Every story has a beginning. A lit match that falls onto the little line of gunpowder that leads to the giant wall of barrels that happen to be filled with explosives. Well not over emphasize my importance in the grand scale of this wacky universe. But that beginning is kind of me.  Yay!

     Now I have lived, you know?  At 18 I have been eaten out by a Goblin, groped by a tendril of the abyss, and somehow called fourth a meteor to demolish a small town full of inbred hick witches. So yeah I have done some shit. Not level 1 over here, not even close!

     But that was past me! I had one very odd coming of age story and I thought, done.  It was time for this sassy redhead to live the easy breezy life here in good ol Santa Cruz. Pricey you say? Not if you stole a duffle bag of gold and dropped a fucking rock on the previous owners head! Not that I wasn't smart. I went incognito...kind of. Beach house, rainbow hair, gay roommate named Larve, and party, party, party!

     Looking back on it now. I guess one can say there were warning signs. The blizzard that covered Santa Cruz, Ca in a foot of snow and ice, The blood moon, the strange red eyes peering through my window that in hindsight was not a cat, I don't know maybe about six other omens that I just didn't want to see? I was done with that life. 

     "Hey is this animal control?" I said on the phone. I grabbed my vitamins and downed them with an old strawberry margarita. I might have been on hold for hours at this point….or five minutes. I had also been done with creepy cats. Yeah not cats and huge red flags. 

    "Do I see the weather?" I shouted. "Yeah man, I see the weather. So get out here and get these cats before they freeze their trails off! They are clawing my windows and watching me." I pulled my pink bathrobe tighter against me. 

     I don't remember what he said. But it had to do with putting the cats in places where I didn't want to be clawed.

     "Well screw you man!" I screamed as I pressed the end call button with enough force that I hoped he felt it on the other end. And then my phone turned off. On its own, with a full battery. A second red flag.

      The door flew open and a swirl of snow, ice, and blackness swirled into the room. A third red flag. 

     I reached for a knife as that old voodoo krept through my bones.  I remember the jolt as everything stalled. A fifth red flag.  I tensed, waiting for a cat monster to come. 

      "Amberley, you look like you have seen a ghost." I sighed as Larve stepped into the room. His tattered pink and blue pants and heart shirt were covered in snow. "Or a snow storm in California."

    I remember moving in for a hug. "It's those god damn cats!" I hissed. "They are creeping me out and trying to get in…

    "What cats sweetheart?" Larve asked. I realized it was quiet. So many red flags.

     "I guess you scared them off." I said as I shivered and pulled away. I tried to laugh it off.  "You hungry? I am hungry. Should we order Chinese and we can watch some HBO?" I asked

      "No delivery tonight girlfriend." Larve said with his silly lisp. "No escape for you honey." 

      This is when my vision blurred, my body trembled. Did he have something in his hand?  So many red flags. 

      "If we can't get out, how did you get in?" My body screamed in protest. My voice slurred.

      "I flew." The voice still lisped but now echoed with a power I hadn't felt in years. 

      "What, what, somethings wrong." The floor twisted.

      "Yeah,  the poison finally kicked in didn't it?" Larve stood over me, blurry and smug. It blocked your mojo honey boo."

      "Poison?" I gasped. "A roofie?"

      "Sure, but this one took months to get you to this point. Where you couldn't run, couldn't fight back."

       "But you're gay? You are my friend?" I asked weekly.

      "Oh ick, it's not about putting anything in.  It's about taking things out. Harvesting time."

       The knife glinted in his hand.  I should have ran. I should have dropped a flaming rock and caved in his flaming head. But I couldn't do anything. 

      A scratch at the door. 

      "Cats are back,'' I whispered. 

      "Don't worry, they will be feasting soon." Larve said. He laughed. "Someone has gotten close. The poor idiot is the appetizer. You are the main course."

        A bright light filled the air. A howl of wind. The glass in the windows cracked and exploded. The door snapped from its hinges.  I should have used the distraction to run but instead I just sat there like a Gerald… I mean an idiot. Gerald is an idiot.

       "What in the world?" Larve muttered. He looked up so that the arrow could hit him in the face.

