The British Embassy was a grand house on a tree-lined street in the old part of Helsinki.

The chandeliers were sparkling, the parquet floors polished, the antique furniture

gleaming. The ambassador and his wife, who wore a long velvet skirt and a frilly white

blouse, stood in the doorway to the main reception room, officially greeting all guests.

When it was Kaisa's tun, she took the invitation, with its ornate gold writing, out of her

handbag, but the woman didn't even glance at it. Instead,d, she took Kaisa's hand and

smiled briefly, before she did the same to Kaisa's friend Tuuli, and then to the next per-

son in line. Kaisa grabbed the hem of her dress to pull it down a little. When a waiter

in a white waistcoat appeared out of nowhere and offered her a glass of sherry from

a silver tray, Kaisa nodded to her friend and they settled into a corner of a brightly it

room and sipped the sweet drink. A few people were scattered around the room, talking

English in small groups, but the space seemed too large for all of them. One woman in a

cream evening gown glanced briefly towards the Finnish girls and smiled, but most were

unconcerned with the two of them standing alone in a comer, staring at their shoes, in

a vain attempt not to the lookout of place.

Kaisa touched the hem of her black-and-white crepe dress once more. She knew it

suited her well, but she couldn't help thinking she should have borrowed an even-ing

gown form somewhere.

Kaisa looked at her friend and wondered if Tuuli was nervous about the evening as she

was. She doubted it Tuuli was a tall, confident girl. Nothing seemed to faze her. You

look great, Tuuli said, as if she'd read Kaisa's mind. I keep thinking I should have worn a

long dress. Kaisa said.

Kaisa's friend from university looked down at her own turquoise satin blouse, which

fitted tightly around her slim body. She'd tucked the blouse smartly into her navy

trousers. On her feet, Tuuli had a pair of light-brown loafers with low heels. Kaisa's

courts made her, for once, the same height as Tuuli. What did the woman at the bank

say, exactly? Tuuli asked. Kaisa noticed her blue eyes had turned the exact same hue

as her blouse. Her friend was very pretty. Students and staff at Hanken, the Swedish

language university to which Kaisa had so remarkably gained entry a year ago, though

the two girls were sisters, Kaisa didn't think she looks anything like Tuuli. As well as

being much

taller, her friend also had larger breasts, which made men turn and stare. Cocktail

dresses.. Kaisa replied.

Well, I don't wear dresses. Ever: Tuuli had a way of stating her opinion so definitely

that it excluded all future conversation on the matter. I didn't mean that. You look

fantastic. It's just that she was so vague.. Kaisa was thinking back to the conversation

she'd had with her boss at the bank where she worked as a summer intern. The woman

was married to aFinnishnaval oficer whose job it was to organise a visit by the Brit-ish

Royal Navy to Helsinki. She had told Kaisa it was a very important occasion as this was

the first visit to Finland by the English fleet since the Second World War. The Russi-and

come here all the time, so this makes a nice change. The woman had smiled and con-

tinued, "We need some Finnish girls at the cocktail party to keep the officer's company,

and I bet you speak good English? She was right; languages were easy for Kaisa. She'd

lived in Stockholm as a child and spoke Swedish fluently Kaisa had been studying

English since primary school and could understand almost everything in British and Am

She'll TV series, even without looking at the subtitles. She'll but forgotten about the

conversation when, weeks later, the invitation arrived. Kaisa's heart had skipped a beat.

She'd never been inside an embassy or been invited to a cocktail party. The card with its

official English writing seemed too glamorous to be real. Kaísa now dug out the

invite and showed it to her friend. Her Britannic Majesty's Ambassador and Mrs

Farquharre-quest the pleasure of the company of Miss Niemi and guest for buffet and

dancing on Thursday 2 October 1980 at 8.15 pm: Whatever, this will be fun, Tuuli said

determinedly and handed the card back to Kaisa. she took hold of her am,

Relax!

Kaisa looked around the room and tried to spot the lady from the bank, but she was

nowhere to be seen. There were a few men whose Finnish naval uniforms she

recognised. They stood by themselves, laughing and drinking beer. Couldn't we have a

beer? Tuuli asked. Kaisa glanced at the women in evening gowns. None of them was

holding anything but sherry. Don't think its very ladylike, she said. Tuuli said nothing.

