Song recommendation: SVT - hug

Minji POV

"You've been here for how long? What? Almost 2 years and this all you can do?" The trainer said while she's sitting down on the floor while looking at us probably because my group and I have our heads looking at the ground.

We will have our monthly evaluation next Friday and we're giving everything we have to perfect this group choreography and we've been practicing till 3 am but hearing these words from our trainer made me think that it's still not enough.

"And You, Minji." She called. "Aren't the CEO already warned you if you don't improve after 2 months, you'll be in danger?" The trainer asked.

"Yes." I silently answered while trying to hold back my tears.

"See and this is what you're going to show them? If today is the monthly evaluation, you're already done here. Do you understand that, Minji?" She said and I just nodded.

Then, a long silence devoured us.

"You're dismissed. I'll check your group choreography on Wednesday. Be ready." The trainer said as she stood up and walked towards the door. We said thank you and sorry to her while bowing.

As soon as she left, we collapsed on the floor. Two of us went to the corner and cried. Some of my members comforted them. Suddenly, I felt a hand in my right shoulder.

"Don't worry. You're going to do good next week." Heekyung comforted me while smiling but I can sense the pain she has behind that pretty smile.

I tapped her back and reciprocate her smile.

"Guys, gather up." Our leader Jimin announced.

We gather in the corner of the room where two of my members are crying. We sat and for a couple of seconds, only the sobbing of my members can be heard echoing throughout the studio.

"I know we had a rough evaluation today from our dance trainer but we must take those words as encouragement to do better next time so it won't happen again, okay? " Jimin said and we all just nodded.

"Okay, get ready for our vocal lessons. We'll practice again after our other classes." She said and stood up first.

I sang the last note with sadness from my heart. I took a deep breath after and wiped the tears that accidentally left my eyes when I'm trying to hold them back. Thank God, our trainer was not looking.

\*Imagine Chaewon's voice from IZ\*ONE\*

"Yah, Minji. You sound good there." He said while smiling which made me felt relieved.

"Thank you, Saem(Short term for teacher in Korean)," I replied with a smile.

"You hit those notes sounds so easy with emotions. I can feel the sadness there, did something happen? " He asked as he leans forward, clasped his hands, and place them on his table.

" Uhm, we did not do good on our group choreography earlier. " I said as I looked down.

Our vocal trainer is the nicest around in Source Music Entertainment. He often asked us about our status and he validates our feelings.

"I see but you know what, from what I've seen. You're going to nail the vocal evaluation." He motivated.

"I'm hoping, Saem. This is my only chance to stay." I said with so much worry in my tone.

"No, don't say that. You'll have more chances, just believe in yourself. Okay? I know this would not give you the comfort you need but I trust you. " He said as he smiles genuinely.

"Thank you, Saem." I said and smiled back at him.

I got out of the room and sat on the chair. I took out my water from my bag and drink it. Jimin appeared and sat beside me.

"You finish your lesson?" She asked.

"Yes. You Eonnie?(Korean term when a younger girl calling an older girl)" I asked her.

"Yes, the trainer said I'm still good but I'm being too consistent. I have to show a new side of my vocals to get compliments." She answered while looking straight in front of her. I tapped her back as a sign of comfort.

"Anyway, you?" She asked back and I put away my hand from her back.

"He said I did well. He believes that I'll do great next week." I answered. By thinking about it made me smile.

"We'll at least one of us received good news." She said and we smiled at each other.

"Can I go home tonight?" I asked her for permission because we're currently living in the dorm. She nodded.

Later on, the other members finished their vocal lessons. We get ready for our acting lesson after a short break.

"I'm home" I announced while removing my shoes before entering our home.

I walked inside the living room and no one's there. Our maid, Gilja came out of nowhere.

"Aigoo, you're early." She said while approaching me.

"It's 11 pm, you call this early Ahjumma(an older lady)?" I jokingly asked her as she grabs my bag.

"Comparing it from the last time you went home, it's 4 am." She replied and we both laugh.

"Go to the kitchen, I'll prepare your dinner after I put your bag in your room." She added as she started walking upstairs.

I walked inside our kitchen and looked around. I sense someone coming, I thought its Gilja but it's Mom. I think she's already prepared to sleep because of what she's wearing.

"Eomma. " I said.

"Oh, you're here. I'm sorry that I can't join you at your dinner. I have a meeting tomorrow and I need to sleep early. " She said after she hugged me.

"It's okay. I can eat alone." I said and smiled even though I felt disappointed.

