Here I am again, scrolling on my feed and I’m so bored. I have nothing to do because we don’t have class but we have a lot of assignments and I’m too lazy to do it so I’m just here lying on my bed and continuing to scroll in my Facebook feed not until someone texted me.

“Hello babe, Good Morning. I love you”

“Morning” I replied.

I don’t know but now a part of me wants to be far away from him and I don’t know why I am acting like this. He’s my boyfriend alright. I love him a lot but sometimes I am wondering if I truly love him or if he loves me the way I love him. I am bad right? I just can’t understand myself I can say that I love him but there’s part of me that longing for something and I don’t know what is it. I'm not like this before.

I decided to put my phone on my bedside table and I close my eyes and pray. I don’t know what should I do with him now. When I opened my eyes I felt relaxed and I know God will help me with my problem.

Before I forgot, my name is Akleigsha Marie Salvador. I am 18 years old and taking up Science, Technology, Engineering Mathematics at Harrison University. Honestly speaking, I am not fond of mathematics or science. I’m such an idiot when it comes to it but here I am taking up of it and having my mind wander every class because I can’t understand the lessons.

The time now is 9:30 am and here I am lying on my bed and don’t care about the things I need to finish. Well as a model student like me you should do your work a day before the deadline wherein you’ll truly rush yourself to finish it. Just kidding. Well, it is better that you have something to pass than none right?.

I admit that I am too lazy when it comes to studying but it doesn’t mean I am truly an idiot I can score more than average if I’m truly committed to it except for mathematics, of course, I accept that when it comes to mathematics and physics I can’t get my mind working just looking at those numbers makes me sleepy. I want to stop schooling but I know studying is for myself and I know that I can only help myself in the future. It’s my senior year and next year I’ll welcome myself as a college student.

And because I have nothing to do I called my boyfriend.

“Babe, let’s have a date”

“Hello, babe, Where to?”

“Hmm, let’s go to cybernoia”

“Right now?”

“Yeah”

“Alright, I’ll just prepare myself then I’ll pick you up okay? I love you”

“Hmm, no need to pick me up. I’ll drive my car. See you”

I hung up and put my phone back on the table and went to the bathroom to take a bath. If you noticed I did not reply when he says I love you because for me I love you is not a question that you need to answer. I'm not always like that I do reply sometimes. Hope you understand.

*a few minutes later*

Time 10:30 am

I’m already here in our meeting place. I’m waiting for him. Do you want to know what kind of place our meeting place is? This place is the hangout ground of our buddies we always went here after lunch and after class. Cybernoia is a computer café near our school. Well, my buddies love to play online games and they influence me too. I can’t tell if they are a bad influence on me or not. LOL. But for me, they’re good friends of mine. I was able to come out of my comfort zone because of them.

So while waiting for him I entered the shop and log-in my membership account. I decided to purchase my membership account last year because before I always went to the counter if my time runs out and sometimes I can’t finish all my time but I need to pay the fixed price. I’m not short of money but having membership accounts has a lot of benefits like extra hours, and a point system, also you can save your time if you log out. Minutes passed but he was still not here I decided to watch Youtube. I’m not the type of girl who loves to wait and my patience is really limited but I have no choice but to wait for him.

*After a while*

“Hey, babe, how long have you waited? I’m sorry the traffic is so bad on my way here” He said while coming close to me. He kissed me on my cheeks and there it is I felt nothing when he kissed my cheeks. It’s not like this before. What’s wrong with me? Before just a kiss on my hand, I’m already happy.

Well finally he’s here, He has his usual get-up and perfume but his smell has a mixture of female scents on it. I get it my nose is like a dog. I looked at his face, his lips is so red like he eat something spicy.

I smiled “Well it’s okay I understand that TRAFFIC IS SO BAD and your unit is VERY VERY FAR FROM HERE~” I checked my time it was already noon I waited for him for more than an hour. His unit is only 30 minutes away from here how bad is the traffic?. tsk

“Did you have your lunch?” he nodded

“Well is she delicious?” I asked him. I lowered my voice when I said she.

“What?” he asked in confusion

“Your lunch” I answered back

“Well of course it is delicious” he smiled wildly.

“I’m hungry”

“You haven’t eaten your lunch yet?”

“of course dear. I have been waiting for you here. I thought you would love to have lunch with me. I didn’t expect that you had already eaten your lunch” I smiled to hide my irritation.

“Well I’m sorry, I didn’t know that you were waiting for me here if I had known I rush here for you” he replied to me. I maintained my smile. It’s always like this I’m used to it. He’s not like this before. What has changed?.