After about an hour, when no one had said a word to Kaisa or Tuuli, and after they'd

had three glasses of the sickly-tasting sherry, they decided it was time to leave. We

don't have to say goodbye to the ambassador and his wife, do we? Tuuli said. She'd

been talk ng about going to the university disco. Kaisa didn't have time to reply. A large

group of men,all wearing Navy uniforms with flashes of gold braid, burst through the door, laughingand chatting.

They went straight for the makeshift bar at the end of the large room.

Space was filled with noise and Kaisa and Tuuli were pushed deeper into their corner.

Suddenly a tall, slim man in a British Navy uniform stood in front of Kaisa. He had

their sent eyes she'd ever seen. He reached out his hand, How do you do?' Ouch, Kaisa

said and pulled her hand away quickly electrician her an electric and Gaz Heathered d

and gazed other. Sorry!' he said but kept staring those eyes with those eyes. She looks

down look down at the floor, who seemed, who seemed unconcerned by this sudden of

foreign, uniformed men around them. What's your name?'Kaise Niemi'He cocks version

ear, 'Sorry?" It took the Englishman along time to learn to pronounce Kaisa's Finnish

She laughed at his failed attempts to make it sound at all Inauthentic, but he didn't

give up. Eventually, when happy with his pronunciation, introduceduced himself to

Kaisa and Tuuli, Peter Williams. He then tapped the shoulders of two of his shipmates

one was as tall as him but with fair hair, the other much shorter, older man. Awkwardly

they all shook hands, while the dark Englishman continued to stare didn't want he

didn't know what to say or where to put her she smoothed down her dress, while he

took a swiga large alarge glass of beer. Suddenly he noticed Kempty harndsy hands,

May I get you a drink? What will you have?'Sherry, she hated the taste of it but could

thoughts ht what else to ask for.

So is it always this cold in Helsinki?' the short man asked. Kaisa explained that in the winter it was worse, there'd be snow soon, but that in summer it was really warm. He nodded but didn't seem to be listening to her. She tried to get her friend's attention but Tuuli was in the middle of a conversation with the blonde guy. Kaisa was oddly relieved when Peter returned. He was carrying a tray full of drinks and very nearly spilt the mall when someone knocked him from behind. Everyone laughed. Peter's eyes met Kaisa's. 'You're still here!' he said and handed her a drink. It was as if he'd expected her to have escaped. Kaisa looked around the suddenly crowded room. Even if she'd decided to leave, it would have been difficult to fight her way to the door. The throng of people forced Pete to stand close to Kaisa. The rough fabric of his uniform touched her bare arm. He looked at Kaisa. He asked what she did; she told him about her studies at the school of Economics. He said he was a sub-lieutenant on the British ship. Kaisa found it was easy to talk to this foreign man. Even though her English was at times faltering, they seemed to understand each other straightaway.

They laughed at the same jokes. Kaisa wondered if this is what it would be like to have a brother. She had an older sister but had always envied friends with male siblings. It would be nice to have a boy to confide in, someone who knew how other boys thought, what they did or didn't like in a girl. An older brother would be there to protect you, while a younger brother would admire you. Kaisa looked around what had been a group of them and noticed there was just Peter and her left in the corner of the room. She asked where her friend was. Peter took hold of her arm and pointed, 'Don't worry. I think she's. She saw a group of Finnish naval officers. Tuuli was among them, drinking beer and laughing. When the music started, Peter asked Kaisa to dance. There were only two other couples on the small parquet floor. One she recognised as the Finnish Foreign Minister and his wife, a famous model, now too old for photoshoots but still envied for her dress sense and beautiful skin. She wore a dark lacy top and a skirt, not an evening gown, Kaisa noticed to her relief. The woman's hair was set up into a complicated do, with a few long black curls framing her face. They bounced gently against her tanned skin as she pushed her head back and laughed at something her minister husband said. Peter took hold of Kaisa's waist and she felt the heat of his touch through the thin fabric of her dress. She looked into his dark eyes and for a moment they stood motionless

in the middle of the dance floor. Slowly he started to move Kaisa felt dizzy. The room spun in front of her eyes and she let her body relax in the Englishman's arms.  You dance beautifully,' he said. Kaisa smiled, 'So do you' He moved his hand lower down Kaisa's back squeezed her bottom.

You mustn't,' Kaisa said, not able to contain her laughter. She removed his hand and whispered, "That's the foreign Minister and his famous wife. They'll see!'Ok, he nodded and lazily glanced at the other couples on looked after a few steps, Kaisa again felt his hand drop down towards the right cheek of her backside. She tutted and moved it back up. He must be very young, Kaisa thought. When the music stopped, Peter put her hand in the crook of his arm and led her away from the dance floor. He found1two plush chairs by a fireplace in a smaller room. It had windows overlooking a groomed garden. As soon as they sat down, a gong rang for food.

