Episode 4

Nathan Mortimer was outside the house of his first intended victim, Jeffrey Wang. Jeffrey was a 28-year-old lawyer who was Coldvir-20 positive and had visited the same coffee shop as Nathan’s grandmother Emma. Could it be Jeffrey who had infected Emma? It was hard to tell, but he fitted the criteria; young and believing that he was safe from the terrible virus. Nathan would prove him otherwise and Jeffrey’s positive Coldvir test would be the cause of his death.

Nathan corrected the scrubs that he had stolen from the hospital. For a moment he felt like an important government employee on a mission. Then he recalled that he had never held a job and that his HECS debt was in the six figures due to his Master’s degree in gender studies.

Nathan knocked on Jeffrey’s door, and a while later, Jeffrey opened it, while wearing a dirty T-shirt with some ramen noodles on it. Nathan cleared his throat and spoke:

- Humph Im Nathanmrrtimetrer.

Jeffrey gave Nathan a curious look and Nathan felt the embarrassment tormenting his mind. Bloody facemask, why did it make it so hard to speak? But then he remembered that one of his goals was to contract Coldvir-20 and give it to his homophobic grandmother, so he took off the facemask and spoke.

- Hi. I am Nathan Mortimer from the Victorian Health Department. I am here to follow up on your Cold Virus 20 diagnosis.

Jeffrey:

- I thought I was meant to self-isolate. Why is a member of the health department standing outside my door without a muzzle?

Nathan:

- Because I am bringing a new experimental wonder drug, courtesy of our friends in the Chinese Communist Party. I had it, and I was immediately cured of Coldvir-20.

Jeffrey:

- But I don’t want to get cured. I have a cushy and well-paid government job where I can ‘work from home’ as long as I don’t test negative for Coldvir. Having a slight cold is better than working.

Nathan:

- As a government employee, you must take new experimental drugs to help Premier Danielle Anders eradicate Coldvir.

Jeffrey:

- Very well. Hit me up!

Hearing this, Nathan pulled out the syringe with poison that he had stolen from the hospital. He was about to inject Jeffrey with it when Jeffrey interrupted him.

- Hey? Why does it say ‘Coldvir-20 treatment for elderly’ if this is a new experimental drug for young people?

Nathan:

- Oh, it’s just a typo. Google Translate mixed up the translation from Chinese when we printed the labels. It’s meant to say ‘Coldvir-20 treatment, not for the elderly’.

Jeffrey:

- That makes sense. Google Translate does that from time to time.

Nathan smiled, nodded, and injected Jeffrey. As Jeffrey collapsed to the floor, Nathan felt a great sense of achievement. He had carried out his first murder and he was one step closer to avenging his grandmother and facilitating a CCP takeover in Victoria.

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