Episode two

“How did you find those articles?” Jimin asked before wrapping his plump lips around the pink straw in his drink. He seemed genuinely curious so the alpha cleared his throat before telling him the truth – that he had his personal assistant looking for them.

“That’s very chaebol of you.” Giggles filled the room and Jeongguk smiled, relaxing against the backrest of his chair.

It was Tuesday night and Jimin’s scent was polluted by the faint odor of black coffee, and as much as it irritated him, Jeongguk decided not to say anything about it because he knew that the escort did his best to wash strangers’ scents off his skin before meeting him. Jimin had told Jeongguk that he hated smelling of other people, but it was inevitable.

“Did they help you in any way?”

By the way Jimin’s stare casted downwards, Jeongguk knew he’d struck a sensitive chord. Maybe it wasn’t his place to insist on the subject, but he had a proposition and hoped Jimin was going to accept it. In his twenty-nine years of living, Jeongguk had never spent more time overthinking what could go wrong than he did before their meeting.

“Some things were on point but there was also some stuff that made me... uncomfortable.” The omega scrunched his nose in distaste before continuing. “I’m curious how that kind of relationship could be, though.”

The first time he went through the articles, Jimin had focused on the feelings and the mindset of littles. But then he’d continued with a little research of his own.

What fascinated him the most was what the people of that community shared on forums. Their relationships sounded ideal and as much as Jimin would have wanted to spend time daydreaming about having something like that, he knew it was highly improbable for that to happen.

“It is a subcategory of BDSM, right?” Jeongguk asked seriously, and Jimin nodded. “So the dynamic still involves a dominant and a submissive.”

“It doesn’t seem to be just that,” the blond released a heavy sigh, placing his cutlery on the almost-empty plate in front of him. “Let’s forget about it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t think it has any use to talk about it.”

“I’ve actually wanted to make you a proposal.”

The omega’s whole body went rigid as soon as he registered the words and his eyes widened slightly.

“Why don’t we try it out?”

Plump lips parted but no sound came out of the escort’s mouth, his hands turning into fists as they rested on his thighs. Jimin had suspected that this was what Jeongguk had wanted to say as soon as he heard the word proposal, but he had still hoped that wouldn’t be the case. The disappointment he was currently feeling made him want to scream but he held back.

“Is that your way of telling me that you want us to start having sex?” Jeongguk instantly noticed that Jimin’s scent became bitter, and by the venomous way he spoke every word, knew that his idea had not been well received.

“No. You got me wrong –”

“I’ve trusted you enough to open up about this and that’s what you come up with?”

It dawned to Jeongguk then, how the situation looked through cinnamon-colored eyes. The omega believed that Jeongguk was trying to use his “weak spot” to receive sexual favors. When in reality, he truly just wanted to help. The alpha had never thought about a sexual deal, he instead, had focused on the idea of offering Jimin this possibility to allow him to feel little in a safe space.

“I should have never told you.” The blond boy’s voice was small, holding both anger and guilt.

“I’ve seen it, Min. I’ve seen how different you act when you’re feeling like that, and I just wanted to give you the chance to be yourself when you’re with me.” I wanted what we have to be good for you.

Maybe it was entitled of him to think that Jimin would pick him out of all the other alphas he was seeing in order to fit in this role, but Jeongguk had hoped he was not the only one feeling the chemistry going on between them. He genuinely cared about the boy but the contractual side of their relationship, kept him from finding out more about him. Jeongguk felt greedy, but he wanted to know more about Jimin the person, and not Jimin the escort.

“How chivalrous of you,” the omega remarked sarcastically. “Thank you for the offering but I’ll have to decline it. I think I can handle everything on my own.” He got up from the table, grabbing his jacket when a gentle hand rested on his forearm.

“Come on, Min,” Jeongguk tried. “Don’t act like this.”

“And how am I supposed to act, Mr. Jeon?” Jimin’s voice boomed through the room, the coldness of his tone making the other get up himself. “You’re overstepping boundaries while trying to sell yourself as this prince charming who cares about me when in reality, we both know that you don’t give a ****.”

