LIVE ENDED.

I was checking my hand and there was a small bump on the tip of my middle finger.

"I need to check the video when it is released. It might have some fan will edit the video later " I said to myself.

Without thinking too much I look at the hard-working staff and start to bow to them one by one.

"Good work!!" I like it when someone smiles back at me.

While I'm having my moment, humming our new song while packaging my things.

I can feel someone standing behind me. He starts talking about something that I don't know when it's happened.

"Boo seungkwan, why do you do that? I know you're quite popular but making face like that when other the member's talking is not professional" it's jeonghan hyung. He talks without looking at me.

"Why hyung " I said

He didn't say anything but roll his eyes before leaving me there.

I was so confused; did I do something wrong?

I continue to do my work. Suddenly I can't hear anything, it's like I've been left alone. It feels so quiet not like usual, I was wondering where everyone is. I've been searching every block, even checking to each room but i didn't see anybody.

Then at that time I see hyuk hyung walking toward me and asking why is that I am alone here and didn't go to the party with everyone.

I didn't answer, I was so confused.

"Let's go together " hyuk hyung asked me to go with him. It's clearly his face full of guilt. I think he was hiding something from me.

As you guys know,Hyuk is one of our staff team. He is our group manager plus He is always kind and caring to everyone, especially me.

He walked with me to the car

When we reach the car. Hyuk hyung repeatly looking at me and sighing without saying anything.

"Why hyung" I asked him because I feel uncomfortable when he does that.

"No, are u oke seungkwan ah?" My heart beating so fast because Hyuk hyung saying that while pat softly my head and after that he land his hand on my shoulder. His other hand is still steering. He looks so cool like that.

"Yes, I am. Why hyung, is there anything wrong? Why didn't I see anyone? I replied to his sudden question.

Then hyuk hyung asked me again with another weird question. whether i want go to the party or straight into the dorm.

I said I wanted to go to the party, I didn't think much about being left behind

I only think maybe they just left me there because they forgot or they think I'm in another member's car.

In our way to the party, hyuk hyung keep suggesting me to rest and ask me if I want light dinner with him.

I said I'm not tired, I was very excited going to the party.

He agrees with that.

----‐--------------

9:30 PM

We arrived at the party.

"Hyung come with me!" I'm waiting for hyuk hyung to come inside with me.

Without saying too much, hyuk hyung just smile and said if I need anything just call him. He waits outside because he needs to smoke first.

I open the restaurant door and am excited.

In front of everyone I said

"Annyeonghaseyooo"

But no one replied

No one has an interest in me. they just looking at me and then continue to grill the meat. They were eating while talking to each other.

I was standing a few minutes to process the situation in my head suddenly my eyes stopped at where wonwoo hyung sit.

"Anyeong seungkwan ahh". wonwoo hyung greet me back and with his hand. He taps signal tell me to sit beside him.

"Why does everyone like this I said." I whispered to wonwoo hyung.

Then at the time Wonwoo hyung explains to me the situation and I give my opinion back to wonwoo hyung. He said nothing he could do.

‐-----------

My eyes bit teary when I go outside. I've Nothing to say.

I saw hyuk hyung waving at me with smile. seem like he is waiting for me to go outside and already predict what happen to me.

He led me to the car and opened the door for me.

When we're inside, Hyuk hyung keeps driving without saying anything and taps my shoulder from time to time.

"Are you hungry" he said.

"Yes" I replied with tears in my eyes.

I am really hungry.

Suddenly hyuk hyung stop at side off the road.

He looked at me with a smile on his face.

"Tadaaaaa " his voice shocked me.

He showing me a Triangles kimbap and a bottle of coke. I was too shock that I couldn't control my expression. He said that excitedly while looking at me.

He was laughing because of my reaction and saying that I should stop crying.

Then we laugh together. He calms me.

After that hyuk Hyung continued to drive me to the dorm because Seungcheol Hyung kept calling and asked where we were right now.

When we're arrived, hyuk hyung hold my hand and hugs me before my feet step out from the car. He keeps on hugging and comforting me.

12:00 am

Good night hyung

Hyuk hyung smile at me and drove away.

