This BL novel I hold in my hands

“Just stop it now, please!”

A desperate, frantic scream filled the well-adorned room.

Drenched in blood, the body of a man lay motionless on the floor.

Frey’s eyes welled up with tears as he embraced Bliss, the man who seemed to be dead already. His hair, as black as the night sky, was sweaty and knotted. His unusually red lips quivered, and his whole body was smeared with blood that seemed to be Bliss’s.

Lisandro’s mouth twitched as he stared down at the two who were in an affectionate embrace.

Thick blood dripped from the sword he was gripping tightly, turning the white carpet crimson.

Then, he nonchalantly threw his blade on the ground and asked.

“Stop what?”

His low-pitched voice sneered at Frey.

Lisandro approached him on his long legs, grabbed Bliss’s hair, whose body had now turned into a cold corpse, then threw him away.

Frey’s eyes trembled as he gazed at the helpless corpse rolling on the floor.

Lisandro forced him to look him in the eyes, squeezing his shoulders even as Frey continued to reach his one and only close friend.

Frey snatched the hand from his shoulder and stared into those disgusting eyes filled with twisted love and possessive desire.

Lisandro naturally withdrew his hand, as if he didn’t care, and forced Frey up.

He lifted the corner of his mouth, gently rubbing the blood splattered over Frey’s face.

“I told you.”

“…”

“If you turn to anyone else apart from me, I’ll kill them all.”

Lisandro’s sky blue eyes glowed faintly.

The tense air sank heavily, but his hand was still clutching Frey’s shoulder, which seemed like it was going to break from the intense pressure being exerted, to the point that the veins on the back of his large and strong hand were visible.

Frey looked at him, gritting his teeth to keep from moaning in pain. His eyes began to turn red.

Lisandro stared at the red, tear-stricken eyes.

It was the face that never failed to drive him mad.

His eyes sunk deep.

He thought that that beautiful face, body, and even Frey’s heart, had to be entirely his.

But, as if mocking him, Frey and his best friend, Bliss, tried to run away.

So, he killed Bliss. How dare he take Frey from his grasp.

Lisandro snatched his head roughly, pressing his lips gently against the translucent tears that flowed nonstop.

Sky-blue eyes filled with madness.

“Ugh…!”

Frey’s head back was pulled back roughly, which caused him to groan faintly.

Lisandro opened his mouth without avoiding Frey’s hostile gaze.

“Who else are you going to kill?”

With Lisandro’s insidious smile, Frey’s face crumpled…

Flash!

“Haaa, haaa…!”

Sweat dripped down my body as I woke up abruptly.

Maybe it was because of the nightmare, but my body and lips were trembling. Without realizing it, I had shed tears, and translucent liquid streamed down my cheeks.

The dream was so visceral that I couldn’t come to my senses.

I blinked absentmindedly,bit my lips and tore my hair out as I screamed silently.

Ah, this is insane. Insane!

The dream I just had wasn’t just a simple nightmare.

It was…

I bit my lower lip and shut my eyes tightly.

“It wasn’t just any old reincarnation. Of all things, why…?”

Still lying on my bed, I flailed and swung my arms and legs.

My anger and frustration rose.

The reason was simple.

“My older sister has finally gone crazy.”

At the clear voice that pierced through my ears as if to skewer my thoughts, I shifted my head, which had been buried in a pillow, and saw the owner of the voice.

A cute boy with hair like snow and eyes as blue as the daytime sky. He looked like me, and was shaking his head and clicking his tongue.

Our parents taught him from a young age that he should call me ‘Elder Sister’ to treat me with respect because I was born ten minutes earlier than him.

I jumped up, grimacing, and pinched and stretched his cheeks.

“Ow! That hurts! So you’ve really lost your mind!”

“No, you’re the one who’s weird! And I told you to call me Sister!”

Then, with tears streaming down his cheeks, my brother shouted back.

“No, Sister is weirder!”

“I said it’s you, it’s you!”

Despite everything, he still obediently called me ‘Sister’ just as I asked of him.

And on top of that, he never attempted to retaliate and touch my cheek. Instead, he just kept trying to free himself from my grip.

But I didn’t let go at all.

Startled by the sound of our squabbling, our nanny burst through the door and tried to stop us from the endless squealing and fighting.

