Prologue

I wish i was told the extent to which i should carry myself and the magnitude of those that want to do me harm involuntarily.

The more i tried to be myself the more selves I discovered, the more i tried to ran from everything,the more steps i took backwards, everyone's burdens came to me with force i could never imagine.

When i did thoroughly comprehend, how much i needed not resist, my life got worse, i was torn to shreds emotionally, and physically. The much I could take came with the much that weight heavily on me even more than anything. It was like being given a short small useless spear and a big useful shield when my opponent has everything in great proportion.Was it a curse or a gift or I was merely a vessel of the deities?

I must have gone crazy, no one will take what i have worked hard to have from me... The deities should have known, if they started something with me, we where going the whole way. whether they got what they wanted or not...I was getting what was due to me... Because after working that hard, i think i deserved it.

Sekeletu kingdom

Chapter 1

"Princess Zae you have to take a bath first".

My nanny sebi called running to catch me, i ran towards the door before i bumped into my attendant and fell to the floor.

I started crying even though i wasn't in pain. I was ten years old and being the only daughter among the five children King Yanga and Queen Kathi of Seke palace in Sekeletu kingdom had, i was spoiled silly.

Kubona pacified me with a promise to pluck an unripe mango off of a big tree that stood in front of my premises.She bathed​ me and my nanny took me to my mother's quarters.

I wore a purple satin musinsi and baki with the goat skin sandles as i excited went to my mother's quarters.

I was about to open the door of mother's room when i heard my father say to her,

" It's just an engagement, they won't take her right away"

My mother's voice sounded hoarse and piteous when she told my father

" But she is too young, she won't understand anything, can't that wait for now?"

"We can wait till she becomes​ a woman, and do the rest, right now it's just an engagement" ...

At the time it didn't bother me because they didn't mention my name and i had a lot of cousins and two of my brothers where still not married too either so it wasn't a new thing if one of them got married.

It was a promise my father King Yanga had made​ with King Chani of Kele palace. He had three sons and four daughters from the Queen. Their palace was in the west of Sekeletu kingdom.

Having been defeated in a war between the kwansi and Malenga kingdom, the Malenga people of Malenga kingdom lead by three worriers fleed and settled in a place they called Sekeletu and here they established a kingdom and two sub - kingdoms.

The leader was made king to rule over all but will reside in Seke palace that stood in the south and east of Sekeletu kingdom and the other two worriors where given Kele and Letu palaces in the west and north of Sekeletu kingdom...

Everything was harmonious, Sekeletu become the most powerful kingdom as they conquered​ the neighbouring kingdoms.

They became the richest kingdom with a largest amount of worriors called the Zapo, a large number of livestock, slaves and minerals. There was no kingdom compared to it until the Letu palace divided themselves from Sekeletu kingdom and named themselves the Letuyako kingdom...

The Seke and Kele strengthened​ their relationship with royal marriages​. Hence my father's decision to have me marry in to Kele palace.

"They will be coming in seven nights, have everything you have to prepared until then."

I knew my parents would think it bad etiquette if they found me eavesdropping, so i walked as slowly and soundless as my feet could allow me and walked away from the door.

It was too early to go to play with my uncles' children so i went to the kitchen to watch as the cook prepared a mealie​ meal and crushed groundnuts porridge for breakfast...I liked​ to watch them cook and i got even more hungry as the groundnut aroma reached my nose.

"Give me some, am really hungry" i said to Mandi, the girl who was cooking, she was barely nine when she came into the palace with her cousin and now she was fifteen.

"You will get a bad diarrhoea if we don't let it cook some more"

She gave me a roasted sweet potato instead...by the time the porridge was ready​ i was already full and just had five spoonfuls of the porridge

"Eat some more princess Zae, i shook my head and no one was going to force me, she just looked at me and took the plate away.

After informing the Queen mother about my want to go to my uncle's house, some fifteen minutes later, we started our little journey with nanny Sebi and two carrier bearers behind me...I dreaded using the carrier bestowed on me by my father the king because i liked to walk and run around...unless i was tired or sleepy i walked and ran. My carrier was an open mukwa wooded couch that was covered in a purple linen and black satin cusion​.

My uncle Landa Mwane was my mother's brother and his house was about eleven kilometers away into the east side of the palace. one of my carriar bearers went ahead of us to announce my arrival. When we reached Landa Mwane's compound, a colourful house painted with a brown mud and two stripes of charcoal adorned their visitors' quarters that was facing the reed gates on the compound entrance.

Dalo and Nandi where waiting for me outside, they knelt down , i greeted Dalo first,we shook hands, clapped, shook hands again and clapped three times, this was then repeated with Nandi also. Landa Mwane's wife Mwiza spat on my Palms and chanted, blessing me with a long fruitful life before she directed me with the respect as the tradition demanded into her house, the Visitor's quarters had Marula wood chairs and a table on the corner of the room.

