My name is Rosie Monsoon. I am 16 yrs old,currently in Josephat Academy High in Queens,London. My elder sister, Sophia and my cousin,Adrian study here too. I am on my somophore year while Sophia and Adrian are in their final year. I have had a long-time crush on Adrian. He was so handsome with his curly night-black hair. His blue eyes were very alluring,together with his perfect body. Every girl in school wanted him for a boyfriend.

I had this constant feat of losing him so,when I was 10, I confessed my love to him. He only looked at me and laughed saying," You are too young to know what love is. What you feel now will just pass with time."

Then he walked away. I stood on that spot for a long time.

"How did he know that my love for him would fade with time?How is he so sure about that?How?" I wondered.

That was when I made a promise to love him and only him forever. I would show him that my love was true and everlasting. I thought that doing such a thing would make him notice me and my love for him. Thus,I bided my time and after 2 years, I stood infront of the family gathering,one Sunday and poured my heart out. My parents were furious saying that I disgraced them and ruined their honour infront of everyone.

"What have you done! You have disgraced us. We have no face to show anyone now!"

I was grounded for two months. That time my sister took is as a chance to impress my parents. She became very obedient and studied hard.

"Mom and Dad,don't worry. I am sure to bring you honour. I will never tarnish your reputation like Rosie did."I heard her say.

From that day onwards,I have always been a sore spot for my parents. They even stopped taking me to the family gatherings. I had planned to be quiet ever since and had a low profile in school. I was a loner and was the one being bullied by everyone.

"Wait!"I shouted at the bus as it drove past me.

I was just 2 minutes late. I took to my heels running after the bus like a mad woman. I was waving my hands, hoping that the driver would see me and stop. However, it accelerated even faster leaving me in a cloud of dust. I coughed and gasped for breath as I sat down.

"Another day as a late comer,"I mumbled.

Since Sophia and Adrian were in their final years,my family agreed that they drive to school. I,on the other hand, had to rely on the bus which waited for no one. I struggled to my feet and started walking to school,knowing that I was going to be detained.

"DETENTION!"Mr. Williams shouted at my face as I entered school.

"With pleasure,"I whispered.

When I walked in class,Madam Dorris was already in. She gave a sad smile and turned to face the board. She was the only one who knew about my plight and was always with me during detention.

" Look,it's Miss Ugly!" This was followed by a series of laughter.

"She is so dirty and filthy,"a girl said.

"And smelly,"added another.

"I can't believe that she is Sophia Monsoon' s sister. " The gossip started.

"Sophia,in one hand , is so beautiful but this thing is..." the gossip continued.

"I think she is adopted," someone clarified as if they knew the truth.

I walked to my desk, which was the last,and sat.

"Okay class,so I was saying that the appendix is a vestigial organ in the human body and..." I lost my attention as Madam Dorris' voice slowly fades in the air.

"Was I adopted? " I wondered.

It might be the truth. Sophia was hella hot and sexy. Her blonde hair shone in the sun and her green eyes was a sight to behold. She had a fair complexion and her body was curvy. Whatever she wore looked good on her; even her pyjamas.

I, had brown hair which were wild. They don't fall onto my shoulders after all the methods I do. My eyes were brown and always surrounded by dark circles even after having 8 hours of sleep. I was fat; caused by overeating alone at home when everyone is the family gathering. My body was shapeless; in short,I am like a puff fish.

I knew this day was gonna suck the moment I was left by the bus and it did. I was thrown a burger right on my face,my shirt was smeared with ketchup and bucketful of water was poured on me. By the time I was going for my detention, I was a dirty smelly wet ugly girl. And all this cruelty was done in the presence of my dearest sister. At a point,it did hurt very badly.

Madam Dorris was already waiting for me with tomes of books. She had offered to tutor me during detention. I sat across her and I knew that she was stifling a laugh.

"Don't even ask," I sternly said.

After a whole hour, we collected our books and walked for home in our separate ways. By the time I reached home, I was beat.