“That’s unfair –”

“You know what else is unfair? Acting like you’re different and like you’re only looking for a friend just so you can ask for sex in the end.” The omega was fuming and they both spotted a waiter that was hesitant as to whether or not he should proceed in their direction. He was probably concerned about the noise.“You’re all the fucking same, you only care about yourselves.”

“You never gave me the chance to care about you!”

Jimin froze for a second because of the words, but only momentarily before he turned on his heels, leaving the restaurant as fast as his feet allowed him to. The shy waiter finally approached Jeongguk and asked him if he needed anything else, if he was alright.

“I’d like a bottle of chardonnay if that’s possible.”

“Right away, sir.”

Jeongguk faked a smile before the waiter disappeared and he relaxed back against his chair. He wished they could have talked things through, that Jimin had managed the patience to listen to him, and understand his intention. He couldn’t imagine what kind of things the escort must have gone through to have such low self esteem at twenty-three years old. Jimin had no idea how endearing he truly was.

Jimin dipped his head in the warm water to avoid wiping the tears that wouldn’t stop falling. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t stop feeling like this. The truth was that he was feeling lonely – even more than he usually did. His heart felt heavy inside of his chest and his muscles began to hurt due to the restlessness he was feeling.

He knew his face had to be swollen when he finally decided to dry his body and hair, heading to the bedroom. He’d had the intentions of brewing himself some tea but he forgot all about it after choosing to turn his blankets into a warm cocoon.

He felt disappointed, and it was all his fault for ever thinking that Jeongguk could be different. Of course he would eventually request sex at one point or the other. In the end, that was what he “did” best – pleasuring strangers with his body, until ******, believing he was useful because of it. Jimin found validation in every touch, and every praise, but he was well aware that it was nothing more than an illusion. Jeongguk was the first-hand example.

Jimin curled his body further and closed his stinging eyes. “I’m sorry, Jiminie.” His mother’s words were ringing clear inside his head and he could almost feel her warm hand resting on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. He was sorry too.

He woke up with a horrendous headache and slipped out of bed despite the fact that his digital clock read four in the morning. He was more than awake so he took some medicine and made himself chamomile tea, his throat feeling dry. He’d dreamt that Jeongguk was hugging him, his calming scent covering him like a blanket, fingers skimming over his lower back slowly. His anger had died down, it was his fault for projecting his wishes on someone else, the chaebol didn’t owe him anything.

He had to calm down, to leave aside his uncalled for feelings and apologize.

Jimin grabbed his phone because he couldn’t drink the hot tea without hurting himself, and saw the many notifications he’d received. They were mostly from Jeongguk but he decided to ignore those and cleared his schedule for the following few days. He felt the need to wallow in self-pity for a while.

Jeongguk’s messages didn’t stop coming in during the next few days either though, so Jimin simply muted the conversation and tried to go out on dates on his own, treating himself, despite the fact that he believed he didn’t deserve it. He renewed his wardrobe and went to the movies alone, walking around the city whenever he didn’t feel like doing anything else.

Friday night found him wearing leather pants because he was meeting a new client and he’s been told that he was on the more extreme side of fetishes. Jimin liked to fulfill other people’s fantasies as long as they weren’t too much for him to handle and he was curious about what this alpha would ask of him. He straightened his white shirt before knocking on the hotel door and putting on his prettiest smile, happy with his choice of perfume. He knew the sourness of his scent still lingered and Jimin didn’t want to give any explanations.

“Hello,” the man purred as he opened the door and invited him in. “I’m Hyeon-u.”

“Nice to meet you,” Jimin replied immediately and felt hands taking the jacket off his shoulders.

“I hope you don’t mind us having dinner here.”

Jimin usually preferred having the first meeting in a public place – a restaurant, most times – but another old client gave this man Jimin’s number so he decided it was alright to compromise. The older alpha’s figure seemed familiar so Jimin did his best to search through his memories, until he realized he was a political figure. That explained why he didn’t want to be seen outside a hotel room in the presence of an escort.

