once there was a girl with nothing to lose nothing to gain she was a skale moving through time and just a shadow in what people call life ... she was reincarnated 360 times and her spirit is reborn into darkness everytime but she doesn't remember anything about her past lifes or about her curse . when she is reborn she is extremely poor and goes through alot of pain from the time she is birthed that makes her resent people and life but as soon as she turns 18 her curse awakens then she goes crazy and remembers all her past lives and commits suicide on her 20th birthday at the exact time she was born.

03 October is the date when she is birth and 03 October is when dies exactly at 11:11am.

her first 18 years of memory before she was reborn for the first time is lost ...forever taken by the gods to give her the freedom to make her own path and choose good or bad . she struggles alot with emotions and she has never fell inlove nore has she found a fallen angel like her.

she prays to god and hopes for a better life a better her ...she prays for salvation and a chance to be herself and be good for people but she finds herself shattered and without direction she feels lost and roams around on earth ...she asks god what she did to deserve all this badluck and misfortune when she is a kind and good soul that never hurts others on purpose ...

she starts to resent god and everything...she hates herself more because it feels like everything happening is because she is unworthy.

03 October 2002

a little girl named Tasneem is born with a mother who is not really there for her but only cares about herself and her other two kids ..a father that is in prison since the day she was born but has a secret background.

her life goes on and as a child she was bullied by her older and younger siblings they let her clean and do everything. they were quite poor and didn't have much her mother would always call her badluck and a good for nothing waste of money and said that she is the reason why her mother has to live in such bad and poor places and that she is so ugly her father rejected her.Her mother always said she would never find love or any warmth from anyone....that she would never amount to anything nore succeed in any of her dreams .....

as it seems she is going to die alone cold and hungry with nobody who cares for her.

she raised herself from a young age and taught herself to read and write even to cook . Her mother would let her wash every part of the small house and clean the dishes ...wash washing. She would let her wash and sleep outside and somedays she wouldn't even feed tasneem .

Tasneem was smart and kind even if she had nothing she would give the little food she had to homeless people to help them even when she needed help too ...she would never ask anyone for anything because she never wanted to be a burden to anyone . she also hurt herself alot by cutting her wrists and banging her head against walls until it bleeds she would choke and hit herself she hated herself so much she was so depressed fell deeper into the dark hole and found weed she would try to drink handfuls of pills to die but she wouldn't die just sleep and then wake up throwing the pills up.

she would do small jobs for people around there yards to earn a little money to buy herself and other homeless clothes and canned foods and she would eat mostly out of bins behind rich people's homes or even supermarkets.

her family hated her so much they considered her a poor basterd maid and not just her mom and two siblings but her grandmother and aunts too she felt so alone that even on school she had no friends and bad things would happen to her on a daily she would never have a good day and even at school she was bullied nobody on earth cared for her and she never had a father to make her feel safe or wanted and she doesn't know anything about him , only that his in prison and is far away . she always wanted to know who he is and the other half of her family but everytime she would ask her mother about it her mother would beat her until she can't move ...she was use to it but some how when it was about her father her mother became more ruthless but she didn't bother to ask alot she was helpless because how would she get to him to tell him with tears in her eyes that even if he couldn't provide for her ....even if he doesn't love or want her all she wants is just a hug filled with warmth and comfort even just for a little while ....just that would settle his debts owed to her for not being there in her life.

she is presently 17 and she starts to fall into a darker state of depression and her hair starts falling out and she barely sleeps or eats but she still smiles and sees the beauty of the world but at the same time sees all the bad . She starts dreaming about her killing herself and every night its a different way so she just doesn't sleep and her school work starts to slip and she becomes skinny and smokes weed to sleep without dreaming and she drinks dark liquor and drowns into the feeling of being in the reach of being almost okay her mother doesn't even care that she is never home and she doesn't go home for weeks... and weeks turns into months and even almost a year. When she goes back she finds out that her whole family was killed and she doesn't care she just lives on the street "those people were never my family we were just passer byers they never really meant anything to me nore did i to them" . she takes care of homeless kids with no parents and she is about to turn 18 so its about to all collapse.

few months before her 18th birthday in the early days of july she is walking the streets alone the homeless kids are now in a foster home and people would throw her with stones screaming she is a jinx and bad things happen because of her and that she can't die because she is a living curse.

