Hello!

If you read this story, skip to the title: **1. Happy Ending. We just renewed / remake the story. It would be more exciting! **

^^^Love, ^^^

^^^darkcocoa^^^

The room buzzed with excited chatter and children ran between the tables. Then the bride and groom entered, applause spread across the room. There was the scraping of chairs as folks got up for a standing ovation and the happy couple made their way to the head table, smiling and holding hands.

“Welcome everyone, and thank you for being here to celebrate Jason and Alana's love!”

“Now, let us Pray…. Heavenly Father we are here on this day to give thanks for the love you have shared with these two individuals. We ask that you help Jason and Alana to always remember when they first met and to remember the strong love that grew between them. To work that love into practical things so that nothing divides them. Please help them find words both kind and loving and hearts, always ready to ask for forgiveness as well as able to forgive. Father, we put this marriage in your hands. Amen.”

“Do you take Jason Jaya to be your husband and other half, to take care of him and cherish your relationship? To love him today, tomorrow, and forever? To always be open, honest, and faithful to him. Do you take him to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto him for as long as you both shall live?”

“I DO” I can’t hide a smile, today is the best day of my life. I’d like to scream out loud but I have to hold myself. I have to behave, today I am the Queen of the aisle, so I have to stay cool. STAY COOL ALANA.

“Do you take Alana Wang to be your wife and better half, to take care of her and cherish your relationship? To love her today, tomorrow, and forever? To always be open, honest, and faithful to her. Do you take her to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for richer or poorer, keeping yourself unto her for as long as you both shall live?”

I held the bouquet ready for the ceremony, my hands are twinged with sweat. I’m nervous. Incredibly so. My heart beats fast like a runner on a track.

“I DO” Jason answered, there’s a big smile across his face.

“I pronounce you Husband and Wife!”

“Jason, you may now kiss your bride”

Jason held my waist towards him, and we kissed. There were cheers, applauses and someone whooped. We both running through the aisle. I look at him at the eyes. There is something in those brown eyes that makes them so beautiful, so safe and warm. In just one look I know it is "home". The flowers entwined between my fingers. My face shone with excitement as I threw the bouquet above the crowd of ladies all ready for the catch. If someone catches the bouquet at a wedding, it typically means that they're the next person to get married. The bouquet falls to a woman with green baby –doll dress, it’s Jason’s secretary. All of them clapping their hands for Julia. She’s still single, I assume there must be a man after her. I’m so happy for her.

They say, marriage means both are permanently official. I’m happy that we both finally get married. We have faced through ups and down in relationship, Jason is a loyal and sincere boyfriend, never cheated on me even once. We have dated for 6 years. The love that had been so strong between me and Jason are locked tight behind ever growing wall of resentment, fear and fatigue. We prepared everything before we get married, Jason himself continues his father's company and I am pursuing my drawing as I am now a cartoon artist.

Our marriage life is perfect and beautiful. Until one day, in that sh*tty rainy day. My comic was rejected by the company, so I went home earlier.

I clenched my fist and hit my steering wheel “DAMN IT ! did he ask me to go home and fix my character ??? URGHHHH”

I moaned, really at the edge of my patience. The rain hasn’t stop, softly splashing water droplets hit the car as I drive onwards. The sky overhung a blanket of grey, so much so that I can barely tell the difference between the sky and the clouds. I watch the raindrops race down, and push the wipers to set the rain off my sight. I pull my brake and park my car outside our villa, right behind Jason’s car. I rushed inside the unlocked gate.

"Why Jason is so clumsy? What if some burglars jumped in and took everything out?" I mumbled as my hand busy rummaging my bag. The sky is roaring loud, rain starts soaking my head. I push the doorbell to call Jason out because I couldn't find my keys.

I peeped through the window “Damn it Jason, you are not in the living room?” he doesn't get used to get home so early without letting me know. Maybe he's asleep cause he's tired? But he doesn't go to bed so late yesterday. Arghhh, means I have to find the keys inside my bag, the bag that full of useless sh*ts. The rain is pouring too hard, I don’t want to soak my paperworks. I have been working for them for 2 months, late every night. I can't remember when the last time I got enough time to sleep.