“It’s fine.”

“I’ve already ordered the food.”

That didn’t sit well with Jimin, but he put on a crisped smile anyway.

“Are you a mind reader?” The alpha arched a brow in surprise at Jimin’s words. “How else could you have known what I’d like to eat tonight?”

“Don’t get feisty with me, sweet cheeks,” Hyeon-u chuckled and gestured towards the small room-service menu. “You’re free to order anything you’d like.” He wrapped an arm around Jimin’s shoulders, guiding him towards the electric blue sofa. “Money is not the only department I’m not lacking in.”

The man’s suggestive replies were tacky, and only made Jimin consider leaving immediately. The thing was, he knew he would have only gone home and sulked some more, so company was welcomed, even if it was bad company. He also felt the need to release some tension through sex.

“So how does it work for you? Do you only meet one alpha per day?”

“Not necessarily,” Jimin replied, downing his glass of champagne – he took the liberty of ordering the most expensive drink he could find.

“I hope you’re clean.”

“I’m not having unprotected sex.”

The man seemed bothered by the answer but Jimin continued eating, trying to show him how little he cared about his opinion. At least he wasn’t trying to change his mind.

“I think we should start.” It was supposed to be a “punishment”, a trial of showing who the alpha was. It was rather rude because the blond still had more than half of his food untouched, and could sense his stomach grumbling with need,but Jimin decided to honor his client’s request, and grabbed a napkin in order to wipe his mouth.

“What would you like us to do first?”

“Get on the bed.”

His instincts were yelling at him not to but there were a thousand reasons for him to follow the plain order.

“Leave the pants on, I want to take them down,” Heyon-u added and took off his shirt, showing off his beer belly. There was something about his tone that made the escort feel uncomfortable but Jimin decided to ignore it, thinking that he was just being too sensitive for his own good. At the end of the day, he needed the money to survive. “Can I blindfold you?”

“Yes.” The omega fixed his stare on the ceiling for a few minutes in a pathetic attempt to kill the anxiety rearing its ugly head. He took in a big breath before allowing the man to slip the black material over his eyes, and felt a pair of lips sliding down his neck. Having his vision restricted had its perk – if it wouldn’t have been for the obnoxiously strong musky scent, Jimin could have almost imagined someone else’s lips on his body. He didn’t mind the hands as they began roaming all over his body because he was trying so hard to pretend it was someone who loved him.

“Fuck, you have such an amazing body.” Rough hands came to cup his backside and Jimin couldn’t bite back the words leaving his tongue.

“Could you please not speak?”

It was rare for him to snap like that – he was a professional – but there was no way to change what happened and he opened his eyes, alarmed when he was greeted by darkness. The alpha’s scent turned bitter and he felt a shiver running down his spine, this time in fear.

“What the **** is wrong with you?” The words were spat at him and they were so loud that he flinched. “I pay for this so you shut the **** up.”

Jimin felt the body on his as if it weighed thrice as much, his limbs pinned against the soft mattress. He felt his shirt being pulled over his head and a coarse finger brushing over one of his nipples. Instead of feeling the familiar heat pooling in his lower abdomen, Jimin only tensed further.

“I planned on playing nice but you seem to want a punishment.” Heyon-u didn’t want any time and pulled on Jimin’s pants forcefully enough for the single button to rip before grabbing his crotch almost painfully. Jimin gasped and tried to get up, his brain unable to form proper words, while pumping adrenaline inside his blood. He was about to rip the blindfold off his eyes when he felt a slap falling across his face and fell back on the bed.

One of his number one rules was that no one could touch his face – no slapping, no kissing. That was the only part of his body that felt entirely his and his alone.

“I –“ He felt tears prickling his eyes. “I’m leaving.” He was trying to sound composed but his voice was quivering, his scent souring. It felt like he was spiraling towards that peculiar state of mind from before but he knew he had to stop whatever was going on.