“Lady Yurenia, Young Master Lisandro! Why are you kicking up a fuss so early in the morning?”

The nanny approached us with a stern expression.

I quickly let go of Lisandro. He rubbed his red cheeks frantically.

I closed my eyes tightly in despair. Yeah… I realized. That crazy ‘Lisandro’ from my terrible nightmare was my twin brother.

\*\*\*

Yurenia Rohelio.

That’s my name in this life.

In my previous life, I was killed for unknown reasons less than half a year after I turned twenty years old.

I’m pretty sure I was lying down and looking at my phone when I threw up blood and died.

I died before I could truly enjoy what it meant to be an adult.

It was so ridiculous that it didn’t feel real, but when I opened my eyes again, I was in a completely different place from where I lived.

The place where I had reincarnated was a so-called fantasy world. It was the same as any other novel.

In a world where class differences were rigid, my status was fortunately on the higher side.

The Rohelio family, as everyone would know, was a prestigious meritorious family representing the Angelus Empire, and the family was one of the four irreplaceable families of the Empire.

In short, I was wealthy and powerful.

Born with a golden spoon, I’m so moved that I wanted to perform ‘Take Off Your Panties and Scream!’ by myself.

But this nightmare changed the trajectory of my life.

I couldn’t just enjoy being born into a rich family.

Because my nightmare couldn’t be brushed off as just a bad dream.

This world I reincarnated was, without a doubt, inside the BL novel that was written by a close friend of mine.

On top of that, the novel was a wretched tragedy.

It was filled with despair and chaos, where there was absolutely no hope and love!

I wasn’t sure why I suddenly had a dream about it as if it were alerting me that the place I had reincarnated into was from a book, but I was quite frustrated.

And, as I saw in my dream, Lisandro was no run-of-the-mill lunatic.

He was the type of person who didn’t feel bad about his compulsive behavior.

‘What do you mean regret? Is it food?’

My younger brother was capable of saying stuff like that.

I gave the stink eye to Lisandro, the adorable young kid over there who was stroking his puffy cheeks.

“Why are you glaring at me?”

“Ahhh, it’s real!”

I burst out crying and banged my chest.

This twin brother of mine, Lisandro, was a terrible man who would later drive another guy to the edge of a cliff at the end.

Anyone could see that he looked like a pure-white angel right now, but he would later become a fallen angel as soon as he met Frey in the future.

“What did Milady dislike today that you resorted to harassing the Young Master?”

“…”

The nanny was more on my side than Lisandro’s.

Although I bullied him every day, she was too busy staring at me with loving eyes to scold me.

And Lisandro was not jealous. On the contrary, he accepted it as though it was entirely natural.

Lisandro and I argued frequently, but he was a good younger brother who was only unhappy because he couldn’t protect me as well as our parents and nanny whenever I went out.

Yeah, I was rather proud of that not too long ago.

As Lisandro glared at me in return while still stroking his red cheeks, I opened my lips.

“I’m going to think about something for a second, so leave me alone, Nanny.”

“…Is there truly something wrong, Milady?”

Our nanny seemed worried when I asked if I could be alone. Lisandro and I quickly reconciled most of the time no matter how badly we fought.

“S-Sister…?”

Lisandro also opened his mouth with tears in his eyes, as if the deadly glare he had just given me was a lie.

“Sister, it’s my fault, hm? So don’t kick me out…”

No, it’s my fault for picking a fight with him right as soon as I woke up.

But the feisty Lisandro quickly conceded when I said I wanted him out of my room.

How come this sweet, lovely, adorable child was… the horrible, vicious, and bloodthirsty Lisandro from my nightmare?

I shook my head again.

“It’s not because of you. I really just want to be alone.”

I looked at our nanny, who was concerned, but after he calmed down a little, she took Lisandro’s hand and went out of my room.

The door clicked shut, and I was determined to get serious about sorting out this situation.

First and foremost, the world that appeared in my dream and where I now lived was the same as the one in the BL novel that I had read in my previous life.

I did say it was a novel, but it was never officially published. It was a novel written by a friend who showed it only to me.

This friend of mine gave me the manuscript right away as if she had been waiting for me to turn twenty.

I read it leisurely because she had requested me to, but the more I read, the more restless my heart got.

