Ch-1

I can see the scenery within the light.

It’s like…the time when I was a child, submerged under the pool and

looking up toward the sky…I see the scenery with that kind of vague, yet

nostalgic feeling.

The scenery flows along and changes.

Like an old film, the blurry scenes continued to be replaced, one by

one.

A man holding 『my』 small hands….A woman, holding 『me』 in her

arms….Boys and girls that were even a little bigger than 『I』.

From the window of a bus, seeing large buildings and small stores

drifting away.

And from inside of a train, witnessing the never-ending railroad and

endless townscape.

The scenes continued to change, and then there was a 『me』that had

grown bigger and was attending school with other children wearing the same

uniform.

Chatting with friends, exchanging texts late into the night….Sitting

together with siblings on the sofa, watching a borrowed movie. Our parents

returning home, and everyone enjoying a meal together.

This scenery full of happiness abruptly began turning 『white』.

White walls, white floor, and lying on top of the white bed under the

same white-coloured sheets, what was reflected in 『my』eyes, was the pure white ceiling….

he shaking hands that I lifted, were as thin as the withered branches

of a tree.

The scene continuously s.h.i.+fted, but that white world remained….and

amidst the broken and hoa. r.s.e sound of someone crying….『My』world slowly

became dyed in black.

Was I…seeing a dream?

Somehow, the dream felt nostalgic…and distant.

I wonder…where is this place?　I can’t see a thing, it’s as if a dim…mist is

hanging over me. It feels just like staring into the sun and being dazzled…oh,

I should just open my eyes.

And when I tried lifting my eyelids, the scene of my surroundings jumped

into my field of vision much clearer than before.

What I saw, wasn’t a gra.s.s-covered plain, nor the interior of a room,

but instead, there was nothing but an emptiness that spread everywhere; cracked

earth as far as the eyes could see and a plain dark sky.

Simply put, there was nothing but rough grey earth, not even a weed in

sight. An empty world.「……………」

The atmosphere would have been completed if a cold wind was to blow

along with dead, withered leaves at this moment. I wonder if that describes what I'm

feeling right now.

Leaving that aside…I wonder, how am I seeing all of this…?

I don’t remember opening my eyes. When I concentrate, I’m able to see in

all directions at the same time. Of course, that includes me….

「………………！？」

I unintentionally let out a scream…or I thought, but my voice wouldn’t

come out.

After all…I have no mouth….Not to mention a mouth, I didn’t even have a

body.

R, right…I’m a little calmer now.

By the way, when I said I had nobody, that was just a bit incorrect. As

proof of that, even now the form of my body is responding to my fluctuating

emotions; scattering and undulating.

It’s something like a ga.s.sy, misty, light brown-ish aggregation…which

is the current me.

Haha…makes me laugh. Although it’s nothing funny.

Is this a dream I wonder……?

It could be, that the world of light I’d been seeing until just moments

ago was the real world, and this was just a bad dream.

But the reality is cruel, and the sensations I felt through this mist-like

body of mine was telling me that this was 『real』.

And then surprisingly, when I acknowledged this form to be my 『self』, I strangely

came to accept it without any discomfort and calmed down.

Could this be…that?

Thinking of it using the knowledge gained from that world of light, it

could be summed up as the mind affecting the body while at the same time, the

state of the body influencing the mind…something like that?

After all, the ups and downs of emotions don’t show such a big change in

the 『body』of the average human.

I don’t have a heart so I don’t feel my heart pumping, and I don’t feel

suffocated from the lack of breath. With this body, I doubt if I would feel

even pain or hunger.

I have nothing to look forward to….I have no eyes so I can’t even cry!

F, for the time being…I should, at the very least, hold on to my sense

of self. It’s a bit late in thinking this but, I wonder who I am?

My name…can’t remember it. Yes, I am nameless. I could simply pick a

name from my memories, but I have a certain feeling that it just wouldn’t

do.

Incidentally, I also can’t remember the names of family or friends. Even

worse, I’ve even forgotten their faces.

Okay…moving on.

I do have memories up of wearing a uniform, so I was probably a student.

Considering the number of my memories, probably a high schooler.

Although it’s all from a dream.

The gender is…a girl right…?　I was wearing a skirt uniform in my memories, and

personally, it feels much more acceptable.

Good good, my sense of 『self』is gradually coming together…oh?　The colour of

my body somewhat deepened? Besides, I feel like the density of the mist has

become thicker.

For the time being, I can’t feel anything gone wrong, so I’ll continue to

recall the memories in the dream to further secure my sense of self.

And so, doing this and that took quite a while…or so I felt.

I mean, the sun hasn’t even risen, and as expected I didn’t get hungry,

so there was no way for me to measure the time.

It’s good that my sense of self has become firmer due to recalling

various things, but a new problem appeared.

I have nothing to do.

To be honest, feeling anxious, irritated and going mad from

loneliness…such things seem likely to happen, but with my current body there

are no signs of such things happening?

When I recall the last moments from the memories of the dream, I wonder

if I’ve died and fallen into h.e.l.l….

Although speaking comparatively, it’s an h.e.l.l completely without the

agony.

Of course, there is also that rumour that this is all a dream. And of

course, the source of that wishful rumour is me.

「……？」

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