Chapter 1

It was a normal day. As usual, I left work exhausted from being harassed by my boss. I stood in front of the crosswalk, waited for the light to change, and immediately took a step forward as soon as the light turned green.

But as I trudged with my head bowed down because I was so exhausted—suddenly, there was a beaming light flashing into my eyes, and a car’s horn that blared straight into my ears. Without raising my head, my body was flung and fell to the ground in an instant. I could hear all sorts of sounds: someone screaming, murmuring, people approaching. But, I slowly closed my eyes as I got more and more unfocused.

When I opened my eyes without realizing that I had died, I was on a bed. There was a man beside me.

‘What the hell. Is this a dream?’

It was a situation that could only be a dream, so I thought it was one.

“…Wife?”

A man with a low-pitched, very hoarse voice was looking at me. The headache remained, perhaps as a result of the accident. I frowned involuntarily. It looked as if I wasn’t dead yet. Yes, this was definitely a dream.

“I’m sorry. I’ll do better…”

Huh? What did you do wrong and what are you going to do better?

The moment I thought of that, the man raised his bare upper body and hurriedly kissed me.

It was then that I realized that I, like the man, wore nothing. Because the body in contact with the man felt raw.

‘What— what in the world?’

Without a moment’s notice, the man’s moist and soft tongue slipped through my slightly gaping lips, prodding into every corner of my mouth. In particular, the moment his tongue scraped the roof of my mouth and continued to meet with my own tongue tenaciously, my whole body tickled, and at the same time, I felt wet down below.

The man must have felt it too, and suddenly, something deep inside me wriggled. And it gradually grew in size and completely took over me, and from then on he started moving his body little by little.

“…Heuuk.”

An unbearable moan flowed between my lips, and I instantly regained my senses. I wasn’t naive enough that I didn’t realize what was happening. I instinctively pushed the man away as hard as I could. Then I got out of the man’s embrace, wrapped a blanket around my body, and jumped out of the bed.

“W-what is this!”

Even if it was a dream, this wasn’t something I could have dreamt about. I screamed at him. However, as much as I did, the man looked at me with a bewildered expression, almost like he was about to cry.

“Wife… What did I do wrong? I’ll fix it. Please forgive me.”

“What are you talking about!”

What the hell is this dream? Why am I this man’s wife?

‘By the way… Can you feel sensations in a dream?’

What I just felt below was so vivid…

With such doubts, I couldn’t look straight into the man’s eyes, so I turned my head to the side in embarrassment.

“Please cover up!”

Since I took the blanket, he should find something else to cover himself. How could he be so careless and just sit still like that?

I shook my head frantically, as I couldn’t forget the splendid bulge of the man that was standing upright.

‘Don’t think about it. Obscene devil. Get away from me. please!’

“…I covered it.”

Not believing the man’s words, I kept my eyes averted and looked at him while squinting. Fortunately, he pulled out a piece of clothing and covered his lower body, but that part was still bulging.

However, because I shook my head too much, a severe headache began in an instant. It was so painful that I wrapped my head and sat down. And things that were not my memories began to flood into my head.

“It hurts! It hurts so much…!”

“Wife…!”

The man came to my side at once and held me in his arms carefully, talking to me to soothe me. But there was no sound coming into my ears.

‘What memory is this now?’

The images that flashed through my mind weren’t mine. But I was constantly being instilled with things I didn’t know.

It was so painful that it felt like my head was about to split into two.

“Aaaaack!”

The last memory I had was the man holding me with a face that expressed so much pain that I couldn’t comprehend.

* * *

I woke up already, but I kept pretending to sleep without opening my eyes. It was because I could hear the voice of the man who was beside me before I passed out. The man kept sighing as if something was making him nervous, and he was constantly talking to me, folding my limp hands between his own.

“Haa… Please, I will do better.”

“I did everything wrong. Wife.”

“Please don’t leave me alone. I cannot live without my wife.”

For the second hour, he spoke mostly like this. When I heard those words, it almost felt like I was about to die soon. Again. Anyway, I lay there with my eyes closed as I still hadn’t decided what to do when I woke up.