Two benches where placed almost at the center of the room, i sat on one and she and nanny sat on another...Nandi and Dalo sat on a reed mat placed on our feets.

"Thank you for visiting us princess Zae, we are really grateful and honoured to have you here. Unfortunately your uncle has gone hunting with his friends and am unsure of the time or day of his return".

I was used to people treating me with respect and always trying to impress me. Because i was too young to hold a sensible conversation with her and her knowing i wasn't there for her but her children left the room to prepare us something​ to eat.

Dalo, Nandi and I ignored all the royal traditional etiquette and respect entirely when we where together,

"let's go you see the dolls Dalo and I moulded in the back yard,we left them there to dry." Nandi whispered to me scared nanny will say something against the idea.

We where about to go out when Mwiza came back in, when she saw me standing she looked at Nandi with a reprimanding look and Nandi sat back down on the reed mat, when i saw Nandi back down i sat on the bench too. It felt like she had reprimanding me without saying a word to me, seeing that we where all seated again she said

"Your kuku is back from the neighbouring village she had gone to, am sure she will be happy to see you Princess Zae"

"really she is back?" i asked excitedly.

My grandmother and i where very close, she was the one who helped my mother when i was born, the midwives who where present said my mother was literally in no pain when i was born, she pushed me out effortlessly.

My father at age 14 fell in love with my mother a twelve year old commoner, he met her at a dance festival. When he told his father, he was forbidden to see her again...He was to marry from Kele palace. It was my kuku who had gone to my grandfather the king at that time and told him, it was in his best interest and that of the kingdom to let them marry. Since my grandmother was a seer, a healer and a priestess, the king saw her words as those from our god "Nyambe"and let them marry. To appease and keep a relationship with the Kele palace he sent his two daughter Malila fifteen years and maliwa a twelve years old . One was given to the then current king as a concubine, and the other was given to his heir to the throne Chani a fifteen years old prince, the current king as a wife. Kele palace rules allowed a male royal members and the courtiers to marry more than one wife so the king was more than happy to have Malila as his concubine.

"I'll go to see kuku right now", i said as i run outside the reception room with nanny on my heels...Kuku's house was in my uncle's compound but it was further away into the bushes and near the stream.

I was greeted by a smell of dried herbs that where spread on grass mats under the guava tree. The door to her house was ajar but there was no one in it, i walked to the backyard and yelled "kuku, Bo kuku...."

"Maybe she has gone to the stream Princess Zae, let's wait here for her", i was tired from the running so i sat on a bench just outside her door.

It was seven minutes later when a twelve year old boy came running in the opposite direction from where we came, he had a yellow chitenge wrapped around his waist and had nothing on his upper body which was glistering with sweat.

"Kuku sent me to call you to the fields"

I looked at the boy whose face showed a trace of mischief but looked honest enough. Even at ten years old i was a good judge of character, he can be trusted i said to nanny who was looking at the boy with an inert response.

"let's follow him"

"But Princess...."

I was already a distance away from her.

"Are you going to procrastinate or follow us nanny?"

I asked her but didn't stop walking behind the boy who kept looking backwards at me with amazement.

"Are you really a princess?" he asked me

"What do you think"

"Well, your demeanour do emit a sense of royalty and you are...."

"Hmmmm"

"Are you going to finish the sentence?" i asked him impatiently.

"Your are beautiful" he said blushing

It was the first time someone who wasn't my father and family and was of the opposite sex had said that to me. Because i have head it many times, it didn't mean much to me because i knew that i was beautiful. At ten i had visible features inherited from my mother, who was the most beautiful woman for me ever, I had also inherited big brown eyes and a narrow chin from my father.

"What is our princess going to do at the field?can my princess hold a hoe?" he asked with sarcasm...

I looked at him but said nothing, i had never done any manual work in my life and as lazy as i was, was just glad i was born royalty.

We walked about ten minutes​ and then a big ploughed​ land came into site, i could tell nanny was relieved when she saw grandmother who was busy throwing maize seeds in the little holes made by a girl who looked twelve wearing a chitenge that she drapped around her body, through her armpits and tired behind her neck.

There where five children in the fields with Kuku, i only knew two, who happened to be Dalo and Nandi's brothers chilala eleven, and Sipalo, fifteen... The rest where the boy who escorted us here, the girl who was helping Kuku and a little girl who looked six years old...who sat on the ground eating dirt.

"Why are you here so late Zae? "Kuku asked paying no attention to me...She paid little or no mind to the royal etiquette.

"I was waiting for you, i didn't know you where here"

"Really?"

"Yes i..." if nanny had asked me the question, i would have, without doubt said "Yes i didn't know" but when Kuku asked me i wasn't so sure anymore so i kept quiet.

"Did you need someone to tell you where to find me?" she asked laughing

"How can i know if i haven't been told, what sort of stupid question is that?"

All the kids​ looked at me with faces that elaborated the fact that i was disrespectful to Kuku. They had never heard anyone talk to Kuku like i did, went home and continued living like nothing happened.

