (stars to act like thinking) hmmmm... ( he grabs my hand) first ill show you the whole house... then your room then you can eat with us.

sarah: (he starts to show me everything, damn this house is huge I look at everything. soo beautiful. Its not as big as our house in America, but home is home... It doesn't matter if its big oor small) wow this house is soo beautiful...

jk: (we reach to a door) this room is banded... soo NEVER go inside.

sarah: why not?

jk: because I sid so.

sarah: umm ok. (I fell sad, why is he telling me not to go there)

jk: (he pulls me to a room right infront of the banded room) and... This is your room... close your eyes.

sarah:(I close my eyes, he places his hands on my eyes)

jk: no peeking ok!

sarah: fine... just hurry up... ok... (ooo I'm excited)

jk: (pushes me lightly in the room)...ok now... are you ready?

sarah: duh.... ofcurse I am.

jk: (he takes his hands of me)....supprise!!

sarah: (I open myeyes, I see a room... Full of things like rags, towels...and stuff) wait what!??

jk: (starts laughing soo hard) just kidding... come on thats not your room.

sarah: very funny kookie... (I roll my eyes at him)

jk: yea ofcurse it was... com'on (He points at a new door) thats your room.

sarah: (i walk past him, and open the door, my eyes widen) is this really my room? (omg this room is soo beautiful, so big and beautiful)

jk: no its not...duhh. Ofcurse it's yours.

sarah: it's very beautiful, I love it.

jk: ok then. You get changed and come down stairs, dad will be here any minute. (he gives me a warm smile)

sarah: ok (I smile at him)

jk: see you then.

sarah: (I watch him close the door, then look at my new room. Its really beautiful, it has many cute decorations here. I jump on the soft bed. I sigh) HOME...HOME...HOME...MOM...oh no mom?! (I take my slefphone out and call mom, but she dosent pick up, then i text telling her that I'm here safe and sound & ill call her tommoro. Then I do a bit of stretching) I should go down now.

I try to find the way back but I have no idea where I am going. ok great! now I'm lost. I reach to some of the rooms. I gotta say, this place is huge though anyone can play hide and seek here. I keep walking until I notice the place I getting darker and darker. Then I bump into something and fall down, my head hurts so I rub it. My eyes adjusting, I look up and stop breathing. There is someone standing in front of me. I can't see who is it. all I see there, is a guy, some dark eyes. But then with a blink of an eye he's...he's...gone!?

old man: miss!?

sarah: (I opened my eyes, and the lights are on now) oh my God.

old man: what are you doing here?

sarah: I..um...I got lost.

old man: oh dear...It's alright. Come on now....everyone is waiting for you down stairs.

sarah: ok (he takes me by my side, but...who was that?)

We both go down stairs, I see dad. he greets me with a warm smile, he was about to pull me into a hug but I bow him and go next to kookie. I smile at him and watch dad with end of my eye. he has a sad smile on him. I just didn't wanted to get close him, no matter how hard I try to forget those days, those nights, those screams....I just can't forget them and it was all becuz of him

dad: sooo...sarah how was your flight?

sarah: it was good (I dont show any emotions to him)

kookie: let's eat now, I'm hungry. (he dosent like this scean, I can tell by his face)

sarah: (we all start eating dinner. There's a very awkward silence between us, I

know it's cuz of me and I don't like it) so kookie what are you doing now days?

kookie: what do you mean? (he looks at me)

sarah: I mean are you studying oor are you doing job?

kookie: oh no. I'm studying computers

sarah: really thats gud.

dad: soo. what do you wanna do here?

sarah: I guess study arts.

dad: really?, thats good.

sarah: (I silently eat my food, I really don't want to talk to dad) um...im full, I

better get some sleep I'm really tired. (all eyes on me, I look at that lady,

behind dad could you show me my room...I don't want to get lost again. This

house is really big and I'm not yet familiar with it (she simply nods,she

seems like nice)

kookie: mom wait ill take her (he tells the lady)

sarah: (did he just call her mom?) mom?

that lady: oh no mam, it's just a misunderstanding he calls me like that cuz I treet him like one. (she looks awkwardly down)

sarah: but why?....why do you call the house mistress mom kookie?(I ask him. It really hurt me).

kookie: don't ever call her mistress ( I see him getting up and frustrated).

sarah: what do you mean by that? she's not uour mother kookie, your mom is in America. Do you have any idea how much she misses you? she waits everyday for your call, so she can at least hear your voice!!. (tears filling my eyes)

kookie: and you think i didn't?...I wanted to see her...feall her warm hugs, telling me everything will be alright...but all she did was CHEAT!