“Babe don’t be mad at me, okay? I love you. Let’s go eat. I’ll be with you” He said while holding my hand.

“Okay let’s go, I love you too”. The mall is just a walking distance of our hanging ground so we decided to go to it. I choose to eat on Javii because I’m craving chicken and fries. “Can you order for me? I want some chicken and fries” I asked him

“ahm, well babe can you line up and just order for yourself? I will just find some spot for us to sit” just as I thought this will be his response. It’s not like this before /mentally sighed/. I decided to line up and order OUR food and went to the spot where he is sited.

After a while “What are you looking at?” I asked him because he kept on staring at me.

“Nothing, it’s just because you’re too beautiful” he answered while smiling but then I know that smile is fake, we’ve been together for more than a year so I already know this gesture of his. What can I do? I still have feelings for him.

When our order arrived we just silently ate our food. No sweet talks like before, and I am starting to get scared. I’m scared that I will lose him in an instant. I decided to ignore this feeling again.

After we finished eating. We decided to watch a horror movie. I love horror but I am easily to be scared but not to the point that I’ll jump off my seat. We bought popcorn and drinks before we enter the cinema. But unlike before, I felt so different, the female scent mixed with his perfume worsen my mood. I can’t enjoy the movie anymore.

I can’t focus on the movie because of the voices in my head. I can’t ignore it but I felt sad about it. Did I fall out of love? I want an answer but I can’t answer myself if I do nothing. I looked at him and then hugged him even though there was this scent lingering around him.

He circled his arm around me and asked “are you okay?” I felt relieved when he asked that I can hear the worry in his voice “yes I’m okay” I replied still I can’t stop imagining things. I’m slightly disappointed because the movie already ended but I did not enjoy it.

After the movie, we decided to go to the arcade-like we used to. I’m trying my best to act like we have no problem at all. Well, we have no problem at all. I am the one who has a problem I can’t help myself but doubt him. At least in this part of our date, I enjoy it. I love playing arcades but when I’m here I love to play basketball. We used up all our tokens so we decided to leave and because we bring our own car we bid each other goodbye and went home.

After I arrived I directly went to my room to change my clothes and lay on my bed. I’m figuring out I can’t ignore everything until the end. I decided to open my phone and decided to open my messenger. I am planning to chat with him but then an ad for an APP suddenly pops up on my screen.

“FoniTalk”

“FoniTalk"

This app felt strange but familiar at the same time. I decided to ignore the AD but after a while, I decided to download it. The app says that you can gain and meet some friends if you use this. After I downloaded it I open the app. I signed up using my email. Then the tutorial starts. This app was so easy to use but it is so boring for me and because of boredom I clicked the setting and I checked the settings you can set your preferred country if you subscribe to premium. I didn’t waste any more time and subscribe and set the country J instead of country P.

I thought that it was a chat room but it is not. It is a video calling app I tried to fix up myself to look presentable to the person on another line well it goods that the app comes with a filter. I know that I’m not that beautiful, I’m not popular at school as my boyfriend, he’s so popular not only because he is handsome but his family is one of the rich families here in our city that’s my boyfriend Alexander Hart. That’s why I receive a lot of hate when he announced our relationship in public. Many girls tried to bully me especially the most popular girl on our campus Charlotte Madden. Charlotte like Alexander so much she can’t accept the fact that Alexander and I are together. She tries to bully me every time she has a chance. I hate being bullied of course but I decided to ignore them I don’t want to waste my time on people who are not worthy of my time well if they can entertain me once in a while why I might consider fighting back?.

Well, let’s continue this storytelling later let’s go back to Fonitalk. How does this app work? Well, all you need to do is swipe to the left to find someone to talk to then swipe to left again if you don’t like the persons who appear on your screen. Let’s try this app if you remembered I chose country J well I don’t know why I chose it. Let’s just start

*Searching for users in J country*

*Connecting…….*

*Connected*

*Say Hello*

Hoshi***

There is it his name that shown is only part of it. Is his name Hoshi? I wonder or maybe it is his pen name.

“Hello” I said then smiled and wave to him

“Hello” he said

“How was your day?” I asked him

“No English, No English” he responds

“Ha?” I asked but I refrain from laughing as a sign of respect for him.

*Your buddy has left*

What?! Did he leave? Am I too ugly for him that he can’t stand seeing my face?

Then it hit me. I remember 4 years ago. Way back when I was in Grade 8 I used this app before. I met someone because of this App. His name is Chia from country M. Good thing he understands English and he is handsomely genius. I still remember having a hard time in my mathematics because as a model student I usually arrived every second period which means it is after our math subject. Don’t be like me because right now I’m regretting it.