Of course, now I knew why the man was doing this. It was because of the images that flashed before my eyes as I fainted—in a dream that was more detailed—explained the current situation I was in.

Among the people in the dream, he appeared in almost all of my memories.

It all started with a scene where I was marrying a child… And that child was this man when he was younger. At first, he was always smiling, but after a certain time, he withdrew and became more depressed. It was because the owner of this body threw all kinds of bad things at the child.

Dirty. Ugly. No one likes you, if you don’t listen, I’ll throw you away. The intensity of the abusive language she directed at him was severe. However, the treatment after giving the child pain and sadness was always the same— she hugged the child as he cried and begged for her forgiveness, and in return, she also cried and apologized.

The dream that followed was a bit more recent, where the man had a physique that was similar to what he had now. From that time on, the moments when this man had been properly dressed were too few to be counted. He was either half-dressed or completely *****, moaning here and there on the bed.

I understood what that meant. And when I woke up, I realized what I was doing with the man.

‘Did I reincarnate?’

At first glance, my appearance was entirely different from how I looked before I died. It just wasn’t my body. Above all else, the man had blonde hair and blue eyes. It was rare to encounter such a man who looked like that, let alone talk to him. I’m sure this wasn’t the world I originally lived in.

And there was a name that kept repeating in my dreams. It was my name and the man’s name.

‘Astelle Einer and Bleon Einer.’

Bleon Einer…

‘I remember. I think I was the male lead in a serialized novel I read recently…’

Yes, I think that’s right.

This was clearly the novel, [Can the male lead in a tragedy novel be saved by the female lead?]

The title was too long and I was curious about the ending, so I went to read it. However, as the title of the novel suggested, the story was still vivid in my memory because of the experience of being so tragic. So, based on my memories, I could surmise that I became the ex-wife who abused her ex-husband, who would become the male lead.

‘I’m going to die soon.’

After the male lead met the female lead and fell in love with her, he would eventually pursue revenge and come to kill me…

It wasn’t like I had any regrets about living. But I already knew how the ex-wife was going to die.

‘It was too much of an R-19 crisis.’

Really, it was beyond my imagination. Just thinking about it gave me goosebumps.

‘I don’t want to suffer like that.’

After all, it wasn’t my fault and I wasn’t responsible for making him like that, so I didn’t want to be subjected to strange things disguised as such pleasures. But come to think about it, the male lead was not normal either.

No, he couldn’t be normal.

He’d been abused for such a long time…

When the male lead went to see his ex-wife, the readers, including myself, finally felt like the scene would be as refreshing as drinking cider, knowing he was going to exact revenge. Prior to that, there was considerable speculation as to whether that was the end of the story because he only announced the divorce and expelled her from the Duchy, but no revenge against the ex-wife came. So in the end, I thought he had found his ex-wife a perfect revenge, but now—what? It wasn’t cider, but a development completely beyond imagination.

First of all, the male lead bound his ex-wife and then used various things to torment her in the same way he had suffered, or even worse. And the two of them mixed bodies day and night for days and days. At the end of the novel in which the female lead appeared and saved the male lead—who was now legally married to her at the time—when the man was motionless, stunned by the fact that his ex-wife suddenly died in his arms. At that moment, he also wanted to die.

‘It was really eye popping.’

That’s when I realized how crazy an R-19 tragedy novel was. So it was a novel that received a lot of criticism and became a hot issue for a while because of the ending.

Starting with ‘How can the man sleep with a woman other than the female lead,’ ‘That’s not a real male lead,’ ‘I would rather ship the female lead with another man.’ Even after the novel ended, there were many troubling critiques.

And then there was one topic on which opinions were very divided.

It was about ‘Did the male lead really love his ex-wife?’

Like most people I thought it was some sort of Stockholm Syndrome. He was brainwashed from a very young age, and the sexual relationship he had with his ex-wife might be the result of being forced into it.

Anyway, love or whatever, the conclusion was that I was going to die.

‘I don’t want to die in such a dirty and unpleasant way.’

So what should I do?