      This is when I first met Cleo DarkSpell. She strode in, crossbow aimed and rapier drawn. Her black armor gleaned from the explosion still rippling outside. Her hair jade black seemed to glow from a light coming off her blade. 

     The poison was making me trip super hard.

     "Private party!" Larve screamed. The arrow still in his brain didn't bother him. Figured he didn't use it, he said my favorite shorts made my butt look fat. His hand stretched into a sickle from my childhood farm.

      This lady didn't blink.  She blocked the sickle spun around a second attack and then thwack! Off goes the arm. No big deal, he just grew a new one.

      "Gerald! I need containment!" The lady screamed. 

       "Dealing with the scratchers!" The very British came back. "Essie is trying to banish them but they have an anchor!"

        "The anchor is in here trying to disembowel me!" The woman screamed back.

     More claws, more cuts and rolls and limbs dropping. I was struggling to keep up.  I think I was drooling, how embarrassing.

      "Just a simple job you said! Nothing about a freaking hoard master!" Gerald entered the room a blur of blues and reds and yellows and purple hair.

      "Freaking idiot" I slurred. 

      "What did she bloody say?" Gerald screamed.  He swatted a tentacle away with a baseball bat. 

       "She called you an idiot," Cleo said.  "Now stop pissing around and contain this thing.

     Well that's rude! I have a mind just to leave and let this thing dissect her!"

     "Not your call thankfully. Just do it!" Cleo shot back. I think a part of her armor was shredded by a close call. 

     "Kill you!" Larve screamed as his human features melted away leaving a blob of teeth and claws. I mean what? He used to give me beauty tips!

    "Fine" Gerald screamed as his bat erupted with energy and sprouted thorns. (Right? Batshit nuts).

    Cleo cut down the claws leaving an opening and no question who the brains of this operation was.

       The bat hit dead on, hitting Larve's chest. He stumbled back slamming into our counter.

        "You bitch!" He screamed as he (it? I don't know the appropriate pronoun for blob) oozed forward. 

        The thorns from the bat dug into his body.  Gnigt stopped. His mouth hung open. Roots shot from his lower blobernous form and dug into the ground. Bark covered the bulbous zits and pustules on Larve's form, encasing him.  Branches burst out, and then flowers.  My roommate was a tree.

      "You turned my roommate into a tree!" I tried to say.  I think they just heard gibberish.  I could feel Cleo's breath on my face.  

       "Essie, we need you!" Cleo screamed all in my face. 

         "Yeah Nessie, give me a ride." I mumbled.

         "Did she call me a sea serpent? A thin oriental woman said as she strode in. She walked strangely, moving from one side to another, almost swaying. “I don't know what is more nasty. The present or the future.” she added as she avoided blobs of cut off gay roommate.

 Was she dancing? Now was not the time to dance!

        Her blue dress scratched and torn, glided across the threshold.

           "Monster slain, let's leave this tart!" Gerald screamed. 

          "Now Gerald, you need to watch your manners. She needs help." Essie the sexy weirdo, not a sea serpent, responded.

         "Can you help her?" Cleo asked.  She waited for Essie to join us on the floor.  "Gerald, collectors like this can come in groups.  Keep an eye out.

           "Aye aye captain!" Gerald said. Did he salute? Probably. He left the room with my smokes. Holy shit, my smokes!

           "This is bad." Essie muttered. "Hags grass, hell hound tooth, venom of some sort. This is nasty. It cut off her spirit. She is going to die."

          "I am going to what?" I almost got the words out.

          "Can you heal the damage?" Cleo asked. There was urgency in her voice. I think she kind of cared.  

         "I can.. I see that she lives." Essie said, her voice strained. "I can save her. But will she be able to use her magic again?  I don't know."

         "We need her magic for the festival." Cleo muttered.

          Festival? I think that will be a hard pass.

         "The damage is on a level beyond me. What should we do?" Essie paused and waited. 

        "Save her." Cleo said. "Gerald gets a new friend."

        And that is how I became part of the Midnight Quartet.

I tipped back my drink and let the blissful fire run down my throat. I took a puff of the cigarette I had nicked from Amberly yesterday and just let the smoke lazily flow up above into the rafters of this old shit pub.

