1) he's back..

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I was young when I fell in love with him. He was my classmate in grade school.

"Because all of you have partners already, Shane and I will be partners too," James promised with a smile on his side.

My female classmates are partners with boys. I was just quiet in my seat because I was a shy type at that time. And then,this James, he chose me. Maybe because to irritate me.I secretly admired and pretended to be angry at what he did.

"I really don't like you," I removed his hand at my shoulders at the same time.

"Huh! You react, like you don't like me. If I know you are thrilled," he said proudly.

"I also love the thickness of your face. For your information you are not that handsome for me to like. And I also do not see anything for me to like you!" I promised angrily.

But deep inside I'm already thrilled with excitement hahaha. But I will never admit to him.

Since then, i started to like him or rather had crush on him secretly..

******

"Waaahh" I shouted and hurried down the bed.

"Hey! Can you lower down your voice?!" My sister Eve 'shouted back.

"You are overreacting okay?," I shouted back.

I was just shocked that it was quarter to 6 in the morning and I went to work at 7:00 am.

I was in a hurry to go to the bathroom and viola! After 10 mins I finished.

After taking a bath, I got dressed and hurried to work.

"Hey Elle!" one of my bestfriends at work Kathy called.

"Why? If I know what you are going to say are just gossip," I complained to Her.

"Seriously," she groaned. "I just want to share with you my annoyance with this company."

"Why is there something new? You are always annoyed with this company."

"Before that, I just caught up with the HR people. And guess what? They're on hiring again," she said annoyed.

"Really? Our production is weak now, why do we need more employees?" I got annoyed with the news.

"That's why I don't understand their style".

"Oh my gosh! Early in the morning my day is ruined and I'm almost late".

"What happen?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just woke up and remembered the love I had when I was young," I said.

I told Kath about my crush when I was young. But I did not say everything, even the name she did not know. I don't want to lie but sometimes we have to do it because we know time will come and they will might accidentally meet. I don't want them to know who he really is.

"Maybe you always think of him," she raised an eyebrow.

"I object! There was a saying that 'when you dreamed of someone, an opposite thing happens. Maybe he's the one who's thinking of me." I joked.

"Wow, are you that beautiful to think of by someone? Wake up friend. I think you are still dreaming 'till now,"

'Huh, if you only knew, but erase erase because only happy moments when I was young should be remembered. The following events are not included' she said to herself.

"Yes, but what if, if we feel the same way? Chose! Just kidding," I joked with half truth.

What if we both feel the same way? What if he really likes me and i was not just a dare to him?

There are lots of "what if" I want to answer but I do not want to fool myself because I know the real score between the two of us.

"I thought you moved on with your puppy love?" She asked.

"Of course, my heart may always be weak for him but I know where to stand or my place. And then I know that he won't like me back. You know 'feeling handsome'." I answer. Sadly but true.

"That's true. We should not believe with their flowery lips".

"Correct!" Janice interrupted. Suddenly she appeared somewhere and sat on the vacant seat next to me.

"Hey, preggy! Don't just suddenly appear here like a ghost"

We have also been bestfriends for more than four years so they already know me and what character I have.

I am thankful that I had friends like them.

We are four bestfriends,Thalia Enriquez, Kathy Moriss, Janice Suarez, and yours truly Elle Shane Quinn at your service.

"Ghost? Really Elle huh? Isn't it pretty piggy?" She said after laughing heartily. See? A crazy piggy, maybe.

"Why should I? You're not pretty" I teased her.

"Whatever Elle, if you will got pregnant and the hole in your ugly nose grows, I just don't know. You might be uglier than me," said Janice

"The question is, when will that happen? She doesn't even have a boyfriend in the first place," Kathy said.

"Wow, look who's talking. Another human girl who doesn't have a boyfriend is reacting. Hey Kathy girl, we were just the same loveless so don't me," i teased her.

"Hep hep, we're not the same. Take note, atleast I had a boyfriend and you never," she added and even emphasized the word 'had'.

Of course i had. But it's not counted though.

"Ouch! It hurts you know," I act as if i was hurt.

"Truth hurts my friend" Kathy said.

I was struck by what she said. It's true that truth hurts, so maybe until now I still get hurt every time I remember what happened before.

Even though I tried to erase it, my friends always reminded me. Oh well, no one knows about him. All they knew was about my crush in gradeschool. And not what happened after then.

"It's better to start looking for that, later," Janice suggested.