As soon as I woke up, should I ask for a divorce? I think he will find me though…

He must have already lost his mind, but running away wouldn’t bring any good results. Because in the original story, he eventually found his ex-wife, who was hiding from the public eye.

Then there was only one way.

Playing the role of a good wife and changing the male lead for the better, even a little bit. That was the only way I could live. And when I would do enough work to some extent, it would be best to hand him over to the female lead and get a divorce.

‘If that happens, there will be bad memories, but there will also be good memories, so will you still come to kill me?’

Of course I’d have to try, but a well-founded confidence arose that I would be better than the vicious ex-wife anyway.

Good. Let’s try it.

After making the decision, I slowly opened my eyes. And I met the tearful blue eyes that were staring right at me.

“…Wife?”

As soon as I opened my eyes, the man cautiously called to me.

Chapter 2

“Bleon?”

I found out in my memory that Astell called him ‘Duke’ in public but only his name in private. So I called his name.

“…I’m glad you woke up. I… I…”

Bleon put my hand to my cheek. I could feel how much he was trembling.

“How long has it been?”

“…It’s been a week.”

A week?

I didn’t know it had been so long, so I looked at him with a surprised expression.

“For a week… I really… Haa…”

He struggled with his words. I reached out with my free hand—the other one was enveloped in his—and stroked his head gently.

“It’s alright. I woke up.”

“…Yes. It’s such a relief. Oh, I’ll call the doctor right away.”

“I’m fine, but thank you. I’m not hurt anymore.”

“But…”

As Bleon spoke, he was paying close attention to whether he had offended me.

“It’s alright.”

Having said that, I pondered for a while.

‘He’s still trembling. Does he want to hold me?’

For some reason, his eyes told me that he wanted something, so I thought about it a bit, then I opened my arms to him, my expression betraying that I didn’t know what to do, but I wanted to be nice to him anyway.

“Come here.”

Then, as if Bleon had been waiting, he fell into my embrace. I gently stroked his back, which was much bigger than mine.

“Good boy.”

He gave me a big hug and rubbed his face against the nape of my neck.

‘He’s like a puppy.’

I stroked his silky hair as well, waiting for his trembling to calm down.

“Are you feeling better?”

“…Not yet.”

He stopped quivering already and he had visibly calmed down, but he was still in my arms.

“To the bed… Can I go up?”

“Huh?”

“Can’t… I? I want to give my wife a hug…”

His voice had become subdued, perhaps because my answer sounded like I was denying him.

“Oh…? Alright, come up.”

As soon as I gave my permission, Bleon came up to the bed and laid down next to me. And contrary to the situation earlier, this time, he was the one who held me in his arms.

“Haa… I think I can breathe now…”

He took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief.

“You’re all better now, right?”

“Yes, I’m fine now.”

“Don’t get sick anymore, please…”

As I was in his arms, question marks kept floating around in my head.

‘Why are you so worried about the person who abused you?’

I didn’t quite understand. Was it the conditioning he received? Was it because he was consistently treated badly that it stopped him from rebelling? He was too obedient, hanging onto my words, submitting to me unconditionally. Anyway, I couldn’t see him holding any antipathy towards Astell, so this made me think that things could be resolved easily in the future.

“Can I kiss you?”

“Huh?”

“No?”

Ah.

Astell and Bleon had quite a difference in age. Bleon had just grown up and was 20 years old, and Astell was 13 years older than Bleon. Although Bleon looked older than his age, he also felt more like a younger brother than a man to me, probably because his age was similar to my original age, or because I knew how young he really was. So, the hug was also meant to support someone like a sibling.

But kissing…!

Of course, when I first saw him, I thought it was a dream and I didn’t understand the situation at all, so I hugged him on a whim. But now that I regained my senses, I realized that I absolutely shouldn’t have done that.

“I won’t kiss you from now on.”

So I said it loud and clear that I wouldn’t kiss him anymore in the future.

“…What?”

At my words, Bleon’s gaze flitted to me, his eyes full of shock.

“Did I do something wrong?”

His voice was full of sorrow, almost like he’s already crying.

“No. You did nothing wrong.”

“…Then why? I’ll do better.”

“No, no…!”

