We were in the archive of the school library.

While arranging the books on those dusty shelves our duty as library committee members Sakura Yamauchi made an odd confession.

Though I was thinking of simply ignoring it, the only ones in the vicinity were her and myself.

Since talking to oneself would be a little bizarre, it must have been directed at me.

It couldn't be helped - I responded to her, who was facing another bookshelf with her back to mine.

"Have you suddenly been awakened to cannibalism?"

She took a large breath and promptly choked on some dust, coughing a few times to clear her throat.

Only then did she start to explain, her voice tinged with a sense of triumph.

I didn't turn to look at her.

"I saw it on TV yesterday - if someone in the past had a part of their body that wasn't well, they would eat the corresponding part of another animal."

"What about it?"

"Eat liver if your liver is unwell, eat stomach if your stomach is unwell - it seems they believed that doing so would cure their illness. That's why “ I want to eat your pancreas."

"Could it be that the your' you mentioned is referring to me"

"Who else could it be?"

She giggled without looking my way, seemingly engaged in her work. I could hear the slam and rustle of hardcover books being arranged.

"My little organ could never bear the burden of something like saving you."

"Seems like the pressure's starting to make your stomach hurt, huh."

"That's why you should find someone else."

"Then who should I find? Even someone like me wouldn't consider eating my family."

She giggled again. As for me, since I was calmly and diligently carrying out my task, I would've liked for her to take her work seriously too.

"In confusion, there's no one else I can depend on but Secret-Knowing-Classmate-kun."

"So while coming up with your plans, you haven't considered the possibilty that I too need a pancreas?"

"But it's not like you even know the function of a pancreas."

"I do."

I knew about it - that seldom-mentioned organ. I'd read up on it before.

Naturally, she jumped at the Opportunity.

[ heard her breathing and her footsteps behind me, and knew that she had excitedly turned around.

Staying angled to the bookshelf, I took just a momentary glance. Behind me was a sweaty girl, flashing a smile that no one would've expected from the terminally ill.

Even though we were in the era of global warming and it was already July, someone had neglected to switch on the air-conditioner; I was sweaty too.

"Could it be possible that you've read up on it?"

Her voice echoed a little, and I, who didn't have a choice, answered her question.

"The pancreas aids in digestion and energy production.

For example, it creates the insulin that's used to tum sugar into energy.

Without the pancreas, people would be unable to obtain energy and die. That's why I can't let you feast on my pancreas. Sorry."

Having said everything I wanted to say, I returned to my task. She was roaring with laughter.

Receiving my jokes like that had become a little speciality of hers, though this felt a little different.

"Who would've thought Secret-Knowing-Classmate-kun has really taken an interest in me, huh."

Well, there's no exhausting the interest in classmates that suffer from serious illnesses."

"I don't mean it that way. What about me as a person?"

".Who knows."

"What's up with that!"

She burst out into laughter once again.

The adrenaline from the heat must have made her weird in the head.

I was worried about my classmate's condition.

We quietly continued our work, until the teacher in charge of the library came calling for us.

Somehow or other, it seemed like the time for the library to close had arrived.

We marked our progress sorting by pulling a book sightly out of line, alter which we checked for forgotten items and left the archive.

Leaving behind the sweltering heat of the archive, our sweat-soaked bodies shivered as we were reacquainted with the cool library air.

"It's cold!"

She cheerfully spun around, entered the library reception counter, and wiped the sweat off her face with a towel conjured from her bag. I followed vaguely in her footsteps and began drying my own drenched body.

"Good work. We're already closed, so take your time.

Here, have some tea and snacks."

"Woah, thank you!"

"Thank you."

After taking a sip of the barley tea that Seusei had brought out, I took another look at the library. It was true - there wasn't a single student left.

"The steamed bun's delicious!"

The girl who pointed out every single positive thing was relaxing on the chair inside the counter. With a steamed bun in one hand, I dragged out a chair that was a little distance away fronm her and sat down too.

"Sorry for getting you two to help out, even though tests begin next week."

"Don't wory about it, it's okay. We're the kind that always get pretty average scores. Right? Secret-Knowing- Classmate-kun."

" Well, if we listen during cass, I guess so.

I made an appropriate response and took a bite of the steamed bun.

It was delicious.

"Have the both of you begun thinking about university?

