Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thanks to a Single Moment of ImpulseChapter 0

SEVEN UNFORTUNATE LIFETIMES, ALL THANKS TO A SINGLE MOMENT OF IMPULSE

C0

Prologue

I am a puff of auspicious cloud. One hundred years ago as I was drifting in front of Yue Lao’s house (1), the sloshed fogy suddenly turned me into a spiritual entity on a drunken whim. After he sobered up, he stroked his beard and tried to defend himself: “Ah, you’re a puff of cloud fated for divinity. From now on, let’s call you Xiao Xiang Zi.” (2)

Yue Lao – old man under the moon aka the matchmaker god who ties couples who are meant-to-be with red silk strings.

Her name means ‘lucky baby girl’, but the format used is similar to how a eunuch would typically be named, starting with Xiao (little) and ending with Zi (child).

At the time, I was too naïve to notice what was wrong with the name I was given, and so I obediently nodded.

Thereafter, I donned a woman’s body and bore a eunuch’s name as I lived in Yue Lao’s home and became the old man’s helper. The fogy gave me three meals a day plus some pocket money for snacks and drinks in exchange for my watching over the mess of red strings in the Yue Lao temple.

As time went by, it soon became hundreds of years for which I had unwittingly labored for Yue Lao. I thought that my days would continue to be spent sitting in front of his temple and counting white puffs of clouds drifting by. But I was told by everyone who came before me that a boring story would waste the readers’ precious time. I therefore am going to make sure not to disappoint anyone.

That day, a nightmarish guy fell from Heaven-knows-how-far above and plunged head-first onto the carpet of red clouds in front of Yue Lao’s temple, making noises just like the ones I made whenever my stomach digested food and farted air out.

Because I was dozing off at the time, I only blinked at him a few times sleepily. The boy dressed in red struggled to pull his head out of the red cloud carpet, stared straight at me, and then all of a sudden raged: “Stupid brat, stop sitting there to watch. Don’t you know to come over and help me?”

His yelling woke me up. I stared wide-eyed at him for a moment: “Didn’t you already get out?”

He glared at me peevishly, then stood up while brushing off his clothes before looking at me disdainfully. “One look and I knew you’re a maid from the destitute Yue Lao estate. You don’t even have eyes!”

I yawned lazily and wiggled my butt around for a more comfortable sitting position against the stepping stones. “Ain’t got no eye boogers,” I said, digging my ears, “but I have plenty of earwax. Look!” and flicked something out from my finger.

The boy leaned to the side in disgust; contempt filled his eyes. “What can come from a beggarly master but a beggarly maid?”

Even though I normally didn’t like that old drunkard who went around to steal booze, he was still my boss who had been feeding me for several hundred years. At least on the surface, he was family. Family can hate each other, but family cannot let outsiders badmouth us for even half a syllable.

Squinting my eyes, I looked the boy up and down and said, “I heard everyone from the Morning God’s estate loves to primp and preen. Among the twelve gay men there, the next is more beautiful than the one before him. I didn’t believe it at first, but you’re really opening my eyes with that getup of yours.” I watched the boy’s face turn blue with rage and gave him a smug smile. “May I ask which gay one you are?”

“How dare you!” He waved his hand to form a whip out of thin air before ruthlessly cracking it my way.

Even though I was pretty lazy and didn’t like doing anything, ever since I learned the universal truth that I’d be bullied if I weren’t strong enough, I never fell behind on my practice. After a few centuries, I could be considered to have achieved some basic magical powers. His whipping was hard and fast, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle.

With that said, he cracked that thing so suddenly that I wasn’t prepared for it, and in the process, got my round fan whipped to shreds.

I completely froze.

The cost of living wasn’t high in Heaven, but Yue Lao was ridiculously stingy. After buying a few jars of wine, there was never much left of the daily allowance he gave me. This round fan was bought with the savings I’d scraped for decades. The Weaver Girl (3) only sold it to me at a discount after I begged and begged. I hadn’t even played with it for that long, and yet… and yet this bastard had gone and shredded it?

of the Weaver Girl and Cowherd fame.

I couldn’t tell whether the surging emotions inside of me were ultimately anger or pain. All I knew was that I had to give him a good beating before I could cool down today. I rolled up my sleeves and tied back my hair – the hair I hadn’t bothered to tie for the last century.

“Come over here,” I told him as I knotted my hair. “I’ll give you two choices.”