"Is this the time..." My mom started shouting.

"Detention,"I cut her off and walked past her to my room and slammed it shut.

I cleaned myself and head down for dinner. Today, was exceptionally quiet. Usually,My sister had alot to talk about and brag but she seemed in deep thought. I knew she was planning something.

"Everyone,I got something to say,"Sophia said.

I knew she had something up on her sleeves. A chatterbox will always be a chatterbox.

"It's about Adrian and I. We are dating."She said with a smile.

"Adrian and I are dating,"Sophia said.

I almost choked on my saliva. My poor heart slipped a beat. By the looks of my parents,they seemed happy for her. My mom had a big smile on her face. As I stared at the trio, I felt angry. Really angry to the point that my face turned red. I tried to control the pain and anguish in my heart but to no avail. A certain throbbing pain was what I sensed in my heart. I felt deceived and forlorn.

Lacking control on my anger,I slammed the table and stood up. Both my parents and Sophia looked at me in shock. Tears were at the verge of falling but I held on.

"How dare you!"I screamed at Sophia,"You knew I liked him from the beginning yet you jumped into a relationship with him. You are a shame to sisterhood."I added.

All I could see was red. My parents hasn't recovered from the shock due to my sudden reaction. I could visible see that Sophia was starting to get mad. She clenched her hands into fists and gave me a death glare. I didn't care at all. I knew that Adrian couldn't ask her out. She was the one who kept pestering him to date each other. My sister was as adamant as a mule. She always tried getting what she wanted. She did always get what she wants.

"It was Adrian who asked me out,okay. Moreover,he doesn't want you but me even if you harbour a mountainful of love for him.,"she said.

"Liar!!!"I shouted.

"Okay, that's enough!!!"Boomed my dad's voice.

"Rosie,go back to your room. NOW!"My mom said.

"But..."

"Go to your room!!" My father interrupted.

I took a last glance of my sister. She was in tears and was hugging my mother. I pushed my chair backwards and rushed to my room. I was angry,very angry. I started throwing things and smashing them. I didn't care at all. I felt suffocated here. I just wanted to run away to some other place. I wanted to be on my own rather than such a family whose parents are partisan. I realised that from that day that the gap between my sister and I had greatly increased. And that the bond which I had once shared with my parents was weakened to the point of it breaking.

I eventually started eating dinner alone. Both of my parents didn't converse with me;which was the least I could care. I was a loner,officially. I kept to myself and every single night,i cried as I stargazed. I concluded that I needed to be strong and resilient. I hardened my will but my heart couldn't. Each time I see Sophia and Adrian together,my heart ached.

I started waking up early and arrived at the bus stop earlier. The driver started noticing me and even smiles at me. I realised that one shouldn't cling to those who reject and detest them. I started making friends who were passengers in the bus. I began feeling happy and smiled after three months. However, I had fun in school. Those who bullied me stopped. It all started when a girl pulled my hair as I was walking down the corridor.

I slapped her so hard that she banged herself accidentally on the lockers. Knowing that I would be in trouble, I threatened her. That was when some girls passed by and overheard my strings of threats and when they observed the wounded girl, they concluded it was my doing.

Rumours spread around like wild fire eating on a dry grass. Sophia came asking to clarify.

"Rosie did you really do that?"She asked,eyes wide.

"So what if I did it,why should it concern you?"I answered rudely.

"Rosie, you beat a girl to a pulp and you don't regret it. You are so inhumane."She reprimanded.

I was shocked. I,Rosie beat someone till she was taken to a hospital? Wow ,such are the rumours. I couldn't even hurt a fly. But when it was evident that the bullying ceized due to those words, I took it as a blessing from God. Madam Dorris laughed when I told her the whole story. She knew that I couldn't harm someone to an extent of sending them to a hospital. But all is well that ends well.

I was free from the bullying and the days seemed to rush. Weeks passed like flowing river water, followed by months. Sophia and Adrian sat for their final exams. I had finished mine and I came out as first. My parents were surprised. Sophia said I cheated and they seem to believe that but I stayed silent. I decided that I attend the library during the holidays to boost my grades. I had a purpose now. I wanted to be an oncologist(cancer therapist).