“The **** you are.” Heyon-u was using his alpha voice and before Jimin could utter another word, his whole body was manhandled over the man’s lap and a palm fell hard on his backside making his whole body jump. His skin was burning and he finally allowed a proper sob escape, his chest heaving because of the intense pain combined with the fear. A few more slaps fell on his upper thighs so hard that he began to cry despite his effort to keep his dignity in check.

He managed to grab the material and pull it off his eyes, and tried to gather all of his strength to get away from the stranger but a hand grabbed him by the hair and pulled his head back.

“Are you going to obey from now on?” Heyon-u asked, completely ignoring the tears cascading down his pale cheeks.

“Fuck you.” Jimin spit back, only to be dragged back on the bed by his hair, a hand wrapping around his neck ready to choke him.

“I think you got this wrong, honey. I’m the one who’s gonna **** you full of *** tonight,” the alpha gritted through his teeth. “So watch your fucking mouth because you’re just another useless hole for me to use.” His fingers tightened around the omega’s throat and soon his mouth was covering Jimin’s.

As soon as he felt a metallic taste on his tongue, Jimin realized he must have been bleeding. He couldn’t focus on anything else beside how nauseous the chapped lips were making him feel. He felt something warm forcing its way inside his mouth and swallowed hurriedly before biting harshly on the tongue of the other. He dug his teeth so deep in the warm muscle that the alpha pulled away immediately, trying to deliver a punch to Jimin’s stomach as soon as he realized that he was trying to run away, but Jimin was unstoppable.

“You fucking bitch.”

The blond fell off the bed, feet feeling like they were made of jelly but immediately got up and grabbed all the things that belonged to him and ran to the exit. He ran down the stairs of the hotel barefoot, barely managing to keep his pants on.

“Sir , are you ok- ” The man at the front desk was quieted with a simple nod, and Jimin made it out of the building before he burst into sobs. It felt like the earth ran from under his feet and he couldn’t breathe anymore, the oxygen insufficient despite the fact that he was outdoors. People were staring at him because he had no shirt on and he hurried to wipe his tears off his cheeks when he saw the blood smudged all over the back of his hand and sobbed louder, fear and guilt eating him whole.

He fished for his mobile that he thankfully left inside his jacket and dialed Jeongguk’s number because there was no one else he knew in Seoul. He was wailing by the time the fourth ring was heard and pressed his back against the cold building, trying not to throw up.

“Min?”

As soon as Jimin heard the familiar voice he tried to suppress his crying but failed right away.

“Jimin? What happened?”

“Jeonggu –” He brought a hand up to muffle his ugly sobs. “C-Could you pick me up?”

“What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m sorry for – Ggukie, please. I don’t ha – I don’t have anyone else.” He was a babbling mess and the idea of the alpha not understanding what he wanted to say made him choke with anxiety. “Please.”

“Try to breathe, baby,” Jeongguk said as kindly as possible. “Why don’t you call for a cab and come to my place? I’ll pay for everything.”

“Can’t.” Jimin sounded so small and lost that it broke the man’s heart. There was no way for the escort to ride a cab while looking like that, and then it dawned on him. “What if –“ He whimpered. “What if he comes after me?”

“He?” There was no answer to that so the alpha continued. “Send me your location, sweetheart. I’m grabbing my keys right now, okay?”

“Okay.”

Nothing else was said after that but neither of them hung up. They were lucky because the hotel was only twenty minutes away from the apartment complex Jeongguk lived in so the drive didn’t last long. The alpha parked in front of the building and felt all the blood draining from his face when he spotted Jimin sitting on the cold ground, his arms hugging his legs, his whole body shaking because of the coldness. His stomach dropped so he got out of the car, not bothering to lock it before heading in the escort’s direction.

“Min,” he tried and the omega immediately looked at him, probably feeling his scent. “Fuck, baby. What happened to you?” There was dry blood on his nose and on the left side of his face and his upper lips seemed swollen. He had nothing underneath his jacket.

Jimin didn’t seem to have the courage to move so Jeongguk squatted in front of him.

