I'm a 34 year old homeless and jobless person.
I'm plump and ugly, a nice guy who regrets how he lived his life.
I wasn't homeless three hours ago; I was a veteran NEET who hadn't left my room for the past year.
However, my parents had passed away without me noticing.
As a NEET, I didn't even attend the family meeting, let alone the funeral.
And in the end, I was chased out of the house.
I banged loudly on the walls and floor, flailing about as if no one was at home, for no one spoke up for me.
I was masturbating in my room on the funeral day when my siblings suddenly rushed in, dressed in mourning clothes, and declared that they were severing all relations with me.
I ignored them, and my younger brother took a wooden bat and destroyed the computer I valued more highly than my life.
Half-crazed, I lunged at them, but my older brother has a dan rank in karate, and I was viciously beaten in turn.
I sobbed and begged for forgiveness in an unsightly manner, but I was chased out the door, and didn't even have time to change my clothes.
I endured the throbbing pain in my chest (most of my ribs were probably broken), and walked unsteadily on the streets.
My siblings' rebukes from when I left the house resounded in my ears.
They were harsh insults that were difficult to take in.
My heart was completely broken.
What did I do wrong?
All I did was masturbate to a mosaic-less loli video during my parents' funeral……
What should I do next?
No, my mind does indeed know.
Find a job or part time job, then a place to live in, and buy some food.
How should I go about this?
I don't know what I should do to find a job.
Hmm, I still know about going to "Hello".
But though I'm not showing off that I have more than 10 years experience in staying indoors, how the heck should I know where Hello is? Furthermore, even if I go to Hello, I'd heard that it only introduces you to a job.
I'd have to bring a resume, go to the recommended place, and take an interview. I'd have to go for an interview in a dirty sweatsuit covered with sweat and blood.
Heck, if I can get employed, even I wouldn't employ a fellow wearing something crazy like this. Maybe I would sympathize with him, but I definitely wouldn't employ him.
Are there any shops that sell resume papers?.
Stationery stores? Convenience stores?
Maybe a convenience store might have them if I do go there, but I don't have any money.
And then, what will I do if I settle all of that?
Assuming that I do get lucky, manage to borrow money from a financial institute, get a change of clothes, and buy some resume papers and stationery.
I'd heard that you can't complete the resume if you don't record your residence.
It's over. Right at this moment, I finally found my life reaching its end.
……Hah.
It started to rain.
It was the end of summer, when it starts to turn cold. The icy rain pierced through the clothes that I'd worn for I don't know how many years, mercilessly stealing my body heat away.
…… If I could start over from the beginning.
I couldn't help saying that.
I wasn't born as such a rotten human.
I was born as the third son in a somewhat wealthy family. Two older brothers, one older sister, and one younger brother. The fourth in amongst the five siblings. In primary school, I was praised as clever despite my youth.
Even though I wasn't considered great at studies, I was good at games, a brat who's pretty good at sports. I was even once the center of attention in my class.
Then in junior high school I entered the computer club, consulted magazines, and saved enough money to assemble a computer. I stood out amongst my family, none of whom could write a single line of code.
The turning point in my life was high school…… no, it started in the third year of junior high. I was so busy tinkering with the computer that I neglected my studies. Thinking back on it now, that was where it all started.
I thought that learning stuff was useless for the future. I felt it couldn't be used in real life.
In the end, I entered the most idiotic high school, considered the worst in the prefecture.
Even so, I thought it was nothing.
I felt I would succeed if I got serious, and that I was different from those other idiots. That was what I thought.
I still remember the incident back then.
While queuing up to buy lunch at the cafeteria, there was a fellow who cut the queue.
I grumbled a few sentences as if I was acting out of righteousness. That was due to my strange pride and the chuunibyou personality I had.
Unfortunately, he was my senpai, and one of the two most dangerous people in the school.
I ended up being punched in the face until it was swollen, stripped *****, and tied in front of the school.
He took a lot of pictures, and easily distributed them all over the school. .
I fell to the bottom of the hierarchy in an instant, got laughed at by others, and even got the nickname of "Foreskin boy"'.
I didn't go to school for a month, and became a hikikomori. Upon seeing me like this, my father and brothers said irresponsible words to me like, Bring out your courage, do your best.
I hadn't been the one at fault.
Nobody in that sort of situation would continue to attend school. There is no way.
Thus, no matter what anyone else said, I adamantly continued my shut-in lifestyle.
I felt that the peers who knew me were all looking at my pictures, mocking me.
Even if I didn't go out, as long as I had the computer and internet, I could spend away my time. Due to the internet's influence, I got interested in many things, and did a variety of stuff. Assembling plastic models, painting figurines, creating weblogs. My mother was willing to support me and it seemed she would come up with the money to help me out for as long as I requested it.
