One would think that the first interaction they have with the person they fall for would be something beautiful.....but that wasn't the case with Sarah her first interaction with the person she fell for was something quite funny and weird now that she thinks back on it.

...*flashback to when Sarah first met Mark in a group chat*...

"Sarah looks scary", said the mysterious man.

"why ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ", Sarah asked she was perplexed over why someone would find her to be scary.

"You just do, it feels like you are a cannibal."

...What does he mean I look like a cannibal....that hurts....

"ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ I ish innocent ಡ ͜ ʖ ಡ", Sarah replied while trying her best not to burst into tears.

"Nah you are scary, change your dp", the man said.

"No....why can't I put a pic of my face on my dp?", she asked, she had always been insecure about her looks and this man was making it worse.

"Because you'll ruin others mood"

...Do I really look that scary tho?....that it'll ruin others mood?...

"I didn't think I was that ugly tho....", at this point Sarah had started crying silently as she didn't want to disturb her sister's sleep.

"but you are"

...Why is this person so mean to me? what did I ever do to him?...

"Great imma go cry now and put a pic of me where I look less ugly as my pfp", she replied while sobbing silently.

......five minutes later......

"I'm back after changing my pfp....do I still look scary or like a cannibal or something? Cause if I do, then I'm going to jump off a cliff", Sarah said. she had put one of her favorite pictures of herself as her pfp, one in which she thought she looked pretty.

"**** too scary 😶😶😶 I'd prefer to punch myself then see this scary face"

...Why is he so mean to me? what did I ever do to him?...

"People in this app do have the habit of buttering up and calling everyone beautiful", Mark went on.

"...I never asked anyone to call me beautiful...anyways I changed my pfp to one of my drawings so that you won't have to look at my ugly face....now I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep because as usual everyone hates me"

...**** it. I'm gonna go talk to my friends before this guy makes me feel more suicidal....idk why people hate me so much....

"Did you draw that?", asked Mark.

"....Yes. Why? If you are going to call my drawing ugly too then please don't. I already know it looks terrible.", Sarah thought her drawings weren't really good. That was probably because she would only draw when she was feeling suicidal.

"It's fucking amazing 😍😍😍😍😍"

"....It's not, there's alot of mistakes in this one"

"I liked it at least, it's pleasing to the eyes, you should draw more 😍😍"

......what even is going on here anymore? why do I feel worse about my drawing? it feels as if he's making fun of my drawing.......

"...You know you're just making me cry more right now"

"I followed you, you can send me your art when you draw more 😍"

...Is this guy blind or what? **** I really wanna discontinue drawing now....I'm not good at it anyways...

"Sarah you are amazing and you should know that", said an unfamiliar person. Sarah was grateful for that but she's been told she wasn't good enough for so long that she had trouble believing it... especially now that she was feeling insecure it was even harder for her to accept the compliment.

"...I'm not tho, I'm a terrible human that shouldn't exist", Sarah replied to that person.

...Damn I hope she won't mind the fact that I'm degrading myself and not listening to them......

"But your art is still nice", Mark said, cutting into Sarah's interaction with the nice girl.

...Ok....what's his problem...can't he see I'm talking to someone else...?...

"Damn it! I'm gonna stop drawing now. I'll never draw again!"

"I'm not being sarcastic, I meant it, I loved your art.😌"

...Damn I hope this guy could learn to shut up....he's just making me feel worse about everything....

...He meant it?!? you have got to be kidding me 🙂 who the **** allowed him to say shit about my physical appearance and then compliment my art and why the **** am I getting jealous of my art? Why....Why does it feel like even my art is better than I ever will be?...

"Btw Sarah though you may not be beautiful, your art is nice, so atleast you have something good, now go and cry to sleep, drink enough water though."

......why can't he just shut up?...

"I'm not gonna draw anymore, Mark"

"Then I'll be mad at you🤷🏻‍♂️"

...Does he think I actually care if he's mad at me or not? I don't even know him!?!...