Still hasn’t gave up, “Jason!” I yelled, knocking the door. NO ANSWER. My hands still busy rummaging my bag. I just want to get inside and let myself laying on the bed right now. I worked for 2 months drawing and the manager simply say “this is not what I wanted to see. I’m looking forward for the better version of Gina, the character of my comic”. Every word he spreads stung only fueling the fire that burned inside of me. I guess, I should just quit the company and start publishing my works online. I found the key and finally plugs them in. I take off my heels, checking my paperworks, some of them are soaking wet.

“URGHHH”

I can’t wait to see Jason, I want to hug him. I miss him so much ! I want to squeeze his cheeks and kiss them, or bite them. I rushed into the room “Jason ! I…”

I froze…

Jason is laying on top of a woman… when they saw me rushed inside the room without knocking, because this is our room so I don’t have to knock, they directly covered themselves with blanket, but I clearly saw their something stucked in each other. IT’S JULIA! She has resigned since 3 months ago.

Silence expanded for few seconds until I realize I have to slap either Julia or Jason. I threw my bag against Jason’s face and slap Julia really hard. I can’t believe he is betraying me for this b*tch. She held her cheeks, almost cry. I wish I could kill her, I raised my hand about to give her another smack, but the most painful, terrible, mortifying thing is…

“Stop Ana!” he said as he held my hand really tight, my husband, the cheater.

“She has my kid!” at that moment, I feel hurt in the chest which makes me barely breath, I can’t think clearly. Jason hugs Julia, covering her face, she is crying on his bare chest. I turn my body and walk away, this is so embarrassing, rejected by my own husband, a 11 –months marriage is at the edge of breaking –up. It is my tears that keep my soul alive in the furnace of this pain. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face. I feel the muscles of my chin tremble like a small child I walk towards the door letting the rain wash my body, as if the cold or the rain could soothe me. There is static in my head, the side effect of this constant fear, constant stress. It takes something out of me I didn't know I had left. That's the way it is when people are hard. It's like a theft of the spirit, an injury no other person can see. My body is soaking wet, I threw myself inside the car, leaning my chin on the steering –wheel, continue crying. Why… I thought Jason is the right choice. I punched the steering wheel several times until I feel sore on my hands.

At last, I rent an apartment for temporary and Vivi, my best friend come over to stay with me cause she was afraid I commit suicide. 3 days ago I moved my things out from that villa.

It’s the 2nd week since that incident, but I haven’t stop crying. The publishing manager called me 4 days in a row asking me either I still want to work or I could just leave the company, and I replied him “F*CK THE PAPERWORKS” instead.

I was drunk that time. I’ve been drinking dozens of alcohol through this week, but I still can’t forget those incidents, they are killing me slowly from the inside. They cannot extinguish what has been, yet only carry me forward until a time comes when that searing pain is distant enough to forget more than remember, and maybe one day erase itself from my brain. So perhaps it may be an oddity to thank my tears and be proud to cry, yet if that's what saves me from becoming a stupid ex –wife, a person indifferent to suffering and sorrow, then crying is the smartest thing I can do.

I signed the divorce agreement a day ago. At the same time, funny that I feel relieved, I feel lucky enough that I haven’t had his baby inside me, which means I still look like single although I am 24. I have nobody to tell, my dad died in car accident 10 years ago and my mom also died in car accident a year later.. See? I have nobody … I have no sisters or brothers. I am all alone. I first think I can count on him, but I was wrong.. I know Julia is much more prettier than me, she has a huge bo*bs, bigger butt, and tiny waist. Yes she is hotter than me, it sucks. Therefore, I cheat snacks at midnight oftenly, mostly when I was working on my comic. I'm the worst.

