Vol 11 - 24

Vol 11 - 24

This feeling wasn’t bad. But there was a vague sense, almost like distant and faint anxiety looming over. Maybe it was fear. Slightly different, but similar.

It felt like an unexpected touch on the body that startled you, making you shrink back – a strange feeling.

“Feeling strange…….”

Christoph murmured to himself. Kyle looked at him with a puzzled expression. Christoph slowly rubbed his chest.

“It feels like this place is emptier. The taste can’t be felt anymore.”

Not just taste. Even sight, hearing, and smell seemed numb. Clearly, the senses were still functioning, but he felt as if a part of him was numb, like the feeling in a dream. As if he could perceive something, but it was covered by many layers of thick fabric.

“When did this happen?”

Kyle frowned and asked. Christoph replied indifferently: “It’s nothing serious. It’s not inconvenient or affecting anything”, yet he thought to himself:

Not for long. Maybe just recently.

But on the other hand, this feeling seems to have existed for a long time, as if each layer of fabric had been placed a long time ago and now was just being weighed down further.

Numbness. As if losing sensation.

“It still feels painful here…….”

Christoph placed his hand on his chest. Then he looked up at Kyle.

“Say it again.”

Kyle raised an eyebrow. His face shifted from surprise to understanding. He smiled gently and agreed with Christoph’s request as if to say: ‘You can hear it as many times as you want.’

“I like you, Christoph.”

“……Say it again.”

“I always wish for your happiness. Christoph, my dear one. I truly care for you.”

Kyle repeated, using a tone that seemed somewhat exaggerated but with clear sincerity.

Christoph remained silent. He stared at the hand placed on his chest.

“Do I…… really want to hear those words?”

Christoph asked Kyle with a curious expression, like a child asking an adult something they didn’t know. The smile on Kyle’s face gradually faded.

“Do you want to hear that?”

Kyle responded with a question instead of an answer. Christoph pondered and slowly shook his head.

“I don’t know.”

Christoph looked up at Kyle.

Not knowing. Unable to know. But there was a feeling that if he heard more, perhaps he would understand something. Not sure what it was, but maybe just hearing a little more would help.

“Say it again.”

Christoph whispered. It might have just been a feeling, but it seemed like his throat was trembling. He tilted his head in confusion and placed his hand on his neck, but his throat wasn’t trembling. But it felt as if it were trembling for some reason.

“My dear Christoph. I truly care for you.”

Even though Christoph was no longer a child, Kyle still whispered as if he were turning back time to say and repeat the words Christoph should have heard a long time ago. And Kyle would say them anytime, dozens or hundreds of times, with endless gentleness.

“One more time.”

Christoph said, and at that moment, he realized. It wasn’t the outside of his throat trembling, but the inside. That’s why his voice was slightly trembling.

“Christoph, I like you.”

A voice full of kindness and gentleness, like an older brother speaking to his younger sibling, echoed in Chris’s ears.

Strangely, why did his throat feel so hot? It was as if he had swallowed a burning coal, his throat ablaze. No, maybe it was because he was overheating.

“――Christoph. I like you.”

Suddenly, that gentle breath echoed in his mind.

It was the gentle voice he had heard not long ago, repeating over and over through overlapping lips.

All of a sudden, a sense of inexplicable anxiety welled up, deeply embedding itself in his heart, leaving him at a loss.

It was the voice he had locked away in his memory, preventing it from surfacing, but now it echoed in his mind.

“……―.”

Now. Even though it’s this late.

“Christoph?”

A voice called out, sounding both puzzled and uncertain. Kyle’s gentle gaze met Christoph’s eyes, but Christoph’s vision blurred and became unclear.

“……Chris.”

Christoph lowered his gaze.

Only now did he realize that the gentle voice etched into his memory was actually a terrifyingly sharp blade. It became clear that he had been hurt back then, something he hadn’t recognized at the time……. It was only now that it was evident in his mind.

“……You didn’t say those words just out of curiosity to see how I would react, did you?”

Christoph whispered.

Kyle was silent for a moment. After sensing the trembling in the whisper, instead of asking who had said those words to Christoph, he simply looked at him for a long time, as if scrutinizing, and then slowly smiled. He quietly shook his head.