Well, back to Chia he becomes my Mathematics tutor. Just cut the language barrier, we talked a lot of days and night but then suddenly I lost connection with him and I felt sad because of that I considered him as my friend and I admired his intelligence.

Because I lost contact with him I have no intention to use FoniTalk anymore, I focused on my studies but one night I was so bored that I tried to use the app again. I gain a new friend. His from country K his name is Jayke, He’s 16 years old. I can say that we clicked right on the spot. We talked for months, I enjoyed his company, he loves to talk a lot.

There was a time when we are on vacation when I decided to go to country K for him. We decided to meet and visit some of the popular places in country K. While we were roaming around he talked a lot about himself and the things that he can’t say to me before. He said that he was a trainee for a boy group and he wants to be an idol and maybe their group will debut a year after.

Then he introduced me to the group. Their group consists of 7 people. They are so friendly I am not fluent in the language of country K but they did not let me feel awkward. I watched their training and I can say that shortly they will be popular.

I’m too young to understand what is like and love but before I went home I decided to muster up my courage and confess what I truly feel to him.

“Hello, guys. You are really good, good luck to all of you. Can I borrow your brother Jayke for a while?” I asked them after their training and practice.

“Yes” “Sure,” they said in unison. These guys are so handsome. I can only scream silently in my head because I need to maintain my image in front of them.

“Jayke, Can we talk in the café near here?” I asked him. I’m so nervous I can feel the sweat in my palms.

“Sure, can you wait for me here? I’ll just take a shower and change my clothes” he said

“Yes sure, I’ll just sit there while waiting for you” I replied to him while pointing to the chair outside the training room. He patted my head then he nodded then smile. I feel my cheeks burned up because of his gesture. I walked out of the room trying hard to calm myself

*Minutes later*

“I’m done, I’m sorry I kept you waiting. Let’s go?” Jayke said while walking towards me. I looked at him and I felt my heart flutters he is so handsome.

“A-alright let’s go” geez what’s with this mouth of mine. We walk towards the café. I can’t help but sniff his smell. His smell is so nice to the nose. After we arrived he asked me to find a sit and he will be the one who will order for us. I just nodded and find a good spot for us. After a while, he came with our order. I didn’t order a cake but he bought it for me. How nice of him

“Thank you for this. I’ll pay you later” I said while smiling

“No need I bought it for you. Don’t worry it’s free I will not ask for money onwards, just enjoy it. It’s one of the best products in the shop. So what do you want to talk about?”

“I-I’m going back to country P” I said straightforwardly.

“Ah, is it time for you to leave? Well I know you’re only here for vacation. So when will you leave?” He asked. I can feel the tension in the air. He is sad that I'm leaving. I am sad too I enjoy being with him.

“My flight is tomorrow morning, I said this because I considered you as a friend and I enjoyed being together with you and your bandmates. I’m happy being here. I hope that you’ll reach your dreams. I’ll always be your number 1 fan. And I think we should stop talking to each other after this.” I forced a smile. He looked so confused. Well, who wouldn’t be?

“Why?” He asked. I looked down then answered “Well maybe because I’m too young and I’m starting to develop a feeling that I don’t understand. I think I’m starting to like you well I admire you before but right now I know it’s different” I looked up to see his reaction after I said this. But he doesn’t react at all!!! Like wtf. I gained the courage to say this to him but he can only stare at my face? Well, can I slap him hard to wake him up?

“And I’m starting to like you too”

Wait, Wait waitttttt!!!!!! Whaaaattttt?? I looked at him with wide eyes. What the h*ck dude? You must be kidding me!!! My heart is beating faster. I guess I’m starting to get deaf. I misheard what he said. /laughing/

“Can you say it again? I think I didn’t hear it”

“I said I am starting to like you too” I didn’t misheard what he said he said he liked me too. Gosh, what should I do now? I guess I’m gonna faint from shock. Just kidding.

So instead of distancing myself from him, the opposite thing happened. He asked me to be his girl that day. I already said that we’re still too young to be in a relationship but he said that it doesn’t matter to him so I accepted his proposal. He became my boyfriend. He tells his bandmates about us and they congratulate us. They decided to throw a farewell party for me that night because I’ll leave the country tomorrow.