Later on in the week she gets stopped on the street and a man asked her where a place is but when he showed her the address she saw it was her old homes address and she knew something was wrong because this man was clearly rich he had a suit on and drove an expensive car so she said that she doesn't know where that street is and he was insightful and said "how can a begger not know how to navigate the streets and you live around here so you must know" ...she was shocked at his words and started to really worry because she thought he might be danger and now she realizes he is danger ...she then walks on and says that she use to be rich but her family lost everything and she hitch hiked to this town and now she's stuck .

she thought that her words would chase him off but then he replied by saying " oh well you help me find the house and I'll give you a ride to wherever you need" . she got so mad and thought why does this man see through all her lies and she replies by saying she doesn't need his help she is a stubborn and proud person she would rather work to earn money to go to where she needs and walks off and says he should leave her now . He screams before he drives off that if she was once rich why would she want to work for what she has and not jump on his lap as an rich girl with nothing would.

he drives off and an hour after his gone she goes to her old house to see what it is they want with it but as soon as she gets to the corner of her old house 5 expensive mafia looking cars circle her and armed men get out and takes her and blind folds her she starts to panic and scream but a voice says " if you stop screaming i promise i won't hurt you ever"

she pretends to pass out and tries to see through the bag and she tries to smell or hear anything that could help her find her way home or identify where she is ...she listens to there conversations and there accents and slang.she has nothing and it seems that the car is sound proof she starts to try and untie her rope ...she can feel them looking at her and the same voice says "its clear you didn't pass out and that you are trying to untie your rope but let me help you with it ...it must be on tight or wait let me take it off ...sorry about the blindfold we can't let out our location until we can trust you so i hope you understand...and if you don't mind me saying you actually don't look homeless and you dress and sit well for someone that lives on the street you really are her aren't you tasneem"

Her heart starts to pound and she thinks how does. he know so much and how does he know her and what do they want with her ...she asks with a strong and firm voice "are you the guy from earlier and what do you want with me when my family is obviously dead and if they had debts i have nothing to do with them i wasn't even part of their family i was just an outsider to them" he doesn't say anything and the car stops and they all get out she is taken to a room and untied they leave the blindfold on and she takes it off after hearing the door close and lock .

She immediately rips off her blind fold and the first thing she sees is a really big and beautiful room there's clothes on the bed with a note "take a nice bath and put these on" she then baths and cleans up then she finds food on her bed with a note "I'll explain tonight why you're here" she waits anxiously for the night to come she eats the food and sleeps till night comes but because she hasn't slept in a good bed in a while she sleeps deeply and for the first time she feels safe and happy.

she sleeps till the next morning and finds a note "come down and have breakfast with me"

she then bathes and looks in the dressers theres so much expensive clothes for her to wear . the question why is running through her head she goes down and the man is stunned to see her see has the most beautiful long curly hair with pearl like white teeth and smooth and clear skin she really looks like a fallen angel with hazel brown eyes that look right through you . He gets up and pulls a chair out for her to sit while smiling uncontrollably.

they start to eat and she stops and looks at him with a cold look that is dominant and also makes him a bit scared of her she then says firmly "so are you going to explain why you and your people took me andwhat you want with me and if i can leave... i appreciate your hospitality but the way you brought me here and the way you give me orders it would seem like I'm a prisoner. "

the man then stands up and says "come with me" .

he takes her to the next room where a big portrait of a man that looks like her is and she looks at it and says " this man seems familiar " he replies by saying " yeah like looking into a mirror right...he use to be my boss and died a few years ago and his dying wish was for me to find his daughter and give her everything that was his but i couldn't find you without his help but before i tell you what you have gotten by your father and before we decide your future I'll help you by managing most of it till your ready but for now your not a prisoner in fact this is your house .....I'll give you the house first with some money "

she is shocked and she doesn't know what to do but she's still her she doesn't feel for herdead father or anyone nd anything.... she turns to him and says

" you may keep it all i have no use for it my life is worthless and i don't want to be here and if I'm not a prisoner i would like to leave" .

the man says " i hand you the world on a silver platter and you refuse it because you want to work to it yourself your proud and stubborn just like him he said you probably wouldn't want it or take it ...wo I'm giving you two options right now you can go live your shitty life and wait to die or you can stay here till your 18th birthday your choice and there is no other choice "

tasneem with a evil smile on her face says "whats in it for me if i stay?" . The man says "I'm Bradley by the way and if you stay you'll be able to do whatever you want ....you seem as greedy as your father he always wanted to know how something would benefit him ".