"I don't care about that."

...Damn where's Christine and Trixie? ....I really need to talk to one of them or else I'll end up hurting myself....the urge to cut my wrists is stronger than it's ever been before....I don't want to hurt myself....

Sarah was silently crying. She checked the time and saw it was 1:46 am. She was going through her contacts trying to find her two most trusted people and see if they were online.

...Christine is online....great I can...talk to her maybe....I probably should talk to her otherwise who knows what I'd do....

"Hey Christine...you there?", Sarah sent the first text, her hands shaking, she was scared she wouldn't get a reply.

"Hey Sarah love! what's up?"

"Christine....there's a guy who called me ugly...and said he would rather punch his face than look at something as scary as my face....it's making me really insecure and I feel super suicidal right now I...I don't know what to do anymore"

"Sarah, calm down, who is he...? I'll go talk to him for you, please don't hurt yourself"

"I...sorry I just...I needed someone to talk to...and hugs..."

"Sarah it's ok, it's fine, don't listen to him. He doesn't know you. And he's blind if he thinks you're ugly"

...Wait let me check if my friend replied in the group chat......

"Bye guys, btw sorry Sarah. You ain't that ugly", a message sent from Mark a while after Sarah went.

.......he's weird...oh look I have a new follower!...I'll follow them back :)...

"So that's what cowards do, ask their friends to shit in others' pc", the person Sarah just followed had texted her instantly.

...Who....? Oh wait....it's that guy again....

"I never asked her to do anything. I simply told her the shit I went through, and why I know hate my drawings (the only thing which used to make me happy btw)...and also the reason why I was feeling even more damn effing suicidal than before", Sarah burst up, she was tired of this man saying whatever the hell he wanted.

"What?"

...Seriously? This guy is getting in my nerves now...

"I think I have the right to tell my friends about that", Sarah replied.

"The thing about drawing was a genuine compliment 🤷🏻‍♂️. Not my fault if you mis-construct it. Btw call me on your funeral 🤔. Actually don't, it'll be too far away. Anyways, don't stop doing art.

"...The fact that it was a genuine compliment made me feel like shit even more...and you don't have the right to tell me what to do."

"If you don't stop doing art then I'll apologize."

"....Apologizing won't make me feel less suicidal...but I'd hate to not draw so I probably won't stop."

"Ugh! tell me why you are suicidal."

"I don't know dammit! It just happened a few years ago. Besides, why would I tell you about my pathetic life and the fact that I blame myself for anything and everything that goes wrong?!?"

...Ah shoot, I've said too much. **** why doesn't this app have a delete message option.......

"Calm, baccha, calm. 🍫 so basically 🤔 you are a dumb **** who blames herself for every single fucking thing on her planet."

"...yea"

"you really are a dumb ****", Mark says, handing some chocolate to Sarah.

"I don't take food from strangers",Sarah replies, while pushing Mark away.

"ok.....then I'm your friend"

".....ok"

Mark tries feeding chocolate to Sarah.

"Smile now."

".....first tell me what type of chocolate it is"

"dark chocolate"

"...Ok cool then. Thanks"

"Cheer up now. Dumb ****"

"Don't call me that!"

"Dumb ****"

...Argh Why does he keep calling me a dumb ****? I'm not THAT dumb....

"Ok so how about this....I send you a pic of one of my less ugly drawings....."

"You are a dumb **** 😒 also btw don't use makeup if you suck at it.", Mark said cutting into what Sarah had been saying.

"....and you stop calling me a dumb ****...."

...Damnit I just want him to stop calling me a dumb ****...

"and your art is good, trust yourself 😒. ok shithead."

...Ok so he stopped calling me a dumb **** only to call me a shithead? HOW IS THAT ANY BETTER??...

"Ok, forget it. Also not all of my art is good, the portraits I drew look like shit and I always mess up the faces."