I feel so relieve at that night because of hyuk hyung. because of that small gesture, I feel so stupid. I already forgot my major problem tonight.

seungkwan pov

2:37 AM

I was in my room sleeping suddenly I heard Someone knocking my door endlessly. He knocks on the door really hard. He started talking and murmuring something that I didn't hear. It seems I've heard that voice before but I can't tell whose voice it is that. I walk out and open the door with my eyes half open.

Suddenly I fell and I felt hurt on my cheek.

It's Mingyu, mingyu's is in front of my room. He looked at me angrily.

"Why did u do this" I shutter.

"Did You think you're superior? You're good enough?? Even if you don't like the way I answer the question or cut your moment. You shouldn't do that, making an annoying face in front of the interviewer and mocking me.

He half yelling probably doesn't want the other members to hear that.

"I think you're drunk, I will be talking to you tomorrow. " I said that to him and proceeded to close the door.

He didn't stop there. He held the door and looked me in the eyes.

He keeps mumbling. "Are you gay?? ". He talks with his eyebrows up. He smiling like crazy person.

"Do you think I don't know?? I saw you and hyuk hyung hugging inside the car. are you guys kissing to??

I push mingyu out of the door. He's too drunk.

"Hyung stop hyung". I begin to beg. he's too crazy, ask me a question like that.

"I think you keep flirting with everyone. Are you that cheap? how about I kiss you right now??". He talks nonsense.

He pushes me into the wall, grabs my hand and tries to kiss me.

At that time, I started to cry.

He looked at me and said sorry. He was right on his mind already. He stayed silent when I explained everything to him. What happened at that time and even showed him my hand? I said hyuk hyung just comforting me nothing else. I just wonder why I should explain about hyuk hyung too.

I was on my knees and kept saying sorry if he felt offended about the interview.

"it's was an accident. Wrong timing ... I think my hand stung by a bee " I added to convince him what I say was the truth.

"I'm not mocking you." I grabbed his hand.

He walks away without looking at me.

After that, I go to my bed and try to close my eyes but I can't sleep. I keep rewatching the live interview on YouTube and I found something useful. A fan edits video, they put a subtitle on a random act that we do on the live.

"Oh, i see, i need to show this to mingyu hyung. I was right, something landed on my finger and stung me.

--------‐-------------------

11 AM

The next day

Knock...knock...

"Seungkwan " I heard outside.

"Morning hyung" I said to hyuk hyung.

Hyuk hyung still worried about last night incident. He personally comes to see and wake me up.

He looks into my half sleepy face.

"Why you have a bruise in your cheek and Your eyes bloated ..are u crying all night?you didn't sleep?" He panicked asking me.

I said "nothing".. then hyuk hyung told me to check my messenger.

I got so many missed calls and chats from other staff.

"Boo seungkwan, prepare yourself. We have meeting this afternoon " seungcheol yelled at me.

At that time, we looked at each other. I smell Something serious comes up.

"It's okay, maybe he talks loudly because he thinks you didn't hear". Hyuk hyung comforted me.

__________________________________

12:30 PM

As I opened the door, I saw all of the staff and members were already in the meeting room. Even the CEO with a serious face was there. He asks me to sit down and ask why i am late.

I didn't say anything and the meeting continued.

"As you guys already know, next week we have a flight to New York due to a Mv project for this comeback. "The CEO views his plan.

"So, We need to decide about the group project and position. We need to gather each of you guys by a group and by your own project position. As you guys know, you're a self-producing idol, all decisions are in your hands. Room booking and any thing." The staff added

Jeonghan put his hand up and said "we've already decided but I think someone should take one room alone" as he looked at seungkwan.

And wonwoo suggest " i think one room we need 3 people instead outcast 1 person in one room" while looking at me.

"Yes, I agree "dino said agree to wonwoo suggestion.

at that time seokmin adding fire to that conversation" no one want to same room to arrogant people".

Seungcheol doesn't know what to do and goes to talk to the CEO about why they are acting like that. As a leader of this group, he shouldn't side with anyone.

Ceo look seungkwan hopelessly "I've one more thing to say..I want this conflict settle before we do this mv project. I need to hear both sides ".

Mingyu kept silent and didn't say anything. I think he knows that he's doing wrong.

I kept explaining why and what happened but no one heard.

Then at that one time, I suddenly stopped explaining because Vernon says something I really don't want to believe ..

"We keep praising him so that's why he do that" Vernon didn't look at seungkwan when he said that.

"Enough everyone, he will post or tell this on social media.sosial butterfly " seokmin added mocking at seungkwan.