When the night comes, I just stare at the window, watching the city shone by the moonlight. With you no longer here, sleep becomes a fleeting chore. I wrestle at nights with the dark and the light trying to find comfort from either side but most times I lost myself. I become content with sleepless nights where I find comfort in my thoughts and

memories of the past. I’m suffering, I want to escape, but I can’t. I’m still trapped.

In the other day, which is the 1st month after I signed the divorce agreement, Jason compensates me with a big amount of money for once. So I could live up this life or either make my own business with that money. What a scum. Who do you think you are? I threw the paper away as I saw a silhouette of a tall woman walking towards me.

“Well, it’s better than not at all Ana, remember.. because you have no kid” Vivi implied as she threw the beer’s *bottle to the trash. “And stop drinking this f*cking beer!” glaring at me.

I shrug my shoulders and pout, “Vivi.. I don’t know what to do…” I think I’m getting better, even though I still stinks and ugly at the same time, my eyebags are going darker almost pitch black. I look like a woman with mascara soaked wet until it makes me look like shadowing my under –eyes.

Vivi stood beside me as I sat by the dining table, she leaned her hand on the table, as I can see her beautiful body curves like a cello with her tidy shirts all button –up, which makes her ****** looks bigger. She has every man’s eyes on her.

“Take his money, buy a house, a new car, and your drawing equipments! Make your own money already!!” Vivi raised her voice, slamming her hand on the table, tired of me being pathetic.

“Do you have a friend? An architect?” I lifted an eyebrow. She sighs and nods her head at the same time.

A white Mercedes –Benz stopped to the drop off. The window slid down as I can see Vivi tilting her sunglasses and say “You ready sist?”

“Of course I am” I pulled the handle and threw myself inside. “Let’s meet the architect” I added, I am so excited! I always wanted to have a house of my own, the small.. the minimalist one... with dusty pink shades of design.

Vivi pulled her brake as we arrived in front of the white exterior café with blinking LED lights written “MIAMI CAFÉ” in dark blue calligraphy. We walk inside as the waiter by the entrance greets us “Good afternoon” and lead us seated on empty table. Today we are making an appointment with the architect, which is Vivi’s manager son.

I lifted my head observing the café, the designer is very genius, combining light blue and monochrome in one design, they seemed modern and wide which make it become so cozy. The design of the café has a side wall painted in monochrome, the other side is light blue with calligraphy brush quoted “Love is Sweet Please Take a Treat” then another wall in checkered pattern.

I narrowed my eyes…the monochrome checkered pattern…. there’s something weird, something triggered me... the place seems spinning around, my vision blurred, like some kind of dizziness that I’ve never felt, I can barely feel my body, then everything went black.

I opened my eyes slowly, everything is blur, I saw a checkered painted wall in front of me “Are you okay?” a sobbing woman’s voice echoing in the room, she has a long black hair and running towards me, shaking my shoulders.. “Ana!” she yelled, “Ana! please!”.

“Ana ….” That woman’s voice .. like they are calling me from the deep deep nowhere, somewhere in the dark, I don’t even know where am I. I can barely move my mouth, like it was locked since the start. My body froze… everything is like nightmare to me…

Telephone’s ring echoing inside my ears, the busy chatters filling the room, as soon as I opened my eyes, everything becomes normal. I tilted my head looking at Vivi beside me, biting her long fingernails, her long black hair is tied in ponytail. Soon as she saw me moving my hand, she stood up and hold my hand very tight “Ana ! Oh God ! I was so worried !”

My head is still heavy “What happened to me?” I asked. “What the hell am I doing here?” I whip out the injections on my hand, frowned in depression, my head still hurts…

Vivi widened her eyes, squeezing my hand “You fainted ! You worry me to hell !!”

Now she looks really angry.

“So, what are they injecting me right now?” I lifted hand, showing her my wrist with IV –line injected into my skin.

“It’s a vitamin hell what I don’t know” Vivi shrugged her shoulders and raised her voice, “I know nothing about hospital Ana, OH COME ON !” she moaned.

“Well, then….. At least I am still alive !” I grinned.

“Yea yea up to you” rolling her eyes on me.