I remember that it wasn’t just because of the book’s content. The scenes on the pages came alive in my mind because they were so vivid that they seemed to be from my subconscious.

As if I had experienced it all.

After reading all of the chapters that made me feel sick just by looking at them, I asked my friend:

“Do you have a grudge against Frey?”

The Frey I was talking about here was the target of Lisandro’s obsession in my friend’s novel.

He was the sickly male lead with a mysterious and captivating beauty.

There was not a single racy scene, but it was so psychologically draining that there was no other choice but to classify it as an R-19 novel.

Furthermore, the tiny emotional lines and skinship that occurred between them gave me the creeps rather than a tickling sensation.

The title of the novel was [ The Desperate Cry ].

Frey, as the title implies, had a pitiful ending where he passionately pleaded for salvation before taking his own life.

Was there any regret?

I wouldn’t be so angry if Lisandro regretted it.

When Frey took his own life, I grabbed my friend by the collar and asked whether Lisandro had any regrets or what happened after that, but she simply smiled calmly and replied,

“Well, I’m not sure about that.”

‘Does it make sense that you wrote it but you don’t know?’

Anyway, now that I think about it, that girl was somehow strange.

At that time, when she handed me the novel, she said something strange.

“You’d better not forget this. Make no mistakes and keep everything in mind. That’s how you’ll survive.”

It almost sounded like a threat. When she said that, I remembered her dark eyes having a mysterious glow to them.

Her dark eyes, which had always been creepy to me, seemed creepier that day.

Why did I need to remember everything in this novel to survive? To be honest, I was a little scared back then, but now that I thought about it, I had a lot of questions.

As if she knew that I would end up here…

“…Ha, that’s ridiculous.”

I shook my head and burst into laughter.

Nevertheless, my heart pounded in my chest as my friend’s strange behavior flashed through my mind one after another.

She forced me to read the novel every other day, as though she really wanted to hammer the story into my head.

Wherever I was, she would always urge me to read it.

Even if I asked her to stop forcing me, she wouldn’t budge.

And above all, if I tried to refuse, she’d just be more spartan about it, so I had no choice but to read while crying as she held me down, as if I was being force-fed wasabi.

---------END OF CHAPTER 1---------

Reading that book almost felt like I was doing physical labor.

Like a hyena craving for a happy ending, this novel with a bad ending didn’t suit me at all.

In the end, I wasn’t able to stand it and wanted to run away, even as my friend recited the lines herself.

However, as I said, the atmosphere of the novel was dangerous enough to be rated R.

Lisandro and Frey didn’t go all the way, but the portrayal of the two was quite gruesome.

Imagine someone reciting it in your ear.

I reread the book with tears in my eyes under my friend’s supervision.

Thanks to that, I was able to remember the contents of the novel vividly even though it just popped into my mind.

This novel had no dreams, no hopes, no logic, no anything.

What was crazier about it was that Frey and Lisandro already knew each other now.

I’ve often seen the two of them play together, too.

Frey, with black hair and golden eyes darker than honey, was quite the beauty even at a young age. With a neutral charm and a strange air of mystery to him, he didn’t even seem to be human.

It was enough to feel that his beauty was likely enough to be destructive.

I was crazy about his looks, too, but that didn’t mean I had to have him.

There’s nothing more dangerous than being bewitched by a handsome man.

‘But that’s in the past now.’

Having seen the future through the novel, I couldn’t just sit still and relax.

I could have dismissed it as just a novel, but I couldn’t turn a blind eye to the current situation and the novel’s events, including names and circumstances.

Now, the novel’s plot wasn’t just fiction anymore, but a reality that I would have to experience.

The son of a b*tch Lisandro from the novel was now my lovely, adorable baby brother, and Frey was the pitiful child who had to be rolled around through the mud by said brother of mine.

Lisandro’s desire to monopolize Frey began at a young age.

I had to shield Frey from that moment on.

At the same time, even if I couldn’t remove Lisandro’s rotten mindset, obsession, and possessiveness entirely, I had to prevent him from yielding to it at least.

‘In this way, Frey will live, Lisandro will live, and above all, I will live.’

I had to do this because, for one thing, Yurenia died horribly at the hands of her own brother.

“Is he the grim reaper or what? No, the grim reaper only takes the dead.”

Lisandro was a jack*ss who sent the living to the underworld.

