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If I Disobey The Duke

chapter 1 - prologue

“No, Duke, I don’t want to sin more than I already have. I’ll do whatever you want from now, please…”

The black veil attached to Lily’s long silver hair loosened and fell onto the floor of the chapel. Her elegant eyebrows scrunched together as tears pooled in her green eyes..

The silver candlestick and the cross, which were supposed to be on the altar, were sacrilegiously on the floor along with her underwear.

The moonlight streaming through the tinted glass didn’t warm her at all she laid on her back; it wasn’t even enough to help her see her husband. She struggled weakly, hair fluttering.

A hand pressed down on her stomach, so big and strong that it seemed that it could grip her entire head. She paled, twisting her waist against the weight. It was to no avail, as the large man leaned even further into her.

An overwhelming, masculine scent filled her nose. His powerful physique made Lily feel like a gazelle caught in a wild beast’s den.

“Sin… it’s a word that suits me, not you.”

A devilishly mesmerizing low-pitched voice rang into my ears. It sounded heavy and deep as if it came from a cave.

It was a devilishly mesmerizing baritone, like a deep rumble from a cavern. Lily didn’t seem to notice how it sounded like he was restraining his anger.

This was the first time she heard his voice.

“Tell me. Who were you mourning for until our wedding day today?”

Lily wore a plain black dress that covered her from neck to toe in uncomfortable and unsightly fabric. Even if she really was mourning, the outfit was just too excessive.

“Is it for your first husband who died during the war? Or is it for your second husband who died recently?”

“It’s not like that. I’m really… Ah!”

He turned her over until she was on all fours. A hand mercilessly slid into her dress. The sound of the stiff fabric crumpling accompanied her scream.

It was obvious what a touch to the inner thigh meant. Tension and fear curled in her gut as the duke firmly held her by her hair, causing her to look up and see the sacred artefacts and statues on the wall. Her conscience flinched.

Lily shut her eyes and his voice pierced through like a punishment once again.

“Or were you thinking about your third husband’s―my―death?”

Duke Vladislav de Winter. And as of today, Lily’s third spouse.

They were supposed to be having their wedding in this very chapel.

Lily was unable to answer his question as his fingers unexpectedly dug into the apex of her thighs. Thick, calloused fingers spread her flesh and brushed against a particularly sensitive spot.

Electricity coursed through her body.

Her experience in this area consisted mostly of rough touches before sexual intercourse. It usually didn’t take long, to be honest. Even her second husband barely did anything.

Like her other husbands, she also expected him to penetrate her immediately even as she was trembling in fear.

Instead, he leaned over and brushed her hair off her slender neck, pressing his lips to her newly-exposed nape. The kisses were slow and sensual at first, until he sucked on her skin and caressed that area with his tongue. Lily shuddered.

His fingers pressed into an area she hadn’t known existed, and a jolt quickly traveled up her spine.

“Ah, hoo…. Ah…!”

I didn’t know that there were places where women could feel pleasure too.

Her nerves were set on fire with each rub of his fingers, inhibitions slipping away. She stiffened, and an unfamiliar heat began gathering in her lower abdomen.

Lily could only gasp frantically like a fish dragged onto the surface of the water, in disbelief at how obscene the sounds coming out of her were.

No, in fact she couldn’t even afford to think about it.

“N-No… Ha! Stop, t-this is weird. It’s weird! Haa…”

Words were beyond her as her eyelids fluttered and she panted as if she was about to faint.

He rubbed his fingers skillfully around the swollen area.

A hot and sharp sensation flooded her.

“Ah… ah! Duke, thi-this is sc-scary, hah! Hoo! Stop!”

Pleasure exploded from his fingertips. Lily closed her eyes, trembling from the stimulation and nearly forgetting to breathe. His other hand that was holding her hair shifted to slip a finger inside her mouth. It pressed down on her tongue.

“Relax,” he whispered quietly into her ear. “Breathe in and out. Slowly… just like that.”

The movements of his hand were slow and soothing, as if trying to calm her down.

The moment her breathing started to ease, he gradually stirred his finger in her mouth.

As his fingers slowly coveted her sensitive mouth, a warm breath erupted from Lily’s throat.

A strangled moan escaped her throat. Lily had no strength left in her legs, the heat and feeling of her first climax lingering as she was now lying flat on her stomach. Where she could feel fingers caressing her inner thigh, she also felt a hardness that revealed his own arousal. Her back and hips jerked involuntarily.