But I was sick of them all in less than a year.
I lost my motivation whenever I saw someone being better than me.
To others, I was merely fooling around. But as I was alone with so much time, hiding in my dark shell, I had nothing else to do.
No, even when I think back on it, that was merely an excuse.
At the very least, it would have been a better choice to become a mangaka and started publishing terrible web comics, or to become a web novelist and started posting novels.
Many people who shared similar circumstances did something like that.
I made fun of and slighted those people.
Mocking their creations, thinking myself as a critic, saying things like "It's worse than sheet", criticizing them.
Even though I did nothing at all……
I want to go back.
If it's possible, I want to go back to primary school, my life's highest point, or back to the middle of junior high school. No, even if it's one or two years ago. Even if it's a little bit of time, I could still do something with it. Even though I gave up halfway through, I could start over no matter what.
If I put in my utmost effort, even if I didn't become the best, I could at least be a pro.
"……"
Why didn't I do anything up till now?
I once had a lot of time. Even though I didn't leave my room during that time, I could have done a lot of things as long as I sat in front of the computer. Even if I couldn't make it the top, I could have stayed somewhere in the middle and continued to put in effort.
Manga, novels, games, or even coding. If I had put in every effort, I should have been able to make small accomplishments. Even putting aside whether the accomplishments could be turned into money……
Ah, never mind. It's useless.
I never worked hard before. Even if I went back to the past, I would probably trip in a similar place, and stop at a similar place. I ended up like this because I could never cross the hurdles a normal human could.
"Hm?"
Somewhere in the heavy rain, I heard people arguing.
What's that commotion about?
It's annoying. I don't want to be involved. Even though I was thinking that, my feet wanted to head over to them.
"---- That's why, you----"
"You're the one-----"
Entering my sight seemed to be three high school students having a lovers' spat.
Two guys and one girl. They were dressed in the now uncommon collared student uniforms and a sailor uniform.
It seemed there was some sort of a harem war going on. The taller boy was quarreling with the girl, and the other boy was trying to mediate, but the two quarreling parties weren't listening at all.
(Hmm, I had something like that before)
I once had a somewhat cute childhood friend in junior high. She might have been considered cute, maybe a four or five. She participated in the track and field club and had short hair. She had the kind of appearance that would cause two or three out of ten people to turn back. However, I was very passionate over a particular anime and felt that those in the track and field club should have a ponytail, so I thought she was an ugly girl.
However, her home was near mine and we frequently shared the same class during primary school, so we went home together more than once. We had plenty of chances to talk together, and also bickered at times. It's a pity. In my current state, just listening to the words "junior high", "childhood friend", and "running club", is enough for me to *** 3 times.
By the way, I heard that childhood friend got married seven years ago.
I overheard this rumor from the living room, where my siblings were talking.
Our relationship wasn't bad. We were able to talk without reservations since we'd known each other from a young age.
I don't think she liked me, but if I'd studied hard and entered the same high school, or if I'd joined the track and field club and entered the same school by recommendation, I might have raised a flag. If I make a serious confession, we might even be dating each other…
I could have flirted and bickered with her like the trio, and we might even have done perverted things in an empty classroom after school.
Hah, what eroge is this?
(Come to think of it, these people are really damned riajuus. Just explode already… Hm?)
Suddenly, in that instant, I realized.
A truck was charging towards the trio at a tremendous speed.
Also, the driver of the truck was lying prone on the wheel.
He was driving in a sleep-deprived state.
And the three still hadn't noticed.
"D-d-d-Danger!!"
I tried to warn them by yelling, but I haven't used my vocal cords fully for over ten years, and the cold rain and the pain in my ribs caused them to shrink further; The teeny-weeny, trembling voice I eked out vanished in the rain.
I must save them. I have to. At the same time, I thought: why do I need to save them?
I had a gut feeling that if I didn't save them, I would regret it five seconds later. I would absolutely regret it if I saw those three people getting smashed into a bloody pulp by a truck.
Regret not saving them.
Therefore, I had to save them.
In any case, I thought I would probably starve to death by the roadside soon after. At least for that moment, I hoped to have some satisfaction.
I didn't want to be left regretting at the very end.
--I ran and hobbled along towards them.
My legs were not moving as I wanted, as I had not moved them much for the past ten years. It was the first time in my life that I wish I had exercised more. The broken ribs were pulsing with excruciating pain, hindering my every step. It was the first time in my life that I wished I had taken more calcium.
It hurt. It hurt so much that I couldn't run.
But I still ran. Ran.
I was running.
The arguing boy hugged the girl when he noticed the truck approaching in front of his eyes. The other boy had his back facing the truck and had not noticed, was merely surprised by his companion's sudden action. I grabbed his collar without any hesitation and used all my strength to pull him back. The boy was pulled away and fell to the roadside, out of the truck's path.