What about you, Yamauchi-san?"

"I haven't really thought about it I mean, there's still time."

"What about you, Adult-Like-Student-kun?"

I haven't thought about it cither."

"That's no good you've got to think about it properly, Secret-Knowing-Classmate-kun!"

She held out her second steamed bun in her hands while making that unnecessary commient.

I ignored her and took another sip of my barley tea.

The taste of the faniliar, widely-available barley tea was delicious.

"So the both of you haven't really thought about the future, eh? If you continue being lazy, you'll be the same age as me before you know it."

"Ahaha, there's no way that's going to happen!"

While the two of them aughed merily, I kept a straight face. I mumched on my steamed bun and drank nıy barley tea. It was as she said. There was no way that would happen.

It was impossible for her to beccome the same age as our teacher, who was in her forties.

In this place, it was something only the girl and I knew, which was why she had winked at me and laughed.

It was as though she were one of those actors from American films that winked when they told a joke.

But just to be clear, the reason I didn't laugh wasn't because of how ill-conceived her joke was. It was because of that proud lace she made whenever she thought she had said something interesting - it was borderline mental.

Annoyed that I remained expressionless, she frowned at me. Having secn that, the edges of my lips finally curved up slightly.

After staying in the library for about an extra half an hour, we began to head home.

When we got to the shoe lockers, it was already 6 PM.

Despite this, we could still hear the ruckus made by sports club members as they gave their all nder the equally relentless sun.

"Wasn't the archive hot?"

"Yeah.

"We still have to do this again tomorrow., huh. But at least tomorow's the last school day of the week."

Ycah."

".Are you listening?"

"I am."

I swapped my indoor shoes for my loafers and left

through the hatch aligned with the lockers.

The school gate was in the opposite direction from the spots ficld, so the voices of the baseball and rugby clubs slowly dwindled as I walked.

With heavy footsteps, she caught up and positioned herself next to me.

"Haven't you learned to listen properly when others are

speaking"

"I have that's why I'm listening properly right now."

"Then, what was I talking about?"

".Steamed buns."

"So you weren't listening! Lying is a no-no!"

She chided me like a kindergarten teacher. She - who

was tall for a girl - and I - who was short for a boy - were

almost of the same height. Truth be told, it was quite

refreshing to be admonished by someone while having to

look down slightly to face them.

"Sorry, sorry - I was thinking about something."

"Hm? Thinking about what?"

Her frown dissolved instantly, as though she had never

been upset in the first place. She pecked at me with curiosity

written all over her face. After putting a little distance

between us, I nodded slightly.

"Yeah, I've always been thinking about it, very

seriously."

"Oh! What's wrong?

"It's about you."

I didn't stop, and I didn't look in her direction - I was

careful to make it a very ordinary conversation, without any sort of dramatic atmosphere. Because that would make things serious and troublesome.

Cutting past the words I had planned to say next, she

as expected - responded in a troublesome manner.

Me? Huh, what, a love confession?! Wah! I'll get

nervous!"

.It's not that. Hey."

"Yeah"

"Is it really fine to spend the little remaining time you

have to live on something like tidying up the library?"

Having heard my very casual question, she tilted her

head to the side.

"It's definitely fine."

"I don't think so."

"Really? Then, what else should I be doing?"

"Well, don't you want to do something ike finding

your first love, or taking a beach hike overseas and deciding

where you want to spend your last moments?"

This time, she tilted her head to the other side.

"Hmm, it's not like I don't understand what you are

trying to say. For example, even Secret-Knowing-Classmate

kun has things he wants to do before he dies, right?"

. wouldn't say I don't, I guess."

"But right now, you aren't doing those things, even

though both you and I could die tomorrow. It's with this

understanding that both you and I carry on as we do, surely.

The value of catch and every day is the same no matter

what I did, to me, the value of today won't change. I had fum today, you know."

..I see."

Maybe it really was as she said. I was frustrated by her

declaration, but at the same time, I understood it.

Even I- like her in the near future - would certainly die

someday. Even though I couldn't tell when my time would come, it was the inevitable future. Perhaps I would even die before her.

As expected, the words of people who were aware of

their own demise had a certain depth to them. The views of the girl beside me stirred me up a little inside.Of course, what I thought didn't matter to her. Surely

there were many people that liked her, so it was natural that

she didn't have the time to be interested in someone like

me. As proof of that fact, boys wearing the soccer club

uniform were running from the direction of the school gate,

and they were all looking at her walking.