"Thank you, my daughter. Anyway, how's your day?" She said as she gets a cup and filled it with water.

"Not good mostly." I answered. She didn't reply because she's drinking her water. She put the cup down and went in front of me.

"That's so sad. Hang in there, okay?" She said while her hands are on my shoulders then she walked past me.

"But aren't you going to ask what happened?" I asked her.

"I'm sorry I can't for now, my daughter. I need to sleep. Tell me next time, okay?" Then she went on her way without hearing my respond.

I sat on the chair and laid my head on the table. Later on, Gilja appeared.

"Are you tired?" She asked as she gets me food.

"Yeah" I answered very tiredly.

"Father is not here yet?" I asked her.

"No, you know he's in Japan and we don't know how long he will be there. Why? Something happen?" She asked as she went back and forth from the table to the fridge.

"I just had a bad day," I answered.

As soon as she finished getting me food. She sat next beside me.

"You can tell me." She said while smiling.

I grew up with a wealthy family. I'm an only child so I grew up alone. My mom is a businesswoman handling perfumes and my father works in the government. So, he's often not in the house.

I grew up only with Gilja. She's like my childhood friend and my other mom. Even though my parents don't give me much time to bond with them, I know they love me. I don't know if I believe in that but they're supportive of my dream to be an idol and that's enough for me to say they love me.

I'm 13 years old when I started going to auditions and Source Music is the first entertainment that I passed. I got in when when I'm 15 years old. Right now, I'm 17 in korean age.

You asked why did I choose to take a rough road to be an idol rather than choosing another business career? Well, ever since I was a child. I already love singing and seeing these idols in the tv Performing made me realize that I want to be like that. I want to prove to myself that even though my family is giving me many privileges, I can achieve something with my hard work and determination.

Song recommendation: Krr - night within you

Jihoon POV

"And 5,6,7 and 8!" Our leader Hyunsuk shouted as we ended our 5th round of from the top choreography. As soon as the song repeats, we all collapsed on the ground.

No one's speaking. Nothing but heavy breathing and squeaking noise from the shoes and wet skins rubbing the floor.

"Yah, Midam. Your movements aren't sharp enough. You're losing your energy as we get close to the end. " Hyunsuk said while panting.

"Okay, take five. Then we'll fix it again." Seunghun said as he stood up. We shouted in unison as a response.

I'm Park Jihoon, 18 years old. I came from Busan and currently a 2nd-year trainee in YG entertainment.

"Okay, guys. Let's get it." Hyunsuk announced in English as we all starts moving to our positions.

"So, what's your plan for the vocal evaluation next Friday Jihoon? " Our vocal trainer asked.

"I want to perform just the way you are by Bruno Mars. " I answered. He typed something on his laptop and he's looking at something very seriously.

"You think you can pull this off?" He asked as he leans toward his chair with his arms crossed.

"I'll do my best!" I said firmly even though I'm doubting myself.

"Okay, if you said so. Let's give it a try. " He commanded. I stood up and sang my song.

\*Insert the song\*

"Okay. You can seat now." He said.

He didn't speak for I think a good one minute? He's just there staring at his notes. It's upside down and a little bit far away from me so I can't read it.

"This song.. suits your chest voice because it requires a heavy vocal and that's what you have but your falsetto in the end did not work. It's unstable and flat. If you didn't work on that before the monthly evaluation, you're doomed Jihoon. " He said with a serious tone. I just said yes as a response.

"Maybe you could change your song or practice your falsetto. Your choice okay?  Whatever your choice is, we'll do our best to make the best out of it, okay?" He assured.

"Yes, Saem. Thank you so much, Saem." I said as I bowed down.

My vocal lesson ended and I went straight to the self-practice room. I started right away to practice. I have to make this right or else, I would definitely not get a compliment next week.

Hours have passed, I suddenly heard a knock. I look at the mirror on the door, it's Kazama Noa. He opens the door, only revealing his face.

"Jihoon, we've been looking for you." He said.

"Why? I'm practicing right now." I said.

"Let's go eat. It's already 10 pm. Your class ended 3 hours ago." He said. I didn't realize the time.

"Okay, I'm coming." I said. He smiled and left.

I fixed my stuff and clean the room. I left the self-practice room and walk towards the lobby where I saw the others waiting for me.

"Yah, Park Jihoon! We've been looking for you. We even called you many times." Hyunsuk said as he put his arm on my shoulder, putting his weight on it.

"Sorry, I'm just really immersed in getting better. I'm just really nervous." I explained.

