♡ Hira's pov ♡

You would think how can someone like me ever be sad in their life?

I can see the whole world of luxury from this skyscraper, and I can also see the miserable future that awaits me: death.

I had everything; love, family, money, education, beauty. Everything.

Yet i had nothing at all.

It was all handed to me, not earned, perhaps thats why I was never able to enjoy it for sure.

But now, I wish I could go back. I wish I can survive this. I wish I can truly fight for myself and change my myself.

But who doesn't wish to turn around their regrets at the brink of death?

I'm dying.

Bleeding. Crying. Pain strikes my whole body.

But I'm crying out for help and the only the thing the man who slit my throat says is, "I wish you a goodbye from behalf of Noah."

And with that he strikes his blade into stomach.

The man jerks from behind to my front and his fingers shot up to my eyes; One goes in my right eye mercilessly twisting my eyeballs and the other in my left.

He tugs at my eyeballs before holding in his palm acting as though it were a trophy, only to throw it away onto the floor like trash.

But My pain only escalates further as I let out wretched cries trying to feel my sockets. My hands crazily run all over my face

I can taste the coopery taste of my blood coming out of my mouth.

I can't breath. Breath. I need to breath. It hurts so much. Please! Someone! Help!

I cry out audibly.

"No one's coming to help you. I'll make sure of that."

I feel several blows of the murderers blade to my body in my leg, my neck, hands and so on...

So much so I lose count of how many times he'd stabbed me.

I drop to floor and my wounds increase in pain.

The floor feels so cold, it's almost relaxing.

How insane, a dead person feels relaxation at the cold feel of the floor?

I can feel my consciousness blacking out.

But I don't wanna die. Not yet. I want to ask him why?

Why did he do this?

Noah! I know he hates me, but I loved him. With all my heart, soul and body.

How could he be so cold-blooded.

But, how could I be so blinded in love to think he'd never wish me death. Or bring it upon me?

If I could go back, erase the past, the mistakes i made. I would. I'd never fall for him.

God. I trust you, i always have. So please do something. Help me. Help me.

Nothing around me made sense anymore, I couldn't think no more as I blacked out... and took my last few breaths.

•♡___♡•

"Enough with the chatter and quickly do your work."

Tia?

That's... Tia's voice?

I feel my eyelids heavy on me but I try to open them.

Somehow, miraculously I'm in my room, my old childhood room.

What's going on?

My eyes pry around the room as i get up from my bed.

Slowly, I approach my Teddy bear on the sofa. It was a gift to me from Granna. It's touch still feels so soft and real.

Is this my imagination?

Or reality?

I can feel the warm weather, smell the summery flowers. My hands feel, my eyes-

My eyes?

My eyes can see....

what?

I run my hands all over my face and feel my eyes intact. Just then i run to the bathroom's mirror.

Before me, my reflection gawk at me in utter shock and disbelief.

My eyes are perfectly fine. Not a single scratch. No eyebags either.

But... Why do i look so young? Like my 10 year old self?

Everything just became even more confusing.

Where am I? In heaven? In my imagination?

Is this reality? Did all that i went through, that humiliation, hurt and pain all just a very realistic dream?

No.... I can still vividly remember every horrible moment that I've been through, it couldn't have been a simple dream.

The opening of the door to the bedroom has my head turning and i step out the bathroom to see Tia before me. Alive. And well.

"Hira?"

Tia!

For some reason I couldn't bring myself to move and just stood there looking at Tia like an idiot taken aback.

"Hira, why did you get up from your bed? Your injuries haven't yet healed."

She comes closer to me helping me place myself back onto the bed.

Tia feeds me some medicine and tales my temperature.

Thats when it clocks in. This must be when Milan pushed me down in the deep pool.

I didn't know how to swim and i had a phobia of deep pools. So I remember it had caused me some trauma for a long time but around summer time I had gotten better and was able to play about again.

I just find it so difficult and hard to see what kind of situation I'm in.

Had i lived my life and been reborn?

Had I just dreamed a long nightmare and woken up?

Had i just been saved from the murder attempt and now in a deep coma?

I could make endless theories but I'll figure whatever situation I'm in and if this is now my reality, I promise to change for the better for myself and friends and worse for my enemies; ill crush them all, one by one.

•♡ Hira Pov ♡•

Memories. They're wonderful. But just as equally as painful.

Especially when it's with the people you might never get to see.

Now and then, I'm reminded by them.