Good. Two more to go.
Just when I had this thought, the truck was already in front of me. I had just planned to pull them from a safe distance, but as I pulled them back, the recoil caused me to move forward.
It was to be expected, and it wouldn't even have mattered if I weighed over 100kg. As a result of sprinting with my trembling legs, I got dragged forward by the momentum.
I felt a light behind me the moment I got hit by the truck.
Was that the rumored light of the flashback before death? I couldn't see anything during that short instance. It was just too fast.
Did it mean that I did so little in my life?
I was sent flying onto a concrete wall by a truck 50 times heavier than I was.
"Puhh……!"
The air in my lungs was pushed out. My lungs spasmed, demanding air after the hard running.
I couldn't utter a sound. But I wasn't dead yet. The accumulated fat was probably what saved me……
But once I thought that, the truck appeared in front of my eyes again.
I was flattened like a tomato between the concrete ground and truck.
Part 1
When I woke up, the first thing I felt was my eyes being dazzled.
Light filled my vision, and I narrowed my eyes in discomfort.
Once my eyes adjusted to the brightness, I found a young blonde woman gazing at me.
A beautiful girl…… No, a beautiful woman would be more appropriate.
(Who is it?)
Beside her was a man of a similar young age with brown hair, giving me a stiff smile.
A strong and arrogant looking man. His muscles were amazing.
Brown hair, arrogant type. Looking at his DQN appearance, I should have been repulsed. Strangely enough though, I did not feel he was unpleasant.
His hair was a pretty brown color, probably because it wasn't dyed, I guess.
"-----XX-----XXXX"
The woman cracked a smile as she watched me and said something.
What is she saying? Feeling fuzzy, I could not hear clearly and didn't understand it at all.
Could it be that it's not Japanese?
"------XXXXX----XXX," the man replied with a gentle expression. Really, what did he just say? I couldn't understand it at all.
"------XX-----XXX"
A third person's voice came from somewhere.
I couldn't see them.
I tried to sit up and ask them, "Where is this place, and who are you guys?"
Even if I was a hikikomori, I still wasn't a complete failure at communication.
I could still do something like this.
"Ah, Ah------"
But I couldn't tell if what came from my lips was a groan or just heavy breathing.
My body couldn't move.
I felt sensations in my fingers and wrists, but I couldn't move my upper body.
"XXX--XXXXX"
In the end, the man carried me up.
This is a joke, right? My body weighs over 100 kilograms, and he lifts it up so eas…
No, maybe I had been in a coma for dozens of days, and it caused my body weight to go down.
It was such a huge incident. There was a large possibility that I lost an arm or a leg.
(A fate worse than death, hah……)
On that day.
Those were my thoughts.
Part 2
A month passed by.
It looked like I was reincarnated. I finally realized that fact.
I had become a baby.
I confirmed it when I was carried up with my head supported and my own body appeared in my sight.
I didn't know why I still had my past memories, but there was nothing bad about retaining them.
Retaining memories upon reincarnation-----anyone would have entertained such delusions at least once.
But I didn't think that such a delusion would become reality……
The first couple I had seen when I opened my eyes seemed to be my parents.
They were probably in the earlier half of their 20s.
Clearly, they were younger than me in my past life.
From the perspective of a 34-year-old, it was alright to call them young.
It really made me envious that they had children at that age.
I already noticed it from the start, but I didn't seem to be in Japan.
The language was different, my parents' faces didn't appear to be Japanese, and their clothes even seemed to be that of a native village.
I couldn't see anything resembling an electronic device (the person who wore a maid's apron was cleaning with a cloth), and the utensils, bowls, and furniture were coarsely made from wood. It was probably not an advanced, developed country.
The light was not produced from light bulbs, but from candles and lamps.
Of course, there was the possibility of them being very poor and unable to afford the electricity bills.
……Maybe that possibility was very high?
I thought they surely had some money, as there was someone dressed like a maid.
But it wouldn't be strange if it was a sister of one of my parents. It would be a normal thing for her to be cleaning.
I certainly wanted to start afresh, but living in a family that could not even afford to pay the bills made me very restless.
Part 3
Half a year passed by.
Listening to my parents' conversations during this last half-year, I had started to understand things bit by bit.
My English grades couldn't have been considered good, but it seems true that learning it can be quite a slow thing when heavily influenced by a native language. Or could it be that this body's mind was pretty good? Maybe it was because of my young age, but I could remember things quickly.
By this time, I was able to crawl.
Being able to move is a wonderful thing.
I had never felt such gratefulness for being able to move.
"He'll run somewhere else when I move my eyes away from him."
