No longer but always has been Chapter 4

I then arrived at the Hospital.

I could see Faith crying by Daniel's door and she was trembling.. a few other of Daniels friends were there as well

I then asked what was going on.

Faith then replied..

"He gave up"

I was so shocked, and I anxiously asked what she means

Faith then said..

"He gave up the surgery and just asked to see you"

Why me? Why me? That's all I can think of

But I wiped my tears and got myself together and went in.

But even though I tried to toughen up.

As soon as I saw Daniel laying in the bed with a painful expressions

My tears just started dropping and couldn't help but cry

Daniel then said..

"Come here, Nikki"

I went closer to him and stood beside his bed.

He held my hand but his hands were as cold as Ice his face was so pale

I just kept crying..

As Daniel held my hand..

I asked him when will his girlfriend come? Don't you need to see her

He smiled and said..

"Girlfriend? You mean....You?"

I was shocked..then told him to undergo the surgery

He painfully smiled then replied..

"It's to late....I did everything I can"

I cried and begged him to take it..

"even if it's just a small chance you need to try"

He paused and looked and me for a few seconds

Then He Kissed me and said..

"Even just for a moment, let you be mine"

After that he patted my head and wiped my tears..and finally said..

He finally said in such a sad tone..

"Nikki, It pains me to leave you but...I promise you if there is a next life, I would definitely marry you"

I kept telling him to stop saying those things.

But he lastly said..

"I love you and I will always love you"

As he said those last words his hand gently dropped down from holding my face

All I could do was scream and cry, begging him to come back, despite knowing he wont

At Daniel's funeral..

Faith gave me an album

When I open it..it was filled with our pictures together and on the last page it said

"I want to accompany you for life"

braking down in tears all I can wisper was..

"I want to accompany you to"

Faith then later asked if we could talk..

We went outside and she said

"Brother went abroad not just to study but to treat his illness..he didn't want to tell you so you wouldn't cry"

"But unfortunately it wasn't successful and was only given 2 more months to live..he decided to go back home and spend his last days with you"

There was nothing I could say at the moment..

And faith continued..

"Brother has always loved you, he never had a girlfriend and only said he did, so you don't have to worry about him"

"Sadly he gave up and refused further more surgery a few days ago, since he said it won't work anyways"

"He was going to ask you to be his girlfriend when he comes back and his illness is treated"

"He wanted to live and be strong, to stay by your side..but the world is never fair"

"I will go inside now, Nikkina"

At that moment all I can think about is that I was the girl he was describing to be his girlfriend

I was the person whom he wanted to spend the rest of his life with

And even to the end of his life he still considered my feelings and didn't want to hurt me

But what if I told him how I feel..would it have changed something, if I did maybe I could have made his last moments happier.

Maybe for atlases a moment of time we could have had each other..

There are so many things I regret..

being filled with "if only".. "what if"..."maybe" I had so many chances but I didn't take it..Now, I'll never get the chance again

"I didn't even get to tell Daniel"

"I love him"

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