Such a course required strong grades and I wanted to achieve them. In the meantime, the results were out. Sophia performed average while Adrian excelled in flying colours. Sophia could only attend college whilst Adrian was qualified for university. Nevertheless, a party was thrown and once again, I didn't attend it. Not that I was grounded or something,but it was my choice. My parents were pissed off. They wanted me to attend but I declined. It was indeed a payback for the last time.

So, throughout the holiday, I was in the library except a week before and after Christmas. The family gathering,this time was at our place. It was packed with relatives and foods and sweets.Gifts were exchanged and it wasn't surprising that my parents forgot to but one for me. But some aunts bought for me sweater, cardigan and a pink teddy bear. I didn't want anything to ruin my happiness.

Moreover, I thought it as a chance to speak to Adrian,who had a leech clinging onto him called Sophia. But when I saw him alone, i dragged him to a secluded corner.

"Rosie, what the hell are you doing?"He protested.

"I love you. Very much Adrian. Why can't you see that? I am willing to do anything for you. Why did you agree when Sophia asked you out? Please,give me a chance."I pleaded.

"I can't,okay. Sophia is pestered me to date her and you want me to accept your love. I can't." He sighed.

"Why can't you love me back?" I was on the verge of bursting into a cry.

"Because you are worthless," came Sophia's angry voice.

She was fuming and frothing like an erupting volcano. Both Adrian and I were shocked to see her.

"How dare you!"She shouted as she strode towards us huffing and puffing like a charging bull.

Sophia walked towards me and slapped me hard on the face. Adrian was yanked to her side. I felt tears prickling my eyes.

"I know that you are a slut!Adrian doesn't love you. Why can't you let that sink into your thick skull?He is mine!" She bellowed.

Her busts of anger drew my parents and a smaall crowd. They were all startled.

"Girls,what's wrong?"Asked my mother.

None of us spoke. Silence engulfed us,making the air thicken with tension.

"Adrian,can you please tell me what's going on?" Mrs.Knight asked her son.

"Okay then,it seems you won't talk right? Sophia,you are grounded." My dad said.

"What!No way!It's actually Rosie's fault. She was seducing Adrian and telling him to dump me!"She said in sobs.

I could hear gasps of shock in the crowd,followed by murmurs.

"Rosie,is it true?"My mom questioned.

"Is it true?"She raised her voice.

"Now,now honey. It's Christmas. Let's talk about it later. We have guests remember?"Dad tried reasoning out with her.

"Rosie,go to your room and don't leave till we tell you so,"dad said.

I quickly rushed to my room,crying in full force. This was the worst Christmas ever. I wanted to strangle myself to death. I felt humiliated. Anyway,it was my fault. I knew the consequences of trying to snatch Sophia's things. But I foolishly gave it a shot. I couldn't have Adrian. He was out of my reach now. I gave up on him. Love is toxic,you know.

I felt so dead inside. I was tired of crying. My eyes could only stare out in space. I felt weak and pathetic and worthless. I felt exhausted and slowly,i drifted off to sleep. After that incident,I was declared as immoral by my family. None of my cousins were allowed to talk to me. It was contagious;this disease known as lack of shame. I was even diagnosed with a chronic infection;immoral. It's amazing how people can become doctors in an instant.

Anyways,the holiday passed and school was opened. I felt excited. I missed Madam Dorris so much. And now that Sophia wasn't there,it was the only place where I could be myself. I deliberately made myself late so that the lessons with Madam Dorris could continue. I began to be noticed by the teachers. To most of them,I was an outstanding student;after passing the end yeat exam. But to the Disciplinary Teacher, I was a nuisance.

The poor guy hates me to the guts. Whenever he sees me,he glances me like a rotten egg. Indeed I was rotten in many ways. So, school began and my chance of happiness had finally reached. I was carefree and even got interested with sports;especially volleyball. The coach recommended me to join but I declined. Running round an 800 metre field was enough for me though.

