After finishing the final exams, the first year of high school began a long summer vacation.

Zhang Man finished correcting the last test paper, packed her things, and left the office with her bag. She was locking the door, and the phone in her pocket suddenly vibrated. She took out her phone and glanced at the screen. It was her mother Zhang Huifang.

"Hey, Mom... well, it's a holiday today, I'll be back this weekend... I know."

I don't know when it started. Most of the conversations between the mother and daughter ended with urging marriage. Zhang Huifang said that if a woman like her in her thirties does not fall in love or get married, she will completely lose her hormones and will never be tempted.

Zhang Man felt that this was right, but it was wrong.

She did not feel at all for the men around her, but in recent years she has dreamed of someone more and more frequently. When I woke up from a dream, my heartbeat seemed to repeat the throbbing of my youth.

As soon as I walked downstairs to the teaching building, I met the director of teaching Zhou Wenqing: "Ms. Zhang, are you free to have a meal at night?"

Zhang Man instinctively wanted to refuse. Thinking of Zhang Huifang's increasingly anxious urging, he changed to: "I have time."

The man was a little surprised when he heard the words, and turned to a happy expression: "Then wait for me."

Zhang Man nodded, standing at the top of the stairs holding her bag, and sighed inwardly as she watched him walking upstairs in a hurry.

She didn't know what Zhou Wenqing meant. In all fairness, he is a calm and down-to-earth man with strong working ability and a sense of responsibility in life. Although he was a few years older than her, and he was divorced, it was a good choice for her.

There are very few people around her who are not married yet.

He quickly came down and changed into a very vigorous shirt, but the slightly drooping statutory lines on his face made him look a little tired.

The two went to a Sichuan restaurant next to the school.

Zhou Wenqing chose a corner position and wiped the table and chairs with a tissue before asking her to sit down.

Very gentleman.

"Ms. Zhang comes to order, madam first."

Zhang Man hooked up a dry pot of Chiba tofu and a spicy chicken as usual.

However, as soon as she ordered and handed him the menu, he crossed it out and chose two other new dishes.

Zhang Man was a little surprised, and looked up at him.

Zhou Wenqing smiled and said: "I guessed you would order these two dishes. I still remember when you first came to our school, you ordered these two dishes for the first teacher dinner, and they have not changed for so many years. Zhang Man, life is not static. Sometimes people may stay in their comfort zone and don’t have the courage to jump out. But changes are not always a bad thing, why not try? Whether it’s food or people."

Zhang Man lowered his head, feeling a little shake in his heart, knowing that he meant something, but he didn't know how to answer the conversation. Fortunately, Zhou Wenqing didn't trouble her and changed the subject.

Halfway through a meal, Zhou Wenqing is quite harmonious, and Zhou Wenqing is very good at driving the atmosphere. Even if she doesn't speak much, the atmosphere between the two is not awkward.

At this time, the mobile phone on the table rang, it was a WeChat prompt, and it rang several times continuously.

"Sorry, let me read the news."

She turned on the phone and found that it was her best friend Chen Feier.

[Where are you Manman? Look at the first hot search! ! ! ] [! ! ! ! ! 】

. ...

Chen Feier hit several rows of exclamation marks.

Zhang Man thought to himself, the high probability is that the little fresh meat she has eaten is gone. She absently opened Weibo and glanced at the hot search.

This glance made her whole person freeze instantly.

The number one in the hot search turned out to be... his name, with a boiling word in front of it, just like when he became the first Chinese theoretical physicist to win the Nobel Prize three months ago.

But the latter two words were printed in her sight clearly, and the violent and turbulent impact made her incomprehensible for a moment and completely lost the ability to understand.

[Li Wei suicide]

suicide? What do you mean.

She suddenly couldn't understand the simple and direct message, the literal meaning that could be understood without thinking.

The brain seems to have stopped turning, or it has activated its self-protection mechanism, giving every cell in the body a buffer time.

Zhang Man clicked into the hot search and looked back and forth for a few minutes. The numbness and sluggishness gradually disappeared. The brain has not been able to accurately receive this information, and the heart has started to disrupt the usual beating frequency unexpectedly.

