chapter 2 The Indirect Confession

Walking into my safe place the library is known for its ability to cancel noise and crowd also the kind of place where whispers carried further than shouts. "I'd promised myself I wouldn't look for him today. But there he was leaning against the library desk like he'd been waiting for me all along."

For a second, I just stood there hugging my books too tightly pretending to study the shelves. My heart was already racing like crazy. "Hello" he said when he finally noticed me flashing an easy smile the kind that made my knees go weak." Didn't't know you will be in the library this early in the semester." I tried to laugh, but it came out more like a squeak. "I ........ I like quiet places "he nodded saying"makes sense you've always been the quiet type."something about the way he said it made my chest tighten. Quiet type that was all he saw me as. Then I decided to test the waters and said there's...... actually someone I like" curiosity flickered in his eyes as he asked "oh yeah? Who's the lucky guy?" panic flared in my chest. My mouth went dry. I hadn't actually thought this through. I.......I don't know if I should say managing to say while staring at the floor.

Nuel oblivious to my feelings actually advised me to tell my crush if I liked him that it can't be that bad. Searching his eyes for a hint or anything that might mean he understood. but he was just grinning, completely unaware of the storm in my chest. Again I asked " you think so?" asking softly " of course" he said slipping his hands into his pocket. If only he knew,if only he realized the " guy" was standing right in front of me. Thoroughly guys aren't mind-readers and are clueless unless someone spells it out for them. I forced a small smile and said " maybe I will"."Good" he said. Picking his books to continue reading he paused and said " don't overthink it.life is too short." my smile faded the moment his eyes left mine. Life's too short. Easy for him to say he had no idea he was the answer to my every question.

Later in the day after getting home and having dinner I decided to test the waters again I waited to 9pm when I know he would be through with his practice I asked him again but this time a different approach "what is the difference between love and obsession" and he replied saying " love is when one can stand the other no matter the situation whether good or bad , pleasant and unpleasant no matter what they face it together while obsession is when one is possessive to another with or without expressing it." then he asked"why the question Emily " and I said what if one has liked someone since middle school and didn't know how to approach him because she doesn't want to ruin the friendship they have and he said keeping it in can be about regret that he has faced this once and later regretted it and he doesn't want me to regret it so I should open up that if I confess to my crush and he said no then It is not meant to be. Easy for he to say he isn't shy like me. Arghhhhh this is frustrating 😢

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