"Isn't it good that he's active? I was so worried when he didn't cry at all when he was born."
"Even now, he doesn't cry."
My parents had this discussion when they saw me crawling everywhere.
I was not at an age when I'd cry loudly when hungry, after all.
But even if I tried to hold it in, the stuff that comes from below would still leak out, so I just left things alone as they were.
Even though I could only crawl, once I did so, I understood a lot of things.
First of all, this family was relatively well off.
The building was a two-story wooden house, and there were over five rooms. They had one hired maid.
At first I thought the maid was my aunt or something, but her respectful attitude towards my parents made it seem she wasn't family.
The place was a village.
From the scenery I could see from the windows, it was in a tranquil landscape of farming plots.
The other houses were scattered around, and on one side of the wheat fields I could see two, three families.
It was quite a rural place. I could not see any electric wires, lamps, or anything similar. Perhaps there wasn't a generator nearby.
I had heard that foreign countries place their wires underground, but if that was the case, it was strange that this house did not have electricity.
It was too rural. It was painful for me who had been jostled by the wave of civilization.
Even if it was reincarnation, I still wanted to have a personal computer.
That way of thinking ended on a certain afternoon.
With nothing to do, I climbed up onto the chair as usual, intending to admire the field's scenery. When I looked out the window, I was shocked.
Father was waving around a sword in the courtyard.
(Wha, huh? What is he doing?)
My dad is still waving that thing at his age? Chuunibyou?
(Ah, crap…)
Due to the shock, I fell down from the chair.
My undeveloped hands grabbed the chair, but they were unable to support my body and the heavier back of my head hit the ground first.
"Kyaa!"
I heard a scream just as I hit the floor.
My mother spotted me and dropped the washed laundry, her hands over her mouth, looking over me with a deathly pale face.
"Rudi! Are you okay!?"
My mother rushed over to me in a panic and carried me up.
She looked me in the eyes and placed her hand on her chest, looking relieved
"……Phew, you seem fine."
(Madam, it's better not to move someone after their head just received a blow,) I reminded her in my heart.
From her anxious attitude, it seemed I had fallen in quite the dangerous manner.
It seemed possible that I might become an idiot due to the knock on my head. Not that that would be any different.
There was a throbbing pain on the back of my head. At least grabbing the chair with my hands had lowered my velocity.
As my mother's reaction didn't seem panicky I assumed there wasn't any blood. It was probably just a swelling.
Mother took a careful look at my head.
Her expression seemed to say, if there's an injury it'll be serious.
Finally, she placed her hand on my head,
"To be safe…… Let the power of God be converted into a bountiful crop, and bestowed unto those who have lost the strength to stand once more, 『HEALING』"
I nearly burst out, "Hey, hey, is this this country's [Pain, pain, go away quick]?"
Or was it that, along with my sword-wielding father, my mother was also a chuunibyou?
A warrior and cleric's wedding?
Just when I was thinking that.
My mother's hand emitted a dim light, and, in an instant, my pain disappeared.
(…… Eh?)
"See, it's okay now. After all, your mum was a renowned adventurer, " my mother said in a boastful manner.
I was instantly plunged into confusion.
Sword, warrior, adventurer, healing, chanting, cleric. All these terms echoed in my head.
What was that just now? What did she just do?
"What's wrong?"
My father looked in the window from outside when he heard my mother's scream.
His whole body was sweaty as he had just been swinging his sword.
"Listen to me, dear. Rudi actually climbed on top of a chair……and nearly got gravely injured."
"Well well, it's not good if a boy isn't active."
A slightly worried mother, and a father who didn't treat it like a big deal and placated her.
This is a commonly seen event.
But, my mother didn't back off, perhaps because of the back of my head hitting the ground first.
"Just a moment, dear. This child isn't even a year old. Would you worry a little more!"
"Despite that, a child is meant to grow up falling down to become sturdy. This way he will become healthy. Besides, even if he's injured, can't you just treat him?"
"But I'm really worried, I keep thinking of him getting heavily injured and me being unable to treat him……"
"He'll be fine."
My dad said that and embraced her tightly.
My mum's face turned red.
"I was worried when he didn't cry at all in the beginning, but if he's so naughty, he will surely be fine……"
My dad kissed my mum.
Hey, hey, you're showing this to me on purpose right? Both of you!
Later on the two of them put me in the next room to sleep, moved on to the second floor, and started in on the task of making me siblings.
Even if the two of you go to the second floor, I can still hear the nyan nyan noises, damn successful offline people…
(But, magic huh……)
Part 4
Later on, I started paying attention to the conversations between my parents and the maid.
And then I heard a lot of terms not in my vocabulary.
Especially the names of countries, districts, and various other locations.
Some proper nouns I had never heard before.
Maybe this place is……
No, I was certain of it.