A man with long white coat came in, “Miss Vivi” he spoke as he read the white paper he held since he came in, “Yes?” Vivi turned her head towards the doctor. “Can we talk?” the doctor said. Vivi tilted her head towards me, lifting her palm as she asked me to wait, I can see that terrifying expression on her face, she’s masking it with a

poor “everything is fine” expression.

***

Vivi didn’t say anything to me, although the doctor talked so long with her outside the room. Okay, but I don’t care, I am okay, if I have cancer, Vivi might have told me, to let me pay the hospital bill with Jason’s money.

I clicked the seatbelt on, “So, how about the architect?” I asked. The most important thing is my new home right now, cause I can’t wait too long, I’m sick of the boring apartment, even though it’s kinda pricey, but it still boring, I hate it.

Vivi paused, turning her head towards me, glaring “Are you kidding me Ana?” seems pissed –off. I lifted an eyebrow “What? Did I do wrong to you?”

“Don’t be a b*tch Ana, let’s head home and get some rest!” she threw he gaze away, she doesn’t dare to look at me at the eyes. I start assuming things, maybe I have cancer?

I grew up as someone who afraid of death, but right after the divorce thing happened to me. I never scared of the death anymore. I live for no one, I am alone and no one would be sad if I am gone. So I don't really care about it.

I sighed, at the same time I gaze through the passing building.

Nevermind, I don’t care. I’m not afraid of the death.

“Alright Alright Grandma up to you”

She sent me home.

***

Early in the morning,

My phone beeped, Vivi’s text message popped up.

“Hey! Can’t reach you and the architect today, I’ve cancelled the appointment, my manager sends me out of town for 2 weeks. Gonna set another appointment when I came back. See ya ! Be a good kid ! love you !”

I went back and forth with crossed arms, “URGHHHH” I moaned,

“I can’t wait to see the architect, Vivi just went out of town all in sudden”

Which means I have to wait for another 2 weeks. I can’t wait that long…really… I’m getting bored of these wooden apartment design, they are making me sick! URGH… I tilted my head gazing at my macbook standing on the kitchen.

“Guess, I’m gonna find it myself” I smirked.

“Architect” I typed.

There’s a list of famous Architect from the first until the last, I scroll down through the screen trying to find the one who has the most handsome profile picture. Number 9, can’t see his face clearly, he has his picture posted in full body, but he seemed tall, he has long legs.

I clicked the picture by then it brought me to his profile information.

Andrea, 24 years old. Graduated from ARH Architecture Institute with GPA 4.

He has a tidy navy suits on his profile picture, he is the youngest among the 10 best listed architect in town from the internet.

I click the Whatsapp logo and it brings me to the application, directing me to a chat room with the same profile picture he has on the internet.

I type “Hi”

Simple yet awkward.

I glanced at the digital clock on my bedside table, the numbers 10.35 glowing in yellow. I stretched my arms up to the air, yawning cause I feel pretty exhausted, I’ve just finished my comic today. I have less pressure working on my own, I only need to create a manga, the storyline, and wait it approved by the digital staff, how easy.

I lay on the bed, pulling the blanket to my neck, then my macbook beeped, I turned my head and walking towards my desk. The Whatsapp message replied by Andrea.

“Hi, may I help you?”

I pulled the chair, sit and start typing.

“I was about to build a minimalist house for myself. Could you help me? Can we meet and discuss?”

Ughh, It must be awkward.

beep

Another text message.

“Okay, where? When?”

I reply him, “Tomorrow noon. 12.30, K –pokki”

*I was craving for tteokbokki* since last week. Another beep “Okay, see you” popped up from my screen. I ignored the message and go to sleep.

(*Tteokbokki (Korean: 떡볶이) is a Korean traditional food which has sticks of rounded rice cake as the main ingredient)

***

My car lurched stop, I parked my car in front of the café, clicking my seatbelt off and bring myself out from the car. I lifted my hand, my watch is ticking to 12.25. I hope he arrives soon cause I’m starving since morning, I mean afternoon. I woke up at 11 and has no enough time to take a breakfast, I mean there’s no use for me to take a breakfast since I woke up in the afternoon. Remember Ana, don’t create your own worst impression on the first meeting with a handsome duded, HAH!

