Sad Life

What She Feels

Everyone thought that I am a really happy person but in real I only keep my problems to myself but in the past I kinda tell my problems of my two bestfriends; Stacy and Viola but I only told them using texts that time....They seemed pretty busy nowadays so I stopped telling them all my problems in life because some people already have their own problems in life and I dont wanna add up mine to theirs....and plus Im really a boring person and nowadays im not that interesting to chat anymore Ive kinda lost all my humor...and all i talk about are sad topics....

(i dont know if im okay,

I dont know if this is really me,I dont know if i could trust myself or anyone i guess...

I dont know how to be like the others,I forgot almost all of my happy and fun memories in my life, I dont know if people even want to be my friend, Almost everyone thinks Im Anooying AF,I dont know what to do in life, I meed someone to talk to properly but I chose u because I dont know...)

What is normal life anyways?How do you let out the sadness inside you and let happiness enter for a better changing of life?Am I gonna be sad permanently?

Ive always try ways too be happy but I Cant I couldn't...I want to feel happiness I want joy I Just want to feel that warm smile of mine once again and that very happy feeling ive felt before

But somehow Happiness left and rejects me and Sadness came to my life and made it horrible like in someways i could say like

;My heart feels like its being held tightly with very strong hands and it needs something to make it budge so sadness wont live here inside me...its just like a riddle or puzzle so it will set my heart free but i dont know how....everyday i can somewhat feel my heart is getting heavy and heavier and heavier like its sinking in an dark ocean where nothing lives but only you until when it finally reaches to the bottom its just like "Your times up, you will never feel happy,you will never enjoy life once again nothing can maake u happy from now on you are permanently sad and defeated you are always hopeless"--

*Felt numb directly and froze*

I ask my self what is that "ONE" thing that makes me enjoy my life

but i dont have a clue what it is....

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