Grandmother looked at me but showed no hurt reaction to my response, for a moment it felt like i was just with her in that field, she bent down pinched her self on the thigh, i saw her do that and the pain i felt in my thigh was like no other, i screamed out in pain.

Nanny came running to me.

"What is it princess Zae", she looked at me and her eyes fell on the hand i had on my thigh, she checked and saw a bruise on my thigh. I was in pain but I couldn't cry and be made funny of by these children in the fields with me. Nanny almost laughed seeing me trying so hard to not cry.

"She got bite by an ant" Kuku said unconcerned. She put the basket with the maize seeds down, went to a nearby anthill, took a little cray and spat on it, she made a paste and rubbed it where my bruise was.

We all believed​ it was an ant because Kuku said it was. I stayed​ in the fields helping with the sowing and got to know the names of the three children with Kuku where Lobe, the boy who brought us to the fields, Thabo and the little girl was Lugi. They where orphans Kuku had brought to stay with from a neighbouring village... When it was almost noon, we said our goodbyes to​ the kids and Kuku walked with us back to her house, she went with just me to her sleeping quarter and gave me a little pebble in a silk clothe, she tied the cloth on my baki before saying "throw this pebble when you reach the palace gates, don't look back when you do, and don't tell anyone about it."

"Even nanny" i asked

"No one, even nanny" she replied smiling at me...

We went back to uncle's house, food was already prepared, she had prepared nshima, a solid porridge made out of meali meal, pumpkin leaves and chicken...as soon as the food was put on the table i was reminded of how hungry i was. Landa Mwane who had gone hunting was not yet back, so we went back without seeing him.

When we reached the palace gates, four strong looking guards with crossed spears at the entrance checked my bearers and my carrier, I was now seated on the carrier and nanny walked on the side of the carrier. When they saw me, they made way and at that moment i remembered the pebble Kuku had given me, almost as if someone had whispered to me to threw the little pebble. I untied it from my baki and threw it behind me and didn't look back like she instructed me to do.

The bearers had moved less than ten step when i yelled out in pain, and passed out.

I woke up to me kneeling to a grim - Looking old woman who sat on a bed, i was back in Kuku's bedroom , this woman was not Kuku, because Kuku was also kneeling besides me...

The woman had long thin nappy grey hair, she had on nothing from west up, i could see her old deflated breast that looked like two dried mice.she had wrapped her waist in a black chitenge with red stripes. She looked at me and asked Kuku,

"Are you sure about your decision? we have never had a royal do this before"

"She is a royal who will live like a peasant, her life won't amount to much and am sure she is the right one"

"You have so much love for this child, why would you imprint suffering on her?" the woman looked at me unconvinced.

"Because i love her, is why am doing this, and you thought me to never show weakness even in the face of a loved one...And besides,it is very hard to find an antidote for us in this life, so she will live longer" Kuku said looking at me with sadness in her eyes but with determination too.

I was at peace knowing she was there with me and was never scared the whole time i was with her.

"You can start imprinting then."

My grandmother nodded to the old woman, looked at me and smiled.

She got a small Sharp knife and gently, she cut six small vertical lines, each one longer than the previous one on my neck, she made a paste of dried grounded chillis, charcoal, burnt lion *****, burnt lamb heart and water from a never ending stream...she mixed those up before drawing blood from her and the old woman...she rubbed the six cuts with the paste she made with the ingredients. I cried as soon as i felt the chilli in my freshly cut wounds.

"It will be ok, she said as she blew on my neck"

"Are you sure she will be ok?" the woman asked Kuku

"We can't do anything now but see how it will all turn out later" she said with regret from the actions she had thoroughly thought about since the time I was conceived.

She laid me on the bed besides the old wrinkly woman. My eyes lost the battle of trying to elude sleeping​...

I finally came to but wasn't awake fully. My parents and healers were trying to wake me up, i was just with Kuku for less than thirty minutes but i had been laying unconscious​ on the bed at home for four days...No one knew what was wrong, the king and queen had consulted the royal healers, priest and priestesses​ but they all said i was as healthy as i could be and neither was i possessed by any nfiti , nothing was wrong with me.

"Why is she not waking up if nothing is wrong with her" the king yelled at the healer,

"My king, she will wake up when the deities wills, otherwise there is nothing man can do"

When i did fully awake in the evening, nanny was on a big round legless stool and as soon as i opened my eyes, she rain out to inform the king and queen.

"Evening queen mother, i greeted attempting to kneel as soon as she entered my room"

"No, don't kneel"

"How are you feeling" i heard the king ask from the door of my room"

"Very good, nothing is hurting, i was with Kuku"

In my parents' head they thought Kuku had interceded on my behalf and with that the gods brought me back.

"We thank Kuku"my father said, we wouldn't have known what to tell king Chani who is coming for the engagement in two nights.

my mother looked at him and at me and said nothing.