HOLY CHEF, CRAZY EMPRESS
Episode 1
Author
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Author
Hello my cutie pie's
Northern Yan Royal Palace
unknown
Your Majesty, We Southern Yan came here to foster the friendship between our two countries.
unknown
Therefore, but she has been here for less than a day and has already suffered such grand humiliation
Envoy
I dare to ask your Majesty, how could this happen on your watch?!
Envoy
If your Majesty cannot provide a satisfactory answer,
Envoy
Southern Yan will enter war with Northern Yan to wash off the shame of the Princess!
empress dowager
Envoy, Please calm down!
empress dowager
The Empress was foolish and made you suffer a great deal, Concubine Lan. I will rule with justice in this matter!
empress dowager
My son What do you think?
Xuan Yuanche/Emperor/ML
Empress, Do you know what you have done wrong?
Zisu /FL maid
Your Majesty. Her Highness just lost her grip for a second. It was not at all intentional! Moreover, she just got up.
Zisu /FL maid
I'm afraid that she's not fully awake yet...
Envoy
How dare you open your mouth in front of the Emperor! who do you think you are!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
HOW DARE YOU !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
This is the harem of Northern Yan
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
What makes you think that you can interrupt this conversation as an Envoy of Southern Yan?
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Your Princess entered the harem of Northern Yan and the matter of the harem is a family matter
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
If you want to talk about National affairs, please bring The Princess back to Southern Yan first and then send an envoy for peace negotiations!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Otherwise shut up you're so noisy!
Xuan Yuanche/Emperor/ML
........
Xuan Yuanche/Emperor/ML
( Since when did the arrogant Empress become so assertive and forceful ? )
Concubine Lan
Your Majesty, Ever since I entered the harem of Northern Yan, I have been a part of Northern Yan.
Concubine Lan
I just want justice ! Can the empress do whatever she wants in the harem ?
Concubine Lan
As far I know, The Empress has been Terrorising the harem, but many don't dare to tell the truth
Concubine Lan
Today I'm standing up to seek justice for us Concubines!
Concubine Lan
Even if that means punishment, I will not back down!
empress dowager
Princess, please get up.
empress dowager
You were wronged and I shall bring you the justice that you deserve!
Concubine Lan
Thank you, Your Highness * smirks *
Concubine Lan
( This is going well ! )
Concubine Lan
( The Empress is known to be bossy and arrogant, she bullies other concubines.)
Concubine Lan
( As expected I made her beat me with just a little trick. and then I punched her chest while fighting with her)
Concubine Lan
( This was the plan all along. With my martial arts skills, she should have died immediately.)
Concubine Lan
( I might not know why she is still alive, but all is going according to plan and I can bring her down from her high horse in no time.)
empress dowager
You hit people.
empress dowager
You not only don't feel any sort of Remorse, but you also act like nothing even happened.
empress dowager
Does the Royal law even mean anything to you?
empress dowager
I command you to Apologize to the Princess Right away!
empress dowager
Or you shall end up to the Cold Palace and think about what you have done for a month.
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
.........
Xuan Yuanche/Emperor/ML
............
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Alright, I Apologize
Envoy
According to the customs of Southern Yan, you must kneel three times and knock your head on the the floor nine times!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Well, then we shall comply with the customs of Southern Yan ...
Concubine Lan
* falls on the ground *
Concubine Lan
Empress! You...
Concubine Lan
What are you doing?!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
I thought about it. I have already beaten her.
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Hitting her once or a hundred times makes no difference.
Concubine Lan
You ! Don't come any closer!
Concubine Lan
AGH! AGH! AGH!
* SNAPPED! * *SNAPPED! * *SNAPPED!* *SNAPPED!* *SNAPPED! *
Concubine Lan
How dare you?!
* SNAPPED! * *SNAPPED! * * SNAPPED! *
empress dowager
* shivering *
Others maids and concubines are also shivering of fear
Concubine Lan
I, I was wrong! Please Don't!
* SNAPPED !* *SNAPPED! * * SNAPPED! *
Concubine Lan
* Lying on ground *
* Shivering *
Author
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Episode 2
Author
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Feng Qian/Empress/FL
You want me to Apologize? In my next life then!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Zisu, let's go!
Zisu /FL maid
Empress, where are we going?
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
The Cold Palace!
Envoy
Princess, are you all right ?!
Concubine Lan
* Standing up *
Princess Lan of Southern Yan
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Cold Palace...
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
The Palace is just like the Name, Cold and Humid.
Zisu /FL maid
Your Highness, you're the Empress. How can you live like this?
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( I guess you don't know yet, the Empress...)
sorry I forgot to tell
*...* means action
(...) means thinking
when they shout I will write it on Capital letters
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
It's okay. I think it's pretty nice
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( Has died after Princess Lan punched her in the chest!)
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( I am a soul from the modern age. I am the most wanted killer in the world... Silver Fox )
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( Assassination, Camouflage, Tracing skills, Escaping skills and so on are my specialities, but... )
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( Unfortunately, my plane crashed...)
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( I thought that my life was coming to an end...)
