Hello friends, this is a short description of what happened till now in my life.

I Madhu was born on 16 May,2004 and one month after that my neighbor had a daughter too. Her name was shreya, born on 16 june 2004, now she is my fake friend.After 11 days of that day on 27 th june 2004 another neighbor of mine had a son, named soumalya, now he is one of my good friend but unfortunately I have to take him as a competetor.

Shreya &I were in same primary school and there she showed me how mean a person could for getting praises. She made me feel isolated and ditched our friendship, may be I was a fool that I believed that we could be good friends. we were alloted in same high school so I forgave, thinking that we could be friends again, but I was wrong.

My life became more complicated when I a crush on my rumored lover named Pratim whom I hated just because of that rumor, I didn't know how it happened, may be cause he flirted very much Which I thought as love or maybe he was my type.After knowing that I had feelings for him, I tried to ignore those feelings, when I wasn't successful I tried to be good friends with him, but unfortunately one of his crush named soumi knew that I had a crush on him, I knew that both I and soumi felt the same way, so I became good friends with her, but the problem began when soumi always told about Pratim and I just couldn't help myself from thinking about him. Next year soumi transferredto another place, and I realized how much I fell for Pratim in those years, soon I couldn't control my feelings towards him. The way I behaved when I thought about him could easily tell that how much I loved him .Anyways I had a crush on him for four years, this is the fifth year, I don't know if I still love him.

When Soumi and I became close friends there was boy name soumyadip in our neighborhood who had a crush on me. I guessed that before he proposed me, I knew he really cared about me but unfortunately I was so in love with Pratim that I thought Pratim could misunderstand our relationship so I had to stop talking to Soumadip. When he proposed me I rejected him too. I knew it was good to keep him as a friend but I didn't feel good talking to him and our tastes were also different. Whatever he had crush on me for two years and this is the third year and he still has a crush on me, but I just try to ignore him.

Last six months I tried to put my crush on an unknown boy named Sayan who became my desk mate, to erase Pratim from my heart forever. Though that was a secret & forceful crush but consequently I fell for him. But as we both were from different worlds after we got separated we never ever tried to connect each other.

School Again ....boring!! After 2 days holiday who would like to go to school, may be those whose life is in school, but for me staying at home and reading comics or seeing k-drama is more interesting, although I can see my crush and true friends only in school, but still studying can't be eliminated from school.

I got up from my bed involuntarily and started to prepare my lessons as per the schedule. 'Ha...the tests were starting from today and I haven't revised anything, today's test depends totally on my luck'. I saw I had only 1 hr 15 mins left, and within that time I had to complete both revising and my civics homework, where there are 10 long answer type questions.

When it was nearly 7am I completed civics but the revision was still left, I decided to complete my revision in bus.

I got ready for school as quick as possible, when I reached the entrance of our building it was raining, I had umbrella in bag, it took some time to take it out out, but as soon as I got out in rain stopped and I saw I was late. Everyone in the bus stand has already arrived , I tried to speed up but after a heavy meal it was really difficult for me so I speeded upto my limit.

When we got on the bus I was finding my classmate Ayndrila who always kept seats for Shreya and me.I saw she was sitting beside the window, her hair seemed wet and it shined like black silk and her face gave the perfect innocence. Unfortunately someone was sitting beside her so we had to sit behind her. I informed her about our extra classes and tests we were going to have today, she was panic striken, I calmed her down.

When we reached school I saw sayan, my crush, hasn't arrived yet. I went to wonder in the corridor, then I saw Aditi and Sucheta coming together. Sucheta looked cheerful as usual, she had a top ponytail. Both these girls are my good friends. We went to the classroom together. I saw Sayan was present there, I was so glad to see him. He was sitting in the Last bench of last row, with a pair of big eyes with long eyelashes attracted like I saw big diamonds, his hair was shaped very neatly and it suited on him very much, he had that cool expression on his face, which showed how much he is enjoying talking to his friends, and that one & only signature smile just took my heart away from *me. I wish if I could be the one he cared about most, unfortunately it isn't going to happen.

When our test started I was late to start and the results was that I couldn't complete the test in time, though most of us weren't able to complete but I really felt bad because it may effect my academic performance. I saw that I was sitting in the last bench of the window side row and he was in the last bench of last row in between my vision there were only 2 girls, one of them was Pubaruna, Pratim my former crush's current girlfriend. I hated her to my guts so it was difficult for me to look at that side for the time being. When she was gone it was easier for me to look at Sayan, he looked very serious when he studied and obviously he was more pleasing to my eyes. I went to Sweta she is a good girl but I don't like her much but I try to be good friends with her. Her eyes looked watery, red, her face was pale, it was clear that she faced problems again, I tried to calm her down but she was really grieved in pain, I at least stopped her from crying.

