Any Way I Can - Part 2

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Angst

*****

“How the hell did you find me?”

“ARMYs.” Jungkook answers as if it was that simple.

You roll your eyes at him. At first thought, you found the explanation ridiculous, but as you continued dwelling upon the idea of Jungkook using his fanbase to help him look for you, the more you realize that it didn’t seem so radical at all. The BTS fandom is basically whipped for these boys. You scowl at him as he makes himself comfortable in the seat in front of you.

“I tweeted out that I needed to find you,” He continues, “Those who really shipped us together were willing to help. It wasn’t that hard, actually, considering that you’re a regular customer here.” He then looks around the cafe in a judging manner, and you were looking at him as if looks could kill. When he looks back at you, you changed your hatred stare into one that didn’t show any emotion, “All they did was tweet me a picture of you here, with the city and saying that you come here at this time.”

You purposely sigh with annoyance. “Anyways, what do you want?” You ask, crossing your arms. Jungkook rolls his eyes, sitting back as he crosses his arms, and his tongue poking at his cheek. “Isn’t obvious? You’re carrying my baby.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, “What, and you want something to do with our child?” You ask, but before he could answer, you correct yourself, “I mean, my child?”

“Your child, you say?” Jungkook repeats, and you can imagine smoke coming out of his ears. “What about me? Don’t I get a say in this matter too?”

You slam your hands on the table, not too harshly, though, just loud enough to make an emphasis on him. “You lost your say when you couldn’t even treat me right, Jungkook. If you have the audacity to treat me like shit, then what more of a baby?”

“Treat you like shit? What the ****? When did that ever happen?” He pressed accusingly. You scoff and roll your eyes before answering, “First of all, you forgot about our dinner date. I don’t even think you realize—” Jungkook then cuts you off, “Oh boo-hoo. I forgot a date. Did you search up ‘Top 5 Signs Your Relationship is Going Downhill’ and based your conclusions off of that?”

“I don’t think you realize,” You continue, ignoring his interruption. “How important it was to me. It was just another date, yeah,” You take his words into consideration mockingly, “I mean, I waited for you for hours, Jungkook! Then you text me asking me where I am and why there isn’t dinner at home -well, that’s because dinner was supposed to be our date out!” You argue, out of breath. You pause for a moment, inhaling & exhaling deeply before whispering, “My heart kept on insisting on a man who would never come.” Tears started to build up in your eyes at this point, but you fought them off. “If you forgot about your responsibility to me as your girlfriend, then what about your responsibility to your child as a father?”

“Even on my birthday!” You bring up, “I still don’t even know where you went that day. I woke up so early, wanting my first birthday greeting to be from my boyfriend, but instead I wake up to an empty bed, and a fucking empty house. My heart kept on defending you, insisting to me that you probably have some surprise going on for me and that the only reason you didn’t contact me all day was so you can greet me in person.” You then twiddle with your thumbs because looking back at this past makes you feel embarrassed. “You know, I even went to the mall…” You add softly, and you’re looking down at your hands but you look up through your eyelashes to see his reaction. He’s currently still as stone and his eyes wide. If you focused closely, you can see Jungkook’s Adam’s apple bob up & down, and you can imagine sweat running down his temple.

“I saw you there, and I thought you were going out to buy me a present or something but instead, I see you meet up with another woman. Care to explain?” You ask, raising an eyebrow.

Jungkook opens his mouth to say something but there is no response that could possibly help him. You feel proud of his loss for words and continue, “And then you come home when the day is almost over, and I thought you were gonna treat me out to dinner, but instead, you finally greet me a happy birthday -begrudgingly, may I also add, and then you go upstairs to sleep! I bought a cake for the two of us -did you know that? Like why does the birthday girl have to buy her own cake?”

You pause there, taking a moment to breathe again, and you look off to the side. “I felt so neglected… It really fucking hurt, Jungkook, and I don’t want to risk the possibility of you to cause that same pain to this baby.”

Jungkook looks down at his hands, his jaw is clenched because he wants to say something to prove you wrong but there’s no argument coming to his mind. “-And don’t think I’m gonna let you get away with you cheating on me.” You bring up too. Jungkook’s eyes snap up to look at you, his lids going wide. “…What? How did you…” He asks in a whisper.

“I caught you with another woman in our own-fucking-bed that day I was supposed to go visit my parents after work. My boss held me to work another shift, and my parents wanted me to get some rest instead of visiting them. They said I could visit them anytime, anyways, so I went home early.” You end there, because you know Jungkook can put the pieces together from there.

“You think I’m gonna let our child see how bad our relationship is?” You ask. “I’d rather have nothing to do with you at all rather than let my child be influenced by your indecent, selfish ways.”

“I…” Jungkook sighs, “I’m sorry,” He whispers.

You stay silent because you don’t know how to respond to his apology. He’s usually too stubborn to apologize so you know that when he does, it’s not a moment to be taken for granted. You look at him, remembering all the moments you spent with him, the good & the bad, the beginning until the end. You bite your lip, hesitant to ask, but you do it anyways.

“Do you even love me anymore?” You question, biting your lip afterward.

He hesitates, obviously taken aback by this sudden change of topic, and he lets a moment linger too long before you finally get your answer. He says nothing. You scoff and shake your head. “Look, Jungkook,” You sigh, sitting forward to put your intertwined hands on the table. “I appreciate that you want to be a father to our child, but we can’t be proper parents if we can’t even tolerate each other—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Jungkook cuts you off, offended. “I admit, I don’t have the same feelings I held for you before now, but I never said anything about not being able to tolerate you!” He argues. “What, can you not tolerate me?” He asks.

“Well, can you blame me?” You ask, a single tear rolling down your cheek. “You treated me like shit when we were together. I’m not gonna let you do that to me again, and I’m certainly not going to let you do it to my child.”