He held the whip in his hand as he looked at me in disdain. I so wanted to wipe that smile off his face.

Patting my tightly coiled bun, I stood on the steps in front of Yue Lao’s hall and raised a finger: “One, pay me. Two, work your debt off.”

The boy sneered: “Who the hell do you think you are?”

I cracked my fingers. “I’m an ominous cloud that will curse you for life. Quake in your boots, fool.”

He raised a surprised eyebrow at my gusty resistance. “You have some nerve to challenge me when you’re nothing but a puny maidservant with only a few hundred years of cultivation…” His words hardly landed by the time I used a spell to make the thick cloud carpet under his feet sinking like a quicksand swamp. He was caught dumbfounded. While he wasn’t reacting, I flashed my sparkly white teeth and gave his chest a shove.

He was startled, but since his feet were stuck, he couldn’t move anywhere. I clung to his shoulders and smiled: “You smell so nice,” and then unhesitatingly chomped down on him…

My magical powers were beyond terrible. Here, everyone easily had tens of thousands of years in cultivation; I might not even register as a blip in the rankings. Since using magic to fight with him was no different from scratching his itch, I didn’t even bother to fight. There was also heavenly law here that would prevent him from killing me. I just wanted to draw blood for now.

I clenched my jaws and used more strength. He screamed and kicked up a fuss. For the moment, he forgot all about magic and pulled on my hair instead. The bun I knotted so prettily was now all messed up. I clung to his waist in a death grip and refused to let go.

“Are you a dog? On second thought, you’re a donkey! A jackass! Let go of me!”

“Ay eee, orh I ite yoo!” (Pay me, or I’ll bite you!) My speech came out in a mumbo jumbo. I honestly think I’m quite sweet normally. If this jerk hadn’t thrown my decades of savings down the drain I wouldn’t have fought with him so adamantly.

After wrestling with him for a while, saliva began to drip outside of my control and soon mixed with his blood, soaking his red garment into a wet patch at the shoulder. Thinking it was kind of rude, I stopped biting to swallow my drool back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to drool on you. This spot is dirty, I’ll bite somewhere else.” I immediately switched to a different place to bite and continued to relentlessly demand: “Ay ee, orh I ite yoo!”

The boy froze for a moment. Since I was latching onto him, I could feel his chest heaving up and down as he shook with anger. “You’re going to bite me then tell me I’m dirty?! You’re telling me I’m dirty?!” He folded his whip into a shorter length and ‘pop’, I felt my butt go numb. Then, a tingling pain slowly spread to my flesh. I bawled, releasing him.

I was simultaneously stunned and furious: “You ruined my stuff and won’t pay, then even have the nerve to spank me?!”

He was also simultaneously stunned and furious: “You’re the one to talk. So what if I spank you? So what? So what?!” For every ‘so what’, he gave me another spank. The smarting pain traveled from my bottom to my head.

“No one had ever spanked me!” I shrieked, and then butted my head into his recklessly. Little birdies began to circle the both of us. Unable to control the spell under our feet, the cloud carpet changed back to its original form.

While he was still woozy, I grabbed his hair and shook him till he lost balance and fell to the ground. But he soon recovered and yanked my hair as he pressed me to the ground with him.

We rolled as we fought, fighting from outside all the way inside, pulling each other’s hair, pinching each other’s nose, yanking each other’s ears. Not using any spells, we stubbornly resorted to our fists to solve our problem, beating each other to a bloody pulp.

I don’t know for how long we were entangled, or how many bookshelves we knocked down before we finally attracted Yue Lao’s attention who was buzzed in the backyard.

“Holy Mother of Chang’e!” (4) Yue Lao wailed: “The red strands! The red strands are all tangled!”

Chang’e – goddess of the Moon

Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thanks to a Single Moment of ImpulseChapter 1

SEVEN UNFORTUNATE LIFETIMES, ALL THANKS TO A SINGLE MOMENT OF IMPULSE

C1

Chapter 1

I could still remember saying to the bastard before we fought, “I’ll make your life become like dark clouds.”

Recalling this now, what I had said was too one-sided.

When the both of us, bruises littering our whole bodies, knelt before the Jade Emperor, he had thought for a while after hearing about what we had done to the red strings. He had said, “Ease of manner is to be prized. The two of you have committed a wrong, thus punishment is justifiable. You have ruined the future of lovers. I’m punishing you with seven lifetimes of fated, mutual love. This can help you two clear your resentment as well.”