In English period I looked at Sayan and saw many girls and boys were talking to him, may be only I am the only one in class who hadn't had a word with him after our seats were separated.I was really missing him, but what to do, now we were complete strangers again and all paths to are closed too, I don't know if any of those door will ever open again.* Now what I can actually do is day dream about him being with me. In lunch break boys weren't allowed to go to play in field so it was easier for me to observe Sayan more than previous days. When we were going inside the computer lab he made way for girls to go, and was standing beside the door, I passed him and felt my heart jumping and being cheerful all of a sudden, it felt like the atmosphere changed suddenly and only if time could stop at that moment, so that at least I could give him a hint of how much I had fallen for him in a few days.

After we had our extra classes some of us were going to home together. In front of us most of our classmates were going, Sayan was one of them with his company. I was talking to his friends when they came near my friends circle. I had connections with his friends but I wasn't of that type who could mix in his group. He was on the other side of road when I saw him running to our side, his bus came so...After I came home home I took a small nap then after studying, I did maths for my maths tuition.

While going to maths tuition I thought about Sayan and I the times and coincidences we had went through last few months. I thought if he was beside me then it would have been more easier for me to lead this life. In tuition I don't know why I was always failing to do all the sums, I didn't know what was happening but it was really getting my self esteem down, then at last I thought about Sayan, and I was able to not only complete maths but submitted the copy before others.

While coming back from Maths tuition I was teasing Soumalya, he said that I can do whatever to him. So I grasped his waists and kissed his cheeks softly, then he gave me permission to do more things, so I also played along with him. I was going to pull out his shirt but he got afraid so I stopped teasing him. From this one may think that I love Soumalya, I accept that I am close to him but as his sister or his childhood friend.

After thinking about what I did the whole day I could only remember fragments of what Sayan did....is my day all about him or am I the one who tries to make him the whole day?

It's Wednesday 27. Today most of the students in our class have taken unauthorised study leave, Sayan too. Though my day was not a boring one but still I missed him very much.

During lunch break, Our whole class saw Pratim kissing his girlfriend passionately. Her name is Pubaruna, she is talented girl in literature, she is shorter than me but is good looking. When I saw their kiss it felt like I was seeing a romantic drama...it didn't matter much to me, but still once I had dreamt of being in her place.

Our most test copies were given back today. In 2nd language I got 8 out of 10, biology also 8 out of 10 and 9.5 in English my 1st language.

In the evening I had maths tuition. My performance seemed too bad. I didn't know what to do cause I couldn't feel Sayan with me. One day of separation just made me feel like we are very distant from each other.

It's Thursday 29. We had tuition in 8:30am, it was compulsory, so I had to miss school today,it wa not a big deal but if Sayan came to school today then it was really my bad luck. Anyway I was happy because at least I would be able to meet Sayan's closest friend, Debanjan at tuition.

When arrived at the gate of our tuition building, I saw the saturated sunrise and thought of two things at that moment, one is the song 'colors ', sang by Halsey, my favorite artist and the other thing was how Sayan shined everytime I looked at him. Am I missing him too much??Ah!! I think I should control myself. Unfortunately Debanjan hadn't come to tuition but still the tuition was not bad. I enjoyed myself very much.

In the evening I went at the rooftop. The view was more dashing than expected.It was like a suicidal sky...I got goosebumps.That evening was something I couldn't forget. my father criticized me and I was way too depressed,but soon I was back to normal as usual. Following days our leave started.

On 1st September I saw the boy who is living on the 4th floor of the building in front of us. He was so handsome that I was just shocked. Though the day was cloudy he shone like a sun. I had seen him before topless and he really looked sexy at that moment.After that I started to notice him more often(I don't know his name, so let's name him mr.x). During the exams days I just tried to take a glance of Sayan by hook or crook but during study leaves I would wait for that mr.x to come to his veranda.Days passed by and some more things happened. Shreya's father got ill so she had to stay at our home for few days. Though I hated shreya but it seemed cruel for me to hate her at that moment. So I tried to be friendly with her, Ayidrilla noticed it and asked me but I couldn't answer her because I didn't know if I was friendly to her just because I felt pity for her or I felt guilty for being cruel to her at that moment.