What if we could change our future to change our past? I know it may sound very confusing, but just try to concentrate on what I am saying. We know that if you change the past, our future changes too. But did you know that the opposite is possible too? It’s pretty obvious I think, because I believe that everyone has this timeline string. If you cut either side of it, consequences are unavoidable. The length of the string either becomes shorter or longer. The string itself is tied to these two pillars which mark the beginning and end of your lifespan. This string does not define time but memories. Things that happened or will happen. You could say that this string is what we call “fate” or “destiny”. However, it is known that you can change your path. However it is risky to do this. Those two pillars which are connected to each other with the string stay in the same place. If the string becomes longer, you get a slump. But if the string becomes shorter, those two unmovable pillars will stretch it. This changes the conditions of the string in all its parts. So technically, changing the past, present or future are all dangerous.

‘Ugh, can you stop now? My brain hurts now’. Emily murmurs something inaudible to me. Alexis snoring, because she fell asleep. Zander pondering about what I said, probably pretending since he has never actually watched a single science-fiction movie about time travel. ‘Ugh, I think I have a headache, I’ve slept too much for a normal person’, said Alexis while rubbing her eyes awake from a 10 minute sleep. Zander who just has to make remarks about anything Sara does: ‘Maybe it’s because you have insomnia?’ Alexis, now annoyed at Zander: ’It’s hypersomnia you dweeb. Why do you always say the opposite? You’re lucky Collin is here, otherwise I would have smashed your face into a potato salad’. ‘Yeah, like you can do that with your small chicken fingers for a duck’.

‘Ugh, just shut up already, okay?’

Uhm, I can continue with my discussion about changing the future to change the past, right? Both saying simultaneously :‘NO!’ Well, I guess that’s that, recess is over. Emily glances towards to hall behind her, hinting us that it is time for her to go back to class. ‘Shall we go then’, says Alexis. We stand up and go to class together.

After school I meet Emily at the school entrance. ‘Hey Collin! I heard you got scolded by the teacher for talking too much during class’. Surprised at how she got to know this so quickly I then asked her: ‘Who told you? Alexis isn’t the gossip type and Zander just, doesn’t care much’. Emily then replies in a mocking way: ‘That’s because you happen to be one of those people who get a lot of “loud” attention’.

I guess I already knew what the reason was why she knows. Since kindergarten I have always received “special attention” from both teachers and other kids. Teachers would always label me as that kid who was up to no good. Why? Because I was too quiet. I didn’t really talk much back then and I rarely played with the other kids. But there was a reason for that. The first day of my life at school, I saw kids crying. I saw kids pleading their parents not to leave them with these strangers using whatever words they learned which seemed eligible to say to persuade their parents to take them home. However, I was the only one that wasn’t crying. I found it very strange to see so many other kids cry, because I got left behind by my parents at stores so many times. So I got used to being without my parents and being picked up by strangers and being brought to the store entrance.

And then you have kids who never really wanted to interact with me. There was always one or two, but those interactions were brief. If kids interacted with me, it would be because I either got something that fancies them. For example, a shiny new pencil or new shoes or bag. However not even that lasted very long. As you all know, the heat dies down. There is nothing you can do about it. That’s why they call it “fashion trends”. People eventually lose interest and act like it never happened or never was. I am what you could call “a human trend”. I’m not sure if that’s a fitting word for it but that’s all I can think of now. Things which are trending come and go just like how I come and go in people their minds and lives.

So what can I do? If people have no interest in me, I can’t force them to like me. I would be a very horrible person if I went to people and kept bothering them even though they told me to stay away from them. I am not a creep. I know what it would feel like if someone kept bothering you. I’ve had that with bullies. Why they kept picking on me, I don’t know. It’s not like I had anything they wanted.

‘Collin! Djeesh, there you go again, daydreaming’. Without realizing it I went silent again in front of Emily. ‘You seem like you are in serious need of a good time. What do you say we hang out at my place and play some cards and checkers and stuff?’

‘Uh, yeah of course. I’ll be there at six’.

‘Make that thirty minutes past four, if you’re late you’ll have to buy me ice-cream the next day after school!’