   I hated being back in the old country. Alone and exposed. I barely made it out with all my fingers and toes the last time. Enemies abound all that bullocks. Still there was a job to do and this time I was the one who had to do it. 

      I didn't need Cleo to tell me that things were picking up. I could feel it in my veins. The thrum, thrum, thrumming of the seed planted in my chest growing bigger and stronger as it amped up and pushed my little twig of a branch to its limits.

     I saw it in Essie's eyes when she woke us up with banshee screaming. It is like watching a deer staring at an oncoming car. Always one eye in the future. Always seeing a dead world. Even that worthless spaz, Amberley seemed to know something was coming. A waste of space for three years, but suddenly she knows all about the end of the world. Ah well, at least she had a knack for finding good smokes.

       "You want another drink mate?" The bartender was a pleasant fellow. Old, bald, fairly plum. He filled his plaid shirt and suspenders more than the original designer intended but that's none of my business.

        "Yeah why not?" I muttered as I produced another note and put it on the table.  "One more for the road eh?"

        "You got business in town eh?" The guy wobbled a bit before grabbing the whiskey and sloshing it into my glass. He didn't mind the smoke I puffed into his face. 

        "More or less, mostly just going to get my *** handed to me before getting insides dumped into a wheel barrel." I muttered. I closed my eyes.  One of those things was nearby, a strong one.

        The man chuckled. "Old lady busting your balls?"

       I choked a bit on my whiskey. "Not in the way you are saying.  I don't have an Old lady but I have a boss. She said to me, Gerald, we need to go to this concert. It is important, it is the entire reason the company was founded."

      "That must be some rock show." The bartender said. He grunted and eyed the food menu. I ignored him, finished my drink and motioned for another.

     "Yeah big show. " I grunted as my glass was filled.  "Only problem is we don't know shit about it.  We don't know when, or how, or where. We don't even have tickets and as far as we know the fucking thing is sold out!" 

       I was getting worked up. The roots inside were pushing into my veins and feeding me power I didn't need...yet. Just like I could feel that thing crawling around the edges of senses, it could now feel me too. It wouldn't be long now. Once it figured that I couldn't stand up to it in raw power it would come for me. 

      "Tough break mate." My new friend said as he gave me another drink. "What are you going to do? "

      I slammed the drink and stood up. Wobbled a bit, I should have stopped two drinks ago.        "Scalping." I muttered. I fished a few more notes from my pocket and set them down. They should keep my friend stocked in jelly for a while. I adjusted my coat and headed for the door. 

      It was a cool night. I let the air sober me up. I took a moment to take in the scene, small town, old shops. Trees with golden and red leaves. It was almost picturesque. You wouldn't think it was home to a fucking monster.

     A rat scurried by my foot. It found me. I didn't have much time and I couldn't afford to pay to rebuild another bub. I kicked the rat and stumbled across the street towards a park. Bunch of trees, old playground. People may not notice the blood for a bit. 

     Flies were buzzing now, rats scurrying, the sound of locusts filled the air. A gestalt. One upon a time they were small little scavengers. A part of the natural world.  Now with all the trash, all the meat and forsaken souls… They were kings of the castle.

       The pests circled me for a bit.  Filling the sky and carpeting the ground. Cock roaches chittered and joined the rats. My entire world became a gestalt. My bat grew from my hand and I gripped the handle. I had to wait. 

       The insects and rodents collalessed, impossibly shifting and forming together until all of those things became the size of a man. Scratch that, a woman.  I sighed, of course it had to be someone I knew.

        "Sylvia, it has been a long time." I said pulling out a couple of cigarettes. I offered one to her.  Might as well try to be civil.

        "Gerald? I haven't seen you around here since I almost ate you." The demon cackled. She took the smoke and let me light it. 

        "Yeah well, I paused and watched her smoke.  "It is what you do. I can't blame you for that."

        "So you're not back for revenge?" She stepped away. 

        "We both know that would be pointless." I said.  "You're even bigger than before. Where are you getting all that human blood?"