*a year later after meeting up*

Well, I can say that these past few months our relationship is going smooth I’m used to his presence to the point that I want to talk to him every time. There are times that I want to skip my class for him but I think that he is also busy that’s why I am trying to focus on a class even though it is so boring. We talked before we go to sleep. I don’t remember fighting with him. We’re okay I love how peaceful and stable our relationship is. I understand that he's trying his best to make time for me. Not until our first anniversary he decided to come here to country P so that we can celebrate it. I’m so happy because after a year we get to see each other again. We went to an amusement park. We tried a lot of rides and lastly, we are here inside the Ferris wheel. The view outside is great the sunset behind him is a perfect view I can say that it suits him. I took out my phone and take a picture with him. I looked at the picture I shot and I took a great shot. He's really handsome

“Let’s break up”

I stopped looking at my phone and looked at him in confusion. I felt that my heart stopped beating. He held my hand and kissed it.

“I don’t want to lose you but I don’t want to hurt you even more. I can’t stand seeing you waiting for my calls and messages in the middle of the night. All I want for you is to be happy even without me. I am sorry if I can’t fulfill my promises. But I want to say that I do love you” he said while lowering his head still holding my hand.

I felt hurt but I don’t want to cry. I held his hand tightly “Even if we are not together I will support you no matter what you did. You are truly great. I am still your number one fan so don’t be sad it’s our first anniversary and it will be our break-up date. Hahah” I bit my lips after I said that. I tried to keep myself calm. “Can I ask a favor? before we part our ways?” He looked at me then he said “What is it?”

“Let’s take a picture together, maybe this will be our last photo as a couple. Please”

“Okay” He take out his phone and I moved beside him we took a picture together I will treasure it. I smiled at him and said “Okay let's break up. You should always be happy. Chase and reach your dreams. I will always support you” I smiled at him. He kissed my forehead and said “Thank you, I hope you will be happy too” he held my hand and we walk off the Ferris wheel.

“Let’s have dinner together” I tag along with him. Well, let’s just enjoy our limited moments together. After dinner, we bid goodbye. He take me home and he went back to his hotel. A day after he went back to his country. I want to accompany him to the airport but he refused. He said that if I'm with him he will be having a hard time leaving.

“I’m too young for this” that’s what I said to myself. After a week he left the country P their group debuted. I continued to support him and I was proud because today they are so famous not only in country K but worldwide. That’s the fruit of their hard work and I am happy because they gain a lot of achievement and recognition. But I felt a bit sad. I don’t know if they still remember the girl who claims to be their no. 1 fan. The girl who loved him despite her age. The girl who keeps on cheering them. The girl whom he said that he’ll love despite his busy schedule. The girl who always supports them. I don’t know if they still remember me. I smiled faintly.

Okay, let’s go back to reality. Stop reminiscing the past. Because of this app, I remembered this funny yet sad past of mine. I didn’t know why I download this app again. I looked at the time it is already late but still, I’m not yet sleepy. I continue to use Fonitalk I swiped, wait, and find someone to talk to but it seems that no one wants to talk to me. Are they afraid of me? Well, do I looked that bad? I just had my bangs, and glasses and tied my hair in a bun. Well I decided to bring back country P as the preferred country.

I turned off my lights so that the other side can’t see me.

“Last swipe. If no one wants to talk to me I’ll just quit and try to get myself to sleep” I took a deep breath then

5

4

3

2

1

I Swiped

*Searching users near you*

*Connecting*

*Connected*

*Say hello*

GRAY***

*Searching users near you*

*Connecting*

*Connected*

*Say hello*

GRAY***

“Hello”

“Hello,” A cold deep voice replied. I can’t see his face because the camera is showing the room only. The room has different kinds of musical instruments.

“Great, How are you? “

“Fine, why are you here?” He asked

“I was just bored. Then ads pop up and I decided to download it. What about you? Why are you using this app?” I answered

“I’m not into this app. It’s my friend's phone. He leave it open when he left. He’ll be here later on... You can talk to him. He just went outside”

“ow, okay. So what are you doing?”

“Waiting for the other guys.”

“Are you a band? Or an idol? I see a lot of musical instruments in the room”

“We’re not an idol but we are a band. We play every festival in our school”

“Woah, so cool!! Well, can you play a song for me?”

“No” he answered back coldly

“oh okay. Well, can I ask what is your name then?” I didn’t insist on him playing a song for me anymore since we were not that close and it’s not like it's his account.

“Well just call me X” he replied.

“X? just the letter X. Is that your real name?” I asked. I guess it is his pseudonym.

“Well, you can say that.” He didn’t ask my name maybe he’s not interested in having a conversation with me. Shall I swipe? No one wants to talk to me either I show or hide my face /sigh/

*A moment of silence*

*Door opening*

“Hey bro! I’m back. Where are the others?” someone asked X.