Emily then turns around and walks a bit fast towards the bus which she needs to go home. I bike home since I think it’s a waste to let all those calories sit in your body. Just kidding, actually I bike home since my parents can’t afford to pick me up or pay for the bus to bring me home. I got my bike sort of as a present from a cousin far away who didn’t use it anymore after graduating from junior high school. Now I bike six kilometers in total every day. It’s easy to bike in the morning with the cool weather and the sun hasn’t fully risen. But in the afternoon I might as well stay at school till the sun goes down. It’s so hot that it feels like I’m burning. Why do human beings have to destroy the ozone layer?

I know we need to produce in order to supply, but if there are ways to do it in a more green efficient way, why don’t we do it? But that’s my personal opinion I guess.

I wonder where Alexis and Zander are. Have they already left? I don’t see Alexis her bike anywhere. And Zander always gets picked up late by his dad. Do they perhaps have detention? I doubt it.

Suddenly I hear a scream coming from the hall to the left from the main one. First I think it’s probably a girl who didn’t realize she had lipstick on her nose or something like that and finally got to see her reflection on the glass from the classroom doors. But then I hear the person again.

‘Help!’

What should I do? Should I go and help? Or should I grab my bike and make a run for it?

Have you ever heard someone scream for help and hesitated if you should go and see what’s going on? Well, that’s what I am confronted with right now. Someone is screaming for help, but I don’t want to get myself into trouble like last time.

On March 12th 2019 I was confronted with the same situation. It was during recess when this happened. I was just going about my own business, ready to go to the cafeteria to sit with my three friends to socialize when I heard it. A boy yelling for help. I didn’t hesitate and went to help the person screaming for help. I ran as fast as I could, almost injuring myself in the process. When I arrived I saw two boys fighting over a book. It turned out to be a library book and one of the boys was sent by the librarian to go and get it from the other boy. Everyone else didn’t pay attention to the two quarreling boys and just went on with their daily necessities. Eating, talking, gossiping and making a mess in the toilets. I however, did pay mind to the two boys and went in to intervene. I didn’t know who started the fight or why one of the boys wanted to take the book from the other in the first place, so I went in as a neutral party.

‘Hey! Stop it both of you! Why are you guys making such a ruckus over a book?’ I said. ‘He is supposed to give it to me!’ Said one of the boys. Let’s call him Skipper.

‘No one gave you the authority to take this book away from me!’ said the other boy, who I will name Toby. ‘I already told you, the librarian sent me to take it from you, because it’s 4 weeks late!’

‘The librarian is no teacher, so she can’t tell you to take stuff away from me!’ said Toby, confident in his response towards Skipper. ‘That book you have isn’t from a teacher, so a teacher does not have the authority regarding this in the first place’, I then said. But suddenly Toby came at me, angry and probably thought I chose Skipper his side. He hit me so hard that a scratched my arm with his fingernails too. My arm started to bleed. When a teacher finally arrived, he grabbed me and Skipper and left Toby, not knowing that Toby was involved too. I got detention for a week and so did Skipper. We weren’t able to explain ourselves. The principal was furious and did not want to hear our “excuses” for fighting in the “sacred school halls”.

Now I am facing a dilemma. Should I go and intervene again and get myself into trouble like last time and many other times before March 12th 2019? I should at least go and see what’s going on. What if it’s not what I think it is? Maybe it’s someone who got hurt on the way out? Perhaps she slipped whilst running on a wet floor. Freshly cleaned by the Janitor.

You know what, I am going to go look what it is. While I walk fast but paced, I come near the hall where the person is yelling help. It turns out it’s a girl voice as I come closer. When I peak to see what’s happening, I see something I thought would never happen. Alexis being the one yelling help, while Zander is passed out on the floor, bleeding from his mouth.

Goodness, I cannot believe my eyes. I feel paralyzed, unable to move, unable to speak, unable to breath. But I mustn’t pass out too. Alexis comes running towards me and pulls at my arm. Relieved she says:’ Oh thank goodness you’re here Collin, you have no idea how glad I am to see you!’ She pulls me towards Zander and still holding my right arm in a pleading and crying manner asks me if Zander is okay.

I put my hand on his chest to feel his heartbeat. It’s beating rapidly. Alexis seems very worried. ‘Do you know what happened to him?’ Alexis shakes her head:’ No, all I saw was these two boys running away from Zander. Do you think they did this?’