“You didn’t say that just to see my reaction and find amusement in it, did you?”

Once again, Kyle shook his head.

“I like you, Christoph.”

A gentle voice, like that of an older brother speaking to his younger sibling, echoed in Chris’s ears.

“Say it again.”

Christoph said.

His pale, expressionless face trembled slightly. He didn’t look at Kyle but kept his head down. Relying only on that gentle, deep voice to cover the voice in his memory, Christoph said: “Say it again.”

His white cheeks were wet. Such a small thing. But his cheeks remained wet and wouldn’t dry.

“If you say it again, maybe I could like you too.”

Christoph whispered like a sigh.

******************************

Jeong Taeui stared at the wrinkled hands trimming the withered leaves.

Peter had been gardening his entire life, engraving his life’s work onto those hands. They were stiff and dark, covered in countless large and small scars.

“I guess it’s easy to hurt your hands in gardening.”

I glanced at my own hands, recalling my own past hardships. My hands, too, bore scattered small scars. However, when compared to Peter’s, my hands seemed smooth.

“This is a job that deals with life, so there are important things to protect, even if it means injuring your hand” – Peter murmured indifferently.

As he gazed at his own calloused hands, which could now grip small thorns without pain, Taeui whispered: “Life……”

“It’s wonderful that trees can live long, as long as we don’t cut them down.”

“Even plants that live for only one season leave behind seeds and continue to live forever.”

Taeui smiled at Peter’s words and replied: “That’s true.”

Then, a thought occurred to me. People who passed away young or didn’t live long.

I had never met the girl who was said to resemble Oliver or Richard.

So, when I heard that she died young, I felt only a slight pang of sorrow but not true grief or pain.

Instead, my thoughts were more focused on Christoph than on the poor girl who had passed away so young. I recalled Christoph’s emotionless face when mentioning Olivia’s name. With a tone of indifference and a hint of discomfort, Christoph had recounted memories of her little by little.

At that time, Christoph likely didn’t know what kind of expression he was showing.

“My brother also loved plants. When we lived together at home, we had many potted plants of all sizes. Sometimes, due to the sheer number, one or two plants would wither and die. It was sad when it happened to those we had cared for over a long time…… But no matter how precious life is, it never compares to the sorrow of human death.”

I focused only on the hands trimming the dry leaves, vaguely recalling old memories – memories that I rarely thought about in my daily life.

The experience of losing someone forever, whether from a distance or up close. It’s a feeling of loss that can’t be described with just the word ‘sad.’

Even if the person lost is just someone whose face you recognize, that feeling of loss is inevitable, differing only in degree.

“Perhaps it’s because death is final, with no return, that makes it even sadder. Later, even if you think: ‘I wish I had done this……’ there’s no changing it.”

Jeong Taeui chuckled bitterly.

The same thing had happened when my parents passed away. The saying: ‘You should cherish them while they’re alive’, was common, but it was hard to truly embed in one’s heart.

I had no regrets about anything. I had always tried my best to respect and love my parents. It wasn’t a forced effort but simply how I lived my life.

There had been times when I upset my parents, like when I got seriously injured playing with friends and ended up in the hospital, but I had no regrets.

However, sometimes, when I thought about them, I still felt a sense of loss.

“There are surely children who know they will regret it forever but still can’t take good care of their parents. That relationship isn’t just exclusive to parents and children.”

Peter spoke nonchalantly. Jeong Taeui murmured: “Yes, that’s true.”

Is it really like that? Does Christoph know? When he looks back and talks about Olivia after a long time, what kind of expression will he have?

“Living without regrets, no matter how you live, is a good thing.”

“Yes…… But that’s not so easy, Peter.”

I didn’t dwell on the past. I always tried to live in a way that I wouldn’t regret later. But even so, time never flowed according to my wishes.

I sighed lightly and shrugged. Then I looked at the old man before me, a smile suddenly appearing in my eyes, and I spoke unexpectedly.

“Even if the world ends tomorrow, wouldn’t it be better to live today as if planting an apple tree?”