She recognised one of the boys running over, and she

waved her hand at him.

"Do your best!"

Thanks, Sakura!"

The soccer boys made refreshing smiles as they passed

by us. If I recalled correctly, he should have beena

classmate of mine, but he didn't give me a single look.

"He ignored Secret-Knowing-Classmate-kun. He better

watch out tomorrow!"

"It's fine, and you should stop. Because I don't mind."

I really didn't mind. She and I were polar opposites, so

it couldn't be helped that we would be treated diflerently by our classmate.

"Gah, that's precisely why you can't make any friends!"

"I know it's the truth, but you're too concerned about

It.

"Argh, that's precisely why!"

In the midst of our conversation, we had reached the

school gate. Our houses were in opposite directions from here on, so this was where I parted ways with her. What a real pity.

"Bye."

"Hey, about what we talked about earlier."

I, who was turning away without any hesitation, was

stopped by her words.

She made a cheerful face, as though she had suddenly

thought of something. I realised that I've never really

expressed any sort of cheerfulness on my face.

"If I had to choose, I'd use the little remaining time of

my life to help Secret-Knowing-Classmate-kun."

"What do you mean?"

"Are you free on Sumday?"

"Ah, sorry, I have a date with my cute girlfriend. She'll

be hysterical if I leave her alone, so I can't."

"That's a lie, right?"

"And if it is?"

"Okay, so we'll meet at 11 AM in front of the station!

r'll bring along the Disease Coexistence Journal' too!"

Having said that, without at all having asked for my

acknowledgement, she waved her hand while walking in the

opposite direction from my home.

The sunmer sky behind her was still orange and pink,

and tinged most slightly with an ultramarine finish, it

showered us with its fading glow.

Without returning the gesture, I once again turned ny

back to her and began to head home.

In the absence of her blusterous laughter, I continued

to walk that familiar path home as the warm hues of the

dying day made way for the evening blue. Surely, my view of

the road home was different from hers.

Id most probably continue walking on this road until I

graduated.

How many more times would she get to walk on the

same road?

But it was true - just as she said, even I wouldn't know

how many more times I would get to walk on this road. As such, the roads we walked weren't so different.

I brought my linger to the side of my neck and made

certain that I was alive.

Taking each step to the beat of myheart, my mood was ruined as I felt my transient life tremble against my will.

The evening breeze blew against me, distracting me

from my thoughts.

Just a little, I started to look forward to our outing on

Sunday.

It all began in April, when the late-blooming sakura were still in bloom.

Medical science was advancing towards an unknown frontier. But I didn't know any details about it, and I wasn't interested in finding out more either.

All I could say was that at the very least, to medical science, it was progress to give an everyday life to a girl trapped in abnormality - a terminal condition that interfered with her life and would end it within a year.

Which is to say, humans had gained the ability to extend their hunan lifespans.

I thought that it was machine-like to be able to move despite suffering from such an illness, but something like my own impressions didn't matter to someone who was actually afflicted with the sickness.

Regardless of my unnecessary thoughts, she had been once more fully enjoying the benefits of medical science.

That was why it couldn't be blamed on anything else but her bad luck and the sudden turn of events that caused me, who should have only been a classmate, to find out about her illness.

That day, I had taken a break from school. It was because of my appendectomy - not the surgery itself, but the removal of the stitches.

My frequent visits to the hospital for follow-up treatment were coming to an end. I was supposed to have shown up late to school, but long waiting times at the large hospital had sapped me of any remaining enthusiasm for learning, and I remained loitering in the hospital's lobby.

It was a trivial feeling. In the comer of the lobby, sitting on a lonely sofa, was a book that had been left behind.

I wondered by whom it had been abandoned, as well as of its contents.

My curiosity sparked by a love of books took control, and I began to walk over.

Navigating through the spaces between patients, I arrived at the other end of the lobby and sat myself down on the sofa. Judging by its appearance, the book was an approximately 300-page thick paperback. Its secrets were guarded closely by a dust jacket from the bookshop near the hospital.

When I removed the dust jacket to check the title, I was met with a little surprise. Beneath it was not the original cover that should have been wrapped around the book - inscribed upon it instead were the words Disease Coexistence Journal' handwritten with a thick magic marker.