I pushed the entrance as it jingles, the waiters and waitress greet me with warm smile and say “annyeong haseyo” means Hello in Korean.

I give them a thin smile and walk in, looking for an empty table. A man in the corner with his laptop keep staring at me since I arrived, I threw my gaze away, pretending I didn’t see him at all.

I put my bag on the chair and at the same time the waiter delivers the menu. I told him I am waiting for someone, so I ordered an ice tea instead.

It’s been 30 minutes long. WHAT KIND OF ARCHITECT IS HE? WHERE THE HELL HE LEARN THAT MANNER?

I feel hollow and lightheaded, my stomach growled. I rest my arm on the table, rubbing my forehead as I stare at my phone written 12.55 on the lock screen.

The same guy earlier still sitting on his table, with a cup of hot tea beside his laptop, he looks like waiting for someone. He is typing very quickly, his eyes focus on the screen. Somehow he looks like the architect’s profile picture. I stared for quiet long time until he turned his head looking back at me. I’m startled, as I pretend that I am looking at the window beside his table.

Should I call him? By phone to make sure?

I stare at his profile picture on my phone and at the man for several times. I decided to call him.

tralalala trililili tralala trilili

His phone is ringing, he lifted his phone then tilted his head towards me holding my phone with questioning expression. It’s him! Which means, he has been waiting for more than 30 minutes. Then he stood up and moved his laptop to my table. He slammed the laptop close and rest his hand on the table with eyebrow lifted.

“You…are …Alana Wang?” from his eyes, he seems familiar. How.. How… does he know me?

I write my name Poppy with no profile picture in Whatsapp application, cause I prefer faking my name.

“I..am… Poppy?” I frowned.

This is so confusing.

He snorted a laugh, “So… you don’t remember me” he lifted his hand waiting for me to shake, I lift mine. His long fingers are smooth, his palm is warm and gentle. He shook my hand firmly, “I am Andrea” he smiles, the smile that seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me. I admit it, he so freaking hot.

“I…am…Alana…” I smile sheepishly, somehow I reacted that way. I can’t control myself since he is pretty good –looking.

“So, Miss Alana. What would you like to do with your house? Do you have the details?” Andrea lifted the laptop lid to open up and start typing as he peep me through the upper side of his screen.

“Actually they have built the house ready and I just want to renovate the interiors”

“Do you have the picture of them?”

“I have” I unlock my phone and scroll through my gallery to find the picture of the house.

***

TING TONG TING TONG TING TONG TING TONG

I moaned and arise from my bed. “WHO’S THERE?”

“I AM VIVI !!” voice of a female dragon ready to blow fire, I bet Vivi must be angry cause I made my own decision before letting her know. OH DAMN. I shall cover my ears.. I unlock the door as Vivi was standing with her big eyes glaring at me, “You didn’t say anything!” she pointed right in front of my eye.

“Vivi, I can’t wait that long.. you are 2 weeks out of town”

Vivi rushed in, she took off her heels and dropped her bag beside them.

“Alright.. alright” Vivi took a deep breath, “I don’t f*cking care, the point is- you made me cancel the architect for twice !” she lifted her pointer and middle finger altogether, then she looked down counting her own fingers “EHH THREE TIMES !” she lifted her fingers. “And you are embarrassing me!”

She flared her nostrils. “And….my manager thought I am playing with his son!”

"Sorry?"

"SORRY?!" she raised her voice and clenched her teeth, "I'LL KILL YOU!!"