       "I see you still have my jacket." In a flash she was behind me. Gorgeous red head pressed against me. I had to remind myself what was under the hood. Her hands traced the reds and yellows.

       I felt my body shudder despite trying to remain cool. She could reduce me to nothing but teeth and nails in a heartbeat. 

       "We had some good times, right?" I moved away from her.  She knew she was getting under my skin. I had to stay cool.  "I fought the local beats, you would give me info...add other things."

     "And then I got a better offer." She shook her head.  "I don't go back, only forward. Your yesterday's meal that got away Gerald. You should have never come back."

     "Couldn't stay away." I said, cracking a smile.  "New job is treating you right, but maybe I can make a better offer."

      "Doubtful my love, very doubtful. I know you are working for that remnant. I doubt you have much to offer."

      "I am sorry to hear that." I took a step away. "Best be going then."

      "Gerald, you know I can't let you leave." She licked her lips.  "Not after you killed that harvester three years ago.  That was a rare product."

      "Honestly she's not. You can have her." I could feel the thorns grow in my bat. 

      "Why wait?  I can have your delicious self now. The hand on my shoulder turned into creepy crawlies.

       I turned and swung. Her hand caught my bat with little effort.  The thorns released their seeds. Roots exploded as the tree formed around her containing her. The bark cracked just as quickly as it was formed. The explosion sent me flying back. Shrapnel of wood dug into my skin. I merged into a tree as the force pushed me all the way through. I bounced off the ground a few times. 

     I tried to recover but she was faster.  She was already standing over me the moment I looked up.  Her body separated and engulfed me. I used the bits of tree stuck in my skin to grow a tree around me. Just like before the tree began cracking instantly.

      "You always were a one trick pony!" Her laughter was now the sound of ten thousand pests and rodents.

      As the tree was ripped away I extended my roots to touch the roots of another tree. I traveled through one tree to the next just as my oak shield was torn apart. She reformed together to look for her kill.  Perfect.

     A spray of sap left my left hand striking her in the face but quickly spreading to cover her. "Then you should know how I like to finish." I said breathlessly. No expanding, no getting out. It was a trick and it just bought me time. It wouldn't hold her forever. It was already cracking in places. 

     I focused my energies and channeled them into some of the deepest magic of the seed that was buried into my chest. Five vines burst from my arms. The arms snapped out like serpents wrapping around Sylvia's body.

     The amber around her face crumbled away as she screamed in frustration and rage.  "You disgusting pig!" She screamed she spat a few roaches my way. I ground them into the dirt.

     "So this is easy, I have five questions. Tell me honest answers and a vine breaks, if you lie they will tighten. Lie enough and I just might squish you. "

        "Or I break free, I eat you and your clothing, tacky jacket and all." 

       "Don't say that. This jacket was a gift. I am willing to play those odds if you are." I said. I flexed my arm causing the vines to stretch and dig in just a bit. She winced, and then growled. The earth shook as tens of thousands of tiny insects and rats all at once. It was the sound of the fucking devil.

       "Let's not make this harder than it has to be love." I said as casually as I could. I spoke as I looked for an escape route. If she got loose now, I was a dead man. "Who are you working for?"

        "**** you!" The voices hissed.  The vines tightened.

        "Either amber breaks or you do." I replied. "Could I leave by the root systems?  No, they did not give me enough distance.

        "There is no escape." Sylvia said. Her eyes were hungry.

      Shit, she figured it out. "Who do you work for?"

       "An arch Cultist. A powerful one. An ancient one."

       A vine snapped. Shit, I need details! Cracks were forming in the amber. I was running out of time. "You are gathering components for him. What kind of spell is he casting?" 

       "It is an awakening spell." She said, Another vine snapped. Bits of amber were dropping to the ground next to her. 

      This wasn't getting me anywhere. She was smart enough and strong enough that her half truths were enough for my spell.  "Who are you trying to awaken?" Was the ground shifting under my feet? No, that was the whiskey.

       She smiled. "I don't know, and I do not care."

       Shit! Another vine snapped. I had only two questions left.  I wiped sweat from my face. She was only going to give vague answers. I had to use that to get something useful.   "This creature, does it reside in another realm?" I was grasping at straws. 