While grumbling and cursing at my brother, a deep sigh leaked through my small lips.

Yurenia, Lisandro’s twin sister in the novel, was the only Saintess on the continent and was beloved by the people of the Angelus Empire.

It was said that loving a Saintess who reappeared for the first time in seventy years, but well, people’s attitudes must be somewhat selfish.

In any case, Yurenia had a stigmata as a kid, which catapulted her to the temple and away from her family, yet she fulfilled the role of a Saintess admirably.

Her healing abilities, as well as the arrows she shoots, were strong enough to pierce through anything.

The bows and arrows made with her holy power never missed a single target.

Her arrows were faster, more accurate, and more powerful than anything.

People said that her abilities were comparable to that of the first Martina, God’s first Saintess, who Angelus had revered since its founding.

Martina made a significant contribution to the founding of Angelus into an Empire, and was given the second highest authority after the Emperor because of that.

The Temple of L’Aquila, the state religion, was second only to the Imperial Family in terms of influence.

Yurenia followed in the footsteps of the Saintesses of the past.

By becoming a Saintess, she gained the authority of a Saint.

But I didn’t know what Yurenia did with her power or her work on the temple because the novel focused more on Lisandro and Frey’s story, not hers.

I just knew she was a Saintess who dedicated her life to serving the people of the Empire.

And eventually, she would be killed at the hands of her younger brother, Lisandro.

It didn’t appear in the book, but I remembered being taught from birth about the history of the Empire, temples, and the Saints.

It was said that if the stigmata was revealed, the Saintess would need to grow up safely in the temple and receive education until she reached adulthood.

It was to protect her from any threats.

Then I’ll probably enter the temple as well.

They’d protect me better than any average Saint.

Yurenia was the first Saintess in seventy years. She was like an oasis in a desert.

Everyone coveted her since she was the sole Saintess on the continent, and there was even a legend that if you acquired the Saintess of the God L’Aquila, all blessings would be bestowed upon that nation.

It was believed that Angelus was able to grow into an Empire thanks to the divine grace of the God L’Aquila, and that it continued to prosper steadily under his protection.

Yurenia, whose stigmata was revealed at an early age, was protected by the temple and grew up there.

She was never mentioned again after leaving home and staying at the temple.

Strangely, once Yurenia was no longer mentioned in the novel, Lisandro’s feelings for Frey got deeper and more obsessive.

But it was also difficult to think that there was any significant connection between the twins with just that little information.

Because it was never mentioned in the story that their relationship was bad or anything.

Yurenia was regarded as a gentle-natured child, and the two were said to be busy playing by themselves during their childhood.

In other words, Lisandro had no reason to be angry over Yurenia’s absence.

Even so, since they were separated, it was still possible that Lisandro’s obsession became stronger due to her being away.

‘But why in the world is it something inevitable?’

Like fortune and coincidence, something unknown was bound to happen.

So this time too, it could be simply a coincidence, so I moved on to the next thing to consider without thinking about it too deeply.

Anyway, Yurenia reappears in the narrative when Lisandro’s obsession was already totally out of control.

Yurenia gave up her sainthood without hesitation after discovering the truth and left the temple.

Of course, it was because of her twin brother, Lisandro.

After receiving a suspicious letter stating that one person was suffering because of Lisandro, and that many innocent people were dying because of him, Yurenia left the temple to stop her brother.

Their parents died in her and Lisandro’s early twenties, and at that time, including Yurenia, everyone thought it was simply an accident.

Later, while escaping with Frey, she discovered that his parents had been murdered by her brother, rather than dying in an accident. Yurenia grieved bitterly in Frey’s arms.

No matter how strong Lisandro was, his mother was a skilled swordsman and his father was an archmage.

He couldn’t have killed them easily, but maybe he poisoned them or perhaps his parents let him kill them because they couldn’t kill their own son.

No details were given about the death of his parents.

Or was it that Lisandro was strong enough to beat them both?

He was the strongest swordmaster ever, so it wasn’t impossible either.

Yurenia helped Frey, who was in agony, and escaped Lisandro.

The love God had for her was significant, so it allowed them to leave and stay under the radar without being captured for a long time. And because of her frequent volunteer work here and there, she was well-versed in geography.