You must be hungry,' Peter said, and not waiting for a reply got up, 'I'll get you a selection. He made Kaisa promise to stay where she was and disappeared into the queue of people. She felt awkward sitting alone, marking the time until Peter's return. She could feel the eyes of the ladies she'd seen earlier in the evening upon her. Kaisa smoothed down her dress again and looked at her watch: it was ten past eleven already. She saw Tuuli in the doorway to the larger room. She was holding hands with a Finnish naval officer, smiling up at him.

Quickly Kaisa walked towards them. 'Are you going? Wait, I'll come with you. She was relieved that she didn't have to leave alone. Tuuli looked at the Finnish guy, then at her friend,  Umm, I'll call you tomorrow?'Kaisa felt stupid. 'Ah, yes, of course.' She waved her

friend goodbye. Peter reappeared, balancing two glasses of wine and two huge platefuls of food in his hands.   I didn't know what you liked, he said, grinning. He led Kaisa back to the plush chairs. She watched a Wolfff down cocktail sausages, slices of ham, and potatoes salad he'd never been fed. He emptied his plate and said, 'Aren't you  hungry?'Kaisa shook her head. She wasn't sure if it was the formal surroundings or all the sherry she'd drunk, but she couldn't even think about food. All she could do was sip the wine. She leant back in her chair and Peter sat forward his. He touched her knee. His touch was like a current running through her body.

You OK?'Kaisa felt she could sink into the dark pools of the Englishman's eyes. she shook her head, trying to shed the spell this foreigner had cast over her, 'A bit drunk, I think peter laughed at that. He put the empty plate away and lit a cigarette. He studied her for a moment. 'You're lovely, do you know that?'Kaisa blushed. They sat and talked by the fireplace. The heat of the flames burned the side of Kaisa's arm, but she didn't want to move. While they talked Peter gazed at her intently as if trying to commit the whole of her being to memory. Kaisa found this both flattering and frightening. She knew she shouldn't be here with this foreign man like this.  Once or twice one of Peter's shipmates came and exchanged a few words with him. There was an Englishwoman he seemed to know very well. He introduced her to Kaisa and laughed at something she said. Then he turned back to Kaisa, and the woman moved away.

Kaisa liked the feeling of owning Peter, having all his attention on her. She found she could tell him her life story. He, too, talked about his family in southwest England. He had brother and sister, both a lot older than him, 'My birth wasn't exactly planned, he smiled.

Neither was mine! My parents made two mistakes, der st my sister, then me,' Kaisa said and laughed. Peter looked surprised as if she'd told him something bad. Tt's OK,' she said.  He took her hands in his and said, 'Can I see you again?  After tonight, I mean?'Please don't, she pulled away from his touch.

An older officer, with fair, thinning hair, came into the room Peter got rapidly onto his feet. Good evening, the man nodded to Kaisa and said something, in a low tone, to Peter. Yes, Sir, Peter replied.  Who was that?' Kaisa asked.' Listen, something's happened. I have to go back to the ship.  Kaisa looked at her watch; it was nearly midnight.  Peter leant closer and held her hands. 'I must see you

again it'ss not possible. She lowered her gaze away from the intense glare of his eyes.'  I'm only in Helsinki for another three days, he insisted.

Kaisa didn't say anything for a while. His hands around her felt strong and she didn't want to pull away. Look, I have to go. Can I at least phone you?"She hesitated, 'No.'  His eyes widened, 'Why not?'It's impossible. Kaisa didn't know what else to say.  Why do you say that?' Peter leant closer to her shoulder feels warm breath on her cheek when he whispered into her ear, 'Nothing is impossible.  People were leaving. Another officer came to tell Peterheadad to go.