Things at school were indeed falling to place but home became home no more. Sophia and my parents solitated me in my room. I was like a cholera patient. Geez, even supper,i had to cook for myself. I never complained.Why should I when I am learning to cook different meals. I became a pro in cooking. I knew how to make biryani, Chinese rice and even rice dumplings. The latter were yummy.

Throughout the year, I lost some considerable amount of fat. However, I was still fat. Maybe, I was meant to be fat;live and die as a fatty. The year went on smoothly;having miNina interactions with both Sophia and Adrian. Sophia attended a college just afew kilometres away from home. Adrian went to campus and returned at the end of his semester. They were still dating. Their relationship seemed strong and resilient against huge waves of long distance.

I didn't care the least but Sophia was still hostile. Meanwhile,the results for the final exam were out. I had surpassed the expectations of all the teachers;which were quite high. I was a famous badass nerd. My parents were happy to the extent of congratulating me. Sophia gritted her teeth whenever we crossed paths. She became more hostile. We were like India and Pakistan,America and Al-Qaeda. I tried smiling at her but that drove her mad. I really don't understand her.

"Your smile makes me sick,"she clarified.

Sick? Was I suffering from leprosis? God,she took me as a louse. Christmas came and we were meant to gather at Adrian's house. I refused to attend. It was like taking a risk. I didn't want the past events to be repeated. So,I had the whole house for my own.

I put my headphones and listen to Ed Sheeran.I ran wild around the house. Jumped on the couches like a toddler. I had fun all alone. I vowed to never expect happiness from someone. I believed that one bestows happiness by themselves and that was what I did. Also, the following year was my final year and there would be work and tension. I took it to myself to have all the fun now and get serious then.By the time my parents and Sophia returned,the house was a complete wreck. And by that time,I was fast asleep. Mom had no chance to reprimand me and by morning,she would have long forgotten.

In no time,school was opened and it being my final year,I wanted to work extra hard. Push myself to the edge. Madam Dorris still lends me her support.She is the most important person in my life. I never could have reach here without her encouragement and guidance. I knew that I would nail it. We were constantly tested and revision was done to the maximum. May seemed a few breaths away.

"Mrs. Monsoon,could you please follow me to my office,"Mr. Brown,the headteacher,told me one fine morning.

I was scared,I had to admit. Is he gonna expel me due to my lateness? Was I incompetent to attend this school? Questions flowed into my mind, making me dizzy. The walk to his office was accompanied with tormenting silence. I kept fidgeting with my fingers and chewing my lips.

"God,what is the problem?"I wondered in dismay.

"Ahem!"He cleared his throat to gain my attention as he sat on his chair.

"Mrs.Monsoon,please sit." I quickly sat down on a comfy leather chair across him.

"Rosie Monsoon,right?" He asked.

I nodded in agreement.

"You are an outstanding student indeed. All the teachers are impressed and display positive remarks. Especially the late...,"he stopped abruptly.

Was he gonna say the latest or the latter? What was he intending to say? He wasn't even maintaining eye contact. He wasn't a bearer of good news.

"I am sad to inform you that Madam Dorris is no more. I know that you and her were so close. You were each other's confidants. She talked so fondly of you. She had diabetes and knew her state. We urged her to undertake medication but she refused. It's such a sad state of affair. She was a very good teacher. There is a letter she wrote to you when she was in the hospital. Please take it,"he said in a sad tone.

My heart was beating rapidly. Short breaths came out of me. When he said that she was no more, my heart stopped. My surrounding became hazy. My mouth was wide open but no sound came out. I just took the letter and walked out of the room after mumbling a thank you.

I didn't want to be in school so I ditched my classes and ran to a nearby park. I had a secret spot which was hidden by bushes and had an amazing view of a wide pond. I sat myself down and scrambled to open the letter. I tore it open.

"Dearest Rosie..." It began.