“You’re okay, little one.” His voice was almost a whisper. “I’ve got you.” He lifted a hand to cup at his soft cheek and felt the boy flinch under his touch, teardrops still gathering at the corners of cinnamon eyes. “Ggukie’s got you,” he promised and fell on his knees as his hand slipped down the curved back of the omega, pulling him forward slightly.

Jimin’s sobs got louder as he fell limp against the strong chest he was offered, his body curling further as if he was trying to be engulfed wholly by the embrace. His hand grabbed a fistful of Jeongguk’s shirt.

“W-Wanna leave.” He whimpered. “Can we leave now?”

“Of course.” A soft kiss was pressed on top of Jimin’s blond head and the alpha pulled the other flush against him. “Wrap your legs around me, I’ll carry you to the car.” He had no idea where these feelings were coming from but what he knew for sure was that he was willing to kill anyone who dared to come near Jimin.

The crying never ceased, not even after they reached the car. Jeongguk swallowed loudly when he saw that the leather pants were ripped but didn’t say anything, knowing it would only worsen the situation. It was heart-wrenching to see Jimin in that state, shaking and barely able to maintain eye contact. The omega didn’t ask for it but Jeongguk made sure that their hands remained linked all the way to his place.

“Do you want me to run a bath for you?”

Jimin shook his head immediately at the question, biting harshly on his lower lip. He didn’t want to be alone.

“Okay, let’s go to the bathroom so I can help you clean your face up.”

The blond didn’t protest as they moved to the bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub as instructed as Jeongguk looked for his first aid kit. It was a simple dark blue box, and he retrieved alcohol from it along with some compresses. He abandoned them in order to grab a washcloth and dampened it with warm water before he began to gently pat at Jimin’s swollen face.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Jimin didn’t answer, so Jungkook continued softly. “I know we didn’t part in the most amicable way, but I’m really happy you called me, okay?” He was too busy with his task to see the tears rolling down the boy’s cheeks.

“’m sorry.”

“Oh, baby, no,” Jeongguk whispered and shook his head. “I’m happy I could help.”

“I shouldn’t have a-agreed,” Jimin sobbed. “I shouldn’t have met him there.” He shouldn’t have tried to act braver than he was, to push himself like that. He couldn’t imagine how the night would have ended if he hadn’t run. “And he - ” It felt like he couldn’t breathe. “He kissed me,” Jimin wailed, hiding his face in his hands. “I’ve never kissed anyone before.” His fingernails dug into the skin of his face because he felt the need to punish himself for being so stupid. “I’ve never kissed anyone b-before and he did. He t-took it a-away from me.”

He sounded hysterical and leaned so his arms were pressed against his thighs, feeling like he could vomit at the memory. His first kiss was everything he had left and he swore himself to make it special. Unlike everything else in his life, he wanted it to be sacred, to be shared with someone special. His brain was replaying those disgusting seconds again and again, that dirty tongue entering his mouth so forceful that it made him sick.

“Min,” Jeongguk cooed. “Look at me, baby.”

Jimin shook his head.

“I’ve –” The omega gulped. “I’ve saved it my w-whole life, I wanted it to be good. I wanted to have something good t-too.”

Jeongguk ran his fingers through his hair, distressed by the sight. The Jimin he knew was always proud and sure of himself, strutting inside every room and having alphas wrapped around his pinky. The weeping omega in front of him seemed to be a completely different person. He couldn’t begin to fathom what kind of life the boy lived.

“Sometimes –” He cleared his throat. “ – things don’t go as planned.” Jimin shook his head, his inhales and exhales uneven. “Whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault. It’s not your fault some asshole hurt you, it’s not your fault he forced himself on you.” The wailing that followed turned Jeongguk’s heart into pieces and he couldn’t hold himself from pulling the omega into a tight hug.

“Why can’t I –“ Jimin almost shouted against his chest. “I just want s-something good for me too.”

“I know, baby,” Jeongguk whispered and began to croon as soon as the omega was safely placed on his lap. The low purring didn’t stop the crying but Jimin almost fell against him, probably exhausted because of the past hour’s events. “That’s it, little one.” He rubbed circles onto the shaking back and took the liberty to scent the omega subtly. “Let’s finish cleaning you up.”