The bar is busy of conversations told in loud voices, most of them dancing with the rock music that dominates the atmosphere. The crowd is from young teenager like maybe in their 17th, students from the university for the most part and some adults like me in their 20 something. The bar curves into the room, dark in the barely lit room. Through the windows, the diamonds of lead panes, trickles the sallow light of street-lamps. Once it was of cigarette smoke only, the perfume that clung to clothing, skin and furniture alike but now it is stale beer and body cologne. I sat down on the empty bar while the bartender with white shirt that tight in his biceps come approaching me, "what would you like to order my lady?" his hands busy shaking the bottle of whatever it is."Cosmopolitan" I replied him, I am a Cosmopolitan Cocktail lover, mostly with it when I come over, I doubt he doesn’t know me or he is actually pretending to be cause I can see it from his eyes, he knows me, the bob –haired woman mostly alone in the bar sipping her pinky cocktail. How pathetic.

“Alana!” I turned my head as I heard a man calling out for my name, it’s Andrea, today he is in loose hypebeast t –shirt and black skinny ripped jeans. Looks pretty cool in casual, if I could say. I admire him too much.

“oh hey”

“areyou alone?” he asked.

“Nope, with my friend” I pointed with my thumb.

“ANDREA !” we both tilted our head towards a man waving his hands to call out for Andrea.

“Gotta go. See you soon, Ani” he taps my shoulder and disappear in the crowds.

"GOTTA GO. SEE YOU SOON, ANI"

The word -Ani echoing inside my head, the blurry sparks of memory bubbled in my head. The words that sound familiar to me. A man…..can’t see his face, waving his hand towards me saying “Gotta go! See you soon, Ani!” and walk away. My head hurts…again and again… I got weird memories since I fainted at the cafe. Alright Alana, you have cancer inside your brain.

Vivi poked my hip then sat beside me and twist the chair as she is now facing me with an arm leaning on the table.

"I saw you talking to a guy"

"umm" I mumbled, the bartender slid the cocktail towards me.

"yeah..he is the architect" I spoke as I touch side of the glass.

"waw, he is hot from behind, you gotta be kidding me"

I flicked hair over my shoulder and scrunches up my face in a way that means I'm thinking. That memory brings me curious. But Alana, you don’t f*ckin care. Okay, now…enjoy the bar, drink as much as you want. Then out of nowhere a tall Russian –guy come over and pokes Vivi on the shoulder, "a dance?" he asked.

“Albert!” she exclaimed, she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Vivi winked at me and disappear in the crowds holding Albert's arm.

The neon light flashed everywhere, people are screaming and dancing on the dance floor. The music was as loud as thunder, it made the cutlery on the tabletops rattle. I tilt the chair looking at the party people dancing with an arm rested on the bar, holding a glass of vodka cause I have finished my cocktail 10 minutes ago.

A shadow of a tall man standing beside me. I lift my head looking at him towering over me, its Andrea the architect. He came back.

"Andy?" I unconsciously called him with that name, it came out from my brain.

"You remember?" he widened his eyes. He looks pretty shocked. I shrugged my shoulders "I mean Andrea”.

Andrea's eyes popped up wide, he spaced out. I was confused at first, "I me-"

He snorted a laugh, okay this is awkward. He sat beside me facing the crowds, tilting his head towards me as I did the same, so we are staring at each other, like for few seconds. My heart

thumps, he says "Ani..I mean Alana, you..."

At the moment my vision blurred, I stormed out, blood pulsing, spinning headache that plays a clip,

"Ani" the word echoes, calling that name "Ani..."

"Ani..." the second thing I hear is my own heart beats.

"Ani..I'm sorry... it's all my fault" a man, crying. His face is not clearly seen, he is wearing a loose brown T-shirt and black jeans, he fell on his knees, kneeling as I am being pulled farther and farther away from him, then I saw the long –lamp shining above me, one by one past away in the pale green painted hallway.

"Hey! Alana !" Andrea held my arms.

My vision disappeared. The thumping disco music filling my ears. I lift my head, Andrea was looking at me with worried expression. I stood up and sit back on the bar, holding my head that still hurt a little.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I lifted my palm, "I'm okay. thanks"

I twisted the chair now I am facing the bartender, Andrea did the same, he crossed his arms on the table. I sip my vodka, at the same time I became curious,

"anyway.."