It was my first time meeting such a person, so I didn’t know how to deal with him. I began to appease him again, even as I was still puzzled.

“While I was sick, I realized something, and I think I’ve been too much for you. So I decided to change. I will never give you that potion anymore. I’ll tell the butler to get the antidote right away, so you should take it. Understand?”

As if he still couldn’t understand what I was saying, Bleon just looked at me with confusion.

“And now you can do whatever you want. I’m not going to force you to do anything anymore. I swear.”

He looked at me in disbelief and opened his mouth.

“I must have done something wrong. But I don’t know, so please tell me…”

“Bleon…!”

Wow, this was really hard. It gave me goosebumps for a moment as I realized that he really was thoroughly controlled by Astell to this extent.

“Don’t say that anymore. You did nothing wrong.”

“…Are you trying to leave me?”

“No, I…”

I didn’t mean I’d throw him away, but somehow it seemed like I was…

I was having a hard time answering.

“I’m not throwing you away……!”

Anyway, I wasn’t going to do that, so I explained right away, with conviction.

“So, let’s live a normal life now.”

I really wished to live an ordinary life and die an ordinary death.

But Bleon was still looking at me like he couldn’t understand the language I was using. Why did I think it was going to be easy? This might be quite difficult. I kept telling Bleon what I planned to do, but he couldn’t seem to hear any of it.

And he embraced me tightly, saying that he felt like I would abandon him or just disappear. Thanks to this, I had the sudden privilege to be locked up in the arms of a handsome young man who I never imagined I’d be fated to be with. He smelled very good. Without realizing it, I leaned in closer to his body and sniffed.

“I felt like my wife will wake up today, and I wanted to look pretty, so I took a bath with my wife’s favorite petals. Did I do well?”

“Huh? Yes. Good job.”

“But my wife smells so much better.”

Then he also buried his face in my nape and breathed deeply. During the week I was lying down, the employees might have occasionally wiped my body with towels, but they wouldn’t have been able to clean me properly, and he was sticking his nose in my body saying he liked it.

“…want……”

What do you want to do—

Then, suddenly, I felt something hard and big poking at my abdomen, rapidly making its presence known. I realized what it was and pulled back to get as far away from him as possible. But the moment I tried to turn away, a huge, thick length had been deeply engraved in my mind. I couldn’t get it out of my head that that was still touching my body.

“Haa… Wife…”

While my body was getting hotter and hotter, I tried not to show any signs of it, but I could feel Bleon’s anxiety as he sighed.

‘I’m in a bind.’

Ah, now I know.

After thinking about how to get out of this very difficult situation, I finally figured out why he was doing this. The reason why Bleon was so anxious about the kiss earlier was because of his impatience. During the week I slept, he probably didn’t take the potion, but since he drank it almost every day before that, he might be having withdrawal symptoms.

“You can’t. You need to take the antidote right now.”

“What?”

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Bleon, yet again, looked at me with a puzzled expression, seeming like he couldn’t comprehend why I would say that all of a sudden.

“Take the antidote so you’ll be fine.”

With that said, I tried to wriggle out of his arms to get out of bed. But Bleon was holding me so tightly that I couldn’t move at all.

“Would you mind letting me go?”

As soon as I spoke expressionlessly to him, Bleon flinched and moved away from me as he sat up.

‘You listen very well.’

But despite that, it looked like he was on the verge of crying because it was against his will. I waved the bell hanging from the bed the moment I got away from him. Then shortly thereafter, a knock on the door was heard.

“It’s Jace, Madam.”

“Come in.”

Perhaps it was because I was influenced by the memories of this body’s original owner, but it wasn’t difficult to speak to the butler.

“Madam, you’re awake.”

As soon as the butler Jace entered the bedroom, he saw me awake and said with a bright smile.

“Bring me the antidote to the potion that Bleon has been drinking.”

I told him to bring the antidote right away.

“Antidote?”

The butler looked confused. Astell had never given Bleon any antidote since she used the potion.

“Yes. Right now.”

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Chapter 3

Jace, the Duchy’s butler, was one of the people who knew almost everything about the affairs between Astell and Bleon. The first thing Astell did after getting married and coming to the Duchy was to kick out the people who were working there. And instead of them, she filled the estate with her own people.