Sometimes when I look at a childhood photo of ours. Other times, when I'm lonely and sit all by myself; I think about them.

But today, these cookies I hold in my hand remind me of them.

____♡~

I had stood behind the large old tree for 30 minutes now, perhaps. But my heart wasn't ready to make a peep.

Before me, you can see a vast green field encircled by a magnificent mansion. In the midst of all the joy are isabelle and anabelle, the twin sisters, playing about with their dolls.

Far to the left were Nate and Alan playing catch.

Nate.

My eyes, I remember, were sparkling just looking at him.

However, my hands would shake as though an earthquake broke with in me.

I could never keep a calm composure; not infront of him.

As you can tell, i had a slight crush on him.

Enough a crush I was willing to burn my hands for him: and that's how the short biscuits in my hands were made. With torture mixed in passion.

My hands had grabbed onto the body of the big old tree and the scent of greenery helped relaxed my nerves.

My heart rate slows down and I decide to take small breaths.

"Yo!"

I jump.

Nico!

My biscuits drop onto the floor. My eyes widen. I try to reach them but he gets them up before I do.

"What's this?" He asks, opening the lid of the biscuit tin.

"Nothing, give me." I Jump to grab the container off of him.

Dodged.

He makes amusing expressions.

Nonetheless I try again.

Again, dodged.

Now his face hails a raised eyebrow.

I look him in the eye for some time to catch him off guard then reach for the container quickly.

"Uh-uh. Not so quick."

Dodged for the third time in a row!?

My face, fuming. I turn away, "keep it, I'm going."

"Hey! come back."

"No."

"I wasn't gonna take them, I was going to give back."

I stop midway. Seriously? Why take it!

"Then why did you just snatch it from me?" I had my arms crossed and my face tilted.

"I just wanted to see them." His eyes shimmered brightly in the open sun rays.

Almost taken aback by the cute innocence.

But I don't get fooled easily. I smiled proudly internally.

"You could've asked. Politely. And why dodge so many times?" I speak my thoughts and reach close enough to snatch the container back from him.

"Sorry, I just have fast, without thinking, reflexes."

Is that even a thing?

His hands reach to touch the back of his head awkwardly.

I stare at him more before he decides tp move his mouth again.

"Hira, why were you just gawking at everyone from here? Why didn't you just go to the field?" His questions drill into my guilty consciousness.

I try to lay it of as smoothly as possible.

"Oh uh- That. That you see, I was counting how many people... And servants there are-"

His expression seemed like he was screaming 'what in the world of nonsense are you on about?'

"-- You know! I wanted to give everyone biscuits so I was only checking the biscuits match the people. I don't wanna leave anyone out!" I throw my head lightly and proudly around.

You know, to give off a convincing stance.

....

silence.

And then he cracks.

I see him cackling, unable to control himself.

But I just stand there, watching him.

"Enough!" I shout sharply.

"Ahahaha! aha-aha! I'm sorry, sorry." He apologies several times in the midst of his witchy cackles before seriously stopping.

"Had enough? Felt nice? Looks like you starved from laughter for days." I taunt him, wearing a sarcastic smirk.

I hadn't removed my eyes from his hands that were placed onto his stomach, I suppose it still hurt. Why wouldn't it, after all that laughter.

Begrudgingly, I extend a hand filled with a biscuit.

But this idiot just stares at it.

"What's this?" He asks, shocked, amazed even at what he's seeing.

'What's this?' I don't know? Rat poison?

My lips force themselves to smile and let out a soft, 'A shortbread biscuit.'

"Ahh! I thought it was a new type, I mean-" He takes it and examines it up and down. "-It's very unique, indeed."

I know he was holding in his evil cackles. Besides my short bread biscuits looked fine, I don't think they came out too bad?

To confirm my thoughts i peek in my container, maybe a few burnt spots here and there? And a few wet, seemingly uncooked spots... here and there...?

My proud smile wears off, how'd I not notice?

Haa.. love truly makes you blind.

Ah- Ah! Snap out, Hira.

Noah constant coughing grabbed my attention, was the boy choking?

I ran to pat his back and support him, "hey! You ok?"

As a sign, he lifts his hand up nodding yes.

"Wow! This biscuit certainly has superpowers I.e to make people choke, ill give you that."

"Well, thank you."

Whatever, I'll take it.

"Now atleast im certified to block your evil-witchy cackles."

Maybe, not. Maybe another day. Maybe when I'm i have a crush on this brother and not the other.

"Here, take my hand and stand up." I help him stand up and he pats his clothes.