they go and eat there breakfast done and he hands her a bag and says "this is your monthly allowance "

she opens the bag and sees hundreds of dollars and she says "I've never seen so much money in my life ever but I'm sure this is just a drop in your bucket right " he smiles and says sarcastically " you sound and look more and more like him you know the look you gave me earlier was the same cold look he gave me "

he then gets up and says to her he's going to work and that he'll be back late and she nods and eats her food . there's so much food and the house is so big , she then decides to take a look at her house and the guards because there's so many guards around everywhere you look there's someone the small elderly maid appears behind her and asks if she will be going out because shecan go to the garage and a driver will drive which ever car she wants. she goes to the garage and sees all these beautiful sports cars and theres the latest rolls roys too she can't believe it she wants to drive in the best car to feel how it feels ...the driver comes and bows down and says "all the cars are bullet proof and also limited edition ...i am at your service mam i would even die for you" she laughs and says " good because i might ask you to kill yourself to prove it ...I'm just joking get up and call me miss or tasneem I'm not old enough for mam okay"

she smiles and they drive to the mall he walks with her and they shop and she buys the guards food and gifts and the maids and she gets them snacks and clothes... she asks the driver thats with her if he has kids or if anyone els there has kids .. He say " only the maids are allowed to have kids because of the work we do most of us were recruited from armies all over the world and we never had kids and this line of work a family can be a weakness or even targets.

As they walk and buy gifts she doesn't buy herself anything ...they went home and she looked very sad on the way home but she just feels a bit lonely .

The driver that actually really like her and think she nice so he looks at the mirror and sees her sad face ...he asks her then whats wrong and she doesn't reply and says just drive home . He immediately just keeps quiet and then drives till they get home , she goes to her room and doesn't come out for days ...she doesn't eat or sleep she just sits there looking into the void....

The maids and guards talk and they all say to each other " whats wrong with miss she didn't come out of her room or even eaten one of us needs to go up and check on her " . The youngest of the maids decided she'll go up and talk to the young miss and she knocks and hears no sound she goes in and sees the young miss on the bed lifeless not even blinking and the maid goes to sit next to her and hold her but still no movement the maid just sits there not moving either and she sits with the miss for days without eating or sleeping then passes out and the young miss carries the maid out the morning and wait till she wakes up to feed her and the maid asks her to eat aswell and she does then says "I'm going to look for homeless people to help them i know where alot of them live and places we could find some would you like to go with me " the maid looks at the young miss in shock of her words and agrees . They go to the mall and she buys alot of canned foods and toiletries and clothes and they drive through the streets and give it out to homeless people and she gives them a bit of money too ...

they go home and the maid asks her why she does it... she smile and says " because everything they going through i went through and worst i hope to give them some kindness so they can pass it on to the next person in need and all the money i got was a kindness to me i should pay it forward because what good is wealth if i can't help others with it and about the past week that i haven't slept i just have very bad nightmares about myself in different lives going through pain and i just want to stay awake because i don't know what it means and i prefer not eating when I'm feeling depressed "

The maid is speechless again and thinks to herself she is such a damaged wild flower there's no one like her and will never be her word are kind but firm ...harsh yet fair and she you can see the pain in her eyes while she takes care of others i can see she hates the world but she would die for a total stranger.

they get home and go to bed but Tasneem is having trouble sleeping she watches some tv and falls asleep around 03:00 in the morning she sleeps and has nightmares about falling in to a dark void not being able to say or do anything and a voice keeps on saying to her "this time it will be different don't fight the dark or light find the balance which you are the scales moving through time is powerful take your curse and be that balance.... IT WILL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME" wakes up screaming and sweaty.... its a week before her 18th birthday

she finally gets up before everyone and cooks which she didn't know she have a passion for and really good at ....she eats hers and leaves some for the maids leaving a note that says they should eat up they have a long day and then she left ...

when everyone awakens they check on her and finds that she is gone and goes down and sees the note and they think that she had left ...just when the guards want to go out to look for her she comes back in a sporty outfit and says she just went to clear her head...

she eats again but this time she is eating alot and everyone looks at her confused...expecting the sad and depressed person but she is laughing and asking the maids to sit and eat with her ...

she then gets up and tells them that today they'll go out but everyone should wear casual sport wear and they went to the mall and bought alot of food and clothes and drove around sharing the food with people and