The butler was one of them. He was a middle-aged man whose hair had just started to turn gray, and he had worked for Astell since she was still the daughter of a Marquis. So he knew where the antidote was.

“Should I call the doctor?” the butler asked, worried about Astell.

“It’s all right.”

The headache was completely gone now, so he didn’t have to call the doctor.

“Understood. I shall be back in a while.”

The butler answered without changing his expression and went out immediately. After the butler left, I turned around and looked at Bleon, who met my gaze with a puzzled expression.

“Bleon.”

I called out his name. And I blurted out what I was thinking.

“From now on, I’m going to use my words as politely as possible to you. Up until now, I’ve only done it at official events, but now I’ll try to do it at any place. Of course, I’m not used to it yet, so I’ll make some mistakes, but I’ll try my best.”

“…Why?”

“You’ve come of age this year. So, as the Duke of Einer, now you have to lead the Duchy. I want to respect you like that in the future.”

Bleon had a gloomy expression on his face as if he wasn’t very happy with it.

“I like it when my wife calls me Bleon…”

“In the first place, not just anyone can call the Duke’s name recklessly. It’s not just me, it’s everyone else.”

“But you’re special… By the way… You know…”

Bleon hesitated, unable to speak.

“What is it? If you have something to say, say it.”

“…It’s hard.”

“What?”

“…Here……”

It was then that Bleon’s condition came into view. His eyes were red and he was breathing heavily.

“Ah…”

And in the place where my gaze stopped without realizing it, that place, where his blood was rushing to, revealed its presence under his pants.

“The butler will be here soon. Take the antidote and it will subside, so be patient.”

I said to him soothingly.

“…Do you hate me now? Is it because I’m ugly?”

Why is the conversation going that way again?

“It’s not because I hate you or because I can’t stand you. It’s the same thing when I said I won’t kiss you anymore. I don’t want to force you.”

“It’s not forced…”

“No. The reason you’re like this now is because of the drug I gave you. It is not your will.”

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“…It’s really not that…”

‘Wow…’

He’s been really brainwashed like crazy.

I shook my head, tired of Bleon’s attitude. Then he suddenly winced and cried, then he grabbed my hands and brought them to his face.

“…I-I was wrong…”

“…What?”

I really don’t know why he’s asking me for forgiveness again, so I asked him.

“My wife looked at me and shook her head… I’ll listen to you… Please forgive me…”

Ah, I’ll have to keep a straight face in the future.

It’s not that I’m tired of Bleon, it’s just that the current situation was frustrating. But of course, he misunderstood.

“It’s not you, Bleon.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. And let’s take the medicine. If you drink it, those thoughts will surely disappear.”

To summarize, Bleon was addicted to mild drugs. Therefore, he would have easily responded to a weak stimulus even if he didn’t want to.

“And when the butler brings the antidote, don’t miss a day and drink it regularly. Drink it until the effect of the drug in your body completely disappears. Understand?”

I gave him a strong warning.

“If it doesn’t go away…?”

“Huh?”

“But what if this feeling doesn’t go away…?”

As Bleon said so, he had a confident face I had never seen before.

“That’s…”

I was at a loss for words.

But I don’t think that’s the case…

Since he was brainwashed and abused since he was young, and he was also sexually abused using mild drugs, it was natural for him to think that way.

However…

Ah, no. It’s not that. It’s because of the drug.

Obviously, Bleon wasn’t in control of his thoughts. That’s what I’ve concluded.

“It will disappear. Do you believe me?”

I then rushed to tell him to trust me. Bleon had an inquisitive gaze. Perhaps he was not convinced, but nonetheless nodded his head slightly.

“Yes… I trust my wife.”

“Yes. My husband is good.”

I stroked his hair that was as shiny as gold thread.

‘How is it so soft?’

His hair was so soft and silky that it felt so good that I kept stroking it without realizing it, and touched him. Then, remembering what his condition had just been, I hurriedly removed my hand from his head.

‘This kind of stimulation should be avoided for the time being.’

