...|Death Cycle|...

..."Useless, useless, useless" laying on the floor she chanted repeatedly "no matter how hard i try its useless"...

Lifelessly laying on the ground with her eyes no longer alive "Why.. why am i still alive..?"

Yearning for death that is unknown wether that day will come...

"Its all useless struggle.. all useless.." chanting again and again

"Eveything... its useless" the only thing she could thought of is dying

"I wanna die! Why wont you let me die?!" Crying out loud for death to come..

"All i want is to die yet why can't i..?" Begging for something impossible

Then one time someone asked her "Many others want to live but why are you desperately begging for death?"

She shooked her head and lay on the ground as she softly spoke "Living is tiring you know"

The other then bend on their knee and cover her with an umbrella

"Why? You haven't seen everything yet"

She snicker at the person's statement and said "if you were me you would feel the same"

Confused the other person didn't say anything and stand up "i may not but try to enjoy something and you'll see the worth of life" with that the person left

She who was left continued to lay on the ground looking at the setting sun "Enjoy.. huh"

With nothing to do she tried to enjoy life but..

"This sucks.. i dont even know why i'm doing this" she laughed at herself for being stupid

"What's so good about living anyway?" Again she returned to her home

"My lady how was your vacation?" The butler asked her

"Forget it.. its not even worth to call it a vacation" without saying anything the butler quietly took her things

"Well thats too bad, then i shall excuse myself my lady"

She went to her room and lay on the bed

Her boredom aroused once again

"I wonder which book should i read"

Unlike any other ladies who likes romance and warm stories.. she prefer the novels about crimes, mysteries, thriller, murder and stuff

With her unusual taste she doesn't have friends and would usually lock herself in her room

Knock knock

"My lady?" The maid's voice called out from the other side

"Come in" the maid came in and brought her meal on the side table of her bed then left

She who was busy reading a book of "The Lost Sea" has been in thought for a moment and then read it again

'What kind of crap is this?' She thought as she read the novel

"And then apollio pulled Jusmine to his side.. "Jusmine its me apollio! Cant you remember me?" Apollio asked as she hugged jusmine"

'This dude is creepy.. how can she ask a girl like that while he hugs her?! How do you expect her to reply?!"

"Apollio? Is that you?!" Jusmine cried as she hugged back apollio"

She gritted her teeth in annoyance 'Tch! I bought and read this book for i thought its gonna be interesting but what's with this nonsense?!'

Olivia throw the book away as she thought 'those people who love such nonsense got no sense after all!' She stomp on the book several times as another person came inside her room without knocking

"My my aren't you a bit cruel to the book?" He picked up the book which she threw and stomped over earlier

"Books are precious my lady so please be gentle with them no matter how you dislike it" he said as he wipe and put away the dust on the book

"You- who said you could enter?! And without knocking for permission that is!" She annoyingly shouted as she was already in a bad mood

"Oh my apologies for my rudeness milady.." the gentleman softly spoke as he bent down a little when he looked at his watch

"Oh my i'm late for 5 minutes already?" The gentleman stand straight and apologized to the lady

"My apologies my lady.. i shall introduce myself  another time formally but for now i shall excuse myself if i may milady" and with that he left

" 'If i may' my foot tch! Who said he could enter and leave just like this is his house?!"

"My lady! There you are!" Maids came rushing to her room after a few seconds with the thing needed for her to dress up

'I dont really like how they doll me up so effortly when they could just do it simply'

Silently letting them do to doll her up olivia then stand on the mirror and look at her reflection

"Oh my! Isn't our young lady so beautiful?!"

"I agree! Gosh! Just look at her perfect figure and features!"

"What are you talking about?! Its called natural beauty alright!"

The maids talk to themselves as olivia looked at her reflection with a tired eyes 'What's so good about being pretty like a doll?'

Then someone knocked

The maids came rushing to the door and said "shh~! The young lady is admiring her beauty!"

'You dont mean "Your Admiring her beauty" are you?' The butler shook his head

"Milady Marquis Li Vendri has came to visit"

'EH~!'

'Head butler you should have gaved my lady more time!'

'Yes~ thats right!'

