Invisible privilege

Dear diary,

I can't believe I spent my whole day asking wierd questions to people around me......... just to find my invisible privilege and I ended up dead disappointed.

jippu as usual was calm to hear all my weird thoughts and at the end gave me a confusing piece of advice........

" stop searching for your inner talent, when you distract yourself it would eventually find a way to express itself, universe would help you do so"

Now I am more confused with what I am doing with my life. Honestly whenever jippu starts taking about universe, it creeps the hell out of me.

I remember back in geography class when our teacher taught us about sun, moon, stars and stuff......... it was like a family drama until she introduced the "Almighty Black Hole" ........... she introduced black hole as a planet eater and we ended up believing that we were going to face apocalypse.

It took me years to escape from the fear of planet eater black hole.

My quest for my secret privilege reached to a point that I decided to ask aksh (my younger sister) about her thoughts on this.

( It's quite weird whenever I get quiet confused I end up asking my younger sister for advice.........

shouldn't this be the other way???? Shouldn't I be the one who gives advice......... since I am the elder one???

well I guess no........ she is far better than me in answering random questions. )

Aksh's answer was wierd as well..............

" stop wasting your time on random bullshit, find a hobby just for a sake of finding one. If you enjoy doing it continue to do so and if you don't find it interesting just leave it. Since you are not going to die tomorrow, I guess you have a lot of time to find anther one. "

she was quite rude........ may be I was disturbing her in the middle of her favourite tv show.

I think I should agree to this, how long am I going to wait for others to tell me what my strength are and what would I enjoy doing.

I guess I should find on my own.

Try something . What if it works out.

but now I am more confused....... what is the random thing that I would start doing????

reading (time consuming)

drawing (no talents)

watching TV (that's how you kill time- not productive)

......... list goes on.

last time I remember aksh had a summer break she decided to take drawing seriously. I remember she was quite passionate about it later on.Since she had a talent in drawing, with little effort she was able to make good sketches of people.

l envy her.

at least she knew what exactly she wanted to do.

and I am stuck figuring out wat exactly I wanted to do.

so I would proceed with 1st thing that comes to my mind tomorrow..........

I think I should stop overthinking........... just go for it that's it.

I hope things works out

Till then .............................

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