“If you told me you were pregnant, then I would’ve cleaned up my act!” He rebuttals.

“Oh, so were you going to clean up your act after you forgotten a date & left me waiting for you for fucking nothing? After you neglected me on my fucking birthday? Or were you going to clean up your act after you fucking cheated on me?” You spat.

Jungkook doesn’t say anything to this, but you can see him tense up. “I’ll get you back, Y/n.” He tells you in a low voice, and you roll your eyes. “I’ll be a father to our child… I’ll do whatever it takes, I’ll do it in any way I can.”

“Not like this, not anymore, Jungkook. You’re already too late.” You shake your head at him. “Besides, taking care of a child with the person you no longer love isn’t the family dream, now is it?” You reason lightly.

You get up to leave, but as you were about to exit the cafe, Jungkook says, “I’ll come back in 8 months, Y/n! If I can’t be a father to my child, then I want to at least be for our child’s birth.”

…

This was supposed to be another check-up appointment for the progress of your baby. Never in your wildest dreams would you even consider the possibility of your doctor giving you such horrible news. You’re 4 months into your pregnancy, and in a couple weeks, you’re supposed to get your first ultrasound -all in which you were more than excited for. You & your best friend walked in, arm linked to arm as you entered, but you felt you were suffocating as you rush to get out of that hospital, your best friend helplessly following behind.

After you discovered that you lost your baby, you went silent. Your best friend tried to talk to and comfort you in the car, but it was of no avail. Your mouth was slightly agape and you were holding back the tears threatening to fill your eyes as your best friend drove you back to your guys’ house. When you arrived home, you went straight to your room, and your best friend tried to catch up but after she adjusted her parking & locked the car, you had already locked the door.

It’s been 2 weeks after learning of your miscarriage, and never have you once been out of your room. You went out to use the bathroom and to eat, but that was only when it was late at night, when you know your best friend is back in her own room. Your best friend has attempted endlessly to get you out of your room, to vent out about this loss, but you continued to remain in the confinements of your room.

It wasn’t until Jungkook just couldn’t stop calling you that you finally opened up the door. He’s done his research and he knows that about 20 weeks into pregnancy is when the ultrasound appointments begin. There is no doubt that he wants you to send a picture of the progress of your baby to him. When you didn’t answer his first couple calls and texts, he thought you were avoiding him again, so he decided to spam you with calls.

Hitting the decline button became tiring and the fact that Jungkook couldn’t get the memo that you don’t want to talk now (and maybe ever) was so annoying. As your best friend was doing her daily routine of cleaning up the house, she sees your door open, and she freezes at the sight of you. At first glance, it isn’t hard to tell that you aren’t taking care of yourself. You take one look at her, quickly acknowledging her presence, and she’s about to say something to you, but you throw your phone out of your room, close the door, and lock yourself in again.

Your best friend sighs, thinking that this might be the closest she’ll ever get to you coming out of your room. She goes over to where your phone has landed, not surprised that the screen is shattered, considering that you’ve been bottling up your feelings in your room and this was an opportunity you took to express it by throwing your hurling your phone at the wall. She is surprised, though, that it’s still working, and that Jungkook is still calling.

Your best friend stares at his caller ID; She knows that you haven’t told him about the miscarriage. You haven’t uttered a word ever since finding out, not to her nor your parents, so you obviously wouldn’t say anything to your ex-boyfriend, who was also the father of your late child. A lump forms in her throat, scared of breaking the news to him. She inhales deeply before answering his call.

“Heya Jungkook,” Your best friend greets awkwardly.

“… This doesn’t sound like Y/n.” Jungkook quickly notices. “Who are you?”

‘It’s Y/best friend’s/n, Y/n’s best friend.” She answers.

“Alright, and where’s Y/n?” He asks, straight to the point.

“She’s locked up in her room right now.” She answers, and then adds in a mutter, “Has been for the past couple weeks, actually.”

“What?” Jungkook then questions, “Why?”

Your best friend bites her lip, unsure of how to break it to him. There’s no simple way to put this, and she doesn’t want to say bluntly that you had a miscarriage; She wants to sugarcoat this. “Well, you see,” And she pauses, her brain working real hard to try to find an easy way to say this, but she didn’t want the silence to linger for too long and she honestly can’t think of another way to phrase this so she says, “Y/n lost the baby.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to be silent, but it wasn’t long until he says, “Fuck.”

Your best friend doesn’t say anything in response, because she doesn’t know what to say. Jungkook then tells her, “I’m going over there,” before hanging up.

Your best friend decides to keep ahold of your phone just in case he calls again. She knew Jungkook had to fly over from South Korea to your hometown, so she expects him to call when he lands so that she can pick him up and bring you here. So, of course, she was surprised when she saw an Uber pull up at the driveway in the middle of the night. Jungkook exits out of the car and immediately makes his way to the front door, and your best friend doesn’t hesitate to open it. She leads him to your room, where the first thing he does is knock on the door and talk to you. You don’t answer.

His voice starts to waver as he continues thumping at the door, and your best friend was a little taken aback at the sight of him breaking down. He’s crying as he pounds on your door. “Let me in, Y/n. Let me in.”

Your best friend is watching in pity as Jungkook kneels down to the ground with his fist still hitting the door -his knees probably went weak for him to properly stand. She doesn’t know what to do to help.

“Let me in!” Jungkook suddenly yells as warm tears streamed down his cheeks. His tone then changed to a soft one to match his devastation at the reality hitting him now. He’s crying because not only has he lost his child, but he’s also lost you. “Just please,” He pleads, “Let me in.”

*******

Author : Yna / Am I the queen of angst yet?

All credits go to the author, this doesn't belong to me ✔

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