"Hey!" The sound of the glass falling to the ground cracking sharply, she recovered and found that the glass in her hand fell to the ground.

Zhou Wenqing quickly greeted the waiter to clean up and looked at her with some worry.

"Ms. Zhang, what's wrong with you?"

Zhang Man opened his mouth and was speechless. She started to shake unconsciously, the temperature in her body gradually lost, as if she had been sucked out of a black hole, and she fell into an endless panic. Before all the emotions overwhelmed her, she squeezed her bag and stood up abruptly: "Zhou... Teacher Zhou, I am not feeling well, and I will leave first."

She walked out of the restaurant quickly, the car lights on the street exploded, making her dizzy for a moment.

The phone was still vibrating, she subconsciously turned it on and saw Chen Feier sent her several more messages.

[...Manman, are you okay? 】

[Manman, where are you now? 】

Zhang Man wanted to reply, tried a bit and found that his hands were shaking so that he couldn't type at all, and he simply gave up.

Walking unconsciously, the strength of her whole body was only enough to support her to walk to an empty street corner, which was the back door of a convenience store.

She slowly squatted down against the wall, panting deeply, trying to inhale some cool air to relieve the pain in her heart. The temples throbbed uncontrollably, and the entire respiratory tract was sore from violent sobbing.

But the most painful thing is that even though the body has lost control, the thinking is so clear and terribly clear.

With trembling hands, she opened Weibo, holding the last trace of luck.

It must be a mistake, it must be a rumor. He just won the prize, how could he commit suicide?

However, the cause and effect of the incident are clearly analyzed on Weibo, and no doubt is allowed.

Li Wei died and was found to have committed suicide at home, the day before the award ceremony.

He wrote in a letter to his PhD student Jackie before he died: "...You are a very talented student. I have recommended you to Professor William. I am sorry for the inconvenience that will be caused to you... I've been doing one thing crazy all the time, physics is everything to me. In fact, long ago, I had a foreboding that on the day it ended, darkness would completely engulf me."

Later, Jackie accepted an interview: "When I received this e-mail, I felt something was wrong and called the police immediately. Unfortunately, when the police arrived at the professor's house, everything was too late. The most dazzling genius of this century left us forever. "

The researchers who worked with him in Princeton also claimed: "Mankind has lost a great genius."

His psychiatrist revealed that Li Wei suffered from severe schizophrenia since he was a child, and has been suppressing it with drugs for these years. However, the end of his research work caused a violent outbreak of mental illness and he finally chose to commit suicide.

"Li's inner world is actually hundreds of times richer than others. He often imagines things that don't really exist in the world, and easily lose control of emotions due to external stimuli. This is what we usually call delusions. At the same time, Li is a keen and intelligent person. These mental illnesses made him feel a strong sense of powerlessness beyond his control, and finally chose to give up his life."

Zhang Man saw this place with tears in his eyes, shaking his hands and flipping through the disclosures of other insiders, and some things that had happened after many years suddenly became clear.

Schizophrenia, delusion, so it is.

It turned out that those things back then were really not what he did on purpose, he didn't lie to her.

He is just sick.

A series of pictures were connected in her mind.

At that time, she felt weird about his deception and asked him aggrievedly. After receiving a negative reply, she uttered a bad word.

She really didn't know, she didn't know that he was actually sick.

I still remember that in the last period of their relationship, he seemed to be extremely depressed, hollow and gloomy like a lonely soul.

Zhang Man opened his mouth, and the suppressed choking in his throat finally couldn't be restrained, and it became a heart-piercing cry.

Some things she couldn't let go of for so many years, but now they all have explanations, but so what, he is gone.

——

While packing things in his hometown two years ago, Zhang Man found a love letter sandwiched in a physics book, signed by Li Wei.

He wrote in it: "Human cognition of the universe is like the glow of fireflies in the boundless darkness. There are so many unknowns that we can't see or touch. I want to come closer to that piece of land. Unknown, feel the darkness. Zhang Man, would you like to accompany me?"