“Now answer, my lady. What are you doing here?”

She shivered at that low-pitched voice of his, like an instinctual reaction to a threat.

Holding onto her last bit of reasoning, Lily barely managed to open her mouth. “I prayed for forgiveness, and that my husband wouldn’t die this time. Really… “

His grip on her hair loosened as he started to gently stroke her hair. “You’re honest. Good job.”

The words spoken were sweet, as if complimenting a young child, but the beast-like tone held a dangerously strong desire.

Mimicking his words, the kiss he pressed to her neck was sweet and kind.

His thick forearm on the side that pressed her head earlier penetrated between Lily’s torso and stomach. His enormous hand squeezed her round ****** from bottom to top.

One of his thick arms slid under her torso, and the enormous hand kneaded her ****** thoroughly.

A shallow moan echoed through the chapel each time he persistently touched her over the fabric.

He pinched the peak of her ******, pulling torturously, rolling gently, and pressing firmly. Her mind went dangerously blank with pleasure as she was being stimulated simultaneously in two different places

The finger caressing her thigh was now drenched. Lily instinctively knew where his large hand was headed for next. He rubbed her, her waist quivering in response.

Still sensitive from her climax earlier, she was drenched and swollen, as if anxious to swallow him. However, fear and denial instinctively rose within her when she felt his hardness again. It was clear that they really were going to do it.

She shook her head desperately. “I-I can’t do it anymore. I really can’t.”

For her, relationships with men are either one of the two: boring or painful.

It was obvious why this man would act this way.

Because he is the emperor’s illegitimate son, a war hero notorious to be cruel, Duke Vladislav de Winter.

“You have a habit of lying,” he whispered roughly. “Your underwear is soaked. If we just leave you like this, you might just melt.”

The duke’s harsh breathing stoked the fire in her belly. Lily shifted onto her side to reach and grab the arm between her legs. His skin was hot, the muscles underneath rock-hard.

“If you put it in, you will die. I hate this, I really, really do. No more―ah!”

(t/n : the dying part is talking about her previous husbands)

He slipped his fingers inside her without hesitation, blood rushing to his face.

Shivers ran down her spine. Her initial fear and guilt disappeared as Lily’s cheek pressed into the floor, her hips nearly chasing his touch.

“Ah, ah… ahnng… Ah…!”

The duke quickened the pace of his movements and so her obscene moans rang louder. At some point, she began to sob at the pleasure flooding her body. “Even if I die because of you, that’s what I want,” he muttered.

Lily just gasped beneath him, her face pale.

His fingers brushed against a sensitive ridge inside her that had Lily arching her back. She struggled against him, against the continuous pleasure…

“Ah! A-again… Ahhh…!” She tightened around him.

The duke burst into a low, excited breath.

Lily’s fingertips and toes stiffened with the pleasure of all her nerves being set alight.

“You’re mine from now on. Don’t forget, all of this…”

White-hot pleasure cut off her senses, and her eyes rolled back into her head before she could hear the end of the sentence.

Chapter 2

“She’s filthy. If I were her, I’d have already committed suicide. If she continues to remarry like this, she might just end up as a high-class **********.”

“Shhh! Be quiet. This time, she’s a duchess.”

Lily stopped her tracks before reaching her carriage. Their voices were soft, but also loud enough for everyone to hear. She kept quiet, though, and kept her green eyes downcast even as she clenched her pure white dress.

Her father followed her. Shilok Isles poked her daughter’s shoulder with a cane. “Don’t procrastinate and hurry up. We have to meet your new husband before it’s too late.”

As always, he was not interested in finding out who insulted his daughter.

His silver hair was quite tidy, and still thick for his age. The clothes on his skinny body were properly washed and ironed as well. He gazed coldly at his daughter entering the carriage without an escort.

He used the cane and prevented her nanny from entering the carriage after Lily.  “Keep an eye on her. She must not die, get injured or be hated until she gives birth to the duke’s child.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, My Lord.”

The carriage door closed with a heavy thud.

***

Throughout the week-long journey, there was little conversation among the passengers.

Lily spent most of the time looking out of the window, staring at the gorgeous scenery they passed by.

By the time they were closer to their destination, the nanny spoke.