It seemed that it would be better to avoid even light physical contact until the effect of the drug disappeared. And just then, the butler arrived.

“Madam, I have returned,” said Jace.

“Come in.”

In his hand were several small bottles filled with red liquid.

“Here is the antidote.”

The butler came up to me and handed me the antidote. I got it and immediately took the lid off.

‘No, what’s this smell?’

The smell coming out of the bottle was worse than I thought, it was going to make me nauseous.

‘Will he be able to drink it well?’

I certainly thought of Bleon as a little brother or a child, not a man, since I’m worrying that Bleon might not be able to take his medicine. However, if it was the first time I had seen Bleon without knowing anything, I would not have thought of taking care of him this far.

It had only been a few months since he crossed the threshold of adulthood, but he’s grown up enough that he’s incredibly tall, and his frame was thick and strong to match it.

Astell had mentally abused Bleon, molding him to her liking, so Bleon had a well-built and muscular body comparable to any other swordsman.

That’s why when I first saw him before the memories flooded in, I was embarrassed and flustered because he felt like a fully grown man. But when Astell’s memories completely took over, Bleon was starting to feel more like a younger brother to me than a man.

“Bring me some candy.”

I ordered the butler to bring candy to feed Bleon.

“Yes. Understood.”

The butler left and I turned to Bleon.

“Let’s eat it later. It smells bad, so I think it would be better to eat the candy after drinking this.”

“How is it?”

Curiously, Bleon sniffed the bottle in my hand. I expected him to frown and be startled by the smell just like me. However, Bleon’s face was very calm with no change in expression.

“I think I can drink it…”

“Oh? Really?”

“Yes. I’ll just drink it. Instead…”

Bleon hesitated without speaking again. He looked at me for fear that it would bother me.

“Instead? You don’t need to be conscious of my reactions anymore. You can say whatever you want.”

I felt sorry for him again, so I encouraged him. Then, Bleon said in a hoarse voice, as if he had gained confidence because of my words.

“If I drink it well, please kiss me instead of giving me candy…”

“What?”

Why do you keep asking me to kiss you when I already said I won’t kiss you?!

However, if I refuse here again, it seemed that Bleon would feel intimidated once more. Now that I have to raise him confidently and brightly, I thought about it and found a solution.

“Alright. Then, drink it.”

As I handed the bottle, Bleon quickly drank the medicine. And he emptied it all at once and smiled very brightly and radiantly. It felt as if the sun was only following him and shining on him.

“I drank it all. Wife…!”

And as his face was about to approach me to receive the promised prize, I held his face with both hands. Then, in an instant, I kissed him briefly on the forehead and stepped back right away.

“End of kiss!”

I smiled softly. But then, Bleon immediately sulked, obviously showing that he didn’t like it.

“…Not there…”

“Then you should have told me. You just asked for a kiss. You didn’t say where.”

It was so much fun teasing him, so I smiled happily.

“Then I’ll say it again… I want to cover my wife’s soft lips with mine and put my tongue in your mouth and—mmph…!”

“Bleon…!”

When I asked him to say it clearly, he really went ahead and tried to explain everything he wanted to do and how he wanted to kiss me, so I quickly covered Bleon’s mouth with both hands.

“I-It’s already over…! And you don’t have to say all that!”

Isn’t he embarrassed?

I was already flushed just by his words, and I was stuttering.

“You w-won’t continue, right?”

Bleon nodded his head slightly at my words. I believed him and removed my hand from his lips.

“But I will tell you clearly from now on.”

“Right. Tell me clearly. But you don’t have to go into too much detail.”

Expressing himself clearly would be good for Bleon, since he had suffered emotional abuse and had low self-esteem.

“Alright. I will listen to my wife.”

Bleon, who listens very well, answered with a very eloquent smile.

“By the way. Wife…”

“Huh?”

“The antidote’s effect… When does it happen? It’s still hard…”

“Uh… It will probably take a few hours…”

“A few hours…? Haa…”

Bleon groaned and sighed.

“You have to be patient. We can’t keep living like this. Bleon.”

“I’m happy to live like this. If I stay beside my wife…”

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