This wasn't Earth, but some other world.
A different world that has swords and magic in it.
At this moment, I had a flash of inspiration.
……If it's this world, perhaps even I can achieve it.
If it's a world of swords and magic, a world deviated from my previous life and what I know as common sense, perhaps I can do it.
To live like a normal person, to work hard like a normal person, to be able to climb back up if I fell down, to live my life fully.
I had been full of regret when I died in my previous life.
Dying full of burning restlessness over my impotence and the fact that I had accomplished nothing.
But the me who experienced all that,
Having retained the knowledge and experiences of my previous life, perhaps I could really do it.
Part 1
Lilia was once a guards-maid for Asura's concubines.
A guards-maid is a maid who is also a guard.
Guards-maids will usually do a maid's job, but if anything happens, they will take up a sword to protect their master.
Lilia faithfully accomplished her duty. As far as her work as a maid is concerned, there were no complaints.
But as a sword fighter, her ability is average, a dime a dozen.
And thus, she got careless in a battle against an assassin who targeted a newly-born princess, and she got injured in the leg by the enemy's dagger.
The dagger was coated with poison that was specifically meant to kill royalty.
There was no detoxification or healing magic that was capable of treating such a calamitous poison.
The wound was immediately treated, and she survived thanks to her doctors trying a variety of methods to cure her, but there were side effects that lingered.
There was no problem caused to her everyday life, but she could never run or stomp again.
The kingdom then sacked her without hesitation.
It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, and Lilia accepted this fate herself.
Having lost her abilities, it was a given that she'd lose her position.
Even though she wasn't given compensation money, she considered it fortunate that she wasn't secretly silenced because she served in the inner palace.
Lilia then left the capital.
The mastermind behind the assassination attempt wasn't found.
Having understood the rules of the concubines' staff, she knew there was a possibility she might become the next target.
Perhaps the palace let Lilia wander to leave to lure out the mastermind.
She always wondered why she, who had no significant background, had been accepted in the inner palace. It was now that she finally understood; they simply wanted to hire maids who could be used and discarded.
No matter the reason however, she had to leave the capital as quickly as possible, for her own safety.
Even though the kingdom treated her as bait, she had no obligation to stay as she was not ordered to in any way.
And she had no sense of duty to fulfill.
Lilia discreetly switched stagecoaches while traveling, and arrived at the Fedoa region, which had extensive agricultural lands and was located at the border.
It was a relaxing place of vast wheat fields, with the exception of the fortress city Roa, where the ruler lived.
Lilia intended to find work there.
But, as her leg was injured, she was unable to find a job that required physical strength.
She could resort to teaching swordsmanship, but it was best for her to be hired as a maid, because the salary was higher.
At this border, there were many who could wield a sword, and many who could teach swordsmanship, but a maid thoroughly versed in domestic affairs was relatively rare.
Since the supply was so little, the salary would be bigger.
However, it would be dangerous for her to be hired by the ruler of Fedoa, or any high class noblity of similar status…
Such people would surely have relations with the king.
If they knew she was a maid who once worked for the concubines palace, there was the possibility that she would be treated as a political tool.
And for that reason, Lilia stayed far away.
She didn't want to experience a near-death situation again.
Even though it was a little unfair to the princess, Lilia hoped to stay far away from the royals' contention for power.
But, if her salary was too low then there wouldn't be enough money to send to her family.
Trying to find a safe job and a guaranteed salary sure wasn't easy.
Part 2
After running around everywhere for nearly a month, Lilia came across a recruitment note.
A lower class knight from Buina village, located in the Fedoa region, was looking to hire a maid.
On the top of that, the note said he would give special priority to someone with experience in taking care of children or who had knowledge of midwifery.
Buina was a tiny village on the edge of Fedoa.
A village among villages. An extremely rural village.
It was very inconvenient, but this was the place that she sought.
The employer being a lower class knight was also an unexpectedly fine find.
And most importantly, she recognized the prospective employer's name.
Paul Greyrat.
He was Lilia's protégé.
A noble's profligate son, who on one day, suddenly barged into the dojo where Lilia was learning swordsmanship.
According to him, he had left home after a quarrel with his father, and had come to the dojo to learn swordsmanship.
Albeit a different style, he too did study swordsmanship at home, and soon after, surpassed Lilia.
Lilia was not amused by this fact, but she had since understood that she had no talent, and gave up.
Paul, who was utterly brimming with talent, was later banished from the dojo after making a mistake.
He only left Lilia a single sentence, "I'm becoming an adventurer."
A man like a tempest.
It was 7 years since they went their separate ways.
At that time, he had actually become a knight and gotten married…
Though she didn't know what sort of hurdles he had experienced in his life, Paul wasn't a bad guy as far as Lilia could remember.