“I’m grateful that there is still a noble family that accepts a woman like you who had been married twice. From now on, stay as still as a doll. A woman will be well-liked by her mother-in-law if she does what her mother-in-law tells her to do.”

One corner of Lily’s mouth went up. “…Everyone will hate me no matter how obedient I am.”

She recalled her ex-husband’s funeral. Her ex-mother-in-law attacked her with the ferocity of a tiger, as feeble-bodied as she was.

“You killed my son! It’s all because of your curse!” The viscountess went and grabbed her hair. Lily just silently endured it.

“No matter how rich you are, you shouldn’t have let my son die! Die! Die and return my son! Die for my son!”

The first person who ran into the room during the mess was Lily’s younger brother Crocus.

“What a crazy old woman… Why is it my sister’s fault that your sick son died?” He pulled Lily’s ex-mother-in-law’s hands away from Lily’s hair. Lily staggered, snapping out of her thoughts.

“Why do you think my son would get sick for no reason!”

Perhaps Lily’s ex-mother-in-law realized that the other person was too strong, so she grabbed the cane that had been thrown away. Lily threw herself between them to protect her brother.

The sound of the cane hitting Lily’s face reverberated through the room.

She straightened. “Stop… Crocus. Calm down and gather yourself.”

The maids in mourning clothes rushed into the room.  They glared while supporting the weeping old lady.

Lily kept her head down like a sinner, holding onto her brother so that he wouldn’t add fuel to the fire.

Crocus turned to his sister as soon as the door closed.

Her hair was disheveled, lips bleeding and cheeks swollen. There were even bruises starting to form along her eyelid where she was hit by the cane.

“Why did you stop me? I don’t care how many canes that old woman has! Why the hell are you as skinny as a tree branch!”

“This is nothing. You shouldn’t let your feelings control you.”

“You’re always like this. The only thing you know how to do is endure.”

“It’s fortunate to have that between us siblings. At least one of us is patient.”

Crocus was about to reply, but the opening door interrupted him.

“Father,” he said.

Lily instantly stiffened, unlike when she saw her ex-mother-in-law.

But unlike her, Crocus seemed to be relieved by their father’s appearance.

“Father, we should call a doctor. Just now, Lily’s ex-mother-in-law…”

“Crocus, I’ll take care of it, so go out and don’t let anyone in until I’m done talking to your sister.”

Crocus nodded.

Lily almost gave in to the urge to make him stay, but she realised she’d just be pathetic if she were to rely on her younger brother and just swallowed her breath.

The atmosphere in the room was as heavy as lead. Her shoulders tensed as her father glared at her.

Shilok slapped the black cane onto his palm. “I’ve found another marriage partner for you. Prepare for your next marriage as soon as you return. I’ll get an expensive doctor to get rid of the scars on your face.”

“Yes…?” Lily’s eyes widened. “Are you…. doing that again?”

Shilok only raised an eyebrow in response

“But today is… It has only been less than an hour since my ex-husband got buried.”

“Today? Today’s the day you became a widow without a son again. I already told you before that I do not have plans to leave a woman with no children in my family.”

“On the day of Yunek’s death, you also decided on it by yourself. This time again… without me, Father…”

(t/n : Yunek is one of the ex-husbands)

Lily bit her lips. She knew why her father acted that way. Nonetheless, a desperate need to speak up clawed at her. “What if I can’t…”

Shilok frowned as if he couldn’t comprehend what she was saying.  “Don’t tell me you’re attached to your ex-husband. A sickly guy who was always ill and couldn’t even walk. He was abusive and poured boiling water on you.”

“You’re going overboard.” Her fists clenched.  “How could you still do this to me when you knew everything?”

“If you don’t marry into a noble family, we will end up as commoners again. Do you want to see us lose everything?”

Her father didn’t stop there. “You’ll just have to find a noble family who can support us. I know that you’ve contributed a lot. The jewelry mining business, from the beginning to the distribution, is all under my control…” He paused. “But you still have to get married, you stupid girl.” He pointed his black painted cane straight at Lily. “Do you know there’s people after the jewelry business? That’s why you need to get married so we can gain support. Otherwise, we’ll all have to live on the streets when you were a child.”

Lily stopped breathing.

Chapter 3

Castle of the Monster (1.2)

Shilok’s eyes gleamed. He knew about his daughter’s weakness too well.  “Your younger siblings don’t know what poverty is. As the eldest daughter, will you really let your younger siblings starve miserably?”