Andrea tilted his head, waiting for me to finish my word.

"How do you know me?" I finally got the urge to ask him, I was careless at first.

"mmm" he mumbles like 3 seconds .

He flared his nostrils, "classmate?" he continued, eyebrow lifted.

Yes, maybe he is just the invisible nerd guy in the classroom. That's the reason why I can't remember him.

"So.." he clears his throat

"how about your husband? not coming here?"

I sniffed a smile, "I divorced". OK, this is embarrassing but I look like a single young lady, maybe he would think the same right? I am still young..

He widened his eyes, looking unbelievable. “Really?”

"what do you mean?" he is surprised, and seems like doesn't trust me indeed.

"I mean…. I divorced" I shrug my shoulders.

He lifted his eyebrow, still not believe me. This is my personal life so I shouldn’t share it too much to a stranger like him or the invisible ex classmate like him to be specific. 

“Sorry” he clears his throat and gazing at the crowds.

Andrea sits next to me sipping his cocktail, enjoying the noisy music. But thing goes rough, I ended up taking too much since Vivi hasn’t come back and I just want to drink as much as I can, it was Andrea’s fault, he talked about Jason while I almost forget him. And Vivi, I don’t know whether she is still here or busy going to somewhere else flirting with those hot Russian dude. I don’t know.. I got drunk, I feel tired.. especially in the head, I feel like half melted ice cream. I stood up, leaving Andrea. All I need to do right now is go out and find Vivi or I could just order taxi to send me home. The harsh scent of drink can be smelt. They can see me struggling to keep my balance, and I know I’m struggling to keep it. It’s like some sort of outer body experience. My legs don’t work as I tell them. Neither do my hands. Or my fingers, or my head. Somewhere, deep inside I know my brain is sending signals telling me what to do. Whether or not my body is listening is a different story. I can feel it moving. It can feel it doing what it wants. Andrea reached me, holding my arms tight when I was about to fell off from my balance.

"Ani!" then he clears his throat, "Alana !" he rubbed his forehead, like he has done so terrible mistake just now. I don't understand why he became so familiar to me.

We are facing each other, somehow, I feel like crying, Jason’s face appeared in my head, his smile, his gentle hug, the love we shared for 6 years but ended up like this ….is horrible….

"you know ..." I touch his arm with my fingers gently then his chest and last his cheek, poking his cheek as I make a sound “pip”. I rest my head on his chest as I can hear his heart beating fast, is this Jason? I closed my eyes imagining him. EH ! NO THIS IS NOT JASON!

The vodka makes my heart beats faster, it echoes in my ears as the firing squad approached. It beat so loudly that it seemed to want to escape my chest, to flee the oncoming bullet. They counted down to their own demise as surely as a ticking bomb really to blew up.

"Jason cheated on me.." I sobs, tears streaming down like waterfalls, I wrap my arms around his shoulders. He stoned, staring at me without blinking.

"with a beautiful sexy sl*t, she is a hot b*tch with sexy ******" I held my ****** tight, he was a lil bit shocked when I did that.

"its...." I continue crying.

"his secretary...." and it became louder and louder. I sobbed hard on his chest, my shoulders are trembling.

"Let’s go home?" Andrea smiles, gently grab my hand. We went out to the exit then I brushed aside his hand…"I don’t want to go home..." I sit on the ground, pouting, crying like a kid asking for toy, some people outside the bar watching us playing the drama. I heard small chatters, like maybe they are talking about me but I don’t care. Andrea smiles, he is so calm and sweet. Then he squats down, gazing my eyes, with that peaceful expression, "do you need a ride ?" he asked.

A RIDE ? PIGGYBACK?

"a piggyback? Yes!" I exclaimed, stood up and get on his back, I leaned my head on his shoulder. The parking lot seemed far, I feel tired... can’t hold it any longer.. all I need is sleeping right now. I yawned, the only thing I remember before I fell asleep is, Andrea’s smile when he turned his head looking at me mumbling like a kid. I barely remember what did I say.. or do after I threw myself on the ground.