"Huh?"

"Geez butler Rain you really dont know how to read the room"

"I did read it.. and it says its alright"

The maids whispered to the butler who only smiled in return

olivia looked away from the mirror and approached the door and silently walked to the sitting hall

"Sigh~ milady is such a charming girl yet why does she have eyes that's seem to be tired of the world?" A maid said in sigh

"You better not find out" the butler mysteriously smiled and walked behind their young lady

"Well  that being said! Isn't the head butler so handsome?!"

"I heard he's old already"

"Old? With that face?! Are you kidding?! He dont look like it at all!"

The maids continued to chat by themselves when the head maid approached them "what are you doing dilly dallying in the middle of the day?"

"Mrs. Shaley! We're so sorry! We'll do our work now!" Rushing to run the maids go

"Young people nowadays tsk tsk" mrs. Shaley tsked as she went back to her work

...**...

"Greetings Marquiz Li Vendri, its an honour to have you here"

"Oh no its us who should be greatful to you Count Exclianter" the old man rubbed his beard and looked around

"Anyway.. this is my son" another guy showed from behind

'This guy..'

"Sorry for my late introduction countess, my name is Lucian Li Vendri" the man greets as he took off his hat

'I dont know who he is but i think i'm familiar with him'

Seeing olivia's puzzled look lucian grin "my lady perhaps you have something to say?" Olivia who's taken aback from his sentence faked a cough and talk

"Ahem! My apologies Marquiz, what have you come for to my humble estate?" The nobles sat down to talk

"Well you see, i would like to have the countess to consider our deal about the Anter's new product release"

'That and he brought his son here? Interesting marquis' olivia take a sip of her tea

"Oh? What about it?"

"About the investment can you think about it and-"

'I think i know why he brought his son here'

"What do you think countess?" Marquiz Li Vendri sweats as he talked

'I guess she wasn't called the devil's incarnation for nothing.. even her aura is frightening'

"So what are you proposing maquiz? You cant expect me to invest in a company with unstable income"

The marquiz's eyes shone as she said that 'I knew she'd asked!'

"That's why i brought my son-!"

"That's why you brought your son here to propose a marriange and we'll both gain same benefits.. you will earn my investment and i, will be able to climb my rank up and have more access to the high society is that it?" The shocked marquiz trembled

'If it was any other lady she'd sure agreed to it probably..' olivia looked and observed Lucian, the Marquiz son and more likely his heir

A man with a perfect face you could call him a greek god, a bright shining brown hair that shines under the sunlight and a body build for a excellent and athletic man.. he's someone any girl would like to have but-

'Who does he think he is?! *glare'

Unfortunately Olivia Exclianter is not one of those 'Any Girl'

"Marquiz are you trying to test my patience?" A cold glare and piercing eyes that seem to be able to see through his very soul

"M-My apologies countess.." the marquiz look paled from her sight

And on a corner the butler scoff "my my, marquiz is scared of a little Countess?"

Olivia's gaze dropped on the butler "oh i've been found out so quickly, really.. the countess is really something" knowing what that gaze meant the butler left

"Marquiz you dont seem alright.. why dont you go back already?" Smiling to hide her irriation lucian quickly took notice

'How interesting' lucian then came to his father "if you say so countess.. then we shall take out leave"

"Then rain please escort the marquiz and his son out" the butler quickly came and escort the two

'You just had me left milady'

How long was it? How long have i lived?

I dont remember..

Who created me or who i've been taken to..

But right now i can see my previous owner leaving me in another person..

The child seem sweet and caring..

She caress me and sang me a lullaby..

She goes to sleep and play with me the next morning

But ofcourse, just as how my previous owners are she left me in another person's arm as soon as she grew up

I'm not sad or anything

I'm just a doll after all.. replaceable and recyclable

Infact i should be greatful that i'm still being use despite being so old

My next owner was an orphan..

A sickly girl who was meant to die young but kept on smiling despite the pain she's suffering

She was brave yet at the same time pitiful..

There's a boy who always visit her every morning and afternoon

He was the only friend she has..