I can't stand it anymore; I go out of the meeting room with a teary eye. I didn't care about anyone else at that time.

__________________________________________

seungkwan pov

He just didn't believe what happened just now. He called hyuk hyung and hyuk hyung hyung didn't even answer his calls and chats.

A few minutes after that.

he heard a notification from his phone.

Hyuk hyung: I'm   sorry seungkwan ah, I've been suspended from manager works and they give me another position for a while. I can't be with you guys for this project so good luck seungkwan shi ..I hope everything will be oke and I can be with you guys soon"

Seungkwan : I'm sorry too hyung..

Seungkwan reply. he knows what happened.

He cried out loud inside the car. He hit himself repeatedly and while he do that, he heard someone knocking on his door.

Whatever he said and moved to the other side of the car and drove away. He's driving by himself to the dorm.

He opened the keep ringing chat and without reading, he sends a fan video edit from the live video without explanation and off his phone.

He didn't talk to the member all day and decided to lock himself in his room .. they were asking him to go out but he didn't.

The next day, he stayed to be a professional. He attends every meeting about the project and keeps on training without a single miss and without mentioning anything about another day's scene. He does like nothing has happened these few days. live or snapshot for YouTube. He tries to act like usual and when they arrive at their places, he locks himself. He doesn't like the title social butterfly anymore.

__________________________________

Friday

2:20 PM

He got a message that he will be in one group with wonwoo,dino and jeonghan. Without thinking too much he just goes to attend every meeting and tries to get along with others. He doesn't want his conflict will affect others' work.

They have a group meeting about the project and they have to decide about room arrangements for their trip such as how to divide them start from hotel room and everythings.

He didn't feel right and decided to have a room alone with a promise he would never abandon any of his work.

They're all agreed.

Then suddenly wonwoo suggested that He will be in one room with seungkwan. The reason is he doesn't want anybody's will to be left behind. Since he didn't talk much with other members. He didn't say anything just agree with wonwoo suggestion.

He knows what situation he's in right now.

And besides that, in that chaos his mind is messy. He keeps trying to reach hyuk hyung .

Since that day hyuk hyung didn't answer any of his chat. he keeps scrolling to his phone Hopes that he will hear news from hyuk hyung.

Then suddenly he got insta notification

*Hyuk posting on ig for first time in a while*

He saw hyuk hyung taking picture of a girl with caption "mylove".

Why does everyone like this to me? He starts crying again. He didn't care about the post but he keeps reaching hyuk hyung and didn't hear any reply. He thought hyung is busy but he just dont want to reply to his message.

Disappointed *

Hyuk hyung pov

I'm sorry seungkwan

Seungkwan pov

The day is coming

(Let's skip the flight story. I will edit some time)

Tuesday

At 10:00 AM we were arriving in New York city and at that time we all got a briefing about what we would do and where our accommodation is etc . After that we divided into 3 groups and went to lunch before planning for the rest.

I was trying to be professional as much I can do.

And at 1:02 PM

We're at a Korean BBQ restaurant. We're talking like usual about work. We're a team that arrange the location where we will stay and shoot the mv. (wonwoo,jeonghan dino and i)

We have already recided to check the place earlier so we can get rest after that, no need to do much because we already prepared everything. We just check whether we have the right place and book the right places. After checking all the location,we're done and after 3 days we will start the the actual project.

5:00 PM

After finishing the discussion. we're arrive at hotel. me and wonwoo hyung are in one room.

As soon that we arrive in the hotel room. wonwoo hyung didn't much talk like usual. He's busy with his favorite mobile games.

Because there is nothing I can do. I just lay on my bed and scrolled my ig.

"Hyuk hyung seems happier" I look at hyuk ig post.

"Should I text him" I said in my mind

I was laying on my chest and started typing too ... and that time I got notification from mingyu hyung.

Mingu hyung : Seungkwan ah, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. do you want to come for dinner with us tonight?".

My heart's beating too much, it's not I didn't forgive them yet but I'm not ready to open myself. Awkward situation.

I will forgive but will not be the same.

Seungkwan : no hyung, 😅😅 I'll just rest tonight. I feel so tired. I'm sorry hyung.

📤

"Seungkwan let's go, they're waiting for us downstairs " wonwoo just get up from his bed and off his gaming, ready to go down to the lobby.