"That's right, you can go and hunt with one of those trainees. You can definitely date at least one of them," Kathy agreed.

"Nice suggestions from you two huh? It really helps," I joked. "What do you think of me guys? A desperate one?".

"It's not like that, maybe just hehehe," kathy joked.

"Morning guys," Thalia interrupted the topic. "Why are you serious? Is there anyone new pregnant in the group ?," she asked innocently.

"No one, okay? It's just that Janice advised Elle for a boy hunting later." Kating explained.

"That's good. There are lots of good looking guys in the new trainees," she screamed as if not a married one.

"You screamed like a single lady," I reacted.

"Even though I am married that does not mean that I have no rights to appreciate God's creation," she explained.

"Yeah, yeah. But we have to go.It's only five minutes before we finish breaktime," she interrupted and looked at her watch.

"I'll see you again here at our lunchtime" I said goodbye to them.

We went out of the canteen together and went to our workplace. Janice and Thalia are in the same workplace. While me and kathy were on the same team also.

"It's a headache for new trainees, since most of us are the same age and they don't listen very well and they don't focus too much," Kathy complained when they went home already.

She got assigned to train some of the trainees.

"Maybe you were too soft to them? Why don't you show your dragon side?" I suggested.

"Yes, and if they still don't want to listen, just light a fire and turn them into ashes! Problem over right?" Thalia added.

"Yeah, and after that ---" Janice suddenly said something else.

"Hey pregnant? Are you okay?" I woke her up.

"Girls!" She said suddenly.

"Do you see what I see ?," she said as if still dreaming.

"Hey crazy, shut up there. Are you crazy already? Or because you are pregnant you can be like that," I turned to her.

"Hahaha," she suddenly laughed.

"This preggy woman has lost her sanity," Kathy reacted.

"Girls, relax ok? You're too hot eh. I should just be hot here that suits another hot one," she added.

"It's really hot, the sun is still high oh. Why don't we have OT? It's still too hot now" Thalia said.

"That's not what I mean. What I mean is, I saw a hot one, I think the hunk is more appropriate. Straight eyes guys' don't go anywhere just in front of us oh," she turned to us while pointing with the snout.

We all followed the person she pointed out to us.

I stopped walking while looking at him. And he turned right in our direction.

"Yeah right? Wait and he's looking at us" Kathy commented.

We just kept walking and I just quietly followed them. I can't react, 'don't know what to say don't know what to do. My brain cells went block.

I don't know why in so many places that will might meet, why outside the company I work for? How did he know i worked here?

"And guys until now he was still looking at us. I didn't expect that even though my stomach was obvious, someone could still be fascinated by my beauty bwahahahha," Janice said laughing like crazy.

"Hormones guys, so let's just let the pregnant woman dream," Kathy said with a laugh.

"Why are you quite, Elle?" Thalia commented to me.

"Huh?" I suddenly turned to her.

"I said, you're quite" she repeated.

"Nothing" i lied.

"You suddenly fell silent there, is there a problem?" Kathy asked.

"Nothing, just thinking," I excused.

I pretended I did not see him. And when he was in front of us I turned my eyes in the other direction. When suddenly he said those words that stopped me.

I stiffened in my position with fists clenched and I angrily looked into the distance.

My friends also stopped and looked at me in amazement as if asking a question.

I said nothing when I heard him speak again.

"I'm sorry, and I was hoping that you could spare a little time with me. I just want us to talk. Please?" He pleaded.

I did not turn around and continued walking.

"Please Shane?" He asked again. But i just keep walking as if i didn't hear anything. My friends just followed along.

"Aww," my three friends said at the same time. They followed me at the same time.

"What does he mean? Do you know him Elle ?," Thalia asked seriously.

I did not answer her and I just kept walking.

I did not answer because I did not know what to say to them and I was not ready to talk about him.

"I'll spare you for now, but you must tell us everything when you are ready. Well always be here for you and ready to listen. Remember that," I just nodded to Kathy.

We said goodbye to each other.

"'I didn't know you knew a hunk," janice said. Thalia kicked her when she noticed my face was serious.

I stare blankly at the emptiness. Slightly smiling as I feel the heartache. I shouldn't have been because I tried to erase it but now it is back.

I lay down on the bed and secretly cried. I tried to go back to the past which caused a lot of pain and a big scar on my heart.

The past is the reason I have trust issues.

I'm not angry, I'm just in pain.

It may be hard to forgive but it's harder to ease the pain and just forget.

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