Vacations brings new start

For some it’s a bane, for some its more pleasured memory of life for me it is my best memory in form of my worst nightmare.I want to forget about all those memories they haunt me .they never let me sleep. Those memories catch my breathe but I can never overcome those memories when I stand on balcony I can sense you in ruthless wind, I can imagine you in infinity sky, I can see you smiling in brutal flower, I can touch you in blaze of snow fall

My life became completely messed in these 3 month.I always question myself why? Why ? Why ? You made me like this. How can you do this with me . Do you think I can live like this after i killed the person whom I liked the most in the world .do you really hate me this much. Of course you hate me that’s why you made me do this. I wanna kill myself !! How can live without you . How can I live with the thought that I killed you .this is nightmare for me I want to wake up but there is no one who can wake me ..you told me that you love me but you never that’s why you left me all alone to endure this. I just wished for a perfect small love life with you.. but you gave me unpredicted love. I hate myself to the death I even hate my shadow I hate my reflection I hate my heart,I hate the fact that I am living that I am breathing when you are not hear. I can’t endure this anymore I want to die but I can’t. Why?why?why?why this has to be with m. You have promised to stay with me forever but you got fed up with me in just 3 month how can you leave like this after making my life so messed

3 month ago :

I hate vacations because I have to go home for vacations I just hate it at the age of 10 I just throw a heck all over the house because I want to go the city for my further studies. I don’t want to stay in house I want to go far and far away I never got any family connections with my family even though I have a father, a step mother, half bother and a grand father. I used to have a dog (robin)

Robin is only member with whom I have spend my most the childhood and share memories. But after robin died I have no reason to go.ahh!!what should I do.

Edam …..Edam ….Edam……(Alex call awaking me from my thoughts)

What!!! why are shouting?? I can hear. What’s the matter?

Hey!why are you so angry? It was you who was daydreaming

Stop it guys there you go again.

A voice interrupted it was mela stop it guys why are you always fighting we have more important issue to discuss where should we go for vacations and most importantly we have this year topic as nature falls .. oh no …my inner me says out of all three only my hometown have something like that I really don’t wanna go home I just don’t I don’t wanna face them please please …. Mela call me( ohh no holy crap she will definitely suggest to go my home town my inner me) lets go to yours few second later right.. alex says well I don’t have choice lets go. Hey! Why are you always like this on this topic grow up after all you all are family

To be continued.....

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