Chapter four

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...Suicidal...

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Alice sat across from her mother and sister, that was the first visit from them in two weeks. Alice kept her face nonchalant but altered no word to either, nor had she acknowledged their presence at all.

If John and Fredrik didn’t carry her all the way to the visiting room, she surely would never have came and besides the fact their effort would be put to waste.

The silence between the three was so suffocating anyone near the radius would feel uncomfortable too.

Alice kept her eyes glued to the floor and her ears shut from any of them, when she got tired of gripping her seat with all her strength she placed her hands on top of the table.

Avery saw her daughter’s hand on top of the table, she tried to reach out for it but Alice quickly realised what the woman was about to do so she withdrew her hand away. The look of disappointment was as clear as day on Avery’s face and her first born Mercy noticed it, she threw draggers at her which only lead to Alice shrugging in her seat.

“What do you want.” Alice finally spoke after the ten minutes of absolute silence, but when she spoke she never once looked at them in the eyes she just couldn’t bring herself to doing that.

Avery cleared her throat before she spoke, “We came to see you dear, how are you doing now? We miss you a lot.” Alice bursted into laughter which left everyone clueless because nothing seemed funny, for a second they all thought she went crazy maybe she did all that electricity passing through her body was bound to do something.

Once her laughter had died a bit down, Alice opened her mouth to speak. “You know it’s funny, really, you don’t give a shit about me nor could you careless how I’m feeling. So cut the act and just tell me you want me dead and out of your sight, I’ll do it gladly.” they both looked at her hurt like she had driven knifes through them.

Avery was on the verge of tears, her own daughter spoke to her like they weren’t blood. Mercy looked from her mother to her younger sister, she felt disgusted by her lack of manners. “Treat our mother with a bit of respect Alice, talk to me like that but not the woman who gave birth to you.” Mercy was clearly angry but it didn’t leave any hint of guilt in Alice.

She looked her sister dead in the eyes, “Avery May is not my mother, that right was taken away when she placed me in here.” she paused as she looked at her mother, the tears she had now been holding back came down like a water fall, Alice crossed her arms. “Just because we are blood doesn’t make you my family anymore, cause you just like every other person on this earth does not wish me well, so technically I’m an orphan.”

Avery sobbed as her only remaining daughter comforted her, mercy didn’t stop giving Alice glares but she, Alice, just kept rolling her eyes.

Avery eventually stopped crying when no effort came from Alice, she wiped away her stream of tears. “How could you say that, you’re hurting me.” Alice remained silent her eyes never left the ceiling, so Avery took it upon herself and continued talking. “Alice May! As much as you don’t like me being your mother I am and I will always be, now look me in the eyes and tell me you’re an orphan because—”

“I’m an orphan!” Alice shouted on top of her voice, out masking her mother. The two looked directly into eachothers eyes, “I, Alice is a Lesbian, is an orphan and has no surname.” She spoke her eyes never leaving Avery’s, the tone she used showed no emotion and her eyes didn’t as well.

Avery on the other hand was in tears, Mercy looked shocked and as equally hurt as her mother.

Avery kept mumbling the same line under her breath, tears still streaming down her face. “This is all her fault, that two faced bitch, she did this to us.. she deserves—”

“The world, Samantha Blue did nothing to us and you shall not speak of her with that little respect, and full of disgust. Honestly the two faced bitches are you guys, so stop bad mouthing the woman I love, Do you hear me.” Alice spoke her voice demanding, her mother looked up to her pleading for anything but she got none. And when no words left her mouth, Alice stood, it was time the visit ended.

Alice graceful carried herself away from the two, she didn’t even move a muscle of her neck to face her Avery or Mercy.

“You’re hurting her Alice, just please don’t!” Mercy shouted, her mother was in her hands as she comforted the elderly woman.

Alice was beyond pissed when Mercy spoke, that’s all it took for her to break, everything she held in bursted out like a balloon. Alice turned facing the two her eyes bloodshot, “Hurting her? Do you know what actually hurts Mercy, do you have the slightest clue?”

Neither of the women spoke, Alice began walking back to them. “To be hurt is when your mother you so much thought you knew throws you away like trash, when you have always been the freaking black sheep, the disappointment.” she wiped away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks, both the two woman wanted to touch her but she took a step back.

With a heavy and pounding heart, Alice kept speaking, “Hurting is when after so many years of feeling depressed and not heard is masked when you fall madly in love, but your love is taken away from you cause it’s not Right. Hurting is when every single day you get shocked over and over, drugged till you can’t stand and you are expected to say nothing.” despite trying to hold back her tears they came rushing down, Alice bit her lower lip laughing nervously as she stared at her feet.

She ran her fingers through her hair, bringing her head up to face them. “That is being hurt, that is the only reason I will never love any of you again and you are not the purpose of me still wanting to be alive. If I were to kill myself today, Sam would never forgive me for being weak but I can’t do it anymore and I know she will forgive me because she is the only one that matters.”

With no further words from any of them, Alice ran out of the room.

When no guards or the two cruel men where in sight she ran to the medicine storage room, she let herself in. In a hurry to not be caught, Alice grabbed what ever pills where in sight, no even waiting on water she swallowed them, she had eight different pills.

While Alice was returning to her room they started taking effect, the rooms where becoming burly and her body with each step became weak, when she was close to her room her body fell limb on the floor and no one was in sight to help her.

Knowing that, she smiled as her eyes began to close. “Sorry Sam, please forgive me one day.” she whispered as her body completely went cold.

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