       "Clever, yes, the awakening is for a being not of this realm. That might have helped you.  It is a shame you are out of time."

       "What are you…." The ground shifted violently. I lost my balance and fell to my knees as the fourth vine snapped.  That was not the whiskey. "How long ago did you escape from my trap?" I smiled grimly.

        "I was free of your little trap since question one."  The amber cracked and fell just as the last. "But I needed time to prepare a trap of my own."

         "What are you…"

         The world exploded into bark, sawdust and splinters. I dived to the ground and covered my face. I tumbled and rolled as the ground twisted and rolled around underneath me. Pieces of wood bit into my arms and legs. The shrapnel would have ripped me apart if I didn't use the last of my energy to form another layer of iron bark skin. Even that was punctured

 Dead wood ripping through my armor and flesh leaving cut and bleeding, but alive

       The saw dust and cloud of dirt settled. Every single tree was gone. The force of Sylvia's attack left the area decimated. The ground once smooth and flat now jagged claws of dead roots and creators. The playground, a slide, a swing set, and a merry go round were left mangled and torn into aluminum ribbons. Then there was Sylvia, as fancy as could be, not a scratch on her.

        I think she was trying to talk to me. Something about no escape, luck running out, outsmarting me. Bla bla bla. I mean she was right, but the was no reason to rub it in.

         Somehow I stood up.y bat covered blood, most likely my blood pulsed with anger. I let out a guttural scream and charged. 

         Don't try attacking a swarm of rats and insects with a baseball bat. My last stand was over in a second. My bat passed through her body, maybe hitting a rat or two. What hit me was a freight train of a fist. I coughed blood.

         "Well that was fun Ger

 You really know how to help a girl burn a few extra calories."

     Great, I could hear her again. In the distance I heard sirens.  There was no way the area around the park was left unscathed. I thought of the bloke and his pub.  Poor guy, hope he made it. "We made quite the mess. Let's call it a draw." I said. I tried to stand but only managed to sit up.

         "Not this time" Sylvia opened her maw to reveal the swarm.  "I need my post work out snack"

          I am not sure why I saw it.  Maybe it was the fact that thousands of little pests were going to rip me apart and eat me. But just as she went to strike the finishing blow a red fly flew into her body.

        Sylvia paused and stiffened. Her eyes widened. A smile crept over her face. 

        "You luck out after all." Sylvia stated. God, her smirk was annoying. "Work calls, I just don't have the time to digest you."  Her smile faded. "Stay out of my home! We are not doing this a third time."

      The world became a swarm of rats and insects again. It flew around me and then it was gone. Thank goodness a Gestalt has the metabolism of a lazy snake. I looked for my smokes. One left, hopefully Amberley picked up more. My cell on the other hand was not lucky. It was less a phone and more a jigsaw puzzle now.

      I waited a moment to see if Sylvia was coming back. When I didn't die horribly I forced myself to stand

       I grit my teeth and pulled a giant splinter from my arm and started walking. I didn't get the tickets, but I might have narrowed down the venue. I needed a phone to call Cleo, I needed to get out of town, most of all I needed another drink.

I woke with a jolt, my left eye snapping open. Lying next to me was a stinking rotten corpse. Decaying rotten strands of her once beautiful red hair covered bits of shattered skull. Her skin that had rotted and sloughed off lay in a gruesome mess over the bed and spread over the floor.

      I gagged and stifled a scream. I rolled out of bed onto the floor. The carpet moved as rats scurried away from me.  The wind that went through the scattered apartment complex smelled of rotting burnt meat. The sound of insects and rodents filled the air. 

      A beast made of smoke and ash rose before me just as it always did. A gatekeeper, a hunter, I honestly wasn't sure what to make of it. I never had the time. I closed my left eye and opened my right. 

       Early sunlight splashed through the now whole, undamaged windows. The floors were clean, the air fresh. My gaze lingered on the beautiful woman who had been sleeping next to me.  Her red hair cascading down her face tantalizing me as it flowed under the blanket to the wonders that lay underneath. It was almost enough for me to return to her bed. But then I opened my left eye.

