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Obsession

First day at school

The door opened I entered into the new hell of my life, my new classroom .Being a transfer student was the worst experience but every time I changed schools, I had the hope of blending in. I was always the odd one out no matter how many times I changed schools. As I stood next to the teacher and introduced myself my heart was throbbing at a very fast pace and I could not calm down. I could see all eyes looking down on me. My looks did not even help me as I was wearing midcalf pleated skirt and big spectacles.

I was directed to my seat and wow behold there sat my dream guy, I could had sworn he was ripped right out of my dreams. He smiled and winked at me, it was love at first sight at least for me. It seemed God had created him just for me. However as I stood in awe of his beauty I was embarrassed by the teacher calling out my name for me to take a seat. I almost sat in midair but he pushed the chair towards me in the right time. All seemed to work well, did I have hidden charm because I could see he was falling for me.

When lectures had ended and I was heading home I got curious about Tinaye's whereabouts, the boy from my dreams. As I was about to take my turn on the right there he was and before I called out to him I realized they were talking about me .He told his friends about a stupid weird girl who sat next to him, I could not wait for the next insult I just ran past them in tears.

The next day at school I was all gloomy and he did not even bother to say hello .I was treated like I did not exist I felt like a waste of space. Days passed my position became very sticky no one in class bothered to greet me like usually I was the ugly duckling. Either ways I was in luck since I had great appreciation for technology. I was on a lot of social media platforms like whatsapp, instagram and Facebook. I had a lot of foreign friends so I guess my life was complete. Who wanted friends in real life they just leave your pockets empty, looking at people with best friends they were pitiful in my eyes, why have someone who holds you back. I had no need to sacrifice for selfish friends, my life was complete me, myself and I.

I did not see it coming or how it entered my subconscious, the feeling of wanting to be loved by someone. It came on strong the fiery passions that I had ignited could only be quenched by Tinaye. Going to school was now bliss I did not care about a single soul I only cared for Tinaye. I began watching him from time to time, had I known this was the beginning of my obsession I would have compelled myself to stop. I was now in too deep I had private photos of him in my phone and I also knew what he fancied or hated. I really had invaded his privacy but I did not care I wanted more information about him.

my delusion

School brought me private bliss, I could indulge in my pettiness for all I cared. Immersed in my own thoughts I seemed to enjoy his presence. His love was all I cared for surely he was bound to notice me someday. It was clear as day that I had to root out any obstacles in my path. Any girl that looked his way I made sure they drew their fair share, I remember Sally the class beauty how I made her grovel in her own piss. I had become ruthless unforgiving and I actually cared for nothing other than my personal happiness. I knew no one would bring me the happiness I deserved, I had to be aggressive and grab it forcefully. This seemed to work, I watched as I drove the people near him into madness, he was becoming lonely, desperate to pass off, nevertheless that did not stop me from trying to win over his heart.

No one understood how it felt to be left alone, unwanted, useless and unloved if only they could ascertain the good in me I would have been able to keep my sanity and my self-respect. If Tinaye hadn't taken my love for granted I surely would have been a bright flower among the rest. Love indeed is a beautiful thing I evolved, my dressing sense improved I also washed my hair frequently.

Life had taught me the hard way, living on my own with no parental guidance the only thing close to family that I had was a self-engrossed aunt. It was obvious that she tolerated me only for the money my family had left, fortunately for me they had made it impossible for her to even have any access to their fortune. I had always been alone for as long as I could remember, even her presence had no impact in my personal values.

Developing feeling for someone was the first time I had actually initiated human contact and interaction from my side. I had never felt the warmth I felt from him on the first day of school when we pushed my chair towards me and helped me maintain composure. I felt immense gratitude towards him, for the first time someone had noticed me looked past my raged self and seen me for who I was, a lost puppy just looking for love. He had indeed seen right through me.

They say when you are in love you glow, I was fairly pretty not drop dead gorgeous but I was fairly ok, when it came to my looks. It was a pity I had abandoned my image for quite a while, I had lost sight of what it meant to be human, to be treated as a human.He brought that shine back to my life.

It was supposed to take time for a class misfit like me to blend in ,but besides him it was truly magical. My loneliness was fading at least that is what I believed, unfortunately that was the calm before the storm.Tinaye had reached out.I guess this is what pushed me into a suicidal comfort zone.

Betrayal

In the abyss Klein his best friend felt pity for me, helped me fill in the loop. He was like that bright light at the end of the tunnel. Tinaye had been too kind, too loving only to have me drop my guard so that he could lash out.

He knew that he had consumed my thoughts to the very core, the more I tried to shrug the more the noose tightened, the more I got hooked in this toxic affair He knew about how I had threatened Sally, how I made her life a living hell. I had isolated him from his friends the seed of discord that I had planted now came back to me like a double edged sword.

Though it was imminent that I could not win this fight still I had to try. In my eyes I was fighting for the love of my life, what a shame became I was the only one trying to hold on, at war with the love of my life. When your luck has run out even the universe cannot save you. Everything was conspiring against me.

It was only after we had finished school that I realized I was being made a mockery of, my love was being ridiculed. He knew I loved him thus he decided to toil with my heart. He completed my emptiness, my desperation, I cannot fully blame him since I had initiated this ill-fated love.

The moment our eyes met our fates were sealed we were forever doomed to entangle in this lifeless dream of happiness. He was all I could have wished for, he was handsome from the depth of his eyes to the touch of his hand upon mine. I could see his beauty as his soul blazed through his skin.

For a moment I could not unmask him to gaze upon his true soul.

I was totally wrapped around his finger, unsuspecting and unknowingly I had fallen for him. I had fallen so hard to the point that I would die if anyone dared to separate us. Klein his best friend had always been that friend that stayed in the dark caring from afar, I did not know that we were bound to be close friends, I only saw him as Tinaye’s friend but he had my best interest at heart.

Tinaye and I were inseparable, a match made in hell so toxic, yet so in love. He had been my motivation my biggest joy, I remember how we had spent the summer together at my late parents farm house. We clicked so well, built dreams in air, had our future figured out. I had never realized how he used me financially I used to buy things for him. We would always fight when I had put restrictions on his spending spreew.

Since he loved me I thought I also awed him this little much. He was sucking me dry like a vampire that just woke up from a never ending sleep, still I did not care. All he had to offer me was his extremely breath taking face, he could not even create a little corner for me in his mind let alone his heart. I really was pathetic.

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