I said I'll just have dinner here in the room ...

He said oke.

8:45 PM

I felt bored and I decided to walk out of my room to buy something to fill my stomach.

I just go to the nearest convenient store ( writer:I dont know they have or not, never been there) and grab a few cans of beer, they ask for my ID of course.i show them and after that i go to the nearest food shop and go take away food.

9 o'clock

I arrived at my hotel room with 2 plastic bags in my hand.

I set the table and started drinking alone.

"Seungkwan ahh" wonwoo hyung said.

He just came back from dinner.

"They are all asking for you. I just say that you're tired and will eat in the room only"

"Thank you hyung..do you want some". I reply

"No,I have tournament after this, mobile games things with them"he said

"Don't worry I will stay with you, it's just an online game" he continues.

I smile at wonwoo hyung .

10:20 PM

I still have a few can

I keep drinking and feel a bit tipsy, without saying anything I go to the convenient store to buy a few more.

I can feel someone's following me. I quickly took a glance and saw that person was following my step with his head down to the fone. I stopped and I got scared.

As I turn around its wonwoo hyung.

"Hyung" I said

"Why are you walking like that?"

He replies "we haven't finished the tournament yet".

"So why are you here"

He replies again " stop drinking seungkwan ,I'm afraid you'll collapse so that's why I'm following you".

"Oh, I'm okey hyung,tomorrow we have nothing to do right. We already do our job. let me drink for this once in a foreigner land " I said with laugh. I was joking with wonwoo hyung.

As we talked, we arrived at the hotel room.

And wonwoo hyung direct to his bed continue to focus into his games and me? and me Obviously continue to drink the beer.

Now it's almost midnight.

"Hyung,you haven't slept yet "

"No, I'm planning to have another round of games "

"With the other member" I reply

"No" he said

"Hyungg~~~sit with meeee.. " My voice is a little bit drunk

"Wait "he said without looking at me

I reach his hand and keep asking with a cute begging voice.

I was too drunk

He looked at me and he told me to wait. He saw me pouting and wearing a sulky face. He started to laugh.

He added another annoying line.

"Don't disturb me."

Suddenly something came out of my stupid mouth. The words that start everything.

"What should I do to stop you from playing the games?" I said with half crying

"Kiss me" he looks at me as he says that.

I got up and ready to kiss him.

Not on the cheek he jokingly and pointing to his mouth.

I give up

And keep drinking alone.

---------------------------------------------

Past midnight

Wonwoo hyung is still playing his mobile games

"Hyung, you didn't feel sick? you keep playing with your mobile phone " I said...disturbing wonwoo hyung.

He didn't even look at me

too focus playing his mobile games ...

And I land my but, on his lap, and kiss him, not on the cheek but on his lips. Every time he wants to reach for his Fone and push me ... I keep on kissing his lips.

When I stop

suddenly He grab my wrist and look at me.

"Don't stop" he said.

I feel so drunk and go on with the situation.

Until I fell asleep

9:00 AM

I was laying in wonwoo hyung bed. I felt a bit hurt all over my body and I saw wonwoo hyung open his eyes beside me and keep cuddling me like nothing happened.

I was crying and angrily look at wonwoo hyung. then at that time wonwoo hyung reach his phone and show me what was happen last night.

He shows me one clip that I'm the one pushing and kissing him that night.

I couldn't say anything and I want go straight to the washroom and cleaning myself.

I feel so sick and can't even get up. when wonwoo hyung saw that he lifts me up and bring me to the tub.

"Go out" I said angrily

I feel something something wrong with that behaviour. nonchalantly behave like nothing happens.

"Let's wash together " wonwoo hyung said that worried looking at me.

I felt so embarrassed and couldn't stand it anymore.

He kisses my cheek and pecks my lips with sudden kisses.

he Smile at me and that time i can feel that my heart's beating so fast.

After washing together. We sat on the edge of bed awkwardly facing wonwoo hyung.

"I'm not into a guy". I said to wonwoo hyung.

"Me too" he replied to me.

" But I'm not the one who started that." he laughed as he teased me.

I started to cry loudly.

He laughed again and said don't take that seriously. anything can happen, it's just an accident. just forget about that.

I agreed to that and kept saying sorry because I was the one who kept pushing him and wasted.

I was so regret why did I'm drinking last night.