If she told him about her problems, she was sure that he would help her.
If that didn't work out, then she would just mention some past events.
There were a few things she could use to negotiate.
Having contemplated all these factors, she headed to Buina.
Paul employed Lilia without any fuss.
It seemed he was really anxious as his wife Zenith was about to give birth.
Lilia had been taught extensively in midwifery for the princess's birth. Moreover, she was someone that Paul was acquainted with and he knew her background.
Lilia was received with a warm welcome.
Her salary was also more than what she had expected, so her wish was achieved.
Part 3
The child was born.
There weren't any labor issues or anything. It went just as she was trained for in the inner palace.
There were no problems at all. It was very successful.
However, the child didn't cry when he was born.
Lilia broke into a cold sweat.
The baby drew out amniotic fluids immediately after he was born, but he merely lifted his head up without any emotion, and made no sound.
The expressionless face was reminiscent of a stillborn child.
Lilia touched the baby, and he had a heartbeat. He was breathing too.
But he just wasn't crying.
Lilia remembered the words of a senior guards-maid.
That babies who don't cry at birth usually have complications.
The instant when she thought of this.
"Ah, ah." The baby looked over to her, and mumbled something in his grogginess.
Lilia relaxed after hearing that.
Even though there was no evidence for it, she felt that there would be no problems.
Part 4
The child's name was to be Rudeus.
He was an uncanny child, never crying or fussing. At first, she assumed his body was slightly weaker, and that taking care of him wouldn't require much effort.
But, such a notion only occurred at the beginning.
After Rudeus learned how to crawl, he started to move everywhere in the house.
Everywhere in the house. Kitchen, back door, storage, cleaning equipment place, fireplace…… etc.
He even climbed onto the second story, though one couldn't imagine how he did so.
Either way, he would disappear whenever nobody kept an eye on him.
But, he would always be found somewhere in the house.
Rudeus never left the house.
He would occasionally look outside the windows, but it seemed that he was still scared to go outdoors.
Lilia was instinctively afraid of this baby, and one had to wonder when it began.
It was probably the moments when she found him after his disappearances.
Most of the time, Rudeus would be smiling.
Sometimes he'd be looking at the vegetables, staring at the flickering candle flames, or just looking at panties that were yet to be washed.
Rudeus mumbled sounds and showed a smile that made people feel simply disgusted.
It was a smile that naturally disgusted people.
When Lilia was working in the inner palace, she'd had to go to the main palace for her missions, and the higher ranked officials nobles that she met there had similar smiles.
They were bald, had pudgy bellies, and were leering at her when they stared at her breasts. Very similar to a baby that was born not long ago.
It was exceptionally scary when she had to carry Rudeus.
His nostrils would flare, the corners of his mouth would rise, and his breathing hastens as he buried his face into her chest.
And then he would make strange noises, "Huuu" and "Orhhh", seemingly laughing as he made these sounds.
At that instant, Lilia's whole body was dominated by a terrible shivering cold.
And she has the urge to throw the baby and smash him into the ground.
This baby was not cute in any way. That smile caused fear in others.
It was the same smile the high ranking officials had when they bought many young female slaves.
He was supposed to be a baby who was just been born.
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«Mushoku Tensei (Web Novel) - Volume 1 Chapter 2 — Expressionless Maid
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9798 • 2018-03-30 03:13:10
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Volume 1 Chapter 2 - Expressionless Maid
Part 1
Lilia was once a guards-maid for Asura's concubines.
A guards-maid is a maid who is also a guard.
Guards-maids will usually do a maid's job, but if anything happens, they will take up a sword to protect their master.
Lilia faithfully accomplished her duty. As far as her work as a maid is concerned, there were no complaints.
But as a sword fighter, her ability is average, a dime a dozen.
And thus, she got careless in a battle against an assassin who targeted a newly-born princess, and she got injured in the leg by the enemy's dagger.
The dagger was coated with poison that was specifically meant to kill royalty.
There was no detoxification or healing magic that was capable of treating such a calamitous poison.
The wound was immediately treated, and she survived thanks to her doctors trying a variety of methods to cure her, but there were side effects that lingered.
There was no problem caused to her everyday life, but she could never run or stomp again.
The kingdom then sacked her without hesitation.
It wasn't an uncommon occurrence, and Lilia accepted this fate herself.
Having lost her abilities, it was a given that she'd lose her position.
Even though she wasn't given compensation money, she considered it fortunate that she wasn't secretly silenced because she served in the inner palace.
Lilia then left the capital.
The mastermind behind the assassination attempt wasn't found.
Having understood the rules of the concubines' staff, she knew there was a possibility she might become the next target.
Perhaps the palace let Lilia wander to leave to lure out the mastermind.
