A past regret or a new life?

I always feel like i'm drowning\, suffocating\, in this cruel world full of people who only see you and think shame. I can't help but think that when people are nice to me that they just want to use me or fool me. It's been like this for awhile and i'm so tired of pretending i'm fine\, who should i pretend for? my friends family? well it's sad to say but i really don't have any of those. My family tries to avoid me i think\, everything was fine on the first day of high school. I had met one friend that day and i thought wow he's handsome\, his eyes were a beautiful brown\, his hair was a bit curled\, and his smile was as wide as a galaxy.  Kim Taehyung was the name of my first friend in high school and also my first crush. On a boy that is\, taehyung was the first person i met at school and he showed me around the school. After a few weeks we became best friends and i-i thought that he liked me back. I confessed to taehyung with a love letter from the school printer and i somehow left a paper behind. One of the school bullies found the letter and read it out to everyone including taehyung. I ran home crying before i even heard taehyung's response and i stayed home from school for a week to find out taehyung moved to a school in Daegu where he once lived. Since the whole school found out i'm gay they avoid or pick on me. There are other gay people in the school but\,    they hide it or don't say anything to avoid being picked on. After four months the bullies still bullied me\, but it got better than before. In December our class got notified of a new student from the school of Busan i was surprised yet happy someone from busan is coming to our school. I was still scared the other students would tell the person i was gay and then they wouldn't want to go near me. I later found out that the student would arrive Monday and i would be their escort around the school. At that time i didn't care who it would be girl or boy\, I just wanted a friend. That night i found out it was a boy i would be escorting and i suddenly got reminded of taehyung and got goosebumps. In reality i was afraid of the same thing happening again and i couldn't let it happen to me. I stayed up all night thinking about the boy and i decided to not fall in love with him. But of course i knew that my heart was uncontrollable and fragile. This was it\, this was the day i would meet him\, the boy who i would show around the school that was dangerous and cruel. Now since i'm saying this i should feel bad for this kid\, i wish i could skip school everyday but i just can't let myself down. I walked to school this morning instead of riding the bus in hopes that the new student got showed by someone else but no. As i walk into the principles office i see a boy with brown hair and doe eyes that sparkled like diamonds. As i thought that i scolded myself to get that thought out of my head. (jimin this is how it happened last time you'll get hurt) I still didn't know what to do\, on the outside i was calm but on the inside i was screaming. How could someone look this good? After thinking that i heard a sweet soft voice. (New Student): Hi my name is jungkook\, jeon jungkook but you can call me anything*smiles*. And from that moment i didn't want to be fooled but i didn't want to be mean. Jm: *smiles* Hi\, i-i'm Jimin park. *shakes hands* JK: jimin\, i like that......The End

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