"Hira..."

"Yes...?"

He approaches me, shortening our distant.

That smirk plays on his lips again.

"Brother should thank me for this service and kindness I've shown him, saved him from a near death experience."

I'm left speechless.

"What do you mean?" I ask, pretending to be a clueless little girl.

"I know you have a little crush on big brother Nate."

How disrespectful! False accusations!

As if.

"What-" I'm not letting him confirm any doubt or suspicions he has!

"And... that you made these- horrible, horrible short bread biscuits for him. Except I had the first bite so he doenst need to go through a murder attempt."

"Noah!"

"What?"

"You can't say that about my cookies!"

Please don't let my face be red. There's no way, it must be red. I always get red when I'm frustrated or angry.

Noah seemed so nonchalant, "I can and I did." He shrugs his shoulders and walks off suddenly.

I shout behind him, "Where are you going!"

"To tell Nate you have a cute little crush on him!"

He'll what!

"No! You can't do that!"

I fasten my pace and so does he.

"I can and and I will."

This- I swear to God.

"No! You can't and you won't!"

I see him turn his head around and yell, "bet?"

"If you do, I'm gonna spew some dumb lie to wreck you too!"

his laughter faintly echoes in the field.

"That'd be much appreciated!"

He was running so fast for 12 year old so I had to make do with my small 9 year old body.

However, we had arrived at the field where everyone was at quickly, surprisingly.

Nevertheless, I was sweating from head to toe.

When I regained my breath, I saw that everyone was gathered around the picnic table and just staring at Noah and I.

They seemed more amused than confused, perhaps because for once we were getting along and he wasn't bullying me and I wasn't just keeping up with it?

But it just seemed that we were playing along: like having a race with each other.

In reality, this boy had me livid.

'What was he going to spout from his mouth now.'

"Grandma, Nate I was-"

No. No. No. I need to speak up. Before he does. He's gonna tell them!

Quick!

Quick! Think. Something. Anything!

"Granna, I made something! For someone special." I speak up, loud and confident with a smile evident on my face.

I get closer now standing directly next to Noah.

I could sense all attention was on me.

Angela, Granna was watching us both with clear attention to every detail whilst the rest toned in desperately for what was about to unravel.

So I look at Noah, "For Noah."

Gasps resonate from the audience and From Noah. A livid, mortifying shock bounces off his lips.

And so I continue, "I like Noah and wanted to make something nice for him..."

The container full of half cooked, half burnt short bread biscuits I hold in my hand, I show them off to the audience as evidence and their eyes pry around it.

"Oh wow, dear." Says Kira, Noah's mother.

Followed by more similar words of praises.

Yeh, right. Words of praises at the likes of these cookies.

Anyways, moving on, I somehow managed to get a tear to drop from my eye. (Well, I only had to think of the most gruesome things I could ever experience and how it'd feel)

Without wasting the tear, I follow it up with, "I was going to just give him the biscuits through some other way but he saw me with it and just opened the container, took a bit off it and said how much he disliked it and how terrible it was."

Surprisingly, more tears march it's way down my cheeks.

At this point even I'd believe this made-up lie.

'Goodness, do I know how to act!' I roll my eyes internally with bloating pride.

My eyes had stayed on Noah for sometime before occasionally wandering off to our audience:especially granna. I had to garner symphathy from the strongest person!

Nico was stunned, as though he had lost all ability form any words. Nonetheless, he tried to clear up my lies.

"Uh- No, mom and dad thats-"

But was I gonna let him?

"Right! And then you laughed at me and mocked me for having a crush on you!"

No.

This was getting too much so i just took a strong hold of my cookies and ran with it, away from Noah and everyone.

Whatever, Noah can handle everything that'll unfold after this.

It's his fault anyways.

____ ♡~

I giggle at the memory, so stupid and idiotic I was.

I could've just said something else and diverted him from saying anything about me having a crush on Nate.

The poor guy, after the incident, continued to be teased by everyone for being crushed on.

I know the comments his family members gave him were disliked by him but luckily they stopped soon.

I sit down in my sofa at the apartment and turn on the TV.

The biscuits melted right into my mouth as I took it in. How wonderful.

Today the weather had calmed down from its bizarre wind and heavy rain. The wind, now, felt soft on my skin and as I was in my blanket nothing made me more comfortable than this moment.

Alone, watching my favourite show with my favourite snacks.

Perfect.

...----------------...

Authors Note- this is before she was reborn. In the future chapters i will be writing in past tense to make it less confusing.