But it wasn’t enough to flee with those powers alone…

Yurenia was eventually caught by Lisandro and slaughtered cruelly at the hands of her own flesh and blood for stealing Frey.

After losing Yurenia, his friend who was the last hope for him, Frey was engulfed with misery and great despair.

Realising that there was no escape from Lisandro, he eventually chooses to take his own life.

“…It’s a sh*tty ending with nothing to show for. All that’s left was Lisandro’s crappy personality?”

It was a good novel for people who like to be emotionally exhausted, but it wasn’t my cup of tea at all.

‘My preference is always a happy ending! Happy! They ate well and lived well!’

But after reading my friend’s novel, I felt uneasy.

And she forced me to read it…

‘Did you really expect this to happen?’

“…No way. That’s ridiculous.”

I shook my head and tried to deny it.

However, even if I admitted to it, I wouldn’t be unable to meet her now anyway, so I shooed away that silly thought.

The most important thing now was Lisandro and Frey.

I had to turn Lisandro into a good man and keep Frey safe from him even before his obsession would begin.

Realizing that there was no escape from Lisandro, he eventually chooses to take his own life.

“…It’s a sh*tty ending with nothing to show for. All that’s left was Lisandro’s crappy personality?”

It was a good novel for people who like to be emotionally exhausted, but it wasn’t my cup of tea at all.

‘My preference is always a happy ending! Happy! They ate well and lived well!’

But after reading my friend’s novel, I felt uneasy.

And she forced me to read it…

‘Did you really expect this to happen?’

“…No way. That’s ridiculous.”

I shook my head and tried to deny it.

However, even if I admitted to it, I wouldn’t be unable to meet her now anyway, so I shooed away that silly thought.

The most important thing now was Lisandro and Frey.

I had to turn Lisandro into a good man and keep Frey safe from him even before his obsession would begin.

To be honest, I could survive by ignoring whatever happened, but I didn’t want Frey and my beloved brother running around like wild foals, suffering so much right in front of my eyes.

Lisandro was someone I cared for and cherished.

And, possibly because I read too much, my sympathy for Frey was genuine.

That’s why I was sympathetic.

I wanted Frey to be happy.

It was the same now even after I suddenly remembered my previous life.

So I had to prevent that bleak future for the sake of poor Frey and my beloved brother.

After thinking hard about it, I got out of bed and put on my comfortable slippers.

I courageously opened the door wide open.

The first thing I saw was Lisandro crouching in front of the door, hugging his knees.

When he heard the door open, he raised his head and looked at me. I couldn’t help but think that he was cute.

While reading the novel, I hated him and wanted to slap him, but not anymore.

Now I wanted to protect that innocent face so that it would not distort like that of a demon.

For his, mine, and Frey’s sake.

“You said Frey is coming today, didn’t you?”

With my hands on my waist, I asked bravely.

Lisandro nodded at my question and looked up worriedly.

“Yes, but are you okay now?”

“I’m fine. Can I play with you guys starting today?”

“Yeah!”

Lisandro, who had always wanted to play with me, jumped up and down to show that he really liked it.

He was usually feisty, but if I acted differently, my adorable little brother would instantly turn into a gentle sheep.

I patted his head and vowed again.

“The future should be twisted.”

Lisandro flinched at my unexpected words and glanced at me oddly, but acted as it was nothing.

* * *

I went to the garden wearing a cute, frilly dress (which was my parents’ favorite).

It’s already been some time since Lisandro ate a quick lunch and ran to meet Frey.

‘This little bastard’s obsession is already that much? No way!’

I clenched my fist and ran to the garden.

‘Come to think of it, what was the keyword of this novel?’

First of all, it was ‘childhood friend’.

Although they were childhood friends, Frey was a year younger than Lisandro.

Lisandro had all coercive keywords like obsession, lust, and so on.

And Frey possessed all the dreadful keywords, such as delicate, beauty, submissive, and on the run.

“Aigoo, I feel so sorry for him.”

I felt like I was about to burst into tears, so I tapped the corners of my eyes.

Frey was an elementalist with considerable abilities.

Elementalists had strong mental power.

Unfortunately, Lisandro crushed Frey’s mind, causing his awakened powers to dissipate.

As a result, despite having the ability to defeat Lisandro, he was helpless.