Only then did she know that he really liked her back then, just like she liked him.

The paranoid and lonely genius boy actually had a gentle side. He stretched out his hand to her so carefully, wanting to pass all his tenderness and sincerity to her.

It was her failure to keep the gentleness in his eyes, which made him now choose to run to the darkness forever.

If, if you can go back to the year...

"Zhang Man, got up, the first day of today, the journal arrives, don't be late."

Zhang Man heard his mother Zhang Huifang's voice and opened his eyes in a daze.

The brain still needs half a minute of buffer time to remind itself that she has been reborn, returning to 19 years ago.

She sat up from the bed and rolled up the curtains somewhat unskilled. The warm sun outside in midsummer was already shining in the early morning, hitting the body warmly, and every cell in the body came alive.

This is the fourth day of her rebirth and the first day of enrollment in high school. On this day, she will meet Li Wei when she was still a teenager and become classmates with him.

Zhang Man rubbed his eyes and stared at the familiar and unfamiliar scenery outside the window in a daze.

She really came back, back to N City, back to where he was.

Since Li Wei's death in her previous life, she seemed to be a different person. I don't know the taste of food, and I can't sleep at night, and the whole body loses weight like a rapid dehydration.

The insomnia and nightmare that lasted for two full months were so severe that I couldn't go to class the next day.

In this way, she quit her job, took a small suitcase, and traveled all over the country alone, trying to change her mood. But she didn't expect to encounter a mudslide on the way home. After she woke up, she found that she was sixteen years old and returned to the small city of Nineteen years ago that was full of camphor.

——

Zhang Man picked a white dress in the closet and put it on, looking in the mirror to straighten his hairstyle. Flat bangs, black long straight hair, is a very common hairstyle for middle school students in this era. The girl in the mirror was slightly pale, her face was only palm-sized, and her eyes were a little abrupt.

Her appearance is perfectly inherited from her mother Zhang Huifang, with a pale face and a small face, as well as two dimples. This appearance is actually very sweet, but because Zhang Man doesn't like to laugh, he always looks a little gloomy.

Opening the door, Zhang Huifang was sitting on the sofa playing with her mobile phone. Seeing her out, she raised her eyes in surprise.

"Oh, the Thousand-Year Iron Tree has blossomed. Zhang Man, when I bought it, didn't you say you wouldn't wear it to death?"

Zhang Huifang wore a beige knitted wrap dress with exquisite pearl earrings, which looked enchanting. She is thirty-five years old this year, exactly the same age as Zhang Man's previous life. At this time, she hadn't experienced the heartbreaking life afterwards, but she was still the one who loved to dress up and was bright and moving.

When Zhang Huifang was young, she was a resident singer in a famous bar in N City. She is chic, headstrong, and pursues the ultimate romance. She has lived for love in her whole life, and has never thought of living a life.

Frankly speaking, Zhang Man doesn't know who his father is, because Zhang Huifang never mentions it. But as far as she can remember, Zhang Huifang has changed boyfriends one by one, and has not been married at this age.

Zhang Man ignored her and went to the bathroom to wash.

To say which pair of females in this world is the least similar, she and Zhang Huifang must have a place.

When Zhang Huifang was young, Xiaocheng was famous for the eighteen models. She was beautiful and bright, and she smiled when she met everyone. She heard that the people who used to chase her lined up a street.

She falls in love easily and gets bored easily. As soon as the feeling of being in love disappears, she will break up cleanly and not at all.

However, Zhang Man is a restrained and taciturn person since he was a child. She coldly watched Zhang Huifang bring back one boyfriend after another, and she didn't believe in love in her heart.

What love is just a cover for lonely men and women.

She always felt that way.

But it wasn't until the death of Li Wei in the previous life that she understood that in essence she and Zhang Huifang were the same kind of people, and they couldn't make it together. It's just that she kept that extreme and obsession in silence, even she didn't even notice it.

. ...

N City No. 1 Middle School was only ten minutes away from their home. Zhang Man took breakfast, hurriedly went downstairs, and walked towards the school based on her memory.