‘I think they punched them in the stomach, and that’s why he’s bleeding from his mouth’. Alexis kneels next to Zander, coughing and waking up. ‘Let’s take him to the school nurse. She should still be here. She usually has problems with her car. Let’s hope she’s still here’. We both agree and carry Zander on our shoulders as we all walk together towards the parking lot. On the way Zander fully awakens. ‘Hey, are you okay?’ asked Alexis. Zander, coughing a bit then says in a shaky voice:’ I’m not sure. I feel like I’m my dad when he’s drunk, ha-ha’. ‘Shuuu’, hushes Alexis. ‘Don’t talk too much’.

‘Yeah Zander, now is not the time to tell us these things’. Zander, acting like he is drunk then says: ‘You can’t tell me to shush, I want to tell you then I’ll just tell you. ‘We’re here Alexis, do you see nurse Sara?’ Alexis: ‘That’s her car over there, but where is she?’ Zander then spots her behind her car, drinking from a wine bottle: ‘Isn’t that her over there?’ Alexis: ‘Good eye Zander’. We walk towards nurse Sara, who notices our footsteps and puts away the wine bottle quickly and then stands up. ‘Oh my- what happened?’

‘Zander was punc-‘. Alexis then interrupts me and says: ‘Zander started coughing blood in the middle of the hall’. ‘What did you do to yourself Zander?’ asked nurse Sara in an adult worrying like way. ‘The janitor already locked the school infirmary, so let’s take you to the clinic of a friend of mine. We’ll help you there, okay Zander?’

‘Fine with me’.

After a quiet drive to the clinic, Zander was being taken care of by nurse Sara and her friend the doctor. He seemed more like her boyfriend then just a “friend”. Zander, enjoying the attention since he doesn’t really get any from his parent. Alexis is sitting quietly, reading the magazines. I wonder what’s she’s thinking about right now.

‘Hey Alexis, what are you thinking about?’ I just want to ask her, but I don’t. Instead, I ask: ‘What are you reading?’ She then looks up and shows me the cover of the magazine and says: ‘You know, girl stuff you wouldn’t understand’. ‘Try me’ I said. ‘Hmm, okay, It’s about why we girls like to overthink things and say no when we mean to say yes or say yes when we mean to say no and stuff like that’. I respond: ‘Oh that sounds more like something guys should read, girls already know why they do those things, right?’

‘You have a point there, which makes me want to ask you this question’. ‘Okay, what is it?’, I ask. Alexis then asks: ‘Do YOU know why girls like me tend to overthink situation and say no when we mean to say yes etcetera?’ I then tell her: ‘Actually I do, otherwise I would not be friends with two of those girls right now’. ‘You usually overthink things because you want to have moments that are perfect, or when you worry about something or someone you overthink things that could happen because you want to be able to prevent certain situations from happening’. ‘The reason you say yes when you want to say no and when you say no when you mean to say yes, is because you want us guys to figure out what you feel’. ‘Sort of like a test if we guys truly love you are truly care, because if we did, we would know when you mean yes when you say no and when you mean no when you say yes’.

‘. . . . . I’m speechless, that’s not what it says in the magazine, but you’re answer seems more true than that of in the magazine’. ‘I didn’t realize you were so philosophical Collin, you’re amazing’. ‘Djee, thanks, uh, Alexis’, I say as my face starts to turn a little red from hearing Alexis compliment me in way she has never really done before. Nurse Sara comes walking through the door from the doctor’s office and then walks towards us. ‘Zander is fine now, you can go see him while I call his parents to take him home’.

‘Really, he can go home?’, asked Alexis who thought Zander had to stay here to recover. ‘Yes, really Alexis dear, go on ahead, he’s waiting for you two’. Alexis goes in with a sense of euphoria, probably because she’s happy she overreacted in her mind. ‘Aren’t you coming?’, said Alexis. ‘No, I’ll head home first’.

As I walk towards the main entrance to exit, a feeling emerges that I have forgotten something. I can’t seem to remember what it was, but I do remember that forgetting it would have consequences. I guess it wasn’t that important or else I would have remembered it. I think I’ll drop by Emily her place on the way home to be the first to tell her what happened.