•♡ Hira's Pov ♡•

When did my life began to trail down? How did I end up the way i did, in blood and regretful tears.

With one thing, wrongful mistake: to fall for that cruel man. Alex.

In the Midst of a beautiful spring when Granna had called me to come back to Country A after 9 years being abroad away from everyone. I was sent abroad at 11 because of an incident that left me scarred.

So I did, excited to meet everyone, I prepared gifts and cards.

But..

to my dismay, it seemed no one was excited to me. Or so it seemed.

Back then i never noticed because i was so busy being enthusiastic about earning everyone's favor and having them love me an care for me.

However, it made sense the expression that i was met with when I got off at the airport.

Everything had changed; nothing was the same.

Some days passed and I met with Alex. The guy I had had troubled for years back when we were children. He was the only son of the Millers

He had changed so much. It was no longer the youngest annoying brother but a much more mature and rather good looking man.

And then for the next three years I chased around this man like a moth to fire. All because he made my heart flutter, because i was in love with him.

My Granna noticed, she saw how happy this man made me. How loved i felt, how comfortable i was.

And I though he did too. We were always hanging out, laughing and messing around.

I only learnt 6 months into our marriage arranged by Granna at her death bed that he never loved me: he only ever saw me as his "sister". As someone so pathetic that he pitied, he married her because our family had a marriage alliance.

When this man had another woman. His ex-girlfriend.

Of course, as an experienced lawyer that was exposed to media quite often, his scandals with his ex seemed never-ending.

His actions hurt me, seeped into my heart like needles and fed on it like leeches.

I told him to stop. That it hurts me. That it's wrong.

Yet, nothing pained me more than his response, "You must know i only agreed to this marriage because it was forced on me and I didn't have much of a choice. But now, i can't do this anymore. I'm sorry but let's get a divorce. I love someone else."

Tell me something that hurts more than that last line. I'll tell you, nothing. Nothing did at the time.

I was desperate to have him love me back, the way he used to.

To get back to how we were; always laughing, being friendly, loving and caring.

What changed? Nothing. But that it was never true.

He lied.

Many times. And each time he got away with it.

I tried everything to get him to separate from his ex. I spread rumors about her, tried to ruin her modeling career. I bribed her co-workers to bully her. Just so she'd be a bit more miserable than I was.

But she always won, regardless. She had him. I didn't.

And as if that wasn't enough, I hired people to scare her, kidnap her.

I didn't wanna hurt her. I just wanted her gone. But she never took the hint.

Jealousy is so dangerous, if it gets out of control you'll either burn everyone around you or yourself.

I burned myself with the intention of burning everyone else.

Eventually, someone had to find out. And the one person i wish never found out about all of my misdeeds was Alex.

Nevertheless, the wind of fate doesn't bow at you command; The night his ex escaped the kidnapping, he had everything investigated. I didnt realise I had done such a bad job at being the Villain: I was found immediately.

Everything is so vivid in my memory, so clear and distinct.

When i heard the doors of our house being banged on loudly and him charging in, i knew what was about to unfold; murder.

His hands came for my throat, his words for my heart. And his hostile gaze for my soul; all of which were left bruised and shattered.

That raging night, i fell to my knees and cried for hours. Time seemed timeless. My eyes seemed tearless yet i kept tearing up. I regretted everything.

Because then I realised i truly had lost him.

We could never laugh no more. Never smile. We could never make jokes anymore. I'd never be able to hold his hand.

Yet I still loved him.

He was horrible to me but i was horrible to him too. To the people he loved.

Regret filled my whole being, guilt was now my whole mood, my whole emotions. And it wouldn't let go of me.

I was chained to every single bad thing that i had done to her now matter how much i tried to pull myself out of it, it wouldnt let go of me.

I did everything to let go of the guilty feeling: close off everyone, surround myself with meaningless luxury and worldly materialistic objects.

But it didnt matter. I was only avoiding it.

I needed to face it.

Every once of guilt and the worse feelings that came with it lead me to counselling with a therapist.

Sessions after sessions, the feeling became worse.

I realised how wrong, terrible, pathetic i was.

How i lost who I was and would never get her back because now no one was going to love me.

I was all alone in the world.

However, I wanted to do something.

Reform all that I'd done wrong.

And i did. At least i tried to.

My therapist told me I needed to face what I done wrong, to whose I done wrong. So I did, i met Alex's gf, Cara.

I was going to apologise. Sincerely.