She always wondered why she, who had no significant background, had been accepted in the inner palace. It was now that she finally understood; they simply wanted to hire maids who could be used and discarded.
No matter the reason however, she had to leave the capital as quickly as possible, for her own safety.
Even though the kingdom treated her as bait, she had no obligation to stay as she was not ordered to in any way.
And she had no sense of duty to fulfill.
Lilia discreetly switched stagecoaches while traveling, and arrived at the Fedoa region, which had extensive agricultural lands and was located at the border.
It was a relaxing place of vast wheat fields, with the exception of the fortress city Roa, where the ruler lived.
Lilia intended to find work there.
But, as her leg was injured, she was unable to find a job that required physical strength.
She could resort to teaching swordsmanship, but it was best for her to be hired as a maid, because the salary was higher.
At this border, there were many who could wield a sword, and many who could teach swordsmanship, but a maid thoroughly versed in domestic affairs was relatively rare.
Since the supply was so little, the salary would be bigger.
However, it would be dangerous for her to be hired by the ruler of Fedoa, or any high class noblity of similar status…
Such people would surely have relations with the king.
If they knew she was a maid who once worked for the concubines palace, there was the possibility that she would be treated as a political tool.
And for that reason, Lilia stayed far away.
She didn't want to experience a near-death situation again.
Even though it was a little unfair to the princess, Lilia hoped to stay far away from the royals' contention for power.
But, if her salary was too low then there wouldn't be enough money to send to her family.
Trying to find a safe job and a guaranteed salary sure wasn't easy.
Part 2
After running around everywhere for nearly a month, Lilia came across a recruitment note.
A lower class knight from Buina village, located in the Fedoa region, was looking to hire a maid.
On the top of that, the note said he would give special priority to someone with experience in taking care of children or who had knowledge of midwifery.
Buina was a tiny village on the edge of Fedoa.
A village among villages. An extremely rural village.
It was very inconvenient, but this was the place that she sought.
The employer being a lower class knight was also an unexpectedly fine find.
And most importantly, she recognized the prospective employer's name.
Paul Greyrat.
He was Lilia's protégé.
A noble's profligate son, who on one day, suddenly barged into the dojo where Lilia was learning swordsmanship.
According to him, he had left home after a quarrel with his father, and had come to the dojo to learn swordsmanship.
Albeit a different style, he too did study swordsmanship at home, and soon after, surpassed Lilia.
Lilia was not amused by this fact, but she had since understood that she had no talent, and gave up.
Paul, who was utterly brimming with talent, was later banished from the dojo after making a mistake.
He only left Lilia a single sentence, "I'm becoming an adventurer."
A man like a tempest.
It was 7 years since they went their separate ways.
At that time, he had actually become a knight and gotten married…
Though she didn't know what sort of hurdles he had experienced in his life, Paul wasn't a bad guy as far as Lilia could remember.
If she told him about her problems, she was sure that he would help her.
If that didn't work out, then she would just mention some past events.
There were a few things she could use to negotiate.
Having contemplated all these factors, she headed to Buina.
Paul employed Lilia without any fuss.
It seemed he was really anxious as his wife Zenith was about to give birth.
Lilia had been taught extensively in midwifery for the princess's birth. Moreover, she was someone that Paul was acquainted with and he knew her background.
Lilia was received with a warm welcome.
Her salary was also more than what she had expected, so her wish was achieved.
Part 3
The child was born.
There weren't any labor issues or anything. It went just as she was trained for in the inner palace.
There were no problems at all. It was very successful.
However, the child didn't cry when he was born.
Lilia broke into a cold sweat.
The baby drew out amniotic fluids immediately after he was born, but he merely lifted his head up without any emotion, and made no sound.
The expressionless face was reminiscent of a stillborn child.
Lilia touched the baby, and he had a heartbeat. He was breathing too.
But he just wasn't crying.
Lilia remembered the words of a senior guards-maid.
That babies who don't cry at birth usually have complications.
The instant when she thought of this.
"Ah, ah." The baby looked over to her, and mumbled something in his grogginess.
Lilia relaxed after hearing that.
Even though there was no evidence for it, she felt that there would be no problems.
Part 4
The child's name was to be Rudeus.
He was an uncanny child, never crying or fussing. At first, she assumed his body was slightly weaker, and that taking care of him wouldn't require much effort.
But, such a notion only occurred at the beginning.
After Rudeus learned how to crawl, he started to move everywhere in the house.
Everywhere in the house. Kitchen, back door, storage, cleaning equipment place, fireplace…… etc.
He even climbed onto the second story, though one couldn't imagine how he did so.
Either way, he would disappear whenever nobody kept an eye on him.
But, he would always be found somewhere in the house.
Rudeus never left the house.