“Not here” He replied. Well, I guess X is the type of guy who is not fond of speaking.

“Oh? Fonitalk is still running? I thought I quit the app before I left.” I hear footsteps nearing the phone. “Hey bro, are you talking to someone when I was not here?” he asked X

“ Yes,” X replied

“Really? Why is it pitch black? Hello, are you still there?” someone asks then suddenly I saw a guy well I guess he is using the front camera now, Well this guy is handsome I’ll rate him 8/10. What should I do? Shall I reply? Or just quit the app?

“Y-Yeah I’m still here” what the f*ck why I am nervous?

“It’s a lady!!! Bro, you had a conversation with a lady? Really?? It’s new Hahaha” what do you mean by that? Should he talk with a guy instead?. “Ahm miss don’t get a wrong idea, this guy right here doesn’t like to talk a lot so I’m just shocked when he said that he talked to you and knowing that you’re a girl” seems that he unknowingly knows what I am thinking

“What’s wrong with being a girl? And what’s wrong with not wanting to talk to someone?”

“Ah nothing,” he said then he laugh awkwardly “ Well why is so dark around you? Did someone cut off your electricity?”

“No, I just turned off my lights, and also it’s already late. I just tried my luck to find someone to talk to before I sleep and it turns out it was him- er- you- I mean” I replied

“What did you talk about?” He asked

“We didn’t talk that much just simple and random things and I can’t tell if you can call it a conversation” I answered.

“Hey bro do you know her name?” I heard him talking to X.

“No” X replied

“Hahaha, Just as like I expected. You can’t get a girl with that attitude”

“I don’t care. Just talk to her if you want to, I’ll go out I’ll find the other guys”

“By the way my name is Gray. How about you? What’s your name? It only shows Aklei**** I don’t know the other letters” Well for the privacy of the users Fonitalk didn’t reveal the full name of the user to know someone better it is much better to add them as a friend.

“Just call me Leigh or Akle. Well if you want you can call me sister. Just kidding.”

“Hahaha. Okay sister~” He jokingly said

“Hey, Gray shut it. I’m just kidding”

“Yeah yeah, I know but I want to call you sister.” He said while winking

“/sigh/ okay. You can call me what you want”

“Hahahha. That’s more I like it sister”

“Whatever. Well, can I ask? Why does X need to go out to pick up the others? It’s already late. What are you guys doing?”

“X? Ahh so he said he was X. hahaha okay. Well, to answer your question. We are practicing for the battle of the bands we are representing our school that’s why we need to win”

“Woah! So cool, I guess you guys are great well I didn’t see how you perform but I believe you guys will win. I hope I can see you perform”

“Well you can watch us perform later when we are already complete”

“Really? Well, I want to!! I’m not yet sleepy”

“Cool! I’ll leave this app running for you to ---“ before Gray finishes his sentence a cold voice interrupt

“They're here. Let’s start”

“Okay,” I heard Gray and the other two answer. When it comes to the look these three guys are without a doubt handsome.

“Good luck guys”

“What- who is it?“ I saw the shocked faces of the other two members of the group

“Turn off your phone” X commanded. He didn’t say a name but I know it is intended for Gray. I just want to see their performance. Why is it forbidden? It’s not like I’ll spread their performance. Tsk

“I’m sorry sister. I’ll make it up to you next time. Good Night”

“Who’s your sis-“but before X finish his sentence Gray already left.

I am bit sad. I am looking forward to their performance. Well, I guess I can’t see them perform I don’t know what city they are from. I forgot to ask Gray. I can’t contact him again since he didn’t accept my friend request before he left so there will be no next time.

Wait I think I am forgetting something.

Ahhhhh!!!!! I didn’t get to see the face of X!!! I’m racking my memory but I can’t see his face. I didn’t get to see his face while we are talking and even when Gray is talking to me and when he came back I only saw the other two. Does he know that there is someone who is curious to see his face? Well, whatever. It’s not like I can see him in near future. Let’s just forget it.

I look at my phone I realize there’s no message from him. Maybe he is busy like usual.

“Hey babe, you didn’t text me so here I am informing you that I’m at home and sorry that I just texted you now because I’m waiting for your text too. Maybe you are already asleep. You’ll pick me up tomorrow, right? See you babe I love you.” After I sent the message I put my phone on the table beside me and my mind is thinking about what will happen to us again. I know that something will change and it is because of me. /sigh/ I’ll just think of it tomorrow and just like that I drifted to sleep.