Of course, I'd never heard of the title or the publisher.

I wondered just what it could be, but since I couldn't think of a suitable answer no matter how much I thought about it, I flipped to the first page.

The words I saw on the very first page were not printed in a typeface that I was accustomed to. They had instead been carefully handwritten with a ballpoint pen - which meant that this article had been written by a person.

23rd November 20XX

My everyday thoughts and activities in Japan - I plan on writing them down in this disease coexistence journal. No one other than my family knows about it, but I am going to die in a few years. Having accepted this fact, I am writing for the sake of living with my illness.

To start things off, pancreatic diseases like what I've been diagnosed with a little earlier are the kings of sudden deaths. Even today, my symptoms have been mostly unnoticeable.

"Pancreas. Die..

Without thinking, words that weren't uttered on a daily basis spilt out of y mouth.

I see, evidently, it seemed like this belonged to someone whose lifespan had been determined a disease confrontation diary, no, a disease coexistence diary. It wasn't really something that I should have looked at.

Having come to that realisation, I closed the book.

Still seated down, I heard a voice from above my head.

"Erm.. I lifted my head in response to the voice, my shock not showing on my face. To my surprise, I recognised the face of the voice's owner. I kept my emotions hidden, assuming that she had approached me for something unrelated to the book.

With that said, even someone like me may have been in denial of the possibility that my classmate was shouldering the fate of having her life cut short.

Having been approached by a classmate, I put o an attentive look, quietly anticipating her reply. She extended an arm to me, looking as though she were snickering at my response.

"That belongs to me. Plain-Looking-Classmate-kun, why did you Connie to the hospital?"

Incidentally, I didn't know anything about my classmate except that she possessed a bright perkiness that was the antithesis to my usual silence.

Which was why I was taken aback that she could flash a brave smile in this situation, wherein a mere acquaintance like me had found out that she was suffering from a major illness.

Even so, I decided that I would pretend I didn't know about anything to the best of my ability. I believed that for both her and me, that would have been the best choice.

"I had an appendectomy a while back, but I still have to go lor treatment."

"Ah, I see. I had a check-up for my pancreas. Otherwise I'll die."

Why would she say something like that? In no tine at all, without noticing, she had crushed my consideration into pieces.

I observed her expressions, trying to no avail to read her true intentions. Her smile deepened as she sat down beside me.

"Are you surprised? You read it, didn't you? The Disease Coexistence Journal'."

Seemingly unbothered, the girl talked as though she were recommending a novel to me. Which was why I even thought that she had been playing a prank and it just so happened that I, an acquaintance, had fallen for it. See, Ive exposed the bluff.

"I was surprised. I thought that I'd lost it, so I came here searching for it in a huge panic, but it turns out that it was just with Plain-Looking-Classmate-kun."

hat does it mean? This.

"What does this mean? That's my 'Disease Coexistence Journal. Haven't you read it? It's like a diary that I've been writing since I found out about my pancreatic disease."

.You're joking, right?"

Even though she was inside a hospital, without any hesitation, she roared with laughter.

Just how tasteless of a person do you think I am? I wouldn't nake that kind of dark joke, you know? Everything that's written down is true - I can't use my pancreas and Im going to die soon, yup."

..Ah, I see."

"Eh! That's all? Don't you have anything else to say?"

Her voice trembled with shock.....No, but what should I say after being told that my classmate is going to die soon?

"Hmm, if it were me, I guess I'd be at a loss for words."

"Exactly. And if I didn't go silent, ľ'd want to assess the situation."

She started to giggle as she said,

“I guess that's true."

I didn't know what she found so amusing Immediately after that, she took the book, got up, waved her hand at me and headed deeper into the hospital.

"No one else knows about this, so don't tell the class okay?"

She said as she left. Thinking that I surely wouldn't be having any more exchanges with her after this, I felt a little relieved.

Contrary to my expectations however, she called out to me on the very next morning, just as we passed each other by in the school corridor.

Incidentally, the distribution of duties was decided freely by each class, and as a result, I was the only one to put my name up for the vacancy in the library committee. Though I didn't understand the motives behind her actions, as someone who tended to get lost in the flow of things, I continued to quietly think about the work that would be assigned to the new library committee members.