Her shoulders unmistakably relaxed with resignation

“But if you really don’t want to get married, you don’t have to. I can’t force the eldest daughter to get married, even though it does feel like a refusal to do your duty.”

“If I’m really cursed… If I get married and my husband dies again…”

“If you’re worried about that, give birth to a child as soon as possible. Whether your husband is ugly or not, you must be able to tolerate it. You’ve been through this before. Also, if you manage to conceive a child, you’ll live your life as a noble lady, then you won’t have to marry for the fourth time.”

Lily’s last recollection of that day was when Shilok gently stroked her chin. To her father, she was no different from a broodmare in the stables. The only reason for her existence is to have her body used by an aristocrat and give birth to a baby.

“…Why do all men like it so much?” she murmured to herself as she gazed at the lush nighttime view.

The nanny raised her head at Lily’s words. “Women don’t feel much pleasure when they do that. That’s why the first night is important. It would be nice to have children immediately rather than to suffer.” The nanny sighed.

“Don’t be rude to your new husband. You know about the duke’s notoriety, don’t you?”

“I know. He’s the war hero who conquered four kingdoms.”

“Yes. Additionally, he’s an illegitimate child with the blood of a lustful woman who seduced His Majesty. It was a rather sordid affair.”

Lily smiled. “Then we’re similar. I’m an ungodly woman who is not innocent.”

Seeing her nanny fiddle with her dress, it was clear to Lily that she was on the verge of reprimanding her, but she pretended not to notice since she didn’t know anything about her nanny’s personality and habits.

Nevertheless, the reason Lily brought up the duke was because of the fear of entering the estate of her husband.

“The imperial family loathes gods and priests, but be careful with your mouth. I heard the duke enjoys eating human flesh, so his face is as ugly as a monster.”

Although Lily didn’t reply, she was curious. She had never seen her new husband’s face before.

***

It was morning when Lily woke up in the chapel. She bathed and freshened up, and warm soup and food had been carefully prepared for her when she finished. However, the duke was not anywhere in sight.

Even when she was back in the carriage, travelling to the duke’s estate, she remembered what she did with him.

The most shocking thing was the memory of the sharp and vicious pleasure that dominated every single nerve in her body.

Lily became curious, wondering if other women knew how sex felt like. She quickly became embarrassed by such thoughts and shook her head to clear them.

People would say that the more noble the woman’s soul is, the lesser amount of sexual desire they feel. It was basic knowledge.

Experiencing that feeling that she had never felt during my two marriages made her feel dirty.

Her thoughts ended at that due to the sudden shouting of the mercenaries hired as escorts.

“It’s just a monster! Damn it, what’s wrong with this monster that ‘s heading directly for the castle!”

“It’s because of you! I wouldn’t have come here if it’s not for more money!”

Soon after, the eerie sound of a beast’s cries pierced their eardrums and spooked their horses. The sun had already set and the forest was dark. And perhaps due to a loose wheel, the carriage Lily was in fell over.

The nanny and Lily screamed and rolled out of the carriage.

Lily didn’t know that the shock of falling to the ground would hurt this badly.

At the same time it felt like her scalp was on fire as her head was yanked upward as someone grabbed her by the hair.

“Ugh! What are you doing!”

“It’s because of this bitch. It’s clear that this bitch was the one who called out the monster! You have to slice her throat right away so that the monster will go away!”

“Are you crazy? She’s the duchess! The reason we’ll fall behind isn’t because of the monster but you!”

“I can die by the duke’s hands, but not by this monster! I don’t even think we can live before getting out of here!”

Rather than resisting, Lily was too overwhelmed to understand the situation.

The sky was dark, and the surrounding area was like a battlefield due to the cries of horses, shouts of mercenaries, and the roar of the beast.

In the meantime, the rough hand painfully pulled her like a sack by her hair.

Lily tried to grip the hand in her hair with her own delicate one.

There was no mercy in the fearful hands. Regardless of his colleagues trying to convince him to let Lily go, he pulled out a dagger and placed it on Lily’s neck. The serrated blade reflected the cold moonlight.

“Wa-wait…!”

The blood drained from her head in an instant.

Is this how I’ll die?

As she thought of death, Lily suddenly heard something flying through the air.

The man gradually lowered his dagger.

No mercy was shown.

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