         The future, well, it was not easy to describe. And to be fair an apocalypse has never really looked good on anyone, not even the pretty….Gwen? Gloria? Grace? Her name started with a G...or was it a J? Well she is gorgeous but in the future she is a disgusting corpse just like everyone else.

       I felt for my eyepatch finding it on the table, the roughly hewn sapphire making it easy to locate. I slipped this over my left eye and taddah back in the present. I grabbed my floral print dress and pulled it over my head.  It cascaded down my body, gripping at just the right spots. Cleo was not into fashion, Amberley tried but hasn't found her voice yet. I was the fashionable one. 

      Jacqueline's (nope) closet was open. We were about the same size. I looked through her closet as I slipped on my peek a boo heels. Ooooo that black dress is cute. 

      Jadzia (no, that's star trek) began to stir. Her eyes cracked open. "What the hell?" She asked all cute and groggy.

       I did the briefest of touches to her mind.  "Sleep now baby, dream of me." I whispered.  Back to sleep she went. That was one problem solved. 

        I grabbed the red prada dress on my way out as well.  It was not like she was going to need it in the future. I moved around the icky gross floor. I mean it was clean but in the future? Disgusting. I reached the door, took a last look at my red headed angel. Could I stay one more night?  No, I told Cleo I would be back and Amberley was already waiting for me. 

       I strode through the hall avoiding the future gooey spots. Even with the eyepatch a lot of the gore and grime bled through. I took a look in the elevator and chose to take the stairs. I walked through the lobby getting looks as I crisscrossed to avoid literal pools of human blood and bile. A little hopp over bile and through the open door.

        Amberley was waiting for me as expected. She stood by Cleo's Lada Nida digging in her purse. I tried to ignore what she was standing in, after all it wasn't really there. 

        "Holy balls Nessie, this is all kinds of swank." Amberley said. "Did you just have an affair with the Tesla guy?"

          "A model actually." I said with a smile. "And no names!"

         "Well of course. A lady does not lick and tell. Mom gave me the keys to her tank. You want to go somewhere fun?"

          "Always my dear, but no, Cleo needs us back at HQ. Gerald will be contacting us soon." I sat in the passenger seat and waited for Amberley.

          "You mean the condo right?" Amberley said. "It's just a condo. I mean it's Los Angeles but still just a condo."

          "Cleo likes to call it HQ." I said with a smile. "What's important is that Gerald is safe and she should know that."

          "Good, we tried his cell and couldn't get a response. Not that I care if he is dead or alive, the idiot."

      "Of course." I responded, pretending to not be able to read people's thoughts and emotions.

       "He stole my smokes again. The ones I order from London? That's seventy dollars plus shipping, freaking idiot!" Amberley sat in the driver seat and started the car.

       "Well with the amount you spend on hair dye and fancy cancer it's no surprise you're broke." I added. I have seen Amberley in the future, always alive in some form or another.  The same couldn't be said for Cleo, or Gerald, and I was an unknown.

            We spoke like this for a while as Amberley weaved out of traffic like someone desperately trying to increase the price of their automobile insurance. I used to love driving but the gift made it all but impossible. It was too difficult to discern future cars and wreckage from the present. For instance was the traffic jam we hit real or was it just another line of abandoned future cars?  With time I can sort it out.  But at forty-five miles per hour? Not a chance.

          HQ (the cando) was across town in Playa Vista. I did my best to navigate but even with psychic powers the roads of Las Angeles were too chaotic to track every variable. Still, between my abilities and Amberley's indy 500 driving we made good time. We still had ten minutes before Gerald would call.

     Although we all mostly called this place home. It was Cleo's. It was a fact that was driven home the moment you stepped through the door. Clean,  minimalist style, white walls, dark blue carpet. A brown couch with matching loveseat and rocker with two end tables and a coffee table in the center.

        It was the only truly clean room in the city. Not just in the present but the future. Upon entering I felt both a very real sense of calm and just as real overwhelming fear. There was no life here, no happiness and from what I could see with my left eye there wouldn't be any in the future. Not even the desperate last stand that I could see in so many homes and neighborhoods.