‘What a despicable person you are, Lisandro…’

But no, he was still adorable.

Perhaps because he was still young, I didn’t hate the way he called after me like “Sister, Sister.”

As expected. Humans were bound to be blind to their own faults, huh?

Above all, I didn’t have much time.

It was vaguely mentioned in the novel that the stigmata would appear during my childhood, so I didn’t know if it would appear tomorrow and I would have to go immediately to the temple.

I had no clue how Yurenia lived at the temple, but I had no intention of devoting my entire life to it.

She had been confined in the temple since childhood and had spent nearly her entire life there, serving, sacrificing, and devoting herself to the temple and the masses.

I couldn’t live that kind of life.

I wasn’t born to sacrifice myself for anyone.

Frankly, I was pretty selfish.

And to be honest, the phrases ‘sacrifice’ and ‘commitment’ seemed flimsy to me.

Sacrificing for others was, in some ways, selfish towards those who were most precious to me.

Because I would be throwing them away and risking my life for people I don’t even know.

——

qc/n:

If you’re reading this novel for the first time, then that’s great~ no need to read this note~

But If you’re re-reading the first two chapters of this novel, there are a few things to note:

Yurenia and Lisandro’s names were changed to these spellings (from Eureinia and Lissandro)

Frey is an elementalist, not a spiritist

The last five paragraphs in Chapter 1 were missing from the translation, so I added them there

That’s all. Happy reading~

---------END OF CHAPTER 2---------

To be honest, people already have a fixed idea that saints are all like that, benevolent to a fault.

But I’d rather shout—

‘I never even thought of wanting to become a saintess!’

I didn’t ask for it, but I was one now.

It’s not like I’m holding a grudge for it, but why must I accept a fate that I couldn’t even refuse in the first place?

I hate it so much.

Who in their right mind would like it if it was like me, who was forcibly given the title of ‘Saintess’, then told to sacrifice my life and devote everything to others?

I have no use for such an honorable position.

However, this doesn’t mean I’m cursing out the other people who sacrificed themselves for the greater good.

I admire them. They’re great. It’s not easy to step up and think of others first.

They did that because they wanted to, no because they didn’t know they’d been signed up for the task.

Ah, I’ve been ranting to myself all this time, but the bottom line is that I won’t sacrifice myself for the sake of people I don’t even know.

Martyrdom isn’t really my style.

I’ll do my part as a saintess, sure, but I won’t volunteer to do more.

I didn’t want to go to the temple at all, but okay, I’ll go to the temple if I receive the oracle calling me there to become a saintess. There, I’ll be under their custody so they can protect me until I become an adult.

Before that, I’ll have to rehabilitate my dear younger brother Lisandro.

In the midst of my growing worries, I watched the two kids sitting on the picnic blanket, chatting after they played a lot.

Because I ran to get here, I stopped for a bit and breathed in and out deeply. Then after I calmed down, I approached them.

Frey, who made eye contact with me, jumped up and put on a big smile.

“Sister*!”

“Hi, Frey.”

As he waved his hands with bright red cheeks, I greeted my favorite Frey.

Lisandro was also very handsome, but Frey was just on a whole different level.

He was a child with a certain air of mystery to him even though he wasn’t fully grown yet.

His beauty was so mesmerizing that he took my breath away.

With black hair that seemed to never get tangled up, clear irises that looked like honey-coated gold, even at a young age he exuded a strangely bewitching charisma.

It was enough for me to fall into a daze without knowing it.

He must be the result of God’s intricate manifestation.

When he grows up, he’ll be so beautiful that my image of him in my head would pale in comparison.

To the point that Lisandro’s soul would be completely ensnared.

“How are you feeling today?

I sat next to Lisandro and looked at Frey.

He was a very weak, sickly child.

He often suffered from various illnesses, had fevers, and often collapsed.

When he grew up, he was still very sickly, and Lisandro certainly didn’t help since he just made it worse.

Lisandro would constantly worry about Frey, so he didn’t allow him to leave his side for even a second.

It was pitiful, but it wasn’t right to think that Frey was pathetic because it was Lisandro’s fault he became like that.

“I’m okay! What about Sister?”

“I’m, well, very healthy of course.”

I stared at Frey’s pale complexion.

If I ever wondered what ‘delicate beauty’ ever meant, then Frey was the textbook definition.