“Wait.” The young man beside me had risked his life and interrupted the Jade Emperor.

“You mean me and …her? This fierce…fierce woman who looks like a man—you want me to have seven lifetimes of fated love with her?”

His voice had changed; maybe he had been scared out of his wits.

I had also been scared out of my wits and could only look at the Jade Emperor in horror…

The Jade Emperor had nodded in confirmation.

I had felt my body fall limp. All my hope had vanished. I had realized that from now on, not only would I become the young man’s dark cloud, but he would also become mine. When we came together, it would be like thunderclouds.

“Xiao Xiang Zi, you’re still Yue Lao’s subordinate. In these seven lifetimes, however, you can’t contact him.”

The Jade Emperor had pondered for a moment before he had asked, “Tou Ta Li, are you there?”

A rough man holding an urn had yelled, “I’m here.”

The Jade Emperor had stroked his long beard and said, “This matter will be handed to you.”

“Understood.”

His answer had been full of energy, which had made my heart beat faster. I had taken a deep breath and raised my head to look at the Heaven Emperor Li. His life in heaven had made him fat.

Sensing that I had been looking at him, he had turned around. His face had brimmed with radiance, and his cheeks had turned upwards when he laughed. Uncle had laughed so beautifully.

I had felt my mouth tighten, my always healthy heart beating like crazy. I had taken a deep breath. The always-healthy me felt like I had been about to die at a moment’s notice.

The Jade Emperor had nodded in satisfaction. “Xiao Xiang Zi, do you still have anything left to say?”

I had wanted to say that it was Yue Lao who had messed up the red strings while he had been drunk. If the red strings were messed up, then let them be messed up. There was no need to punish me in such a vicious way!

I had glanced at Yue Lao, and he had gazed at me pitifully, as if pleading me to not expose him. I had turned back around and continued taking deep breaths.

“May I curse?”

“No.”

“Then…I have nothing to say.”

The Jade Emperor had nodded in satisfaction and had turned to the young man. “Celestial Star Chu Kong, do you have anything left to say?”

Chu Kong…So the young man was the Mao Celestial Star.

卯日星君府 (mao ri xing jun fu, I have no idea what it is. Google translate said May God, but on hamster’s blog it was celestial star. I’ll keep hamster’s translation).

Amongst the twelve Celestial Stars, he was the oldest. He looked after the first month of the year. I had finally learned the identity of the young man who would spend seven lifetimes with me.

I had looked up at the ceiling then and had thought that this world was truly ironic.

The young man beside me had stayed silent for a long time, until my curious eyes had fallen on his face. He had said with a straight, pale face, “Although it is our fault for the red strings being messed up in Yue Lao’s house this time, I swear on the God of the Day that this woman messed up more red strings than I. Therefore, can you let this woman suffer a little more every lifetime?”

I had stood up and wanted to pick a fight with him again. Heaven Emperor Li had come to my side and pressed me down. He had calmly said, “I will look at this matter fairly.”

Although Emperor Li’s figure had gotten out of shape, his temperament had still been the same. I had nodded gratefully, feeling that there was still love in this world.

When the sentence was over, everyone had returned to their homes. All across the temple, I had heard Emperor Li’s laugh, “I love seeing the little wife chasing the husband, hahahaha!”

I had stood there, slowly turning into a lonely shadow.

Yue Lao had brought me back to the underworld. He had patted my shoulder and sighed, “Xiao Xiang…”

I had glared at him until he hadn’t dared to say the word he had been about to say. He had sighed again. “No one will look after the temple now that you’re gone. What do I do now?”

I had pouted, saying, “Drink less; that way, you can help me accumulate more virtue.”

Yue Lao had pinched his beard in loneliness. I hadn’t possessed the heart to be mean to him. Even though he had always been stingy, had been a little confused, and had never adhered to the books, he hadn’t treated me badly. He had been unlike other fairies, who treated their own kind with beatings and harsh words.

I comforted him. “One day in Heaven is one year in the mortal realm. At most, seven lifetimes will only be a year. I’ll be back soon.”

Yue Lao had shaken his head and turned around with a hunched back.

Watching his departing figure completely disappear from the underworld, I had turned around and looked at the tall gate.

幽冥地府(you ming di fu, Nether World). These four words on the gate had appeared to be gloomy.

I had removed the wine pot from my waist, looked up at the wine spirits, then had walked to the gate.

I had thought, There’s nothing to be afraid of. Just think of it as coming down to see the world.