“If the world ends tomorrow, no one would plant a tree. If they did, it would only make the tree feel pitiful.”

Peter raised an eyebrow as white as snow.

“But if I die tomorrow, I must plant a tree today.”

After observing Peter’s rough hands pruning the dry branches for a long time, Taeui smiled softly and called out his name.

“Peter.”

Peter glanced at Taeui while trimming the yellowed leaves and gently applied some medicine to the cut part with his fingertip.

“Live long. I wish you would live as long as this tree.”

Peter immediately glared and asked: “Do you even know what kind of tree this is?!” then grumbled: “Wishing an old man like me to live for thousands of years is no blessing.”

Jeong Taeui just laughed it off.

“Going back to Berlin is wonderful,” I mumbled as I swept the fallen leaves from the ground with a broom.

‘I’ll help Peter turn these leaves into compost later,’ I thought to myself.

At that moment, a gentle voice rang out from behind.

“Truly a beautiful tree. It’s rare to see a tree so healthy and beautiful, even in botanical gardens. That’s quite remarkable.”

The smile vanished from my face. I slowly turned my head, following Peter’s gaze.

Standing there was Richard with the same gentle smile that Taeui had last seen in Dresden.

The image of him on the small intercom screen last night had disappeared, as if it had never happened. He maintained his composed demeanor, as if nothing had ever occurred.

***************

“Ah…… You’ve arrived.” – I stopped sweeping. There was a brief hesitation, but I quickly put on my usual smile.

“I meant to come earlier, but after finishing the inheritance process, I was suddenly caught up in things, so I didn’t have time to handle everything during the day. In the end, I arrived late. I had already contacted Kyle beforehand.”

Jeong Taeui glanced at the clock—just past five. Richard must have been busy all day. Not long ago, Taeui had heard that after the succession ritual, the heir would be so occupied they couldn’t meet anyone for days.

However, if Richard managed to come at this hour, he must have had a day filled with work. Not to mention, last night’s gala had turned everything upside down.

“Where’s Christoph? Is he in the room?”

Richard wasted no time with small talk and went straight to the point. I propped the broom against the wall and shook my head.

“No. He’s in the courtyard with Kyle right now. ——Peter, I’ll see you later.”

I cheerfully accepted the bucket Peter handed me and took it to the storage shed. As I turned to look at Richard, instead of offering to guide him with a ‘This way,’ I simply turned and walked ahead. Richard silently followed.

Hopefully, everything will be alright. Taeui wondered if it was okay to bring Richard to Christoph without any prior notice. But perhaps Rita had already opened the door for Richard and informed Kyle.

“Did you just come back from Dresden?” I asked over my shoulder, and the response came swiftly.

“Yes. I had a lot to take care of…… Arriving late last night like that, I must have inconvenienced you.”

To Richard’s polite tone, I merely shrugged. “It’s fine,” I said, not being the one who needed an apology.

The two continued walking without speaking, and I began feeling a bit uneasy, scratching my head. I thought that perhaps I had the right to blame this man. But on the other hand, Richard had only stood by and watched Rahman’s incident without intervening much. It was hard to say Richard had done anything directly harmful to me.

Moreover, when Richard arrived last night, he hadn’t come to arrest Jeong Taeui. All he wanted was Christoph, someone related to his family. In other words, Jeong Taeui was merely an outsider to him.

“Dresden…… The atmosphere there must not be great right now, huh?”

I slowed my pace, creating a half-step distance between myself and Richard. After speaking, I worried that it might have been an inappropriate topic, but Richard simply smiled awkwardly, still calm.

“With such a big event and chaos happening at the same time, it’s inevitable that things are a bit messy. But everything will settle down in a few days. Thank you for your concern.”

Richard remained courteous, even adding a final polite remark. However, since I had been in the thick of the chaos, I only gave a vague response: “No, it’s nothing.”

Inside, Taeui felt a bit of admiration. Richard was perfect – completely composed. Not just his words, but his demeanor and expression showed no sign of discomfort or resentment.

It was hard to believe that a person could be this polite while calmly drawing boundaries like this.

Was this really the same man who had come here last night?

***Download NovelToon to enjoy a better reading experience!***