Fortunately, I knew about Frey’s illness and how to heal it.

It’s all thanks to the novel that I read in my previous life.

Frey got sick because his heart was poisoned.

Ever since he was young, a poison began to eat away at Frey’s life.

I had no idea what kind of poison it was, but it was something that targeted his heart.

It caused people to suffer from high fevers and strain their entire body to the point of immobility.

Whenever Frey was sick, it was described like this in the book:

I feel like boiling lava is being poured all over my entire body.

I knew one way of dealing with this terrible pain.

The method was simple.

I could just send a pure holy power to Frey’s heart that would act like a shield.

Of course, if he gets struck with a sword, then he’ll definitely die, but this type of shield would be enough to prevent the poison from reaching his heart again.

The Pope’s holy power would be enough as a shield, but that could only be the case if a saint appeared in this world.

The temple’s power was directly related to the saint, so if there wasn’t one, then the temple weakened considerably.

Without a strong enough shield over his heart, the poison would continue to attack him. The poison would appear again and go straight to his heart.

Yurenia was the one who came up with the solution of placing a shield over his heart.

Thanks to that, Frey’s illness subsided for a while.

Yurenia died before Frey could be completely healed.

After they ran away together and gave Frey the hope that he could continue living, Yurenia’s death left Frey feeling more helpless and desolate than ever before.

He already thought that he’d be able to live with Yurenia with a healthy body, but when he realized that it was all in vain, the despair he felt was tremendous.

I also had a little hope in me while I was reading the novel.

I thought Frey would have a happy ending, but after Yurenia died, I was dazed.

For some reason, my heart throbbed in pain like there was something sharp stabbing me.

Yurenia made Frey healthy for a while, but they eventually got caught by Lisandro and faced a tragic ending.

God damn it, Lisandro.

I’d like to heal Frey now, but I couldn’t show my holy power just yet.

When I recalled memories of my past life, I thought of what I must do.

My great ambition to play, eat, and sleep to my heart’s content will need to be rescheduled for another time.

Along with Lisandro’s rehabilitation, Frey’s recovery was also a top priority.

“I heard you’re going to play with me from now on!”

Frey beamed and delicately held my fingertips with a delighted expression.

I laughed half-heartedly.

“Let me know if you feel uncomfortable.”

“It isn’t at all! I like it a lot!”

Frey shook his head from side to side roughly.

Well, I was going to force myself between them anyway if he rejected me, but I was glad he liked it after all.

“Frey, aren’t you a bit too happy about it?”

Lisandro puffed up his cheeks and asked Frey with a pout.

Lisandro was like any other aristocratic child his age.

“N-No that’s not it…!”

Frey blushed furiously and looked alternately between me and Lisandro.

Refraining from wanting to pinch Lisandro’s cheeks, I poked him instead.

Then, I smiled as kindly as I could so he’ll understand well.

“Lisandro, do you hate me?”

“Why are you being gross all of a sudden?”

My sweet smile cracked.

“What! So you do hate me?!”

I shouted and glared at Lisandro, who in turn flinched, then murmured softly.

“No, I’m not saying I hate you…”

“Where else can you find a sister like me? I’m so nice and wonderful that it’s only natural that Frey also likes me. Right? You like me, right?”

It was a ridiculous way to explain it.

But it worked on Lisandro precisely because it’s Lisandro. He’s an idiot, but he likes me very much.

How crazy had Lisandro been about Frey that he eventually killed his beloved sister in such a terrible way…?

Ah, it had been useless to raise him. Rotten rascal.

“…Well, maybe if it’s Frey, then it’ll be fine.”

Lisandro looked at Frey intently and shook his head.

“I’ll allow you to like my sister.”

I clicked my tongue at this brother of mine who’s speaking arrogantly and raising his chin.

He was so mischievous that I couldn’t imagine him growing up to become an obsessed lunatic.

Frey smiled broadly and nodded. Then, on the mat, he crawled closer to me.

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

It’s like he had droopy puppy ears.

I stroked his bowed head.

“Why would you think that? I don’t hate you, Frey.”

With my hand still on his head, he lifted his gaze and smiled. His beauty was truly blinding.

“Sister just watched from afar all the time and didn’t come near me… I thought you didn’t want to play with me.”

