"his breath under my skin, the smell of alcohol reeks from his tongue. his brunette, dark eyes with a glance of stars in my drunken state. my vision gets smaller and his hands wander down my thighs.

"Does my baby girl want me?" his raspy voice whispered.

He runs his fingers through my hair, his head thrown back while my body sits on top of him.

The sound of loud music makes my head dizzy, colored lights flickering in the room full of people.

His breath tickles against my neck again, "did you hear me, hm?"

"n-no, i didn't."  i replied, forgetting what i just said. i bury my head into his chest as my mind vibrates along with the music.

His arms wraps around my waist as I can barely hold myself up. I was drunk. A little too drunk. My vision gets more hazy, my eyes close into a deep sleep while his voice becomes further from me.

as he mumbles in my ears, he picks me up with my legs wrapped around his waist and carries me away from the noise.

When I open my eyes, his back faces me. broad shoulders with a simple black tee. His body and head turns to me dazed with a small smile.

"are you awake now?"

I rub my eyes "yes, i am"

i straighten up my posture. my head starts to become painful, vivid thumps in my mind becomes louder. I sigh and lay back down, i felt heavily exhausted.

he climbed on the bed and sat beside me. "what's your name?" he asks.

"Cassie", I answer.

"oh, cute" he giggles.

"and yours?"

"Julian. my name is Julian."

"Nice to meet you, Julian." I slur.

it took awhile to adjust the headaches and foggy memories. i looked around the dimmed room and quickly collected my thoughts in high definition. "what are you doing here? in this room? with me?!"

Julian laughs and proceeds to hold my hands under the sheets. "you were drunk and fell asleep. i carried you up here, so it would be more peaceful. aren't i the sweetest gentleman?" he winks at me.

my suspicion rises into the air, "and we didn't do anything?" i raise my eyebrow.

"nope." he confidently says. "but we could've..." he frowns with huge puppy eyes.

i widen my eyes. "excuse me?" i abruptly move my hands away.

"i mean... isn't that the reason why you came here?" he ignorantly asks.

my cheeks blush, "no! just because i decide to attend one of these things doesn't mean i consent to doing anything more.." i hold the blankets closer to myself. "and just because i get drunk doesn't mean you can do anything you want to me. i'm not like that."

"so is this your first time?" he bluntly asks.

caught off guard, i didn't know what to say. "what do you mean?"

"your first party? your first intimate moment?"

my first party? yes. my first intimate moment? yes.

i scoff, "no. of course not."

"are you sure?" he smirks and leans in closer.

i move further away and push dangling hair strands away from my face, "why would i lie?" my heart begins to beat a little quicker, and my guilt begins to rise. it doesn't feel good to lie about such things.

"because you're afraid." he traces his fingers on my thighs. "you see.. a drunk mind speaks a sober heart", Julian starts to twirl my hair in circles. "when we were down there, your lips were already leaving traces on my neck. would you like to correct me if wrong?"

and i did that? no, of course not. he's only making up lies just to get under my pants just like everyone else. "i didn't do that", i tense up. "i don't do things like that, i'm not like you."

he squeezes my thigh firmly. "like me?" i quickly catch my breath, as i didn't expect that.

"well.. yes. people like you think it's easy to get anyone just because you flutter their hearts when they're not thinking straight."

"and i am fluttering your heart?"

"and am i drunk?" i protest

he laughs and slides his hands to places that makes me gasp for air. "wouldn't you be lying if you said you didn't enjoy this?"

maybe.just maybe.

"let's flip a coin." Julian suggests. "if it lands on head, drink one bottle with me. just one."

"but one bottle is a lot, don't you think?"

"it really isn't.. this isn't your first time anyway, right?" he grins.

he makes me flustered, but those captivating eyes. the way he flirts with such a husky voice, i don't know if it makes the atmosphere between us colder or warmer. "fine, only one."

sinister arises as Julian pulls out a coin from his front pocket. "do you store those in there daily?" i utter with annoyance. "must be nothing new to you, huh?" sleeping with every girl."

"i don't like to answer confidential questions", he talks back.