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( But I unexpected restored my consciousness, and found myself travelling across time and space right into the body of the the Empress of Northern Yan - Feng Qian! )
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( Fortunately, I received her memory, so I flawlessly got through this situation...!)
Zisu /FL maid
Your Highness !
Zisu /FL maid
Why don't you beg the emperor for forgiveness?
Zisu /FL maid
I think his Majesty won't do anything to you for the sake of the Prime Minister...
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( The Prime Minister is Feng Qian's father, who is below one person and above everyone else... Feng Cang...)
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( With her background the Empress is in the position to boss around the harem, and ultimately brought an end to herself...)
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( But I don't need to rely on him...)
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
I think it's very good here. It's spacious and clean, just a simple yet Luxurious house.
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
btw, I'm hungry, go get some noodles for me to eat.
Zisu /FL maid
I am going now!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
What happened ?!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Who hit you ?!
Zisu /FL maid
It's Servant Li in the Royal kitchen !
Zisu /FL maid
I went there to ask for a bowl of Noodles and Servant Li said that your Highness only deserve leftover since you're at the Cold Palace.
Zisu /FL maid
I was trying to defend you and then she just slapped me...
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
This is Outrageous !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
I only deserve leftover? Lead the way to the Royal kitchen !
Zisu /FL maid
Please think carefully before you do anything!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
I can take living in the Cold Palace, but I cannot take being starved to death !
Author
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Episodes 3
Random maid
Servant Li, how could you hit the servant of the Empress ?
Random maid
She is an eye for an eye type of person. I can tell that she will not let it go.
Servant Li
What are you afraid of ?
Servant Li
The Empress has been sent to the Cold Palace.
Servant Li
Why would I be afraid of a lady in the cold palace?
Random maid
That's true, you nursed the emperor when he was a baby and you're also Empress's Dowager favourite. Not to mention your hibiscus cake that she love. She won't make do without you !
Servant Li
Well, the Dowager Empress hasn't approved of the Empress for a quite some time, but because of the Prime Minister, he couldn't pick on her. I did this for the Dowager Empress !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
You're the one who hit my servant ! *Angry *
Servant Li
Yes, I did ! I just followed the rules of the Palace !
Servant Li
A woman in the Cold Palace is only entitled to leftover and this rule was set
Servant Li
I was just educating on behalf of the Dowager empress !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
* angry * Even if I live in the cold Palace, I'm still the Empress !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
How dare to be rude to me face !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
If I don't punish you on behalf of
Servant Li
You... You hit me like that...
Servant Li
If Empress Dowager knows it, you're done !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Even if she were here, I would still beat you up!
THE EMPRESS DOWAGER IS HERE !
empress dowager
Is my cake ready yet ?
empress dowager
What's the hold up? I can't wait any longer !
Servant Li
Your Highness !
Servant Li
Please, Please, grant justice to me !
Servant Li
I was making your cake and right out of the blue her servant shows up.
Servant Li
She requested me to make noodles for her, but I said no because I didn't want to make you wait any longer!
Servant Li
Who knew that the Empress would get angry and come here to beat me up ! Not only that, she said... * Kneel *
Servant Li
She said even if the Dowager Empress were here, she would still do what she did !
empress dowager
How dare she !
empress dowager
Aren't supposed to be in the Cold Palace right now ?
empress dowager
Why did you come to the Royal kitchen and cause chaos? Do you even follow any rules?
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
I remember when I just entered the Palace, you held my hand and told me.....
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
After taking over the Phoenix stamp from me, everyone needs to obey your orders including me.
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
As long as you have the stamp, you are in charge of the Harem.
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Live up to my Expectations !
empress dowager
You... you!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Now, the Phnoiex stamp is still in my hands.
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Everyone in the harem still needs to follow my orders!
empress dowager
How dare you !
empress dowager
Do you even have any respect for me !?
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Mother, I'm strictly following your orders!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
How is that not respecting you?
empress dowager
You.......
You......
I'm so mad! Let's go back
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Please Return Safely!
empress dowager
* Tripped * Oh!
Empress Dowager Maid
Be Careful !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
I pray for you to live as long as the Heavens !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
( AGH, she is eventually getting older and older, she can't even walk well anymore.)
Zisu /FL maid
( Your Highness was so cool!)
Servant Li
Dowager Empress...
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Oh right, I still need to deal with you !
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Zisu, call someone to drag her out and hit her 40 times !
Zisu /FL maid
Your Highness, No one listens to my orders anymore.....
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Oh, then you do it.
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Didn't you get hit earlier ? why don't you hit her back?!
Zisu /FL maid
Well.... well?!
Servant Li
No, no?! you, you cannot beat me! I am the wet nurse of the Empress!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Wet nurse? What's that I don't care who you are, I will do it anyways!
Servant Li
*AH* *AH ** AH * * AH *
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
Harder
Servant Li
*AH! * I wasn't wrong! won't be rude to you ever again!
Feng Qian/Empress/FL
I think you really need some exercise since you're so weak .
Xuan Yuanche/Emperor/ML
Share
empress dowager
and don't forgot to send gift
Concubine Lan
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