Before this, I avoided Lisandro’s chattering because I didn’t want to hear it.

And Frey was the mesmerizingly handsome man who I didn’t want to die.

It would become a big deal if Lisandro falls in love quickly with Frey.

Frey really was not like any other men—his beauty made people want to give everything to him, even their liver and gallbladder. Not me though, I wouldn’t give up my organs.

Moreover, it felt like I was intruding between the two of them if I played together with them.

But now I’ll get in their way.

“I just thought I’d be an uninvited guest when you’re playing together.”

“Not at all!”

Frey clenched his fist and denied it fiercely.

Did he really like me this much?

Because I never had much contact with Frey before, I was confused, but then I just nodded.

“Thanks, Frey.”

“Hehe.”

He smiled shyly and scratched the back of his head.

As Lisandro watched from the side, his expression slowly distorted, then he grabbed my arm and yanked me towards him.

There was even a little hostility in his gaze directed at Frey.

After a moment, while I was still shocked by the sudden change, Lisandro warned Frey in a low voice.

“She’s my sister.”

“Yeah. Lisandro’s older sister. I’m not related to you by blood, so of course she’s Lisandro’s sister.”

Frey smiled widely at Lisandro, who also grinned in return, then let go of my arms as if he was relieved.

The hostility quickly disappeared, and their eyes were full of energy again.

“It’s good that you know.”

“Yup!”

Sitting on the picnic blanket, I picked up a cookie and bit it while staring at Lisandro pitifully.

Ah, I can’t believe I spoke carelessly. I’m stupid. Stupid.

Ever since that day, I’d been stuck between Frey and Lisandro all the time.

Frey talked to me more than he did with Lisandro.

Perhaps he felt jealous while watching us, but when I was reading a book one time in preparation for entering the temple, Lisandro suddenly showed up.

When he burst through the door and rushed next to me, he crouched beside me and looked up a lot.

It was obvious that he couldn’t talk to me because he knew I’d get angry if he interrupted my reading time.

In the end, I couldn’t ignore him and closed the book.

“What is it? Do you have something to say?”

“We’re related by blood.”

“That’s unfortunately true, but yes, we are.”

Then, Lisandro quickly transformed into an innocent child and teared up.

“Why—why would you say that like it’s nothing! That’s harsh…!”

The smile on my face felt so painful, but I just held it in and patted him on the back.

“Just kidding. You and I are twins, so of course we’re inseparable.”

Lisandro, who had tears in his eyes, wiped his eyes and suddenly shouted.

“But why is only Frey pretty! Why do you only like Frey!”

Well, because Frey’s prettier than you.

If I answered this, I knew he’d go crazy and go on a tantrum, so I held it in once more.

And I don’t just like Frey.

I love him, just like how I love my brother Lisandro.

But I didn’t say this out loud.

“Isn’t it natural because Frey also likes me?”

“It doesn’t matter because I can change Frey’s mind.”

If you can’t do that, will it drive you crazy?

In Lisandro’s confident mind, I decided to plant a seed.

I decided to take this opportunity to instill in him the idea that if he becomes obsessed with another person, he’ll bever be able to live a good life.

“So you’re mad that I only like Frey?”

“Yeah.”

He nodded without hesitation and said yes.

I thought about where to start before I spoke again.

“You don’t want Frey to be sick, do you?”

“Of course. Why are you asking that all of a sudden? I know that it’s not good to be sick.”

Aigoo, you’re making me proud, dear brother.

But why did you change so much when you grew up?

I patted his head, then added.

“Then you know that it’s wrong to do the things that the person you like hates.”

“Is this another sermon?”

“If you don’t want to start another fight instead of a sermon, then just listen up.”

I glared at him.

At that, instead of laughing at me or brushing away my words, he sat still and nodded.

What a smart kid.

tl/n:

* When Frey calls Yurenia ‘Sister,’ this isn’t literal. It’s just a term to call a close older friend who’s a girl, but of course it sounds more natural in Korean. Would you guys prefer that we keep ‘Sister’ or should I switch to ‘Noona’? Let me know in the comments below~

P.S. I changed our FL’s name from ‘Eurenia’ to ‘Yurenia’ because her nickname is ‘Yuni’ and that looks better on the page than ‘Euni’.

--------END OF CHAPTER 3---------