Prologue

I thought I knew what love is, I thought it would be like how you love your family, siblings or friends but it was so much more than that. Who would have thought that I would change just for one single person. Until I meet him.

How could I let love control me like this. How can I be so selfish to abandoned everyone just for him. When I myself can't love me for who I am, I should have heed to the warning bells. How can I let it get this far.

It is my fault for everything that happened. I did this to myself. I let him manipulate, control, and belittle me for who I am.

I should have stop when I can but now I'm destroyed by him, just because I let him. But in an eye opening when I caught him with my best friend. I was crushed by it, No it was more than that. More than anyone can imagine to be crushed by not one but two of the people you trusted most.

Sighing..should have noticed it when I should maybe this is all my fault. It is alright to be fools once but not twice. How stupid can a person be, how can I let myself get this low.

He want me to lose weight, I tried but can seem to lose it at all. "You said you would lose some of your weight but you keep stuffing your face, you are looking like a cow! You are embarrassing me. I'm the don for godsake" he yelled at me. I felt so small and pointless, I know he thought whatever he said won't effect me but it did. It tore my heart.

He never knew how much I hate myself. How much I blame myself for overeating. How much I ached every time I would see him with other beautiful womans. Beautiful than me, slimmer than me, whiter than me and smarter than me.

I'm nothing. I had nothing to give but my heart and this betrothal. That's it. A betrothal made even before I was a day old. But because I thought he would love me for who I am and what I am. For godsake he was my first love.

I still remember when I first meet him, I was four years old and he was 12. He took my breath away. He is all I can see, I would follow him everywhere. He would always came to my house every summer break, well that is until he is 14 when he stop coming. He's from New York and I'm just a country bumpkin and middle class family that just so happen that my dad saved his father when he was being shot on that fateful day.

Well my father had his luck when the man that he saved was some bigshot Italian mafia. He tried to pay my father but my father is a down to earth person,he is always grateful for God given gift. Next thing we know he insist on making betrothal for his only son.

My dad's he love me to much by insisting not go through this betrothal. Somehow he knew I would get hurt. But I was blinded by my love for him that I ignored what people had warn me about him.

Maybe it's time for me to let go and let him go

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