sarah: (don't know whts happing, but i slaps him hard, how could he say like that

about mom,I can't believe he really said tht, she misses him like hell and here he is talking shit) HOW DARE U SAY LIKE THAT ABOUT HER!.......she never did anything, he...He's the reason why she left because he kept seeing other woman. and when he used come back home late....he used to torture her!!!

kookie: (his head falls to another side, I can see his eyes getting teary) you don't know anything (he almost wipers)

sarah: (tears falling down my eyes)

dad: enough of this, it's not his fault sarah. I married Kim sung-ryung, because

Jungkook was alone. He needed a mother and she was the only one right for

him and you.

sarah: you did what!!? your married now?!! are you kidding me! she can never EVER replace mom (I look at her) no wonder she was being all nice...how could you do this to me, to us dad? and Jungkook how could you accept another woman

as your mom? (i look at him dosent answers, my mind might blow any minute

now) I hate you all!! (thats all I could say for now, i hear my dad screaming my

name but i just ignore him and run out from there, don't to want to see there faces).

I just keep on going then theres light coming from a door. I walk towards the door, open it I find tht it's a balcony I sit on the chair pull my leges to my face and cry it all out....I hate it. I hate being here, I hate them all, and moreover I hate myself being this miserable. so much for being in Korea hun?....can't believe he really did got married after we left, no wonder why they didn't wanted to talk to us anymore. but how could he do this? I look up, at the stars.....wish you were here mom. I really miss you though.Tears falling down my eyes.....and I pass out.

                                      Morning

I open my eyes, my head hurts alot, rub my eyes adjusting the light then i notice that Im not at the balcony neither in my room...so where am I? suddenly I see a boy coming towards me....I get up as I see him, ok....omg this guy is soo handsome, tall heighted, seems sweet and...aah he smiles like sunshine.

??: hey...you ok?

sarah: hm....my head still hurts. (Who is this guy)

??: here drink this juice and take these pills. It'll make u better

sarah: (I look at him) but who are you?

??: Aah I forgot to tell you about me..im jung hoseok. I'm a medical student and

son of  Kim sung-ryung.

sarah: (My eyes widen) you..you..your son of that mistress.

Hoseok: yeah...(he faking crying now)

sarah: (I smile looking at him like that, then I  remember how I slapped kookie. I

look down at my hands)

hoseok: worried about Jungkook?

sarah: yea...I shouldn't have done that to him, I never shouldve left him alone, I

shouldve never-

Hoseok: woaw waow. Slow down girl. He's alright and very sorry, thats why he

went crazy when he couldn't find you, he was totally out of control...and when mom found you...Jungkook asked me to checkup on you.. I've never seen him soo worried about something oor someone, he brought you to my room just incase if something happens to you, and....becuz you...(he looks pissed) I had to sleep at the couch!

sarah: (I don't know why but I'm trying so hard not to laugh) Ummm..... sorry I guess.

Hoseok: anyways, now get up and change. I'll be waiting for you outside.

Sarah: (he just leaves like tht, ok...what just happened?) But I don't have my cloths here...(looking around the room I find cute cloths, I get refreshed and wear the them).

The weird thing here is that I'm listening to this guy, even though I never listen to anyone but still he seem like my older brother...not to mention but he's really handsome, I go out side and find him talking on phone. He takes me by my shoulder and takes me down stairs. I don't feel right to see them right now.

Sarah: Hoseok don't think I can face them

Hoseok: call me Hoseok oppa...and don't worry I'll b with you.

Sarah: (I stop walking, he turns to me) why are you helping me?

Hoseok: because I can't see dad, Jungkook and mom like that.

Sarah: (ok...ouch tht hurts, thats all?) Oh (I look down).

Hoseok: besides judging someone..that quickly is not me, and I wanted a sister

for a long time., so yea.

Sarah: (really?he didn't think bad about me?, I give him a sweet a smile) ok let's go now.

Hoseok: good girl (he messes my hair up).

Sarah: hey!...(I run to catch him then, but then I stop when my eyes travel to

dad, hes laughing with that woman and kookie hes laying his head on her lap my eyes getting teary, mom would die to get this time together with the whole family again. But its not possible and it's all becuz of him. Tears falling down. Missing you soo much mom...I look down and turn back but then Hoseok oppa is there he looks at my eyes and rubs my tears away).

Hoseok: Come with me (in his serious tune).