01

"This is my daughter" my dad introduced me to his Chinese relatives. I remember that I'm just 6 that time and my mom passed away early because of cancer so my dad decided to go back to China.

I remember myself standing beside my dad, hugging his arms because I'm scared. Everyone looks at me like I am a disgusting thing.

That time I have no choices, my mom passed away and my dad was too depressed because of it. He said that he can't take care of me alone because of this so we flew to China.

Day by day, my dad got worsen. He's always in his room crying and drinking because of sadness. I always cry when I saw him in his fragile state but I cannot do anything.

My cousin always mocked me because of my skin color. They always say that I'm a bad fortune and doesn't deserve to be part of the Chen family. That will always make me cry and angry but I always remember my mom saying "Always be good, Ginnella. Good always wins" and decided to ignore them all the time.

One of the reasons why they hate me the most is because grandfather Edward Chen likes me. He said that he's fond of Filipinos because in the past when he got injured, a Filipino helped him. He plays with me when he got time and always buys me gifts because he don't want me to feel that I'm alone.

I appreciate all of grandpa Chen efforts, he's one of the reasons why I am smiling. With this world full of toxic people, I am blessed because I have someone like him that accepts me for who I am when no one does.

Me and my cousins study at the same school. I get in and got a scholarship on the best university here in China by myself because I don't want to bother Grandfather about this I can handle but as soon as cousin Weilan Chen and Xixi Chen found out about this, they immediately enrolled too and take the same course I took.

I'm doing my best to keep silent and just study but this two wouldn't stop making things hard for me. One time, they accused me of cheating on the exam because they got jealous when I got the highest score so I was forced to do a retake. I did it without saying anything, I did it without disagreeing.

Hoping that this would satisfy them and hope that they will leave me alone but they won't stop, this things wouldn't satisfy them. I kept this things to myself without telling grandfather or my father because I don't want them to worry. I got this! I need to be strong.

During the day I am always seen as a quiet and introvert girl but when the night comes, I always cry when I hear my father mumbling my mother's name. The pain that I am unwanted by our family and the pain that I can't have a complete family again.

It hurts so much...

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