There had been more spirits each passing day, wondering how to form a well-behaved row in front of the bridge. Six little spirits had been giving those rows a bowl of soup. The old Madam Meng had been sitting to the side, dozing off.

I had randomly chosen a row and entered the Nether Hell. It had almost been my turn to drink Madam Meng’s soup, but I still hadn’t see that bastard Chu Kong.

While I had been wondering if he had already reincarnated, a golden light flashed in the dark Nether World, making all the spirits dazzled.

I had glanced back. The one in red, full of virtue, wasn’t that the bastard? By his side, there had also been a young girl in pink.

Chu Kong, who had been so fierce when he was fighting with me, had been looking gently at the girl in pink. In the stillness of the Nether World, beside the flow of the river, I could clearly hear him say, “Ying Shi, don’t worry. I’ll be back soon. We’re both men, so Emperor Li will not let me suffer any losses.”

“Even if it’s like that, Chu Kong gege1, you need to pay attention to your safety. I heard that Yue Lao temple’s Xiao Xian Zi has a weird temper. You…you and her together, you need to be wary of her.”

I had looked up at Heaven and thought what I had done to let this little white flower describe me in that way.

The little spirit had coughed twice to remind me to take my soup. Embarrassed, I had laughed and taken the soup. I had been about to drink it when I had heard Chu Kong say, “Don’t worry. Even though her temper is strange, her power and martial arts are both below mine. She can’t do anything to me.”

I had narrowed my eyes and glared at the man who looked like a dog.

Chu Kong had said, “Wait and see how I will handle that eunuch Xiao Xian Zi for seven lifetimes…”

The word ‘eunuch’ had caused me to shake in anger, the bowl of Madam Meng’s soup shaking together with me.

Chu Kong had added, “Then I’ll go count the stars at Morningstar Hall with you.”

“Count your ass…!” I had roared. In front of the little spirit, I had thrown Madam Meng’s soup at the bastard.

The soup had flung skyward while the empty bowl had landed on Chu Kong’s face. He had groaned, covered face and yelled. The eyes that I remembered from our previous encounter had finally been turned purple by me.

I had retorted, “Standing there with those panda eyes and yelling rubbish, don’t you feel pain?” Chu Kong had felt the pain a little later. He had then looked up with eyes full of rage.

The pink-clad Ying Shi beside him had kept mumbling about how her heart was pained at seeing him hurt. From her agonized expression, it felt like I had struck her instead.

I had sneered. Chu Kong had gritted his teeth and looked at me. I saw that a spell had been forming in his hands. It looked like he had wanted to give me a death blow. My calm heart had suddenly raced. After all, in terms of spells, mine were below Chu Kong’s.

At that exact moment, the little spirit had interjected, “You…You threw the soup! Do you want to rebel?!”

His loud voice had woken Madam Meng up. When Madam Meng had moved, the atmosphere in the Nether world turned gloomier. As I was had only been a cloud, my legs had suddenly felt weak as I trembled and pointed at Chu Kong. “It was him! He wants to rebel. That bastard didn’t want to drink the soup. He wanted to see what will happen if I don’t drink the soup. I was forced to do this!”

“Ah?” A deep and husky voice had echoed through the Nether World, making it hard for people to breathe.

“Who doesn’t want to drink the soup that I made?”

Madam Meng had stood up. She was twenty feet tall, casting a shadow in the Nether World.

When she had seen the broken bowl in front of Chu Kong, she had yelled, “Who dares to not drink the soup? This old lady boiled the soup all day. You bastards dare to waste all my efforts?!”

As she had spoken, a huge body had quickly flown above the spirit, so fast that it was inconsistent with her weight. She had landed before Chu Kong, scaring everyone. Even Chu Kong had a pale face.

I had looked around and saw that nobody had been paying attention to me, so I ran and crossed the bridge of reincarnation.

Before going into reincarnation, I had looked back. I only saw the spirits running around and yelling. Madam Meng had been with Chu Kong. Chu Kong had been looking at me. His eyes had been filled of hatred, wanting nothing more than to cut me into thousands of pieces.

I had paused for a moment, feeling that I went a bit overboard…

Before jumping in the circle of reincarnation, I had given him a thumbs-up. Madam Meng had pinched him, causing him to be even more embarrassed. I had smacked my butt and happily walked into the circle of reincarnation.