Many freshmen and parents have been surrounded by the first grade school building. They all looked for their own or their children's names according to the class schedule on the bulletin board.

Zhang Man didn't need to look at the sorting table, and went straight to the third floor, the first one in the first class. She had a good grade in the high school entrance examination, and she entered the science experimental class at the end of the crane, and Li Wei was the top student in the N city entrance examination this year.

Before entering, she met several high school classmates familiar with her in her previous life. She habitually wanted to say hello to them, but then withdrew her hand.

Like him, they still don't know themselves.

She stood at the door, took a deep breath, walked in, and looked straight to the corner of the classroom by the window at the back of the classroom.

The beige curtains were drifting with the morning breeze. The sixteen-year-old was dressed in a simple and clean white T, with crisp short hair, sitting on his seat and reading a book.

Among a group of freshmen who are jumping off excitement, he looks so different.

He lowered his head, so quiet, his whole body exuded a depressive aura that no one would get close to, so that within one meter of his center, it seemed to be another world.

His side face was coated with a warm yellow light by the soft sunrise, full forehead, straight bridge of nose, slightly pursed lips, tough apple.

The lines from top to bottom seem to be perfectly crafted.

Zhang Man stood at the door and watched for a full minute. She raised her hand to trace his backlit silhouette, grinning, and her throat suddenly choked slightly.

She actually saw him once again, not the cold corpse covered in white cloth on the big Weibo picture.

I still remember this day in the previous life, she came early, just sitting next to her. The young man walked into the classroom, seeming to have taken a good look at the position by the window, so he walked over and asked if she could sit next to her.

Thinking of this, Zhang Man took a deep breath and walked towards him firmly.

It was the opening remark when I first met, but this time she took the initiative: "Hello classmate, may I sit next to you?"

Her voice was a little trembling, and the smile on the corner of her mouth was a bit ugly.

The teenager raised his head to look at her.

He has a pair of extremely beautiful eyes, which seem to hide the sea and the stars, even though they are so dazzling in such bright sunlight.

His gaze stayed on her face for a while, nodded lightly, moved the open book in his direction, and freed the entire table for her.

His fingers are clean and slender, and the book bag in his hand is covered with a dark green paper book cover, with neat edges and corners.

Seeing him nodded in agreement, Zhang Man breathed a sigh of relief, tried all his strength, and resisted the urge to step forward and hug him immediately. She put down her schoolbag and hung it on the back of the chair, and sat down beside him.

"Classmate, my name is Zhang Man, what's your name?"

Maybe he was too fascinated by reading and ignored her.

So Zhang Man took the book in his hand on his own initiative and turned to the first page. It is a textbook of "Quantum Mechanics". Under the title of the book, he wrote his name in dark blue ink.

Zhang Man stretched out his index finger, clicked on his neat handwriting, and said with a slight pause: "Li, Wei."

He repeated it again: "Li Wei, your name sounds good."

Li Wei, Li Wei. This name has been recited thousands of times in my dreams, and has been hidden in my heart for more than ten years, so I can finally say it with integrity.

The boy frowned because of her abrupt behavior, but after a while, he returned to his former expressionless face, nodded slightly at her, and continued to read the book.

His face was full of not wanting to talk to her again.

Zhang Man let out a sigh of relief, which was what she expected.

He has always been a lonely and difficult person, a world of his own, and he is incompatible with all his peers around him.

Although she and Li Wei were at the same table in the previous life, they both had dull personalities and were accustomed to being quiet. Therefore, in the first semester they were alienated like two strangers, so much so that since when did he fall in love with him? I really don't know.

But it doesn't matter, you can take it slowly, she has time and energy.

. ...

N City No. 1 High School is very independent. There is no military training for the freshmen of high school. The military training is before the start of the second year of high school. So after the report ended, the school officially started.

After nine o'clock, Liu Zhijun, the head teacher, came in and ordered a few boys to move downstairs to the textbook section. He ordered Li Wei.

"The tall boy in white clothes by the window over there, go downstairs to bring English books and listening materials."

The teenager put down the book in his hand, nodded and stood up, and glanced at Zhang Man.