"Hyung(when a younger boy calls an older boy), don't worry. You're going to be okay. You're Park Jihoon! Remember that. " Yedam said and I just smiled at him.

On our way out, we also said goodbye to the staff. We're talking about where should we eat. They keep suggesting and debating which food we should eat.

"Yah, guys. Since Jihoon is kind of down today, let's make him decide. " Seunghun hyung announced. I got embarrassed because they're treating me special right now.

We ende up eating tteokbokki and ramyeon.  Surely, the food made me relax and relieve my stress.

"Hyung, you okay now?" Doyoung asked.

"Yeah, the food made me." I replied while smiling at him.

"That's good to hear then." He said.

"Don't worry too much okay? You're our happy virus, right? Just do what you need to do and you'll do great in the end." He added as he put his arm around me as comfort.

We went to our dorm and we're all pretty tired. We started our night routine. After that, some of them played some video games and some are having their alone time already, that includes me.

I was scrolling to my SNS when suddenly my Mom is called me.

^^^"Oh, Eomma" I pick up the phone.^^^

"Son, have you eaten already?" She asked and hum in response.

"How's the training?"

^^^"Hard but I know I can do it. I just need to practice harder."^^^

"You know you can always come back right?" There she goes again.

^^^"Eomma. Stop with that please. I'm not quitting." I said in an irritated tone.^^^

"You can still finish your art high school and then go to college to pursue what you planned before, to be a pilot." He explained.

^^^"Eomma, that dream is already gone. This is my dream now. To be an idol, to perform."^^^

"You can be more than that, son. Don't you know how much the idols suffer a lot lately? Don't you hear the rumors and news? People bringing the idols down and making them commit suici-"

^^^"Eomma, when will you understand that this is what I want. Why can you just support me? Please?" I interrupted her.^^^

"I just don't want to get yourself into danger and more suffering. Our life is already hard ever since your father died." As soon as she mentioned my dad, I started to feel that I'm going to cry.

^^^"Eomma, please.. just trust me. Okay? Please?" I plead while I sniff, trying to stop my tears.^^^

"It's not that I don't trust you. I just want the best life for you." She defended.

^^^"Eomma, I'm tired. I had a hard day. Can we talk next time? I call you next time." Before she responds, I already ended the call. She made me just feel worse than I already am.^^^

I put my phone down and turn off my lamp. I hugged myself and covered myself with a blanket. I cried on my pillow while suppressing myself to make any noise. My bed is double-deck, Yedam is on the second deck. He might come in and hear me crying.

I already made them worry about me today. I felt embarrassed because they treat me special to comfort me because they know I'm not in the right mood. I don't want to be a burden to them anymore.

I cried harder out of frustration and stress. I felt alone and all I can do is to let myself cry and to comfort myself that everything is gonna be alright. It's hard but I know I can make it. Just hang in there, Jihoon. Your mom will understand once you debuted.

My tears started to dry as I fell asleep with sad thoughts in my head and a heavy burden in my heart.

Song recommendation: Heize - Can you see my heart

Minji POV

I open my eyes and stared at the ceiling for a couple of seconds until I decided to get up. As soon as I start to move, my body feels painful. I'm having a body ache from yesterday's practice.

I sat on my bed and massage my shoulder and neck, hoping I can relieve some of the pain but it doesn't. I went to my bathroom and took a seat on the bowl. After that, I looked at myself in the mirror and my eyes aren't that open yet. My hair is everywhere and my face looks so puffy.

I groaned because of how ugly I am right now then I grabbed my toothbrush to start fixing myself. I got out of the bathroom while rubbing my hair with a towel. I blow dry my hair and did my morning routine. I didn't wear any make up since it's Sunday, I don't have any practice or meet up with anyone today. It's a lazy day.

I got myself a simple pastel orange oversize shirt and black jogging pants. I lied on my bed again and released a heavy sigh. I reached my phone on my table which is still charging. I checked my kakao and my sns, nothing's special or urgent.

I decided to go down to have some breakfast since it's still 9:30 am. I looked around the living room and as usual, no one's around.

"Oh, you're awake. Good morning." Gilja greeted me as she walks in my direction with a rug in her hand.

"Goodmorning. Eomma left already?" I asked her.

"Yes. She didn't even eat much earlier because she said she's on diet. " She answered. Only 'oh' is what I can say.

"Do you want some breakfast, I'll prepare it for you." Gilja offered while she's cleaning the table in the living room.