Chu Kong will not get past without drinking the soup of oblivion. This lifetime, I’ll be born first, and I’ll still have my memory from my previous life. I’m stronger than him. In other words… Little bastard, just wait and see how you’ll die.

Gege: big brother. Used by girls to call boys who are older and close to them

Seven Unfortunate Lifetimes, All Thanks to a Single Moment of ImpulseChapter 2

SEVEN UNFORTUNATE LIFETIMES, ALL THANKS TO A SINGLE MOMENT OF IMPULSE

C2

Chapter 2

“Miss! Young Miss!”

The girl’s loud and frightening voice had slowly reached my ears from far away. Opening my eyes slightly, I could see the sunlight. I yawned and rolled over. I felt that these days were more relaxing than the days when I was a cloud. Every day, I regarded sunbathing as my job and sleeping as my purpose. There were no worries, no stingy Yue Lao, no hardship of saving money to buy a fan, no red-dressed young man’s unlucky, vicious face…

Red-dressed young man…

I opened my eyes. Just thinking about that person would bring me into a bad mood. I couldn’t sleep anymore.

I sat up and heard the girl’s screaming voice, which made my eardrums ache.

“Young Miss! Don’t move, Cui Bi will save you! No, Cui Bi will call someone to save you!”

Under the tree, my personal maid was looking for a passerby. I said without care, “I can come down by myself.”

I still wasn’t used to hearing my childish voice. I rubbed my throat and said in a husky voice, “You, get out of my way. I’m jumping off.”

Cui Bi’s pale face turned green.

“Young, Young, Young…Miss, don’t, don’t, don’t scare me! Don’t bully Cui Bi just because I’m timid!”

I ignored her, grabbed a branch, and climbed down.

In the blink of an eye, I had been reincarnated as the now five year-old daughter of the prime minister. This five year-old was spoiled by everyone; she didn’t need to do the laundry, clean, or cook. Even when climbing a tree, there was a maid under the tree, trying to protect her.

I was puzzled as to how Emperor Li would arrange his favorite play, “the wife chasing the husband.”

Moreover, my so-called husband was probably still being punished in the Nether World. I secretly laughed in my heart.

Thinking about the day of the reincarnation and remembering Chu Kong’s resentful eyes, my mood instantly soared. Revenge was bliss.

I jumped off when I was near the ground. I asked Cui Bi, who was full of cold sweat, “What’s the matter?”

It took Cui Bi a while before she calmed down.

“The prime minister let this servant come search for you. He said to take young miss to the General’s mansion.”

“Oh.”

I gave an answer without much emotion and rubbed my dirty hands on Cui Bi’s skirt. Cui Bi gritted her teeth but didn’t say anything.

“Go tell my father that he can go first. I know where the General’s mansion; I can find it myself.”

The emperor, my father, and the general were childhood friends. The relationship between my father Song Qin Wen and General Lu Lian was particularly close.

The two mansions were opposite each other. The two adults would go to court together. After their official duties, they would come home together. When the two families had nothing to do, they would visit each other. I knew the general’s mansion as well as my own home. There was no need for somebody to bring me there.

After hearing what I said, Cui Bi helplessly frowned. “But today, the prime minister said that I need to go with you…”

Those politically-involved old men always had some business.

I pouted, cleaned my hands on Cui Bi’s skirt again, and helplessly said, “Alright, alright, I’ll go now.”

I rushed into the living room. My father was sitting on the chair. He took one look at me and sighed helplessly. “I give up, might as well let her be a little wild.”

I tugged at my clothes. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. Comparing to my clothes from Yue Lao temple, there was so many rules about clothing here. What wasn’t he happy about?

While walking to the General’s mansion, he talked about the past. While I was in my mother’s belly, the General’s wife was also pregnant. The two families had agreed that if we were of the same sex, we would become sisters. If we were the opposite sex, we would be husband and wife. But no one ever had ever thought that the General’s wife would fall, then have a miscarriage. She hadn’t been pregnant since then.

I interrupted my father’s affectionate story-telling.

“That isn’t right. A few days ago, I saw the General’s wife. Her belly was really big.”

After saying those words, I started feeling suspicious.

Father Song looked at me affectionately and nodded. “Yes, the General’s wife gave birth to a son today. Yun Xiang, now you can go see what your future husband will look like.”

I looked up and saw the smiling face of my father, which caused my tears to nearly fell out. I asked him, “Have you ever seen a grass mud horse1 ?”

My father was stunned.