That boy has a bright and shining future ahead of him.. he's a genius and loved by everyone

Some kids even glares at my owner for taking that boy's time with them but ofcourse they pay no heed to any of it

Then one time a kid came and visited my owner and asked

"Why do you lay down everyday yet still eat meals when you do nothing?" The kid's words are full of jealousy and contempt

"I.. dunno" my owner awkwardly replied with a awkward smile

"Don't smile! Its so disgusting! No, you disgust me! I hate you!" The kid then ran out as soon as it shouted

My owner was quite confused but understood what the kid meant..

While they work hard to earn food she, who only lay on the bed was getting special treatment only because she's sick

"Maja do you think i should die already?" She put me on her lap and asked the question where i only listened

"Everyday i try to be healthy and stay alive because the others who work hard for me wants me to be like any other normal kids out there" she caress my head as she spoke

"But now that i think of it i'm just a burden everyone wants to keep because of sympathy and sense of responsibility" some tears roll down her cheeks

"I want everyone to be happy yet because i'm alive their struggling to have me smile and so i did.. but even my smiles aren't enough" she continues to say what's in her mind and bring out everything she's been wanting to say up till now..

After telling me her worries she quickly fell asleep.. i've seen many people with their own worries and for everything i've heard i dont think what she worries for is something to be a big deal

Yet because i also know what kind of owner she is i can say that she is trying her best to overcame her own self

A timid girl yet so brave and fought her illness to stay alive and healthy for those around her

She's so thin and pale.. almost like a bone and corpse but there she is standing and smiling while she stares at the sky

"Maja dont you think the sky is so clear today?" Occasionally putting her mind into something to relax

She would imagine various things such as going around the world and travelling far and wide

"Maja they say the city is beautiful.. do you think i might have the chance to visit the city?" She lay down under the tree

"I even heard that many geniuses go there!" She eventually tear up..

Even though she appears optimistic she's still hurt inside

Her only friend in the orphanage was going to be taken to the city to study and learn things and grow..

Well i know that this would come sooner or later but it seems my owner is still not in a prepared state for that

That evening before the boy go to the city he visited my owner's room but unfortunately my owner was asleep so he could only stay quiet and stare at her for a while

"Tommorow i'll be leaving for the city mary.. please wait for me to come back! I promise i would come back here again and have you look around the city after i earned enough money!" The boy kissed the girl's forehead and left

The girl then opened her eyes..

'I thought she's sleeping..?'

My owner smiled and touched her forehead " you better do as you said Sai.." she mumbled

The next day the boy named sai left the orphanage for the city..

Now my owner is loner than before.. she's also getting weaker.. i can feel her end is coming but then she's also fighting it with her strong will

Years passed its been 10 years ever since the boy went to the city

My owner has now passed the marriageable age yet she still look at the window longing for someone to come

'I bet she's still waiting for that boy'

I have no issue with her waiting but as she waits only her body suffers.. she would look up to the sky from the windows and hum some lullabys as she sew another clothing

The big sisters in the orphange who took care of all children in the orphanage would come and tell her to rest and stop sewing but with my owner's stubborness she pay no mind to their warnings

For 10 years of waiting i'm surprised by how long you managed to fight death and stay as you are now

And for those 10 years the boy who left has not returned nor visited.. not a shadow or presence

"I wonder how he's doing now..?" My owner was now on bridge of death.. i cant even imagine her living for another week more..

It's like she's already a corpse that happens to be a litlle bit warm and still conscious

Then loud noises was gathered outside.. my owner is still sleeping but i could see everything that's happening outside because she pit me on the window

"Sai has returned!"

"Sai! Thank goodness you came back!"

The boy whom my owner has been waiting for 10 years has finally come but it seems he came little too late

The peaceful owner whom i've been with for more than 14 years is now having her most peaceful sleep she ever had

The boy who's now a man came running to the room "mary i'm back!" He said in a bright smile and saw the sleeping mary on the bed

"Hey mary, when i left you we're sleeping now that i came back why are you also sleeping?" The bright smile on the man's face dissipate as he touched the now cold body of mary

"I.. i've let you waited for a long time" he holds her hand as he kissed her forehead "i'm sorry i'm late"

^^^The End^^^