-Unwanted Answer to the Unwanted Question-

Chapter 1: J a s m i n e

As I started making my way through the crowded place in the early morning, I noticed how crowded it really was. But no matter what, I can't start my day without reading a book or two with a cup of coffee in my hand in the morning. Because that is how a morning really begins, right?

Maybe.

Oh, did I forget to introduce myself? I am sure I did and the reason is most probably because I am not that important or special of a person with a 'unique' or 'cool' personality.

Anyways, I am Jasmine Meyers or Jas for short. 19 years old, living in the United States. And studying at the Bluefield University of New York. I know that's normal for a 19 year old. And that's what everyone is; normal. But with the only difference being that I am probably too normal?

Yeah.

My parents? Well, they kind of don't exist in my life. Anymore. I don't want to sound like a 'kid' who is 'depressed' and hates her parents and family for it. But it's just that they haven't really been there for me when I used to see other's parents attending every single occasion or something to cheer their children up.

They haven't been there for me when I needed my classmates and everybody else to understand that I couldn't even speak. Even if I tried to. They used to make fun of me for not being like them.

Not being normal was my fault but my parents now tell me how normal I really am whenever they get the chance to. And it won't be wrong at all if I say they get that chance all the time.

All this did but don't matter anymore because I am just normal and that's what I knew I had to be throughout my whole life. And now I am exactly what they wanted me to be.

I don't cry anymore. At least, not in front of somebody. I don't hate myself anymore. At least, in the process of being a different, a normal me;I learned that loving yourself is greater than the rarest diamond in the world. It's truly important, very actually, to have love for your own self.

But enough now, I should not go on with my boring experience of life. Although it is quite special, to me.

Both of my parents work as doctors at a hospital in the United Kingdom. They are quite rich. Not that I would have had any problem if they were not. They gave me a giant home to live in, plenty of precious memories that would never get old or lose their preciousness.

They never really came here to visit me anymore since 3 years ago. "Darling, we can't visit you often and we are sorry but we will face time every night, okay?" they said and kissed me on the cheek on my 16th birthday. I never really knew if there was any word other than yes in the dictionary when it came to answering them, you can say it was more like just making sure to nod to my parents. And as I can't speak, I always used to nod my head twice, because they said, "It shows disrespect towards us when you nod for only once."

They were not bad parents but- wait I am just realising that I am blabbering. I am sorry, this is who I really am, an 'alien-who-needs-to-leave-the-planet-earth' or 'freak' from everyone's point of view; in a need of  someone or a Friend who could just be by my side and listen to all my thoughts although I would never really let them out, I wish I could though.

As I came out of my thoughts,I found the crowd coming to an end, I started hurrying and showed the librarian my card. I chose the book that I thought I would never read, I don't know why but maybe because it seemed to be too normal from the outside, covered in the brown-ish cover but too special in the inside? I didn't even start reading it and already felt like I should have read this years ago since I started reading.

I continued reading the book while drinking my normal black coffee which seemed to taste and smell new today.

Bluefield University:-

Silence.

That's the only thing that I always heard, felt and probably loved way too much to let go. And it was better that way. Nobody ever called my name or looked for me when I went to my college unless I had to participate in different jobs or was in trouble which is very rare as I didn't do much other than sitting at the desk in the back and listening to the class.

And as every other student in the school has to go through very hard times, and face bullies for no reason, I didn't have to worry about any of that. Because as I knew, I am very normal for anybody, literally anybody to show me any type of attention. Which was better that way to be honest.

It was 10 in the morning and I was attending my Math class. I loved Math but often questioned some obvious things that were supposed to be the way they are. When I was 4, I learned  that 1+1\=2, but the question that still didn't leave me was, Why? Why can't 1 keep being 1?If it was better that way then why can't we leave 1 as it was? Why did we have to make them 2? Why did we always have to complicate things?

Too many whys, but no answer.

Well, after the Math class, I had science. I didn't have anything negative to say about any of the subjects that we studied in college but science was probably the one that I didn't understand the reason to read at all! Not like I didn't like reading about the sun and the planets roaming around it. But I don't know why we had to read and know about what the plants did and eat, what is the reason to even give them so much importance when you have no idea what you are doing with your life? Are you even okay? Did you ever ask yourself this question? Did you really care about yourself at all?

Well, as I said. Too many questions but no one to answer to them.

I was focusing on nothing but my science book. Next moment the teacher gained our attention by screaming (argh, her habit, but she's the sweetest teacher you would ever meet) "ATTENTION STUDENTS. This is your new classmate and student of our college. Please Welcome her. Would you please introduce yourself, dear?"

"Hi everyone! I am Cloud Diellé O'Connell. Please call me Cloud. I hope you are gonna accept me." As her sweet voice spoke, I snapped out of my thoughts and looked at her. Oh holy cow-- She screamed innocence. She was definitely the definition of what you would call-- adorable. I am not exaggerating, she was just the way she is. She wore a baby blue skirt with a white blouse. And her backpack was pink-ish in color. Her brown hair was tied in a ponytail and she looked-- angelic.

The teacher said something to her and I didn't even realise when she was asking me if she could sit beside me. I was so embarrassed that I covered my face with my right hand. She giggled softly, oh holy cow. I nodded my head like an idiot when she asked me again.

I was still staring at her face with a blank expression on my face because I still couldn't believe that she sat beside-- me. Nobody did. No one cared to, because they knew I couldn't speak so why waste your time with someone who can't even respond back? And I felt kind of sad thinking that she would leave the seat and never decide to sit beside me again once she finds out that I can't speak; I am not like them all.

But leaving me surprised, she said, "I know you have a disability. But don't think I sat beside you without knowing about you. Miss told me that you can't speak and that's why I sat beside you. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, I'm sorry.. But can we be friends? Oh, I'm sorry.. I'm saying too much. Oof!"

As she said the most unexpected thing, I looked at her in surprise and made an "Are you kidding me?" expression, she giggled again and answered in the negative. But it was still unbelievable for me. Imagine the sun rising in the west, it was that unbelievable for me. I then kept looking at her and smiled sheepishly, now she will definitely know that I'm weird. I nodded my head and we became friends as she said.

Well, probably 1 was destined to be 2 after all. At least, my one question was answered.

Unwanted answer to my very unwanted question.

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