Zhang Man immediately understood and moved his chair forward to facilitate him to get out.

About ten minutes later, the students who took the textbooks came back one after another, but Li Wei never came back.

Zhang Man stared at the back door of the classroom for several minutes without seeing anyone. At this moment, she suddenly remembered something in her mind. It seemed that it was this time to move books. He was ashamed when he came back, and then he took more than a week of leave.

I forgot about it before. What happened to him downstairs at this time in his previous life? Something bad must have happened that caused him to take a week off. At that time, she was still unfamiliar with him and did not pay much attention to his whereabouts.

Zhang Man felt a little flustered when he thought of this, and suddenly stood up.

She felt a little dizzy the moment she was standing. She pressed her eyebrows, suppressed the anxiety in her heart, and walked hurriedly outside the classroom.

Perhaps the shadow left by Li Wei in her previous life was so heavy that she would involuntarily think about it as long as he had a small situation.

Zhang Man ran downstairs and saw the man in his heart as soon as he reached the top of the stairs.

However, the scene before her made her heart "cock" in an instant.

Things that disturbed her had already happened.

In the corridor on the first floor, the boy was hit hard by two running boys and fell to the ground. He subconsciously pushed to the ground, the weight of his entire body was all on his arms, and he made a "bang" when it hit the ground.

The textbooks he was holding were scattered all over the floor, the white T-shirt was stained with dust, and there were holes where it rubbed against the ground.

As if he hadn't slowed down yet, the young man maintained the wrestling posture, lowered his head and eyes, not knowing what he was thinking.

The two boys who hit him stood aside, but didn't mean to help him at all.

Of course, these two people, Zhang Man, knew each other, and they were also classmates. One of them was Wang Xiaofeng, a thinner man, and Liu Chang, a tall, sturdy, dark-skinned boy who was the later sports committee member of the class.

And I heard that these two people and Li Wei are in the same junior high school.

Wang Xiaofeng looked at the scene in front of him, his lips trembled, and his eyes panicked and said: "Li...Li Wei, we...not on purpose, you..."

Before he finished speaking, he was stopped by Liu Chang on the side: "What are you afraid of? Don't you just bump into it, what's the big deal."

The young man on the ground pursed his lips and said nothing. He supported the ground and wanted to stand up, as if he felt a little pain and frowned slightly.

But it was only an extremely short pause.

He stood up sharply, bent over to pick up the books scattered on the ground.

From beginning to end, he didn't look at the two of them.

Zhang Man stood at the top of the stairs, looking at his back, only feeling a little sour in his heart.

Very often, Li Wei gave her the feeling that she was an outsider, floating outside the world, looking at the noisy red dust in the field.

Anger, quarrels, and even fights are all instinctive reactions of boys at this age when they are ridiculed and provoked. As long as people live in social groups, there will be frictions, which will lead to difficulties.

But he didn't. Everything in this world except physics seems to have nothing to do with him. So when his love ends, nothing else in this world can keep him.

This feeling made her very weak. She wanted to tie him to her side, but she was worried that one day he would completely abandon the world when she couldn't see it.

Before the panic in his heart widened, Zhang Man walked to him.

Seeing that Li Wei ignored him, Liu Chang felt even more upset and wanted to continue to provoke. Unexpectedly, he just stepped forward when he was severely stepped on the tip of his toe.

He exhaled painfully, just about to curse, and lowered his head, he realized that the girl who stepped on him was about 1.6 meters tall, looking at the gentleman.

Looking at her posture, it seems to be unintentional, and she looks... pretty good-looking.

So Liu Chang swallowed back the rough mouth that was about to explode.

Zhang Man said sorry to him in a panic, and twisted his foot harder. Before Liu Chang could react, he held Li Wei's arm in surprise and raised it to his eyes.

"Classmate, your arm is broken and it is bleeding. Go, I will accompany you to the infirmary to bandage it." She said, snatching some English books in Li Wei's hand and stuffing them aside Liu Chang's Hands.

"Two classmates, can you please move your books and move to the first grade of high school, thank you!"

