Your Hatred Scares Us
1. POV JANE
It was a quiet night. I ran as fast as possible to leave a party in Ray's house, one of my high school friends. My mind was messed up since I saw my half-hungover boyfriend had sexual intercourse with Brit, my another high school friend, in Ray's bathroom.
Jane
I should have listened to Viola, my best friend, that Jack is a talented douchebag!
I was still running until I see Viola's house that not really far away from Ray's. With a kind of sobbing and shortness of breath, I knock the door. Someone appeared and she's Viola!
Viola
Why are you here? Why don't you go to Ray's party? Why do you—
I immediately hugged her.
Jane
I'm sorry, Viola. Please, give me an apologize.
Viola
What's happened? Why are you crying?
Jane
He had coitus with Brit.
Viola
Come in. We need to be inside and talking about this.
Viola
And anyway, wash your face. Your makeup is a little bit messy.
I nodded my head then walked unsteady through her bathroom and saw myself in the mirror. Oh, for real, my makeup was really disgusting. I cleaned my face and I ambled to meet Viola at her kitchen. She had made me a glass of hot chocolate.
Jane
Vio, where is your dad? And your Mom?
Viola
My dad is in Florida, my mom's in LA. You know, business trip.
Viola
Please, crash at my place for a night, Jane. You seem not okay.
Jane
Okay. But, I need to call my mom.
I smiled. Then, I called my mom and she didn't mind if I didn't go home just for this night.
Since I and Jack been in a relationship, my friendship with Viola were getting wide apart whereas we've been four years of being best friends. Viola hated Jack so much. There were some hearsay about how damned is he, although he looked like a nerd, yet in fact, he was as revolt as GERD.
Viola
Why do I have to hate ya?
Jane
'Cause I have a relationship with Jack and I didn't listen to your warning.
Viola
Nevermind. My life is too short to hate you. Have you eaten something?
Viola
Same. And by the way, you look prettier like this, with no heavy makeup, you know what I mean.
Jane
Thanks. You're also beautiful.
Jane
Nope, for real. You know what? Greg, Jack's friend, used to ask me about you.
Jane
Um, Vio, do you love…
Viola
Jack? Don't be a fool, I'd rather be in Uranus than falling for Jack.
Jane
So, with whom you fall in love?
Viola
Are you feeling okay after drinking that chocolate?
Jane
Yeah, this is so delicious. I even haven't felt hurt of Jack. Hey! Don't try to shift our convo's topic, Viola!
Viola
You love Jack again?
Jane
Nope, at all. I mean, I don't know why I don't feel sad anymore. So, the person that you love is…
Jane
Don't tell a lie to me.
Jane
You've never told me about someone you loved. You've even never had a date. I only wanna know why do you act like keeping it as a secret.
Viola
There's no secret, Jane.
I drink my chocolate while observing Viola who's putting some plates into dishwasher.
Jane
There's something that you hide from me and from this world.
Viola
Okay. Your guessing is right. But I'm not pretty sure you're gonna like it or nah.
Jane
Spill the beans, Vio. I'm gonna like it.
Viola
Um, so, I like someone.
Jane
Cool. Tell me more! What does he look like?
Viola
The person is older than me and she is a woman, Jane.
We both were in silent, looking at each other eyes. Why didn't I feel a gaydar whenever I'm with Viola for years?! My eyes opened widely then I cried.
Viola
Jane, what's going on?
Jane
Why didn't you come out to me that you're gay?
Viola
I was just afraid if you left me.
Jane
Nah, definitely not. Is the girl you like go to our school?
I was thinking: I'm a woman, I'm older than Viola even though we're in the same grade.
Viola
Sorry, Jane. You're pretty but she's not you.
Viola
Mrs. Luna, our English Literature teacher.
Jane
You both like one another?
Jane
But our school won't let students and teachers fall in love romantically, let alone a same-sex relationship.
Jane
And your parents won't be okay if you have a relationship with her because they're still a little bit conservative, right?
Jane
So, what are you going to do?
Viola
Shut people's mouth who have known about this. Including Jack.
Viola
Yeah. He just knew it. He threatens us that he's gonna tell people in our school about my relationship with Mrs. Luna and he has a proof: my flash drive. I saved a lot of my memories with Mrs. Luna there. But, he won't tell people if Mrs. Luna gives him A for his English Literature exam. Mrs. Luna and I decided to break up. That's another reason why I hate Jack so much.