I awake to the steady patter of rain upon my window, droplets yet to scatter the nascent rays of rising sun, the sunshine slid through my white polkadots patterned curtains. The sound of the rain bring calmness to mind, a soothing natural lullaby that makes me hardly move from bed. My back is sore, my head hurts. What did I do yesterday?

A slash of memory of me talking to Andrea and he carried me on his back.

What? I sit straight on the bed, my brain is working hard, trying to remember the last

thing I did, I sit on the ground pouting at him I don’t know why.

Oh my Ana, you are so stupid. This is so embarrassing.

I groaned, ruffling my hair. Damn Alana!

My phone beeped for several times in repeat, I turned my head at my blinking phone screen on the bedside table. I reached my phone and scan my face id to unlock the screen.

"Ana"

"Ana"

"Ana"

"Ana"

"Ana"

"WHERE ARE YOU BTCH"

"YOU LEAVE ME"

Was sent yesterday midnight.

Today’s

"HEY"

"HEY"

"Ana"

"Ana"

"Ana"

"Ana"

"Ana"

"HEY"

"WAKE UP"

"HOOIIIIII"

I typed "Hey I just woke up" replied her, then another beeped.

"YOU! where did you go yesterday?"

"I don’t know I don’t remember"

"where are you?"

"home.That guy sent me home yesterday…I guess" is that? Or something happened to

me before I arrive here.

"who? that hottie? did you guys fck?"

"hell no Vivi. Don’t be a jerk. It’s Andrea anyway"

"ah…that hottie. What a shame. You didn’t f*ck"

"shut up. I need more rest bye"

I locked my phone and threw myself on the mattress, I remember..

The smile Andrea gave me yesterday... is familiar.. especially when he said

"do you need a ride?" with a big smile across his face, that sweet and gentle expressions…... Then, the word "piggyback" bubbling inside my head. piggyback........

My head hurts, another spinning session, I clenched my fist. piggyback piggyback echoing inside my head.

A man's lips with his big smile "do you need a ride?" The gentle and sweet touch of his strong arms.. my heart throbbing hard. "Erghhhhhh" I whimpered. My head hurts so bad.

I used to be so careless... I care nothing... as long as my life is okay.. but that slice of memories make me curious. What is happening to me ? What is that ? And what is going on with me recently ?

drrttt drrttt

tringggggg tringgg

My phone’s ringing, I feel less lightheaded, at least I can hear the ringtone clearly and my vision went back to normal. I stretched my arm to reach my phone,

"Hallo?" the man's voice, the gravelly calm, toneless, slightly hoarse.

"ha..haloo?" I replied.. I have no idea who is he. He sounds familiar.

"It's andrea" he chuckled

"ohh" no wonder he sounds familiar. I clear my throat.

"how are you doing ? getting better ?"

"ahh.." oh my god this is bad, I really went home with him! did we sleep? or fck? oh no I don’t remember anything. sht this is bad. Cold sweat rushing down my forehead.

"don’t be shock" he sniffed a smile

"we did nothing. I just carried you on my back, anyway I checked your ID card to make sure where you live but since you said you have divorced, I assume you have moved out, then I found your keys with the logo and the room number. I was lucky.. " he explained.

Oh genius, he recognized the tiny logo on the keychain and yes I tend to be so forgetful so I wrote down the room number on the keychain with my nail polish.

"th...thanks" I hardly move my tongue.

"it's fine"

"so.. I gotta goo..." I mumbled. I don’t feel like talking right now.

"yaps. see you next month? Gonna held another meeting with you since I have designed the whole room for you"

"right..next month ..  bye" I stuttered.

"bye" and I hung up.

***

"An-andrea?" Vivi stoned looking at her phone, somehow her heart beats so fast that it feels like exploading. Vivi's legs weakened, she quickly grab her couch and sat onto it before she collapsed.

"This is going to be hard" she whispered.