 Turning close to Kaisa again he said, 'Please? Kaisa heard herself say, 'Do you have a pen?   Peter tapped his pockets, then scanned the now empty tables. He looked everywhere, asked a waiter carrying atray full of glasses, but no one had a pen. Kaisa dug in her hand around a pink lipstick. "You can use this, I

guess.  Peter took a paper napkin from a table and she scrawled her number on it. Then, with the final bits of lipstick, he wrote his name and his address on HMSN castle on the back of Kaisa's invitation to the party.  Outside, on the steps of the embassy, all the officers from Peter's ship were gathered, waiting for something. The blonde guy Kaisa and Tuuli had met earlier in the

evening nodded to her and, touching his cap, smiled knowingly She wondered if he thought she and Peter were now an item. She could see many of the other officers give her sly glances. It was as if outside, on the steps of the embassy, she'd entered another world -the domain of their ship. As the only woman among all the men, she felt shy and stood closer to Peter. He took this to be a sign, and before she could stop him, he'd taken off his cap and bent down to kiss her lips. He tasted of mint and cigarettes. For

a moment Kaisa kissed him back; she didn't want to pull away.

When finally Peter let go, everybody on the steps cheered. Kaisa was embarrassed and breathless.  You shouldn't have done that, she whispered.  Peter looked at her and smiled, 'Don't worry, they're just jealous.' He led her through the throng of people and down steps towards a waiting taxi call you tomorrow, he whispered and opened the car door.  When the taxi moved away, Kaisa saw Peter wave his cap. She told the driver her address and leant back in the seat. She touched her lips.

The dark Helsinki streets whizzed past. The city looked different; it had taken on a magical air. The taxi seemed to fly through the neighbourhoods. As they left the Esplanade Park behind them, the driver crossed the normally busy Mannerheim Street, now deserted, and rattling over the tramlines, began the climb up the hill on Lönnrot Street. Kaisa loved

the Jugendstil buildings in and around the centre of Helsinki. Their ornate facades, built at the turn of the century, and pale coloured walls dominated the landscape. Shed dreamt of living in one of the round towers, like a princess surveying the people on the streets below. she wished all of Helsinki was built in the same style, instead of ugly modern structures in glass and steel. Turning into a small street, the taxi slowed, and Kaisa wound down the

window to get some air. Here, on top of the hill, even though you couldn't yet see the sea surrounding the city,  you could smell it. As the taxi crossed the bridge to Lauttasaari Island and made its way towards Kaisa's flat, she wondered what it would be like to live in the city itself rather than in the suburbs. It wouldn't have to be a Jugendstil house, if truth be told, she'd be equally happy to live in the more modern

buildings off Mannerheim Street, where Tuuli lived. Her flat was close to Hanken and had large windows and tall ceilings. How wonderful it would be to walk up the hill to lectures, or if it was raining, take the tram. The number 3bstopped right outside Tuuli's block. But rented flats were hard to come by in Helsinki. Kaisa was lucky to have

somewhere within the city limits. Besides, Lauttasaari was a well-to-do area, and she had a separate bedroom, a balcony with a partial sea view, as well as a small kitchenette, so she really shouldn't complain.

At home in the empty flat, Kaisa felt inexplicably lonely. Her heart was still pounding when she got undressed and climbed into bed. Suddenly she jumped up and went to put

the chain across the front door. For a moment Kaisa listened for steps outside. It was dead quiet. She got back into bed and pulled the covers up to her chin. The streetlight shone through the Venetian blinds and formed a familiar zigzag pattern on the walls of her bedroom. What had she donned She'd given a man - a foreigner - her tele-

phone number and she'd let him kiss her. Now sober, Kaisa knew she wouldn't be able to see him again. What she'd done was bad enough already. Not only had she let him think she was free, but she'd also betrayed her fiancé. A cold shiver went through her body when she thought what Mat his mother would say if she knew.

Peter had hardly slept. The divers hadn't finished searching under the hull of the ship until the early hours of the morning. The excitement had made him sober up pretty quickly after the party at the British Embassy. Perhaps the Duty Officer had been a little jumpy calling them back when it was probably only seagulls fighting over pieces of bread in the water. But, as the Captain had told them, any suspicious activity was to be taken very seriously during this visit. By all accounts, the Russians had a more or less free hand in Helsinki, so who knew what they might try. Peter knew he shouldn't have had so much to drink on the first night ashore, but what could you do when you were required to attend three cocktail parties in one evening? He stretched his legs over the narrow bunk and smiled;  someone had to do it. Who'd have thought the cuts in the navy's budget would have such an effect on his personal first visit to Finland by the Royal Navy since the Cold War started was supposed to include three ships, but in the event only Peter '  had been sent to this small coun-try bordering the Soviet Union. It was pathetic - embarrass signet the Russians are laughing into their samovars this morning,

All the same, this was the closest to visiting a country behind the Iron Curtain Peter

would ever get, so he was planning to make the most of it. It has been a member since t t wasn't that he'd not taken heed of the Captain's talk about honey traps, but Peter believed in the old proverb,

you only live once. This was the most exciting trip of Lindvall career so far and he was sure he'd spot a KGB agent a mile off, however beautiful she was. And he could keep his mouth shut, he was sure of that too.

