Chapter 12

•Some language in this chapter (story) and adult humor read at your own risk.•

Kim Nam-joon plopped down on the bed beside his husband, a small smile etched on his face. There was something so pure and innocent about the way the man smiled, he didn't do it often, but the world seemed to stop when he showed people his gummy smile. "That was stressful." Said RM, he turned so his body was facing Suga, his head resting on his hand. When his husband didn't respond, Nam-joon traced a finger over his husband's lips, grabbed his chin and kissed him. "Penny for your thoughts babe."

"Thinking about the first time we met." He says pushing himself up on his elbows. "It feels so long ago. Do you ever wonder what would have happened if we'd never met?"

Actually he had. His life would be so different than what it is today. The thought that he'd almost missed out on the talented singer and rapper left a sour taste in his mouth. And his kids, god, he couldn't and didn't want to imagine them calling someone else daddy.

"All the time," RM whispers a sadness in his voice. They had almost missed each other and if it hadn't been for JB and Jackson and the rest of GOT7, he'd have missed Min Yoongi altogether. "Whats got you thinking so hard about the past?"

Yoongi shrugged and let out an agitated huff. "I don't know, I think I'm just tired. Its been a long day."

"Yoongi ah, what's on your mind?"

"I don't know." He held back a sob, "I just- I've missed so much Joonie, so many days. I dont want our kids to remember me as the father who left to go fulfill his dreams." Suga started to cry, tears falling freely for the second time since he's been home. "I hate that Seok-jin won't spend more than five minutes with me and the way Taehyung gets sad every time I leave the room hurts. And don't even get me started on Ho-seok."

The younger man sits up pulling his husband close to his chest. He let's Suga cry for a bit and rubs his hands through the older man's hair.

"You're doing the best you can jagiya. It's going to take time and don't worry about Seok-jin, he'll come around."

"What if he doesn't, what if our kids are always gonna wonder when I'll leave again?" 

"Stop it! Look at me Yoongi ah," RM lifts his husband's face with his hands until brown eyes are staring at him. He wiped the tears from his husband's face and kissed him gently on the lips. "Our kids will be fine. Jin, Hobi and Tae love you, I know they do, it's just hard for them because they are so young. Jin knows that you had to leave so you can make money and provide for us. I know that too and even though it was hard at times, I know you are trying to give us the best life," he paused taking in a sharp breath.

Yoongi leaving for the third time in three years was hard. The first couple of weeks he had to sleep alone almost broke him, but he knew that this is what Yoongi had to do to provide for them. "I mean, look at all you've given us baby, because of you, our kids will never want for anything. They'll never feel like they aren't safe. We have this big beautiful house with a huge backyard because you work so hard. This is all because of you."

"Is it worth it though?" Suga croaked out.

"Is it worth it?" Nam-joon asked, "**** yeah it's worth it. It's worth every sleepless night, every nappy change, ever emergency room visit and every pregnancy you've gone through. I'd say it's pretty fucking worth it."

Sitting up, Suga winced his head was pounding.

Getting off the bed, RM walked over to their closet, switched on the light and closed the door. A few minutes later he walked out of the closet a book underneath his arm. Suga watched with interest as his husband opened the book and pulled out a few of its content. "This is the first pregnancy test we took together two years after we got married." RM says handing the test over to his husband, "and this," he held up the first ultrasound pictures. "This was our first check up, when we got to see our baby. Min, everything in this book is all the good things you've done for our family. Jin's first baby shoes, a piece of Hobi's baby blanket and Tae-hyung's hat and mittens. You did that, you gave us this life and you gave me three beautiful kids."

Suga smiled, RM had a way of making his feel better when he got into one of his moods. He traced his hand over the pages and stopped at a series of pictures. "When did you take these?"

"When you first told me we were going to be parents."

It was a series of pictures, the first one was a photo of Suga six weeks into his pregnancy. He didnt even know when Nam-joon had taken some of the pictures he was looking at. The next picture showed him at 12 weeks pregnant, in the photo he could see the slight swell of his belly. There were about thirty or so pictures each one showing the growth of his stomach. "I didn't even know you had these. How long have you been putting things in this book?"

"Well, it started with Jin and after he was born I needed things to do, so I decided to do this for all our kids. They each have their own book, this one is ours."

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