I lowered my head, placed my hands over my heart and whispered, “Do you know the emotion when ten thousand mud horses passed by? No … you don’t understand.”

I wiped my tears and looked defeated at my father. “Let’s go take a look.”

When we walked into the General’s mansion, every servant bowed and greeted us. Their happy voice overshadowed my gloomy words. “The bastard who came late.”

The news about the General receiving a son traveled fast. My father and I didn’t sit long in the living room before many officials came with gifts for the General’s son.

While father was busy greeting his colleagues, I sneaked to the backyard. Everyone in the General’s mansion knew me, so no one stopped me. I used the image of an innocent lost child to go to the General’s wife’s chambers. Outside the door, I heard the weak laugh of the General’s wife.

“Ah Liang, our son looks like you.”

The General’s rough voice turned soft like a quiet stream. I almost couldn’t hear what he said. “No, our son looks like you.”

I didn’t let the guards announce my presence and entered the chamber. I hid behind the door and stuck my head out. Beside the General’s wife, there was a tightly wrapped meatball, revealing only his face.

From my angle, I could only see the nose and eyes. I deeply felt that the General and his wife were wrong. He obviously looked like a bun or, better yet, a dumpling. How could they know whom he looked like?

Seeming to sense my presence, the General turned around, looked at me once, smiled, pinched the little bun’s face, and said, “Kid, your blessing isn’t light. You haven’t even opened your eyes yet, but your wife is hiding behind the door and already waiting for you. Why don’t you wake up and take a look?”

After hearing those words, I was embarrassed and couldn’t hide anymore. So I went out very naturally and said, “Greetings, General. Greetings, General’s wife.”

“Little girl, you’re already here, so your father and the others must be waiting. Wife, you take a good rest. I’ll go greet our guests.”

The Lady nodded weakly. The General passed by me and rubbed my head bluntly.

“Girl, go take a look at my son, your husband.”

After saying that, he left.

I ran to the bed and leaned over on the edge of the bed to take a look at this lifetime’s Chu Kong. He was very ugly. I looked up at the General’s wife. I didn’t dare to openly hurt him, so I asked sweetly, “Lady, can I touch him?”

“Of course.”

I stretched out my finger and poked him. Surprisingly, it felt very soft. It was hard to imagine that the red dressed, vicious devil who had beaten my butt possessed the same soul as this little one here.

I was a little surprised. So this was the new life; all from the past life had come to the present. It left people in awe.

Seeing the little bastard’s clenched fists, I curiously poked his fist. I didn’t know that he would open his fist and softly grab my finger in a tight grip. Then he put my finger in his mouth.

I was stunned and dumbfounded. It felt like my heart was also touched by his soft hands. A warm feeling crept in my heart. This little thing was really mystical.

“Yun Xiang, he likes you.”

The General’s wife gently touched his face and asked me gently, “Do you also like him?”

My heart shook a little. I felt that if I were to say ‘I love to bully him’ at a time like this, I would get struck by lightning. So I nodded. “Yes.”

The soft fingers grabbed my finger and put it in his mouth. He began to gently suck on it. I felt like I was not myself, as I had relaxed myself on the couch beside the bed.

I was bewitched and said, “Really like…”

This gently touch was more addictive than the warm wind from the weaver’s girl fan.

“This is really good. From now on, you two can walk hand-in-hand and grow old together.”

She continued slowly. “Although you’re a few years older than him, it’s no big deal. At the moment, you can protect him. In the future, he can protect you…”

This gentle voice floated past my ears. The word ‘husband’ brought me back to reality.

I remembered Emperor Li’s crazy laugh when he walked out of the temple. I couldn’t help but shudder and shook my head. I could clearly see the future play about ‘the wife chasing the husband’ getting nearer. And I, at this time, have let the enemy’s appearance bewitch me!

What a failure, how shameful…

That day, I didn’t know how I got back home. I only knew that my father touched my head at dinner and said, “Yun Xiang, in the future, you need to get along with Hai Kong.”

His expression was like he had already gotten me married.

I asked him, terrified, “What is Hai Kong?”

“Your uncle Lu’s son. You saw him today; do you like him?”

I absently nodded. “Like. Uncle Lu gave him a good name. It has a valiant feeling to it. He’s really the first general I look upon.”

Wasn’t that right? Lu Hai Kong. It had such a domineering feeling to it.

Grass mud horses (Cǎonímǎ)is a play on the words cào nǐ mā which means f*** your mother