"Idiot. No one is perfect. But the fact is that as long as you are alive you can slowly improve your art. Idiot. So don't you dare think of dying again. Dumbo"

...Huh. Is he trying to make me feel better by telling me not to think of dying....?...

"I know that...but mine is truly very ugly most of the time....I don't even know anatomy. Also are you trying to cheer me up?"

"Dumb ****. If you think of dying, I'll personally come there and spank you. Is that clear?", Mark said while flicking Sarah's forehead.

...S-spank me?!?!? Isn't that....wrong? Also why the **** does that make my heart beat a bit faster.......

"Yea I understand....but like I've gotten used to it and it's not as bad as before so.....there's that", Sarah replies, remembering about the time when she would have to force herself to stop thinking about suicide, and when the urges to hurt herself were at their peak.

"Better, good girl. You ain't allowed to die, at least till you're my friend", Mark says while patting Sarah's head.

......is he genuinely worried about me....?...

"...Don't worry I won't die that easily."

"Show me your art"

"Besides whenever I start feeling more suicidal, I talk to my friends to calm myself down, so that I don't do some shit I'm not supposed to be doing."

.......oh...he wants to see my art...?...

Sarah sends some pictures of her drawings, the ones she likes the most because she knows those are better than the rest.

"You're good"

"...Thanks these are the ones I didn't mess up that much"

"I'm proud of you. These are good" Mark says while smiling.

"Thanks.", Sarah replies while inwardly smiling.

"Btw how did you feel when I called you ugly?"

.......maybe I shouldn't reply anymore....

"Say", Mark insisted. It seemed to Sarah that he really wanted an answer.

"...I dunno I just felt depressed and remembered all the times I'd been called ugly by my family...", Sarah trailed off, remembering how hard some of her family members were on her.

"Btw let me see you, I forgot how you look."

......he forgot already? although he was saying such mean stuff just a while ago......

Sarah sends a pic of herself to Mark, waiting for his reply, hoping he'll be nicer to her this time.

"You look 🤔🤔......No comments."

...What even....that's just weird....

".....Ok"

"What happened?"

"....nothing"

"Bolo na, Kya hua" (Tell me, what happened?)

"Nothing"

"Motu has" (laugh fatty)

"....Don't call me fat", Sarah was being reminded of how her family would always call her fat.

........Maybe I should start skipping more meals........

"Kyu? Motu motu motu." (Why? fatty fatty fatty.)

...Ok....then I just won't reply I guess...

.......

"motu motu"

"........"

"What?"

"Don't call me fat."

"Because my family does enough of calling me fat.", Sarah replied while smiling painfully.

"hmm"

.......I guess....I'll just go offline...

Sarah lay on her bed thinking through everything that had just happened.

...He's kinda weird... But he isn't that bad I guess....

She checked the time only to find it was around 7 am.

...Wait how long was I talking to that guy for....**** my sleep schedule is gonna get more messed up at this rate....

Sarah sighed deeply, thinking of what she's supposed to do next. Whether to let him in her life and trust him or not? If he wouldn't mind being friends with a disappointment like her? If she should go back to living quietly in this house that wasn't her home. What would happen if she ended up running away from the house.

These were all thoughts she was having, due to how much she had been through, she no longer wished to stay here. So the random thoughts weren't new to her.

...I wonder what would be the best way to die....I want a painful death so maybe....burning to death?...

Sarah was wide awake, although she hadn't slept at all.

...Huh...that's weird I'm not sleepy today....I miss the 2-3 hours of sleep I was getting these days....

"I guess I'll go read a novel or something....",Sarah said quietly.

...****************...

...SEVEN DAYS LATER...

...----------------...

Sarah opens the app where she met Mark and checks for any new messages.

"Long time fatty."

......it's a text from Mark! ....But he's calling me fat again....but why am I happy at seeing his text...?...

"Hello human.", Sarah replied, she had picked up this habit of greeting everyone in this way.

........no reply....why isn't he replying..... anyways **** it I'll go complete my drawing I guess....