“I don’t want to.” The boy wanted to stay like that for a while because he felt like his whole being was numb. He didn’t want to be pulled out of that drowsiness because his brain was slowing down, his heart finally stopping to knock on his ribcage.

“I know but we have to. I want to look at your wounds too.”

His upper lip was cut and by the look of it, his cheek was going to swell up. Jimin held onto his shirt for dear life even through the whole cleaning-up process, but it was obvious that he was trying to be on his best behavior. His glassy eyes were the only ones that betrayed the way he still felt and Jeongguk tried not to look into them, not knowing what else he could say to console him. He could imagine that being an escort was dangerous and he wondered if things such as this one happened before.

“Did you have dinner already?”

Jimin nodded, more tears springing at the memory. He was still hungry but he would throw up if he came near anything edible.

“Do you want me to brew some tea or do you want to try to rest?”

“Tea?” Jimin was afraid that resting meant being guided to the guest bedroom and left alone to deal with everything that happened. He wanted to spend as much time as possible near the alpha so his fingers remained clawed around the material of Jeongguk’s shirt as they made their way to the kitchen.

He sat down at the table as Jeongguk put some water on the electric stove and hurried to the bedroom only to come back with a thick sweater. He didn’t say anything, instead gently dressed Jimin with it, wiping some more tears away in the process.

“Thank you,” the blond whispered and wrapped his arms around his own body protectively. He didn’t ask for sugar despite the fact that the drink was too bitter for his taste, instead took a huge gulp of it. He liked how warm it made him feel. He was still hazy, like he was struggling to go back to normal when all he really wanted to do was to let go. “’m sorry for tonight. I could go home.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to be alone right now.” Jeongguk didn’t sound like he was blaming him so Jimin bit on his lower lip in order not to cry some more. He felt exhausted. An arm wrapped around him and the man pulled him closer to his body, allowing his head to rest on the broad shoulder. His scent was still sour. “I know what happened to you was scary but I’m here now, okay? And I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Jimin inhaled the green tea scent deeply and gave a shy nod. He wasn’t sure he could form words properly so he finished his drink in silence. He felt relieved when Jeongguk suggested he should sleep in his bedroom and was offered a pair of sweatpants before slipping under the weighted blanket. He was exhausted.

“I have to check my mail but I’ll do it here,” Jeongguk whispered and grabbed his laptop. It was sweet that he wanted to stay by his side – that was all Jimin could think about before he fell asleep.

He dreamed of hands touching all over his body. Fingers pulling and kneading, big mouths searching his skin despite his loud protests. He struggled until all the strength left his body and then gave up, dissociating as shadows used his body as they pleased. Useless. Jimin could hear his mother’s words – I’m so sorry. He was sorry too.

He woke up sweaty, his heart beating a hundred miles per hour. The panic increased once he looked around the room so he got into a sitting position, a bead of sweat sliding down his neck. He let out a gasp when he felt someone moving next to him.

“Hey.” It was Jeongguk. “Hey, what happened?” The alpha was making great efforts to fully wake up.

“Had a bad dream.” Jimin gulped loudly.

“Come here.”

The chaebol opened his arms widely and the blond hesitated a bit before accepting the invitation and laying down beside the other. It was the first time he was held like that and he pressed his ear against the alpha’s strong chest, listening to his heartbeat. Just like magic, the anxiety evaporated and he could breath normally once again, snuggling closer and nosing at Jeongguk’s plain shirt.

Long fingers running through his blond strands.

“It’s not real, little one.” How could Jeongguk know that it actually was? Jimin closed his eyes and shyly tangled his legs with the ones next to him. “Do you think you can try to fall asleep?”

“I can try to.”

“Good boy,” Jeongguk whispered against the top of his head and pressed a gentle kiss on the same spot. It made Jimin feel all fuzzy, so he pressed his cheek against the alpha’s front and tried to relax.

He wanted to be a good boy for Jeongguk.

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