When she said this, she spoke slowly, her voice was soft, and the expression on her face deliberately imitated Zhang Huifang, revealing that bright and brilliant smile with two deep dimples.

Sure enough, Liu Chang and Wang Xiaofeng on the side were both taken aback, nodded blankly, squatted down mechanically to pick up the English book on the ground, and walked up the stairs without saying anything. They seemed to have forgotten all the unpleasantness and provocation just now.

Zhang Man breathed a sigh of relief and rubbed his slightly stiff face, only to realize that he had been holding the boy's arm just now.

The body temperature of his body was transmitted to the heart through the sensor cells in her palm. The warm and true feeling suddenly gave her a great sense of security, like taking a pill of reassurance.

Zhang Man bent the corner of his mouth unconsciously and let go of his hand slightly reluctantly.

The boy has been watching her since just now, but there is no special meaning in his eyes.

He nodded and thanked her, turned around and walked upstairs, obviously not taking the wound on his arm seriously.

Zhang Man was a little anxious, and took his uninjured wrist, this time with a little force, pulling him in the opposite direction.

"The infirmary is over there, you went wrong."

Li Wei felt a resistance, his eyes were slightly startled, and he turned to look at her hand holding his wrist.

A sixteen or seventeen-year-old girl, she was small, so slender and weak, but she seemed to have a lot of strength, so that he couldn't get rid of it all at once.

If you try to break free again, it may hurt her.

The corners of the young man's lips were slightly pressed, no longer struggling, and followed her to the infirmary.

The infirmary is next to the canteen, some distance from the teaching building. She took him all the way, both of them were silent and did not speak.

The temperature on the boy's arm made her palms hot, Zhang Man gritted his teeth, ignoring the strangeness in his heart, and never let go.

The atmosphere seemed a bit embarrassing, but she was not a master of provoking topics, and she simply shut up and said nothing.

Turning around and taking a peek at him, the expression on the young man's face was very peaceful, without any embarrassment.

Zhang Man relaxed. Yes, with him, you never have to deliberately find topics, because they all like to be quiet.

The pace of the two gradually slowed down, passing through the teaching building area to the Shuangcheng River. Shuangchengxi is a very long river in the city of N, which runs across the entire campus.

The river is full of tall weeping willows. At this time, it is the most luxuriant. The green weeping willows are hanging down to the river surface, and some branches are still swaying gently with the breeze.

The delicate and handsome boy was half a step behind the girl and walked forward holding his wrists. His steps are small, and he seems to have deliberately adjusted to match the girl's.

It's like a little couple walking.

The infirmary was on the other side of the bridge, and the two quickly walked over.

"Teacher, this classmate's arm is injured, it seems to be very serious."

The male doctor in a white coat is about fifty or sixty years old, looking kindly. He supported the drooping reading glasses on the bridge of his nose and raised Li Wei's arm to look at it.

"The swelling is so severe. Take a film and see that it is likely to be a bone fracture. The wound is fine. Although it bleeds a lot, it should not be deep."

As he said, he glanced at Li Wei appreciatively again: "You can do it, the young man is swollen like this and he doesn't change his face, he has backbone."

After listening to the doctor's words, Zhang Man twitched fiercely and took a deep breath.

She leaned over to look closely and found that the area around his wound had been swollen very high, the color was bluish-purple, and it looked terrifying.

He was hurt so badly...

The school doctor took him inside to film, and Zhang Man sat on the bench at the door and waited.

Her thoughts were a little confused, she tried to recall some details of her past life, but found that she could not remember at all. I just remember that he took time off and went home after moving back to the English book, and only returned to school more than a week later. At that time, some students in the class said that he could enjoy the treatment of top students as soon as he enrolled.

So, at that time, he carried the pain of bone fracture, moved such a heavy textbook to the third floor, and then went home alone?

Zhang Man knew that there was no one in his family, and he could only take care of himself when he returned.

Besides, with his temperament, he would never go to the hospital. How did he spend the past week or so? Just let the bones grow up?

She took a breath, and clenched her palms.

This is only the first day, what else did she not know before?