Jane
Jack is a damned shit.
Viola
Indeed. Um, can I ask you a favor?
Viola
Please, take my flash drive from him. I know it's not a good time to talk about this but—
Jane
I'll do it. Though I'm still hurt by him, I'll do it for you. You've helped me a lot so yeah, I'll be back to Jack to take your flash drive.
Jane
No, a dimwit. Not now. We need to make plans. Anyway, I feel sleepy.
I yawn so big. Then we agreed to sleep at Viola's bedroom which is so tidy and the aroma of lavender is really relaxing my lungs. I'm sure I can't wake up tommorow because this place is freaking cozy.
2. POV JACK
An alarm voice molested my sleep. Who the hell did this, setting an alarm at 5 AM? I lamented. I was so sleepy until I realized that this big bedroom isn't in my house. I even wasn't in my house, at all. And a person who was sleeping tightly beside me wasn't Jane. I was shocked. Another thing that gave me more shock: I was *****. I immediately wore my clothes. Then the girl that I thought she was Jane woke up from sleeping.
We were looking at each other eyes. Brit took a look at herself under the blanket and she was as shocked as me: she was *****.
Brit
Oh, God, are you wearing condoms last night?
I turned my head to look at my jeans.
Brit
Forget what had happened last night. Oh, God, this is so shameful. I bet you had forced me to be intoxicated so you could sleep with me!
Jack
Shut your mouth up. Don't accuse me, Brittany!
Brit
You're a fucking douchebag and every single person in this world knows that!
Jack
You and all of the people even do not know anything about me! So, shut up!
Someone opened the bedroom door. She's Ray. The only one offspring that Mr. and Mrs. Anderson have. She's beautiful. Probably she had steep skincare treatments, because her parents were rich.
Ray
I don't have any responsibility for this shameful accident that befell you two.
Ray
Open our school's social media, you know, santareginacool.com
On that site, there were two photos of me and Brit that being taken when we both were sleeping. The sender is anonymous.
Jack
But at least the sender didn't upload our making love photos.
Brit
**** you! This is still embarrassing! You have a girlfriend, right? Don't you feel scared to break her heart because of those disgusting photos?
I checked my phone. No calls or messages from Jane. I quickly went out from Ray's house to my car. I didn't know where would I go, home or another place. If I went home, my Daddy would be so mad because I didn't help him in our bar last night, his small business. So where I would go?
Jack
Okay, I'm going to go home even though my home isn't a home anymore.
Finally, I was at my house. I knocked on the door multiple times until Daddy opened it.
Dan
**** you, Jack! Where had you been, huh? I suffered losses of some bucks because you didn't help me last night!
Daddy fisted my nose and the blood dripped.
I felt my body had been adapted with any punch from my daddy, or Dan. I didn't know. I loved to call him as Dan rather than daddy, because he wasn't like a nice dad before and after my mom passed away. Scars, bruises, and blood—which is supposed by Santa Regina's students as a result of my silly behavior that maybe I liked to have a fight with other students from other schools—were actually coming from Dan.
I quickly went to my bedroom, then had a shower, and cried. I have ever been in this situation. I mean, I was drunk then having sex with another person that I thought my girlfriend. And in the end, my relationships fell apart.
Jack
Jane, you'll also break our relationship up, right? I love you, Jane.
I lamented in front of my bathroom's mirror
I tried to play my guitar. But writing is interesting. Then, I moved to my computer and started to learn Javascript. Lately, I got a lot of ideas in my head. My speaking was too fast and I found it hard to concentrate. I decided to open Amazon.com and bought some unneeded stuff. This thing ever came to me previously.
Jack
Fast or slow, I will feel depressed or a kind of mental breakdown.
Jack
when life is getting heavy, when I lost myself, when I feel unuseful, and when I just want to die.
Jack
It's completely a contrary from these days: I feel so alive and high.
Jack
I know I'd be sad after this, because Jane would leave me.
Then I was heading to bed. If only I slept forever to accompany my mom, certainly I wouldn't hurt anybody. I know, recently I had a lot of energy and didn't feel sleepy, but I didn't know how, I felt exhausted and then I slept soundly.
3. POV JANE
I gave my phone to Viola. My body was aching after seeing two photos of Jack and Brit sleeping together in one of Ray's bedrooms.