Last night Peter almost wished the Russians planted something -one of those mini-subs they kept hearing about - under HMS Newcastle. He could see the news-

paper headlines, 'Brave Royal Navy officer Peter Williams dis-

covers Soviet mini-sub in the Baltic' with a picture of himself from his early Dartmouth days. Of course, it would not have been him - as a sub-lieutenant, he was one of the low-

est ranking officers on board. He'd only left Dartmouth a few weeks ago, after all. And he wasn't even a diver. But thee image of him as a hero was irresistible. Something like that would have impressed the girl last night. He got up swiftly and found his mess undress jacket. The napkin was still there in the pocket, with the telephone number scrawled on it. Still legible - just. He took a long, deep drag on his cigarette and blew smoke to the side, away from his bunk

At noon Peter thought it would be a good time to calththerl. He had nearly an hour until he was on duty again.  He walked along the gangway to the wardroom. It's lover boy!' The older officer grinned. Collins was only jealous; his a wife looked like a bulldog chewing thistle But Peter liked the guy - although not his wife who,

at the last cocktail party in Portsmouth, had tried to flirt with me. He grinned at the lieutenant and lifted the receiver. He felt a pleasant twinge in his groin when he heard the phone ringing at the other end. She'd really been quite lovely. He thought back to the night before and knew she'd been smitten by him too. The phone kept ringing at thee another ended.

Your bit of foreign fluff not at home?' Collins said. He dialled again, making sure he got each digit right, and pulling the long cord with him took a step out of the

mess and out of earshot of the older man. He tried the number four times, but there was no answer. He was standing in the gangway and was about to pass him a second time and gave him a knowing look. It seemed everyone on board was talking about him and the pretty Finnish girl. There was nothing for it - he'd try ringing again after his four-hour watch on the quarterdeck.

Two days after the embassy party was a cold autumn day. The single tree outside Kaisa's block of flats had long since lost its leaves - it stood there, desolate, trying to survive the stormy winds from the Baltics that beat its tender trunk. She sighed as she watched its struggle from the narrow window of her kitchenette.  Living alone in a flat in Helsinki had seemed a glamorous year ago. Now the beige walls of the one-bedroomed place in Lauttasaari seemed restricting. The flat, which belonged to her boyfriend's family, wasn't even in Helsinki proper. There was a bus service but it took almost an hour to reach the city centre. While Tuuli could walk to Hanken, she was forced to memorise bus schedules and carefully plan her trips into the city. She was always late for lectures. When the phone rang she jumped.'Hello?  Kaisa heard the familiar voice at the other end of the

line and sat down on a kitchen chair she'd placed next to the hall table. 'No Matti, I'm not feeling any better.

She took the receiver away from her ear and looked at her reflection in the mirror above the table. Was this the face of a cheat? She listened to her boyfriend talk about thee

British ship he could see from his office window. Matti worked as a customs officer at the South Harbour. Kaisa tried to sound nonchalant. 'You can see the English people coming and going?' she asked.

Yes, their uniforms are very smart Kaisa's mouth felt dry. She couldn't speak. The thought

of Matti looking at the deck of the British ship and possibly seeing Peter walk along it made her feel dizzy. You still there?' Matti said. she could hear the irritation in his voice.

Englishmen are boring, Kaisa had told Matti when he'd called her the fourth time on the eve of the party. She knew he was desperately jealous of her and would have

forbidden her to go if he'd been able to. Now she almost laughed at her own words to her boyfriend. Oh, what a mess she'd got herself into. Perhaps Matti had been right,

perhaps she should never have gone to the embassy party.  Yes, I'm here,' Kaisa said. It took her over ten minutes to convince him that she was still ill. Matti had phoned the day before, and she'd had to put on a throaty voice to stop him from coming over. Kaisa just couldn't see him, not yet. She felt bad because she'd never lied to Matti like this before.

When he finally let her go, and she'd replaced the avocado coloured receiver, Kaisa realised the embassy party had been the first time she'd been out without her fiancé

since they got engaged. And that hadn't really been going out either - not in the way her friend from university would call going out. When Kaisa first met Tuuli, on the first day of term in the autumn of last year, her friend had been surprised to see the ring on the finger of her left hand.