He would occasionally look outside the windows, but it seemed that he was still scared to go outdoors.
Lilia was instinctively afraid of this baby, and one had to wonder when it began.
It was probably the moments when she found him after his disappearances.
Most of the time, Rudeus would be smiling.
Sometimes he'd be looking at the vegetables, staring at the flickering candle flames, or just looking at panties that were yet to be washed.
Rudeus mumbled sounds and showed a smile that made people feel simply disgusted.
It was a smile that naturally disgusted people.
When Lilia was working in the inner palace, she'd had to go to the main palace for her missions, and the higher ranked officials nobles that she met there had similar smiles.
They were bald, had pudgy bellies, and were leering at her when they stared at her breasts. Very similar to a baby that was born not long ago.
It was exceptionally scary when she had to carry Rudeus.
His nostrils would flare, the corners of his mouth would rise, and his breathing hastens as he buried his face into her chest.
And then he would make strange noises, "Huuu" and "Orhhh", seemingly laughing as he made these sounds.
At that instant, Lilia's whole body was dominated by a terrible shivering cold.
And she has the urge to throw the baby and smash him into the ground.
This baby was not cute in any way. That smile caused fear in others.
It was the same smile the high ranking officials had when they bought many young female slaves.
He was supposed to be a baby who was just been born.
Lilia felt unbearable discomfort, and even experienced feelings of peril when she thought things over.
This baby was very strange. Could there be that there was something bad possessing it? Or perhaps it was something similar, like a curse.
Having thought this through, she started to feel extremely anxious.
She went to the item shop, and spent the pitiful amount of money that she had to buy some necessary things.
When the Greyrats went to sleep, she did her home's ritual to chase evil away.
Of course, this was kept from Paul and his family.
The second day, after carrying Rudeus again, Lilia understood.
It was useless.
And he was still as disgusting as usual. It was eerie that a baby would show such an expression.
Zenith said, "When feeding this baby milk, he will lick…"
This had become just outrageous.
Paul had no restraint when it came to women, but never did he become disgusting to this extent.
This was too strange to be dismissed as hereditary.
Lilia remembered again.
She had heard of a story in the palace.
In the past, an Asuran prince was possessed by a demon. To revive that demon, he would crawl around on his limbs every night.
And when an unsuspecting maid hugged him, the prince stabbed her with a knife hidden behind him, killing her.
It was too scary.
Is Rudeus something like that?
There was no doubt. He was that kind of devil.
He's still obedient for now, but one day he'll awaken, and when everyone is asleep, one by one he'll……
Ahh……It's too early, too early to decide this. I shouldn't have taken this job.
"I'll get attacked sooner or later.
……Lilia was a person who seriously believed in such superstition.
Part 5
During the first year of her work, she was still afraid of him.
But she didn't notice when Rudeus' unpredictable movements started to change.
He didn't disappear as and when he wanted, and usually stayed in Paul's study on the second floor.
Speaking of the study, it was just a room with a few books.
Rudeus stayed there without leaving. Lilia secretly observed him, and found him mumbling to himself while reading a book.
It was a meaningless mumble.
Or was supposed to be, at least, for it wasn't a commonly used language in the Central continents.
It was still too early for him to be learning how to talk. Of course, he had yet to be taught alphabets.
He was just an infant looking at a book and making random sounds.
Or else it would be just too strange.
Lilia always had the feeling that those sounds carried meaning and structure.
Rudeus seemed to understand the contents of the book.
It was too frightening……Lilia always thought that, when she observed Rudeus from the gap in the door jamb.
However, she never felt disgusted with him for some inexplicable reason.
Come to think of it, that unknown source of discomfort gradually disappeared from the moment he confined himself to that room.
Though he occasionally showed his disgusting smile while she carried him, it didn't feel unpleasant.
He wouldn't bury his face into her chest, and he wouldn't suddenly pant.
Why had she always found him scary?
Recently, she began to feel that he was sincere and hardworking, and didn't want to disrupt him.
Zenith seemed to share her sentiments.
After that, Lilia felt that not to care for him was better.
It was an idea that went against common sense.
In fact, it was abnormal for human beings not to care for a child that was born not long ago.
But recently there were signs of knowledge in Rudeus' eyes.
He showed only "chikan" eyes a few months back, but at this point, there was a strong will and dazzling knowledge in them.
What should she do? Even though she had knowledge of taking care of children, the inexperienced Lilia found it hard to discern.
She couldn't remember whether it was her guards-maid senpai or her mother back in her hometown who said this, that there was no one correct way to bring up a child.
At the very least, she no longer felt disgusted, uncomfortable, or frightened.
So she decided it was best not to disturb him, and let him revert back to how he was originally.
--Let's just leave him as he is.
Lilia finally concluded.
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