Viola
He deserves it after stealing my flash drive and threatening Mrs. Luna.
Jane
Probably, it's my fault.
Jane
You know, I don't like to have sex. I mean, I have no sexual attraction towards other people. You know? Maybe if I could feel that sexual attraction, Jack wouldn't sleep with Brit.
Viola
Asexual. Having no sexual attraction towards other people, like you've said before.
Jane
Oh, no. Asexual? I'm not an amoeba, Viola!
Viola
I mean, they exist, asexual people. You need to ask Google about it. You'll be shocked.
I opened Google and I found a lot of references about asexual. There are asexual, demisexual, graysexual, and a lot of romantic and other attractions that blew my head. Then I clicked AVEN, one of the sites that spoke about asexuality. It's a cool name, I think. After reading some posts, I put my phone on the table and mused about my sexual orientation.
Jane
Yeah, um, definitely no. Probably I'm not an asexual. Maybe I just haven't found the right person yet to… um, or maybe I have hormone issues.
Viola
Jane, you need to calm down. It's okay. You only need some more time to know about yourself better.
Jane
Let's make the plans, Viola. It's 10 AM and we need to hurry up. Tomorrow is Monday.
Viola took a piece of paper and a pen. We were like two amateur detectives.
Viola
Plan A
Firstly, we have to—
Suddenly, someone knocked on the door and Viola left me to open it.
Jack
I just went to Jane's house but her mom told me that she's in your house. I want to meet her.
Viola
Why do you want to meet her, uh?
Jack
It's my business with Jane, so please. Oh, and, this is your flash drive, Viola. It's only me, you and Mrs. Luna who know about the files in your flash drive. I mean, I even do not save or share them with other people.
Jack
Oh, Jane. I'm so sorry.
Viola
Jane, he has given my flash drive back.
Jane
Oh okay, good. We're done, Jack. Nothing can fix our relationship.
Jane
Wait, your nose! Did you have a fight with someone?
Jack
I gotta go. See y'all.
Jane
Gotta meet your new girlfriend, Brit, huh?
Jack was looking at my face closely and I could see his watery eyes, as if he wanted to say something like "I'm not okay" or something else.
Viola
He's an awkward and messy person. And he looks so tired.
Jane
I know, but I think he tries to hide something.
Viola
Stop guessing, Jane. Anyway, I need to call Mrs. Luna.
Viola
To tell her that my flash drive is back.
Mrs. Luna
Hi, Viola. What's up?
Viola
I got my flash drive from Jack. He come to my house to—
Mrs. Luna
I know. He beg me to forgive him.
Mrs. Luna
Yeah. Anything else?
Mrs. Luna
Okay, I'm so busy now, bye.
Phone's call was being ended.
Viola
She's not loving me anymore.
Jane
I'm sorry to hear that.
Viola
I'm soo dull, really dull. I shouldn't have saved those files in my flash drive.
Viola
You know some kissing pictures, videos...
Viola
If our school administrators knew what inside my flash drive, Mrs. Luna will get fired, Jane. I am, a stupid person, have shattered her carrier!
Jane
Oh, Viola, it's not gonna happen.
Viola
I can't believe Jack. I'll kill him if my files are everywhere.
Jane
You're not serious, right?
Viola
Do you think I'm joking, huh?!
Viola
Why? You still love him, a boy who had a coitus with Brit?
Jane
You'll break the law.
Viola
I know, right. My dad is a lawyer and you try to teach me about that? Your dad isn't a lawyer. He's a killer.
She yelled at me. I was shocked.
I left Viola and then run to my house and I started to cry. One kilometer will be so long as I was crying and sobbing while running.
My dad, in fact, was killing Mr. Cortez, one of our neighbors, because of a very trashy thing: my dad hated pineapple. Mr. Cortez gave us two pineapples. So, my dad took my mom's knife from our kitchen and then he stabbed Mr. Cortez's chest deeply. Everyone was so scared, including my mom and me. They started to believe that I and my mom are criminals. But in the end, Viola's dad who become my dad's attorney, suggested us to live near his neighborhood. Viola knew about this stuff. She was giving me support to be strong and brave, and now she's also giving me support to be broken and scared.
Jane's Mom
Jane? Are you okay?
Jane
I'd be okay if my dad wasn't a killer!
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