Julian then flips a coin and i eye it as it falls on the bed. i squeal when i see that tails faces upwards, and brag in Julian's face. luck is definitely on my side today. "two more times", Julian strikes an attitude. "that wasn't the deal!" i blurted. "yes, it was. maybe you were too focused on something else and you didn't hear me." i roll my eyes at Julian. "do whatever pleases you then, big boss."

he flips the coin again. heads. "whatever", i scoff.

he giggles and flips the coin one last time. i focus on the copper coin that is thrown into the air and watch it as it falls down. we both look at each other and i give him a glare before i look down.

heads.

"this is annoying, i'm not playing your i games anyway." i get up from the bed and try to find the door. "this was a deal, babygirl." he follows me and pulls me back onto the bed. he pins me down and his body is only a few inches away from me, if he could, he could suffocate me by laying right on top of me.

"what are you doing?!" i shout.

"a deal is a deal that you owe me", he growls.

"you can't just make me do whatever you want to do, julian!"

he lifts up my chin, "but you told me that one bottle was okay if the coin flipped heads, and it did. why are you making a fuss when you've agreed to the terms?"

"i-" Julian is right. it's only fair because i've already agreed. silly me.

i swallow my pathetic pride, "because it's my first time!" i shake my head, gosh, i just want to throw up right now.

"doesn't matter."

i look up at Julian and noticed that his eyes grew darker. he isn't looking at me, his eyes are pierced somewhere else. "Julian?"

"just play the damn game. if you don't... just stop playing hard to get and making it frustrating."

i close my eyes and think about how i've agreed to his needs. i'm a person of promises, aren't i? i take a breath.. "okay, we can play. just be gentle on me."

"what's your favorite color?"

"white", i answer.

"what's your favorite drink?"

"hot chocolate", Julian answers.

"ever loved someone too much?"

"yes, why?" i ask. "you don't get to ask follow-up questions, baby."

"how many girls?

"too many to count."

"why come to a party if you're not going to let loose?" "experience."

"do you sleep with random girls?"

"yes."

"why keep your virginity for so long?" "pass."

Julian chuckles, "i knew you'd pass." he grabs a bottle of vodka and pours just enough into a shot glass.

"here you go", he hands the glass to me. i roll my eyes, "okay." i grab the glass and take a big gulp of the bitter drink. it tastes like watered down nail polish remover, "yuck." Julian watches to make sure every sip is not thrown into waste. "let's continue", he says.

"why me?"

"you're a gorgeous women. you're smart and not naive. i like that."

my body starts to tingle from Julian's compliments. "really?" i ask. "remember, no follow-up questions." "fine."

"do you think i'm handsome?"

"yes, but looks don't speak for personalities."

"do you really think i'm gorgeous?"

"of course."

"what's your ideal type?"

"someone who i can confess whatever feelings i feel.

sweet, genuine, and assertive."

"why only one night stands?"

"it's easier, and no feelings."

"what's your favorite turn-on?"

"pass."

Julian chuckles again, "you know what that means." he pours another shot and hands it to me. i swallow the sour drink again and my throat stings as it rushes down.

"what's your favorite turn-on then?

"girls who aren't afraid and can have

fun by enjoying themselves, and girls

who love their bodies."

and that's definitely not me, but something unusual sparks an intensity that just makes me want to rip off that shirt that covers magic.

"have you ever pleasured yourself?" "yes", and i suddenly cover my mouth. gosh, i didn't just say that, did i? i

didn't even realize it. "n-no", i say embarrassed. is it the drinks? why am i such a goddamn lightweight? i squeeze my eyes shut. stupid me.

"it's okay if you have. everyone does it. even me." Julian moves closer, filling the space between us. i ignore his words and continue. there is no way i'm the only one getting drunk. i think and think about something that will throw him off. oh yes, of course!

"have you ever fell in love with an

one night stand?"

"no."

damn it. this is going to be challenging.

"my turn. and if i wanted to f**" you right there.. would you let me?"

my ears start ringing red,

"excuse me, what?"

"i said.. would you let me f*** you right there in that black dress?"

what the hell? do i say yes or no? yes means yes and no means no, and i don't want to say yes or no. what should i say?

"it shouldn't take you this long to answer a question, just tell me", Julian demands.

i play with my fingers, "maybe", i say quietly.