Episode 3

Nathan Mortimer was watching the press conference on his iPad in the safety of his home, far away from all the selfish plague carriers outside. His Centrelink payment had landed in his account and this made him feel a bit better about himself. In an hour, he would mask up and head to a local coffee shop for a takeaway soy latte. The local coffee shop had a coffee happy hour between 3 and 4pm. Besides, fewer virus spreaders were waiting for coffee at that time of the day.

Danielle’s words on the press conference had given Nathan a double purpose in life. He could avenge his grandma through murdering enough young people with Coldvir-20 to prove that the virus was dangerous to everyone. If he played his cards right, Victoria could be in lockdown for another year, paving the path for the future communist utopia with Danielle Anders as the Supreme Leader.

Nathan had a brief moment of hesitation. Was it morally correct to go on a murderous spree and terrorise 6 million people because his 95-year-old estranged grandma had died? Wouldn’t it be easier to take up contact with his other grandma?

Nathan took up his phone and sent a text message to his grandma Loretta Mortimer: “Hi Grandma. I have terrible news. Grandma Emma died this morning from Coldvir-20. I just wanted to find out whether you are okay.”

A few minutes later, Nathan’s phone pinged with a voice message: “I thought she died years ago. Don’t you worry about me, you pink-haired poof. You’re still not in my will. **** off. / Loretta”

Ouch.

Realising that he wouldn’t inherit any money to keep funding his parasitic lifestyle, Nathan needed to support a communist takeover for his own sake, blissfully unaware that true communists don’t appreciate pink-haired parasites either. Nathan added “Contract Coldvir-20 and infect grandma Loretta to punish her for her homophobia" on his to-do list. After that, he left for the coffee shop to feed his caffeine addiction. Once he was caffeinated, he would plan his first murder.

***

“We need some young people to die from Coldvir-20!” Danielle exclaimed in a private meeting with her Chief Medical Officer “Professor” Button.

Professor Button gave her a confused look and replied:

- Why? How? Do you think a lot of young people die from catching a cold?

Danielle:

- Because someone thought it was a good idea to relabel the statistics of last year’s “deaths from old age” to this year’s “deaths from Coldvir-20”.

Professor Button:

- Oh really. Who would do something that stupid?

Danielle:

- You did, Professor Button.

Professor Button:

- I can’t recall doing that?

Danielle:

- You can’t recall botching up hotel quarantine either. The Coldvir-20 infected Escort Emily in room 202 at the Grand Chancellor has made $5,000 during quarantine from fucking the guards and police officers that were meant to keep her locked up.

Professor Button:

- To be fair, you have told people to work from home. Emily was following your directive or so, I have been told.

Danielle:

- Gasp! Don’t say you slept with her too?!

Professor Button:

- In my defence, she offers very competitive rates, and my dating life has been a bit poor because of the lockdowns.

Danielle:

- So, the cold that you had last month, was it Cold Virus 20?

Professor Button:

- Well, I never got tested so we’ll never know.

Danielle:

- You bloody idiot. Do you realise the implications if I get infected from this cold?

Professor Button:

- You’ll get a runny nose and you will feel under the weather for a few days?

Danielle:

- I’ll look like an idiot. How can I protect the population from this virus by introducing a Chinese Communist Party-style dictatorship if I can’t protect myself? I am giving you one chance to redeem yourself “Professor” Button. You need to find some young people that died with Coldvir-20, otherwise, I’ll fire you and I’ll blame you for the hotel quarantine debacle.

Professor Button:

- Understood, State Premier Anders. I will double my efforts.

Having said this, Professor Button put on his facemask and fled the furious Danielle in terror.

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