"No, you're busy enough. I can get something for myself. Don't worry about me." I assured with a smile.

"You sure? Okay then. If you need something, just ask me." She said and I just nodded then I went to the kitchen.

I stared at the kitchen area, looking for an idea of what should I eat. After a couple of minutes, I decided to eat a toast today. I looked inside our fridges for the ingredients and I realized we don't have any cheese.

"In this big house with a big fridge, we don't have any cheese?" I murmured while looking around the fridge.

I went to the living room to ask Gilja if we have cheese that she might stored somewhere.

"Ahjumma, do we have any cheese? I looked at the fridge. We don't have it anymore." I asked her.

"Oh really? I'll buy some tomorrow when I do the grocery. Why? Do you need it? " She answered as she turns her head to look at me and I nodded.

"Well, just exclude the cheese then." She said as she resumes wiping the vase.

"But I want cheese on my toast. I'll just buy some at the convenience store." I said and went to my room to get my wallet and phone but I can't find my wallet anywhere.

I looked at my bag carefully and the clothes I wore yesterday but it's not there. I carefully think and remembered that I unconsciously put my wallet in my locker. Maybe, I left it there.

I looked for my spare bus card, get myself a black mask, and wore my white socks then I went down.

"Ahjumma, I forgot my wallet at the company. I'll go get it okay?" I said while jogging towards the door.

"Okay, be careful." She half shouted. I wore my white sneakers and got out of the house.

I arrived at the company and there are fewer people here than usual. It's my first time going here when it's Sunday which is mostly everyone's day off.

On my way to my locker, I greeted the staff that I saw.

"Annyeonghaseyo." I greeted one of the staff.

"Oh, Minji. Why are you here? It's Sunday." She asked.

"I forgot my wallet in my locker." I answered politely.

"Ahh okay. I thought you're going to practice as well today." She said.

"Wait, someone's practicing today?" I asked her because for my 2 years of training here, I thought there's no trainee is practicing even in our day off.

"Yeah, I think she's one of your teammates." She answered.

"Oh really? Okay. Thank you. I'll get going now." I said and bowed down. I wonder who that is.

I went to my locker first and I'm right. It's here. I grabbed it and checked if something is missing, thank God everything's here. I put my spare bus card in it and went to our practice room.

I slowly walked towards our studio and took a peek at the mirror on the door to see who it is. It's Jimin. I wonder why she's practicing alone.

I slowly open the door and she saw me through the mirror. I got in and she turned around while panting. She went to the computer and turned off the sound.

"Minji! Why are you here?" She asked then she wipe her sweat.

"I forgot my wallet in my locker. I just came to get it. You? Why are you practicing today?" I asked.

"Oh, uhh. You know. To get better." She stuttered then she drank her water. She went to the wall and sat.

"Are you nervous too?" I asked as I took a seat beside her.

"Of course. That's a stupid question, Minji." She answered and laugh a little.

"Even though I'm your leader, I ain't no different than you guys. I'm a trainee too wanting to debut. I felt scared. Just like right now." She added while looking at the other wall parallel to us.

"I never thought of you like that. You're always there for us when we're down and you're always acting strong and positive." I said while looking at my feet.

"To be honest, I lied to you yesterday. My vocal lesson didn't went well. Actually, for a whole month already. I'm just saying that it's okay so you guys won't be worried about me." She said as she forces a smile.

"You can always talk to me, to us." I comforted as I tap her back.

"At least you have good news about your training. I wonder when would I do better in my training?" She said. Jimin is.. envious?

I stood up and brushed my butt. I offered my hand to her and she looked at it.

"What's that for?" She asked.

"Come on. Let's go and have some healing." I offered.

She stood up and didn't accept my hand. She walked to the computer and played the song again.

"Eonnie?" I called her because I'm confused right now.

"I'm sorry. I can't accept your offer right now. I need to practice." She said with a serious tone.

"But you need to go out and breathe. You're really stressed right now." I tried to convince.

"Minji. I just told you what I've been going through right now. Don't you understand what I've said?" She looked at me and she's getting irritated.

"I understood everything but I'm just.. trying to help you someho-"

"Just because I told you my situation it doesn't mean that I gave you the obligation to help me." She said firmly. Her eyes are so red and wet.

"But." I was about to say something but I think it'll just make things worse.

"You should go. Leave me alone for now, Minji. I need to focus." She said as she faces the computer again.

She played the song again and went to the center of the studio then she started dancing. I slowly walk towards the door and get out.